Happiness

shel90 said:
JennyB said:
I recently wrote a research paper on phonak ad campaigns in relation to this topic!!

Here are a few quotes from that paper...

"...there is an advertisement for a hearing aid called Naida Ultra Power (UP). The Naida UP is designed for people who are severely hard of hearing or profoundly deaf. The main slogan for the Naida UP is
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shel,

I can't find your response to this post. <confused>
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I don't agree with the last statement here. "...there is an advertisement for a hearing aid called Naida Ultra Power (UP). The Naida UP is designed for people who are severely hard of hearing or profoundly deaf. The main slogan for the Naida UP is “The power to change your life”. It promises maximum audibility and Phonak feels that by hearing more ones life will change. The ad implies that if you cannot hear, your life requires changing."

This product does say it has "The power to change your life." Yes it can if it works for the user. It will amplify sound to a level where the user can hear it. It does not say your life requires changing if you don't use it.


While I was loosing my hearing, neither my Dr. nor I knew why it was happening. For a while, I was wondering if what ever kind of bug I had was going to take my life along with my hearing. This occupied some of my time thinking about it every day. After all the tests were run and nothing was found I was able to change my view in that whatever was happening, was not going to kill me. I can handle being deaf, being dead is a little more permanent.

From my experience, people in general have very limited time to spend in thinking about what they say to people with limitations so they sometimes say the stupid things that we have all heard like some have mentioned earlier in this thread. People have a really hard time thinking about this type of thing.

Why should people try to spend time thinking about what it is like to be Deaf, Blind, Can't Walk, Can't talk they don't have to deal with this limitation therefore, they don't put much energy into it.

I honestly don't know what it is like to be Deaf and I'm not going to pretend like I do. Being Deaf in my mind is a whole lot different than not being able to hear. What I have personal experience with is what it is like to not be able to hear anything including a 130db concrete saw if I don't want to. I also have the ability to turn the world back on and hear foot steps 30-40 feet away when I choose. Some here may say there is no difference between being Deaf, deaf or not being able to hear.
 
shel90 said:
I see the the attitudes from people in general that being able to hear equates to a happier or better quality of life.

I do not feel that way. I think there is more to life than being able to hear like a hearing person but that's just me.

Does anyone else feel that way or does your happiness depend on your quality of whatever hearing you have?

Just trying to understand here because I get the feeling that there are so many people out there who have the view that if one cant hear well, their lives arent as good as hearing people or that people see those who cant hear as not having happy and productive lives.


For me, sure, I cant hear well but u know what? I dont dwell on it...

Was just curious if other feel that way or not?
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For almost 37 years I didn't have any involvement with anyone that was deaf. Not by choice, it was just our bridges did not cross. I didn't seek out anyone, I just lived my life. I graduated high school, got married, graduated college, got a job, had a child, finished my mastered. I never allowed others to feel sorry for me. Sorry didn't get a college degree or a job. Sorry does wake me up in the morning! My lack of hearing is such a small part of me, not the whole me. I'm sure others feel sorry for me. I tend to leave those people aside. My common response is 'why." I get more of this "miracle" and "sorry' online then in real life. It is amazing who others tend to pass judgment on the lack of hearing online in forums.

Now the choice of cochlear implants is not to "make me hearing." It is the same as people wearing hearing aids. Why do you wear them? I wore them to manage my career, hear my family, and just enjoy the sounds of music. I don't see wearing cochlear implants as I don't accept my deafness. The reason I am putting this here is this thread is posted in the hearing aid and cochlear implants. I don't feel I am any happier with cochlear implants, I'm just less stressed. Do I feel happiness is directly tied into hearing, not for me. I'm sure older adults who loss their hearing, it is very stressful.

As for hearing aid companies, the majority of us purchased them. I see pictures of people with them, so we do buy into the hearing - aided hearing. Is that phrase going to make you buy a hearing aid from the company, I don't think so. We buy hearing aids based on our hearing needs. I purchased mine on what the insurance would pay for or I could afford.

As for happiness, my happiness is my family, friends, and career. My hearing or lack of it is not anything I think about except to put on my CIs or recharge my batteries.
 
Regarding JennyB's "subliminal messages" from HA advertisements saying that it can change your life.

I hear that from almost every product available......

"Tampons can change your life by making it easier!"
 
Daredevel7 said:
Regarding JennyB's "subliminal messages" from HA advertisements saying that it can change your life.

I hear that from almost every product available......

"Tampons can change your life by making it easier!"
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Sorry that one got me tickled... :) :giggle:
 
Daredevel7 said:
Regarding JennyB's "subliminal messages" from HA advertisements saying that it can change your life.

I hear that from almost every product available......

"Tampons can change your life by making it easier!"
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Very true!

My paper was written for a disability studies course during which most of my work centred around the different approaches to Deafness. Individual, social, and cultural. Those were only parts of my paper. It was a critical analysis and my interpretation of the ads, amoung other things.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I see it as "ignorance is bliss". Usually you have to experience something in order to miss something. For example, if my HA or CI broke, I'd be really nervous and probably wouldn't be happy. Another example, Shel said above that she wouldn't be happy if she didn't have HAs on while trying to lipread someone. Both situations make us unhappy because we are used to the lifestyle of having sound. If you never had sound, what's there to miss?

I don't think being able to hear gives you a "better quality of life". It just gives you more options in life. It may or may not mean better quality. To me, life is such a fragile thing, a slight difference can make your life totally different. If that person wasn't deaf, he might be an pompous a**hole or he might be a famous rock star. Who knows!?
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Good post along with Steve and Vallee I think you guys got tot the heart of the issue.
Rick
 
I am happy as deaf but sometime unfortunate for me cannot hear my daughter's voice and other! :dunno2:
 
JennyB's paper sounds interesting. I was looking online for the new model of HA I'm getting next month, and I saw similar adverts. The slogans came across as cheesy and insulting to me.

For me, I get very frustrated when I can't understand speech when people are talking to me. That's the main thing for me- if I don't hear the phone ring, someone can leave a message and I'll get to it later- no bother for me- but if someone's talking to me and I can't follow a conversation/instructions (when I used to work) it makes me feel less intelligent. I know that's not true, but I feel it all the same.

Right now, it's Sunday afternoon, and I haven't worn my HAs today (the left one doesn't seem to be working properly so I went to the audio and they are giving me new ones in a month)- I've been sat in bed reading on the internet, and eating lunch, and talking briefly to my parents, I don't feel the need to use up the batteries for this. If I was in a noisy conversation with lots of background noise I would struggle immensely even with my HAs.

An old housemate once asked me if my depression was caused by 'my hearing'. I looked at her like she was an alien!

I guess, I feel more frustration than anything relating to happiness. Since my left HA is not working properly, I have more trouble than usual following conversation. Not being able to understand what someone has said when talking to me, or mishearing it as something else, frustrates me immensely, especially when I'm wearing my HAs. Hopefully the new ones will help with this, I'm told they will be better and a new type of earmould versus slimtubes will stop me from missing things in conversation.

This makes me think of posts JennyB has written stating that she uses sign language most of the time to communicate. I don't know any sign language nor do any of my friends (other than ones I've made on here) or family so I can't use that to communicate. Sometimes I wish people WOULD write things down for me when I'm having trouble; the problem for me is that sometimes, in the same situations, I can hear what's said, and other times I can't, so I don't know when it's needed.

So, I guess, I'm frustrated, and curious- I want to know what the world is like for fully hearing people- but at the same time it would probably overwhelm me, but I wouldn't say I'm unhappy directly due to my hearing loss. If I'm unhappy about it at all, it's because people don't understand or do things which they previously agree to do, to make it easier for me to understand them.
 
Thanks Shel great post

What better thing to think about on a Sunday morning? I have learned in my life to be grateful that whatever is happening is not worse. Kind of a sliding scale approach to it all. Not like lala land or something, just real is okay.
I have accepted and know for a fact that my life is not to be a smooth one. Sometimes it gets me down and I just want to stop awhile not forever just a while. Forever will come all too soon. But I do try and take personal timeouts
and this does help for me. Even in my timeouts stuff happens so it is kind of a self illusion but it works for me. I changed my whole outlook several years ago to look at life like it is a journey, I have goals you bet, but I don't let myself lose track of the fact that I will pass and all this will pass and it is really likely that I will be forgotten in a couple of generations anyway. I struggle with things like trying not to get pissed off at dumbass stuff and cruel people, it is in my nature to rage and yell at it all, to fight everything. That I do not do that is because I restrain myself. I smile and laugh and try to understand things and be supportive of people. You notice the hearing is not in what I am talking about? It is an obstacle in a life that if it was not that it would and will be something else or that and worse so I better keep smiling. You are all awesome, I love you this morning. Thank you!
 
If by happiness, you mean my day to day mood, I grow fatigued and that effects my mood at the time. I've learned to be more patient with myself.

My happiness with my life and over time is the same as when I was hearing. After the adjustment, I bounced back and I enjoy life. I'm happy that I get to be a part of the deaf community and meet some really great people.

Bott, losing my hearing effected my speech, even though it was later in my life. I wasn't pronouncing "L" either. I've made a conscious effort to change it but I'm sure that I get sloppy when I'm tired.

Adamsmomma, I like your attitude. Your son is very lucky to have such a compassionate, caring mother.

I get what I call the "funeral face" when I meet a person and tell them that I'm deaf. In my case, it's genetic. One guy even told me how lucky I was that cancer didn't run in my family and then proceeded to regale me with stories about his cancer-ridden family. Fun times.
 
for me, I tend to be very optimistic person. Try to find happiness in what is now, try to not create my own suffering by saying, I wish it wasn't like such and such, or - that was so terrible, am never going there again. It already happened, can't change it. That is not to say am "perfect". I am learning, learning . And, is not to say that if I have experience at some place that isn't useful for me, that I just "let it go", if there my food was cold, or someone said something that was hurtful - it's just that, I can't change THEM. I can only change myself and how I approach something. I can't be attached to an outcome, only try to share how I felt about a situation, and what the other party does with it is up to them.
In no way do I think "hearing equals happiness". I think happiness is being content within oneself. So there are many ways to be happy. There are many ways to Be.
I've always been "different", out of "mainstream". Losing my hearing is another way of that, is all. Speech has never come easily to me, that's not new.
Love is the greatest gift. Honor that and one honors oneself as well as others.
 
Yes, you can't change other people- you can only be responsible for yourself. I don't know if hearing = happiness for me, but I can say that understanding communication from other people towards me, makes my life a lot easier.

Happiness as an abstract concept is another thing entirely. I agree with dogmom, the ways to be content with yourself vary. The author Michael Brown states that we should aim just to 'be', and that true joy is feeling everything.

I do get attached to outcomes, but at least I can recognise it, and I'm learning. I have a lot to let go of.
 
I am happy to have cochlear implant to change my attitude. I wasn't accept being deafness. The hearing aids are not help me to hear better. I wasn't proud of myself without CI. I wasn't able to understand people's voice, music, enivorment, baby crying, noise without HA and CI. It made me frustrate and emotion. I felt bore when I can't hear the music. My previous HA was limited on sound. I can understand a few word dog's barking, yell, loud music and not at all. CI is helping me to hear in unlimited sound. I am happy to be deaf with CI. CI made me happiness life!
 
From dogmon:



In no way do I think "hearing equals happiness". I think happiness is being content within oneself.

I definitely agree and that's the motto I live by. :D
 
Interesting thread and good points by several of you.

It is true that happiness is what one makes of it regardless of the circumstances. If I had gone totally deaf with no option to hear again, I would adapt eventually. This doesn't mean I wouldn't struggle or get frustrated about the situation. I have had hearing (either with a HA or CI) all my life. Therefore, I'm very plugged into the hearing world. To miss that would be for me akin to though who were hearing and then lose it at some point. The main reason I say that is that I have been able to "do as the Romans do" in their world. I have fought too long and too hard to easily give that up. Since I have gotten my CI some 4 1/2 years ago, I have been able to reclaim my place again (the world I was comfortable in). Lest some misunderstand me...I'm not a fool to think having a CI cures me of the fact that I'm deaf now (especially now since my CI surgery). That I am and forevermore will be. But now, I can have my cake and eat it too.

Unlike some of you, I'm with Shi-Ku about having the opportunity to have a means to offset or makeup for the lack or impairment of a sense or limb. I would take it and run with it. I did that with my CI and what an adventure it turned out to be. I did it because I knew what I was missing. Also, I think it is much harder for one who has experience it than one who has never experienced it.
 
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