Gossip

armymech81

armymech81

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I know that it is part of the deaf world. I had a chat with a lot deaf ppl and have many deaf friends and everything. I enjoy the deaf culture and the deaf is a lot more friendly then the hearing world. Only thing that pisses me off is the gossip I catch every once in a while. Even if it is from one of my wife's soo called friends or if other ppl I talk to outside of AD. I had chats in person and through IM, and if you start to bad talk someone, I will tell the other person abt what you said. Some times, I will tell you to stop talking bad, depending how long you talk abt it. It just not right, and if you have a problem with me, I want you to tell me, not hear it from 50 different ppl abt your problem with me. I am a very nice person and can get along with, but I don't like gossip, it ruins friendships and is real stupid. Sorry if this gets anyone's panties in a knot, just that is my pet pev. I don't play with gossip, I was raised to not play with it.
 
Just try to change subjects if you can.

When I am at deaf events/gatherings (which both are rare) and one tries to gossip to me about other deaf people whether or not I know them, I try to change subjects. Sometimes it worked.

This is one of several reasons why I don't invite my hearing friends to deaf events/gatherings.
 
I was raised to play with it and enjoy witchhunt w/you... Is allow?








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I second w/you I don't agree more with crap gossip.. but least make sure if it's FACT... fine w/me espically not FACT then isn't my storybook peroid!
 
Speaking of gossip, what about butting into people's businesses and then spreading it around? I grew up around hearing people and I missed out a lot on how they socialize and then started going to Gallaudet. Made several friends and then start noticing that people must know my business and then spreading it around. Here is one example:

I got a part time job at a deaf group home 3 years ago working on the weekends. I didnt want people to know yet cuz I was in a dispute with my ex husband at the time and I didnt want him to use my working 2 jobs as a reason to take my daughter away from me so I wanted to keep low about it. Anyways, this girl who used to work there kept asking my coworker (she promised to keep quiet too) who got the weekend shift. My coworker refused to tell her but this girl was stubborn. Then she asked me if I got the job ..kept paging me and aiming me. I kept ignoring her. Finally, after a month, she somehow found out from other people. HOW??? Do this day, NO idea!!! Well, not only she snooped around, she even emailed me bawling me out for not telling her and lying to her. Whoa!! It was none of her f***cking business! She said I betrayed her. I wasnt even friends with her...just someone I met at the group home before she quit. She spread the word around telling people that I was the one who got the job. I was so shocked and my co worker told me that is very common in the deaf community. I told her whether it is common or not, that is wrong and I refuse to become like that!

Sure I gossip but only for good news and I dont poke into people's businesses.
I dont understand that kind of behavior.
Maybe hearing people do it too but due to not being able to hear what goes around me, I would never know unless I ask.
 
gossip is gossip, regardless if we are deaf or hearing - and the fact of the matter is, humans love drama! It is a simple fact of humanity, whether we wish to accept it or not. some of us do not act on it much, while some of us do. this whole idea does fascinate me, I mean we aren't bad people or anything, we are simply human. woot!
 
dorky ari said:
gossip is gossip, regardless if we are deaf or hearing - and the fact of the matter is, humans love drama! It is a simple fact of humanity, whether we wish to accept it or not. some of us do not act on it much, while some of us do. this whole idea does fascinate me, I mean we aren't bad people or anything, we are simply human. woot!
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yea, love drama but to the point where it can mess up people's lives? I mean I was trying to keep my business away from my ex husband for my protection and people want to mess that up? That is just plain disrespect to me.

Gossip if it doesnt hurt or mess up people's lives is fine but I guess some people dont know where to draw the line. :rl:
 
The gossip (the bad ones, that is) only can tarnish the reputation which isn't good at all.
 
zxvasdf said:
what a stupid generalizaton. what is reputation? if your reputation s not good, you probably aren't good to begin with because if you were nice and decent, people would have mostly good things to say about you.
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That is not true all the time. My wife is a very caring and nice person. She loves to help other ppl. But we have catch rumors abt her all cause she couldn't help another person or we didn't have the funds to visit someone. They thought it was cause she was trying to be snobish so they started their gossip abt my wife.
 
armymech81 said:
I know that it is part of the deaf world.
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It's also part of the hearing world.
armymech81 said:
I had a chat with a lot deaf ppl and have many deaf friends and everything. I enjoy the deaf culture and the deaf is a lot more friendly then the hearing world.
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Agreed.
armymech81 said:
Only thing that pisses me off is the gossip I catch every once in a while. Even if it is from one of my wife's soo called friends or if other ppl I talk to outside of AD. I had chats in person and through IM, and if you start to bad talk someone, I will tell the other person abt what you said. Some times, I will tell you to stop talking bad, depending how long you talk abt it. It just not right, and if you have a problem with me, I want you to tell me, not hear it from 50 different ppl abt your problem with me. I am a very nice person and can get along with, but I don't like gossip, it ruins friendships and is real stupid. Sorry if this gets anyone's panties in a knot, just that is my pet pev. I don't play with gossip, I was raised to not play with it.
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Agreed here too.

Gossip is harmful to anyone. :ugh:
 
gnulinuxman said:
It's also part of the hearing world.:ugh:
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I know it is part of the hearing world, but I find that a lot more gossip in the deaf culture then in the hearing world. I get a chance to slip in and out of both worlds. I talk to all my hearing friends, I don't hear a lot of gossip, but when I slip back into the deaf culture, I catch a lot of "did you hear..." or "so-so was with.." or stuff along that line. It mostly putting ppl down.
 
zxvasdf said:
what a stupid generalizaton. what is reputation? if your reputation s not good, you probably aren't good to begin with because if you were nice and decent, people would have mostly good things to say about you.
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It doesn't matter how good or bad the reputation is, The point is - gossip can be harmful but yet as a human being, we all do feed off from the gossip whether we realize it or not.
 
shel90 said:
yea, love drama but to the point where it can mess up people's lives? I mean I was trying to keep my business away from my ex husband for my protection and people want to mess that up? That is just plain disrespect to me.

Gossip if it doesnt hurt or mess up people's lives is fine but I guess some people dont know where to draw the line. :rl:
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Agreed, shel. And yes, all people gossip, deaf or hearing. Usually the one who spreads the gossip has a nuerotic need to feel that they are better than someone else by pointingout the other person's faults or indiscretions. "Look at what HE did!" means you aren't looking at what I did.

Sad that some people can't feel good about themselves any other way. Best just to ignore them. When you don't react to the gossip, they don't get any feelingof power from having spread it. Then they will eventually stop.
 
I don't like gossip either. I have not been heard deaf people in about 16 yrs. That is long time for me. I live in small town and there are gossip too. Small world. I just stay out of it. Both hearing and deaf are the same way to gossip.
People just cannot shut up.
 
armymech81 said:
I know that it is part of the deaf world. I had a chat with a lot deaf ppl and have many deaf friends and everything. I enjoy the deaf culture and the deaf is a lot more friendly then the hearing world. Only thing that pisses me off is the gossip I catch every once in a while. Even if it is from one of my wife's soo called friends or if other ppl I talk to outside of AD. I had chats in person and through IM, and if you start to bad talk someone, I will tell the other person abt what you said. Some times, I will tell you to stop talking bad, depending how long you talk abt it. It just not right, and if you have a problem with me, I want you to tell me, not hear it from 50 different ppl abt your problem with me. I am a very nice person and can get along with, but I don't like gossip, it ruins friendships and is real stupid. Sorry if this gets anyone's panties in a knot, just that is my pet pev. I don't play with gossip, I was raised to not play with it.
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Yeah... gossips does occurs in the deaf world and same thing in the hearing world... i hanged around with hearies.. they even gossiped about other hearies... one problem is that deaf world is small and hearing world is huge...
 
SxyPorkie said:
Yeah... gossips does occurs in the deaf world and same thing in the hearing world... i hanged around with hearies.. they even gossiped about other hearies... one problem is that deaf world is small and hearing world is huge...
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Yea..good point there. :ty:
 
Gossip can be either negative or positive.. but I don't like the kind that is malicious, like many of you. Sometimes I just laugh at some of the silly gossip. I don't see them as a big deal. Like my mother in law phoned just about everyone she knew about me getting hearing aids... she acted like me having the hearing aids were permanent, but the true story was that i were only testing them for a month to see whether I liked them or not! but it was really harmless gossip and she was so happy to have a reason to get in touch with people. :) And she's hearing...
 
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