giving up on asl

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jasin said:
My asl professor is screwing me over and wont give me any extra credit for extra credit work i've done, she is playing favortism, and the college I goto wont give me an interpreter. Plus I get no help from anyone until its to late, so I screw up on some signs I am trying to learn. Oh and the deaf people I know are of no help, they either treat me like i'm an idiot or an alien.

It really sucks, I'm thinking of just going back to 100% oralism, reading lips, and doing the best with the little I can still hear.

This has got me depressed. :cry:
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oh dear! don't give up... i learned asl at a late age, and like shel, i was "snubbed" when i tried to join a group of asl users or join in a conversation.... they either had no patience or snubbed me...

i didn't give up... it took me a while to learn and become fluent... if we can do it, then you can too!!! :thumb:
 
shel90 said:
I went thru something like that with the deaf community when I first started learning ASL. I tried socializing with them but they either had no patience or snubbed me. I do not understand that cuz it seems that many deaf people r helpful when hearing r learning ASL but not as helpful towards deaf/hoh people learning it. Makes me wonder why?

...
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I think it has to do with expectations. It is "expected" that deaf/hoh know sign. no matter what. Snobbery at its best...
 
Don't give up! From what I've read it's a lot harder to learn to voice than to learn ASL. Are there any local Deaf clubs or events you could go to? I have a teacher who uses PSE and it really helps you to pick up the language quicker. Keep looking for a mentor, someone to encourage you! Good luck!
 
Mentors are good, friends are also very good!
Please don't give up ... I am born hard-of-hearing, am a horrible speechreader, and have had a very late start with learning ASL (age 37). Why so late? My first encounter with signing was a signed-English class my mom signed me up for back in high school. Because I just couldn't understand what the teacher was signing (and the other students, all hearing, understood it easily), I just thought that I was bad at signing and gave up! Then, almost 4 years ago, a friend DRAGGED me to an ASL class. Wow, this variety of signing was SO much better!
But yes, there are times when I am ready to throw tantrums of jealousy over the born-deafies who are fluent because they grew up signing, and I wonder if I will EVER become anywhere near that fluent. So, my signing buddies are two other ASL beginners: a deaf woman who grew up oral, and a late-deafened woman who is as bad at speechreading as I am (we met in speechreading class!). I keep them afloat, they keep me afloat. It makes a huge difference.
 
KimS. said:
Mentors are good, friends are also very good!
Please don't give up ... I am born hard-of-hearing, am a horrible speechreader, and have had a very late start with learning ASL (age 37). Why so late? My first encounter with signing was a signed-English class my mom signed me up for back in high school. Because I just couldn't understand what the teacher was signing (and the other students, all hearing, understood it easily), I just thought that I was bad at signing and gave up! Then, almost 4 years ago, a friend DRAGGED me to an ASL class. Wow, this variety of signing was SO much better!
But yes, there are times when I am ready to throw tantrums of jealousy over the born-deafies who are fluent because they grew up signing, and I wonder if I will EVER become anywhere near that fluent. So, my signing buddies are two other ASL beginners: a deaf woman who grew up oral, and a late-deafened woman who is as bad at speechreading as I am (we met in speechreading class!). I keep them afloat, they keep me afloat. It makes a huge difference.
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Iam born deaf and I didn't learn ASL until I was 28 and now iam going to be 35 soon. Still don't sign like the native signers. Wonder if I ever will..who knows?
 
shel90 said:
I went thru something like that with the deaf community when I first started learning ASL. I tried socializing with them but they either had no patience or snubbed me. I do not understand that cuz it seems that many deaf people r helpful when hearing r learning ASL but not as helpful towards deaf/hoh people learning it. Makes me wonder why?

I agree with Reba..don't give up. Smile
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I can see that. It must make you feel awful. Although there are some deaf people that look down on or feel that ASL is not necessary. While more Deaf people see it as a major part of who they are. They must make the assumption that you felt it is not necessary. Or that you felt that way most of your life but are kinda coming around to it.
I look at it similarly to when we visited the reservation on one of our many trips years ago. My dad is Native American. My skin color and beard do not show this. My eyes, cheek bones, nose and lips do. Slap a tan on me and then I look it. I was picked on in school, called “chink” “spik” “gook” “mook” “wet back” “coffee bean” “A-rab” and “kike” For those who don’t know these words, (or if I spelled them wrong LOL), these are all racial epitaphs and derogatory terms for various Asian, Latin, Middle Eastern, and Jewish groups. The kids would also play, “what race does southern look today” I look enough “not white” for me to be picked on…. But when I go to the reservation I am seen as white. We went up one year and visited the museum. They had just renovated. I got my ticket and was very excited and was trying to talk to the lady giving me the ticket. She interrupted me and said, “the line forms over there” and gave me a disgusted look. Then my aunt came right behind me. My aunt with her jet black hair, black eyes, dark skin and same bone structure as me…. The lady giving the tickets face lit up, big smile came across her face. She said, “oh have you been in yet it is so wonderful. Grand father, (the Cherokee term for god) has been great in his blessings to us. We just…” I interrupted her and said, “come on aunt Linda!” the ticket woman turned quickly to me with the look of shock on her face. I said, “yes she is my aunt, the same blood runs through our veins. Funny how you treat her different with her dark skin, I guess I am not INDIAN enough for you!” my aunt gave her a dirty look and we walked on, stepping over the woman’s jaw.
I think it is the same here, you are not “Deaf enough” for them because you do not know or are late to learning ASL. Certain things are expected and that is one of them. The only difference is your choice on when, or whether to learn. I cannot choose how my skin turned out, my brother got the dark skin. That’s okay he has all white features! LOL
 
Southern said:
I can see that. It must make you feel awful. Although there are some deaf people that look down on or feel that ASL is not necessary. While more Deaf people see it as a major part of who they are. They must make the assumption that you felt it is not necessary. Or that you felt that way most of your life but are kinda coming around to it.
I look at it similarly to when we visited the reservation on one of our many trips years ago. My dad is Native American. My skin color and beard do not show this. My eyes, cheek bones, nose and lips do. Slap a tan on me and then I look it. I was picked on in school, called “chink” “spik” “gook” “mook” “wet back” “coffee bean” “A-rab” and “kike” For those who don’t know these words, (or if I spelled them wrong LOL), these are all racial epitaphs and derogatory terms for various Asian, Latin, Middle Eastern, and Jewish groups. The kids would also play, “what race does southern look today” I look enough “not white” for me to be picked on…. But when I go to the reservation I am seen as white. We went up one year and visited the museum. They had just renovated. I got my ticket and was very excited and was trying to talk to the lady giving me the ticket. She interrupted me and said, “the line forms over there” and gave me a disgusted look. Then my aunt came right behind me. My aunt with her jet black hair, black eyes, dark skin and same bone structure as me…. The lady giving the tickets face lit up, big smile came across her face. She said, “oh have you been in yet it is so wonderful. Grand father, (the Cherokee term for god) has been great in his blessings to us. We just…” I interrupted her and said, “come on aunt Linda!” the ticket woman turned quickly to me with the look of shock on her face. I said, “yes she is my aunt, the same blood runs through our veins. Funny how you treat her different with her dark skin, I guess I am not INDIAN enough for you!” my aunt gave her a dirty look and we walked on, stepping over the woman’s jaw.
I think it is the same here, you are not “Deaf enough” for them because you do not know or are late to learning ASL. Certain things are expected and that is one of them. The only difference is your choice on when, or whether to learn. I cannot choose how my skin turned out, my brother got the dark skin. That’s okay he has all white features! LOL
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and also MUST come from a "deaf" family!!! :ugh:i have been through this so many times... some of them "snubbed" me because i was "hearing/oralist" learning to sign... it wasn't accepted in their "deaf-deaf" (known as the "deaf power") community! it is a MAJOR TURN OFF! :thumbd:-- it is a joke of the universe! because they are "discriminating" the people of the same cultere! :ugh:

i know some people and also have heard stories that the "deaf" community snubbed/snub them because they DIDN'T COME FROM HEARING FAMILY AND/OR ATTENDED GALLY! i just feel it is a PATHETIC excuse!!!

so i know how you feel ... people tend to judge by the looks, regardless! like judging a book by its cover! :ugh:
 
Southern said:
I can see that. It must make you feel awful. Although there are some deaf people that look down on or feel that ASL is not necessary. While more Deaf people see it as a major part of who they are. They must make the assumption that you felt it is not necessary. Or that you felt that way most of your life but are kinda coming around to it.
I look at it similarly to when we visited the reservation on one of our many trips years ago. My dad is Native American. My skin color and beard do not show this. My eyes, cheek bones, nose and lips do. Slap a tan on me and then I look it. I was picked on in school, called
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shel90 said:
Iam born deaf and I didn't learn ASL until I was 28 and now iam going to be 35 soon. Still don't sign like the native signers. Wonder if I ever will..who knows?
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so are you saying that you are an oralist? is your brother too? i recall somewhere in here you mentioned that speech lessons, mainstreamed classes/school, etc didn't work for him and that he attend a deaf school? please correct me if i am wrong...

so i am compelled to assume that he is a "pure" asl user? if that is the case, then how do YOU GUYS communicate?
 
Shel what is going with your response? LOL

Yeah i think she was and probably still is quite oral.

I have heard that referred to as strong Deaf, coming from a deaf family and you are deaf. The thing is that doesn't happen very often, it is kinda rare actually. I have met a man whose mother is Deaf, i am not sure about his father. He is Deaf and several of his syblings are Deaf or HOH. His wife is Deaf and his children range from Deaf, HOH and hearing. I guess those children would be extremely strong Deaf. Now i wonder along those guide lines if my best friend is strong Deaf because his older sister is Deaf. Wouldn't the same kind of apply that he had ASL in his home from before he was born and he was raised with it, and went to residental school?
 
Souther and FiestyChick

I grew up oral-only not knowing any ASL not ny choice. I didn't know any differently. I was mainstreamed in apublic school as the only deaf student out of my whole school until HS. I knew about sign language cuz of my brother but I was already brainwashed into that signing was for deaf people who weren't intelligent. Also, I wanted to be hearing so badly due to everyone's expectations of me functioning like a hearing person.

My brother is 4 years younger than me. Did the oral approach on him for 5 years after he was first diagnosed with deafness. He struggled with it but my parents and the specialists still felt he would pick it up eventually. By kindergarten, he still hasn't picked up on the skills and was put in the class at my school with no accodommations like I was. He had several temper tantrums and become more and more disruptive. So the school called him an oral-failure and referred him to the deaf school. That was when he started learning ASL.

However, at home he already had 5 years of using whatever speech and lipreading skills he had with me. I was the only one who cud understand him so I interpreted for himmyes..oral to oral to oral and then vice versa. Isn't that fucked up?

Anywyas..as my brother got older and started realizing that he is deaf and so was I. Also realized why can't I learn ASL too? He was in the 4th grade and I was in the 7th grade. He tried teaching me ASL but I refused to learn it cuz I was in complete denial about my deafness.

So, as I mentioned before I learned asl at ASU at 28 years old. That was the beginning of my journey into accepting my deafness and learning that with ASL, I can be fully involved in conversations, classroom lectures, and so forth. I don't know if u know the rest but where I am now, ASL is now my primary language that I use. I maybe use my oral and lipreading skills about 5 % of the time. That part of my life as an oral only deaf person trying to identify with hearing people is over and I have NO desire to go back. Looking back, I was miserable growing up trying to be someone I couldn't be...a hearing person.

Now, I am happy with my life as a deaf person who uses ASL full time.

Hope that clears everything up.
 
jasin said:
My asl professor is screwing me over and wont give me any extra credit for extra credit work i've done, she is playing favortism, and the college I goto wont give me an interpreter. Plus I get no help from anyone until its to late, so I screw up on some signs I am trying to learn. Oh and the deaf people I know are of no help, they either treat me like i'm an idiot or an alien.

It really sucks, I'm thinking of just going back to 100% oralism, reading lips, and doing the best with the little I can still hear.

This has got me depressed. :cry:
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don't give up ! I know where you are coming from :hug: I am also late deafened / hard of hearing and I don't know sign but I would love to learn it . Also, English isn't my native language ! I learned English by myself not from 'special' teachers. Learning a language requires hard work at first but I am sure you will be succesful .
 
jillio said:
Repeat: don't give up. AND DON'T LISTEN TO NESMUTH!
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LOL you are right.. i met him in person... he uses ASL... but he loves to insult deafies...... he is nothing but asshole hehehe...
 
I teach an ASL class. I encourage students to do a group study. I would encourage you to try to find a buddy in your class and practice with this person.

Take your buddy to the deaf gathering (coffee Club or whatever) and try to find a person with similar skill and some deaf who have more understanding. Believe me there are a lot of deaf with understanding. This includes me :0)
 
I started back using sign. Its still very hard for me and most deafs do not accept me. I try to sign in sov and ov which is still correct and valid Asl but I mess up a lot and my signing comes out more like signed English. I don't really want to mix with deafs anymore because of this. Its wrong that I have to be treated like this. I was raised orally, but there is a disassociation with talking in our culture as its not signing and a long time ago it was physically forced on many deafs. In the 80s I had it forced on me. Many dont know this but I was actually expiermented on. Doctors were studying deafness and I was one of the lab rats. They put metal rods in my ears all the way into my middle ear. I probably could of sued them for that, but it was all medical and done at an army hospital so I wouldn't of gotten far. Plus, I would of had to of sued through my parents as I was a child. I'm a happy person but I have suffer all my life. I live in pain every single day because of many, many medical problems. I wish I did not have to suffer, but that's life I guess. So I guess that's my story of late. Please do not judge.
 
highlands said:
don't give up ! I know where you are coming from :hug: I am also late deafened / hard of hearing and I don't know sign but I would love to learn it . Also, English isn't my native language ! I learned English by myself not from 'special' teachers. Learning a language requires hard work at first but I am sure you will be succesful .
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I'm not sure that I am late deafened because I was born with a problem that made me deaf at age 1. I did grow up hard of hearing very soon latter after that though because I was raised oral, had very big hearing aids, and had many different ear surgeries. I am deaf again now but not full deaf or stone deaf. Deaf is deaf in my opinion though.
 
so deaf people can be just as big of jerks as hearing folk
 
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