Getting knocked at door.....

dereksbicycles

dereksbicycles

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My girlfriend has a friend who is deaf and autistic. You know what it is being with people that are autistic sometimes. Well, this morning, that person who was deaf/autistic knocked on my girlfriend's Mom's door at 7:30 am to drop off cookies. It was an unannounced visit. They weren't expecting her. My girlfriend and her Mom are both upset that person would think to come at 7:30 am in morning waking both of them.

My girlfriend talked to this woman's Mom for advice on this. The Mom said to be happy that the friend wants to drop off cookies. Don't worry about the fact it was 7:30 am. It was 9 am my girlfriend's time verus 6 am the woman's Mom time when my girlfriend texted her. So therefore, the Mom was upset too.

My girlfriend was upset that this woman's Mom seemed to be insensitive to my girlfriend's feeling.

Personally, if someone knocked at my door unannounced at 7:30 am to drop off cookies, I would probably be upset too. I would probably have told her, I do not want the cookies. Come back later, ok?


Looks like it is overblown.
 
I don't even get up at 7:30 am. So no one would be answering my door.

However, if anyone wanted to bring hot pizza and Coca Cola to my door at around 10:30 am, I would be happy to see them.
 
If I didn't invite you, I don't answer. I can be a little grumpy from time to time. Speaking of door knocking and grumpy-ness... how in the world do these signing Jehovah Witnesses find us Deaf people?!?! Everywhere we have lived... they find us. We respectfully declined but I came about three seconds from calling the police on them after they knocked the second time. Our community has very clear no soliciting signs all over as well as I have one on my screen door.
 
we must be blessed when got friends and fact she autistic is double honour that you are her friends..if she knocking everyday then ypur mum got point but girl dont and it unfair to give brush off..i afraid your mum need some lesson how and why girl do this..plus she kind girl do this
 
Accept the cookies graciously. Then, calmly, clearly explain that most people have a "9-to-9" rule. That means, no unannounced visits before 9 a.m. or after 9 p.m.

If no one explains that to her, she'll never learn what's acceptable behavior.

There's no reason to get in a tizzy about it.
 
NitroHonda said:
If I didn't invite you, I don't answer. I can be a little grumpy from time to time. Speaking of door knocking and grumpy-ness... how in the world do these signing Jehovah Witnesses find us Deaf people?!?! Everywhere we have lived... they find us. We respectfully declined but I came about three seconds from calling the police on them after they knocked the second time. Our community has very clear no soliciting signs all over as well as I have one on my screen door.
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HA.............I had some of the JW stop by MULTIPLE times b/c they had heard I was dhh and wanted me to join their congreation even thou I wear pants, am a college graduate and am GAY.
 
deafdyke said:
HA.............I had some of the JW stop by MULTIPLE times b/c they had heard I was dhh and wanted me to join their congreation even thou I wear pants, am a college graduate and am GAY.
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Maybe they really just wanted to give you some home-made cookies.
 
Autistic people do not have normal social skills. She most likely does not understand that bringing over cookies at 7:30am, waking people up, isn't acceptable. I work with autistic people and am a little dis-heartened that your girlfriend and her Mom are so upset about this. Please encourage them to thank her for bringing the cookies, and that they very much appreciate her kindness.

dereksbicycles said:
My girlfriend has a friend who is deaf and autistic. You know what it is being with people that are autistic sometimes. Well, this morning, that person who was deaf/autistic knocked on my girlfriend's Mom's door at 7:30 am to drop off cookies. It was an unannounced visit. They weren't expecting her. My girlfriend and her Mom are both upset that person would think to come at 7:30 am in morning waking both of them.

My girlfriend talked to this woman's Mom for advice on this. The Mom said to be happy that the friend wants to drop off cookies. Don't worry about the fact it was 7:30 am. It was 9 am my girlfriend's time verus 6 am the woman's Mom time when my girlfriend texted her. So therefore, the Mom was upset too.

My girlfriend was upset that this woman's Mom seemed to be insensitive to my girlfriend's feeling.

Personally, if someone knocked at my door unannounced at 7:30 am to drop off cookies, I would probably be upset too. I would probably have told her, I do not want the cookies. Come back later, ok?


Looks like it is overblown.
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NitroHonda said:
If I didn't invite you, I don't answer. I can be a little grumpy from time to time. Speaking of door knocking and grumpy-ness... how in the world do these signing Jehovah Witnesses find us Deaf people?!?! Everywhere we have lived... they find us.
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Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!! They found you, too?!

Ahh, s*... You mean they somehow have a list of deaf people living in the area, and they try to come after us, thinking we are easy prey???

It's ALWAYS those people. ALWAYS!!! Never Baptist, never Mormon, nor Swedenborgian nor Amish people for that matter. Jehovah Witnesses. I get steamed to no end when they come to my door. I like to tell them as soon as I hear the Jesus speech:

"Listen folks... I'm 46 years old... Don't you think I would have found religion a long time ago? Why do you think you can convert me? First of all, you don't even know me nor what my worldview is, and by the way, be careful about fishing for weaknesses to use to your advantage, because you can't use them. I am CAVE WOMAN in my beliefs. It is a long story, and I'm not getting into it today. Good day."

:locked:
 
deafdyke said:
HA.............I had some of the JW stop by MULTIPLE times b/c they had heard I was dhh and wanted me to join their congreation even thou I wear pants, am a college graduate and am GAY.
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Did you ever find out how they find out about deaf people? It sounds like they are actively fishing for converts. This is like the Crusades. Only killing and torture is no longer allowed. How they even successfully get a convert is beyond me.
 
AMazieLN said:
Autistic people do not have normal social skills. She most likely does not understand that bringing over cookies at 7:30am, waking people up, isn't acceptable. I work with autistic people and am a little dis-heartened that your girlfriend and her Mom are so upset about this. Please encourage them to thank her for bringing the cookies, and that they very much appreciate her kindness.
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That is quite possible. I had to be taught by family members after graduating from high school that I had to ask family for permission to use their pool at their house before going over, because there were the issues of privacy and boundaries at hand here. I felt so bad when I realized this and in fact became upset because I wasn't taught this long before this. It was like, "Why in hell didn't you tell me about this rather than go through all this and then tell me after the fact???" This was directed at my stepmother and Dad. This was a rough upbringing for me.

She needs to be taught the same as everyone else, since they do NOT GET IT. I'm not autistic, but for a long time, I didn't get it, and sometimes I don't on new things and eventually learn from it.
 
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deafdrummer said:
Did you ever find out how they find out about deaf people? It sounds like they are actively fishing for converts. This is like the Crusades. Only killing and torture is no longer allowed. How they even successfully get a convert is beyond me.
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I can recognize them (dressed in churchy dress-up type clothes :lol:) so I avoid answering the door if I see them coming up the driveway. :giggle: One time, though, they surprised me and what I did *not* like is they lied about who they were, using words to make me think they were associated with the local Deaf Community Center and saying they had a "new program" for the Deaf or HOH. So I listened to them...*until* they got to the details of this "new program" -- Bible study in sign! And only after trying to suck me in, did they identify themselves as JWs. :roll: I said no thank you and told them next time to be honest and upfront about who they were first. :eek3:
 
AMazieLN said:
Autistic people do not have normal social skills. She most likely does not understand that bringing over cookies at 7:30am, waking people up, isn't acceptable. I work with autistic people and am a little dis-heartened that your girlfriend and her Mom are so upset about this. Please encourage them to thank her for bringing the cookies, and that they very much appreciate her kindness.
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Why should the woman be enabled just because she is autistic ?? My niece has aspergers and I do not treat her any difference than other people. The girlfriend and her mother has every rights to feel the way they do. And the woman that has autistic is never going to learn social skills when her mother enabled her too and treat her like a child.
 
Aspergers is different than Autism, although it is similar. Autistic individuals can usually not ever learn social norms. Try all you like, but you'll probably just lose a friend and waste your time.

whatdidyousay! said:
Why should the woman be enabled just because she is autistic ?? My niece has aspergers and I do not treat her any difference than other people. The girlfriend and her mother has every rights to feel the way they do. And the woman that has autistic is never going to learn social skills when her mother enabled her too and treat her like a child.
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I am really bad- I never move my butt when I don't want to, knock all you want.
7:30 in the morning? puh-leese!! :roll: I wouldn't bother....

Fuzzy
 
if you have bacon or cookies, I dont care if you knock on my door at 3am...I will gladly get up and accept said bacon or cookies
 
I work with teenagers (16-19 yr olds) with autism (AS and ASD and Autism is DIFFERENT!), out of 19 of them not one of them have concept of time! Even one of them is precise with his time routine. Their autism traits vary between them. Some are obsessed with routine. If their routine breaks they go into a huge meltdown, some can cope with it and is improving every day as long they know what's happening in advance, some needs a lot of time for them to register that it's not a big deal.

If the problem is every morning, I would seek her mother/ or the carer (is she supposed to be cared for?) for some advice on how to deal with it rather getting the young person anxious/upset. If the carer/mother approves, a clear simple note on the door saying NAME STOP and go home, introduce her to the sign first with the help of carer/mother in presence, explaining in plain simple English/ASL or whatever mode of language she uses, if she could read that, hopefully she will stop there and go home. It can be in PECS form or Simple symbols form. A photo of herself placed next to her first name (or a preferred name).

Autistic kids/young persons/adults TAKES time to register the concept of situation.

If it's once in blue moon, get over it and move on! Life is short to get upset over small thing.
 
Maybe get a mean dog and no one will knock on yo door at 7:30am.. :lol: even autistic ppl are scared of them,I sure.
 
One way to deal with someone knocking on your door- get them to WRITE OUT exactly what they "want". Saying " I am DEAF and don't "understand"!
Not too many people will write exactly what they have spoken-previously.
 
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