Does this offend you

[TXgolfer]

Below is a post from another thread. Several members found it offensive. Some did not. My intention here is not to have posters from the other thread rehash the debate here. But rather to gain an understanding of how our GLBT members feel about this comment and others like it.

My intent is not to offend anyone here and I apologize in advance if my thread offends anyone. I am hoping to build a dialog since posters in the other thread are split.

If you posted in the other thread I will ask (although I can't require) that you refrain from posting in this thread as it is intended merely to gain insight from our GLBT members.

In fairness I will not include my thoughts here either.

Here is the post

AllDeaf.com - View Single Post - Health Care to "control the people"

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Wirelessly posted

No.

But that's because I am stellar at deflecting homosexual jokes when people tease me about me "having the queer eyes."

 

[TXgolfer]

Wirelessly posted

No.

But that's because I am stellar at deflecting homosexual jokes when people tease me about me "having the queer eyes."

I didn't know you were GLBT.

 

[naisho]

No.

That is my opinion.
The spat is between the two of them, leaving this bias out of the question. Although knowing the poster's background kind of justifies the question. The homosexual reference (imo) is due to a specific line retained in the quote.

Psychology or actually, I think the term is reverse psychology in this case, congregates from reading lines of human behavior stemming from interactions like these. Point above all is that it is the internet though, and often times context can be interpreted differently.

 

[Jiro]

no. "Are you gay?" - a valid question.

look at his post. it's not where the line came from but how he SAID it and USED it. It's as if he's using Herbal Essence shampoo

 

[jillio]

In all fairness, in order to make a judgement regarding "offense" one needs to know the context in which the post was made, and the belief system of the individual regarding homosexuality. In other words, "Are you gay?" can be interpreted as an offensive question when asked by someone who is homophobic or intolerant of gay indivicuals. But when asked by someone accepting of, and one who embraces and supports those who live the lifestyle, the question is not offensive at all.

So, the question should actually be: If someone who accepts homosexuality as normal and not deviant asks if you are gay, and you are, would you be offended?

Or...

If you are homophobic and someone asks if you, or someone else is gay, would you be offended?

Unless the 2 situations are phrased in this way, one does not get an accurate answer, as one has asked the question in a completely biased manner in an attempt to get the response they want.

 

[TXgolfer]

no. "Are you gay?" - a valid question.

look at his post. it's not where the line came from but how he SAID it and USED it. It's as if he's using Herbal Essence shampoo

Thanks for honoring my request.

Are you saying GLBT say things or use things in a certain way? Sounds like a stereotype to me.

 

[TXgolfer]

In all fairness, in order to make a judgement regarding "offense" one needs to know the context in which the post was made, and the belief system of the individual regarding homosexuality. In other words, "Are you gay?" can be interpreted as an offensive question when asked by someone who is homophobic or intolerant of gay indivicuals. But when asked by someone accepting of, and one who embraces and supports those who live the lifestyle, the question is not offensive at all.

So, the question should actually be: If someone who accepts homosexuality as normal and not deviant asks if you are gay, and you are, would you be offended?

Or...

If you are homophobic and someone asks if you, or someone else is gay, would you be offended?

Unless the 2 situations are phrased in this way, one does not get an accurate answer, as one has asked the question in a completely biased manner in an attempt to get the response they want.

Thanks for honoring my request.

It seems someone who claims to be considerate of gay issues would not casually ask if someone were gay.

I will refrain from posting further in this thread and will wait to read the responses from out GLBT members.....After all it is their opinion that counts.

 

[jillio]

Thanks for honoring my request.

Are you saying GLBT say things or use things in a certain way? Sounds like a stereotype to me.

The stereotyping is being created by those intolerant of the GLTB population. Shame that you feel the need to attempt to get their support for your opinion after having expressed so many negative reactions to homosexuality. Isn't that known as two faced and manipulative?

 

[Jiro]

Thanks for honoring my request.

Are you saying GLBT say things or use things in a certain way? Sounds like a stereotype to me.

that's not an issue here. the issue is the context behind his post. It is meant to offend a certain poster.

example - A bully picking on this boy and performing a "doggy-style" move on him.

 

[jillio]

that's not an issue here. the issue is the context behind his post. It is meant to offend a certain poster.

example - A bully picking on this boy and performing a "doggy-style" move on him.

Right. Knowing that poster's feelings about homosexuality, it was obvious that a homosexual reference would be offensive to him. But only because he is homophobic. And the response I have gotten regarding that indicates that my assessment of only someone who is homophobic being offended by being asked if they were gay is being supported over and over again, not just in the original thread, but here, too.

Hey, Jiro! Remember when you asked me if I was sure I wasn't Korean when we were talking about food we liked? Should I have been offended that you would ask me that, and that you were stereotyping Koreans by the food they eat?

Same difference.

 

[TXgolfer]

that's not an issue here. the issue is the context behind his post. It is meant to offend a certain poster.

example - A bully picking on this boy and performing a "doggy-style" move on him.

Dang it....Have to respond to this.

So you are now saying it is ok to use a lifestyle that many cherish in order to pick on a bully?

The question is rhetorical of course since you said it clearly.....obviously our GLBT members are capable of going back to read the entire thread for context. In fact I invite them to.

 

[jillio]

I have a more appropriate question, and one that is directed at all persons, and not just the GLTB community.

To those who are straight, gay, lesbian, transgender, or bisexual....being well adjusted in your sexuality and comfortable with your identity, are you offended when asks "Are you gay, lesbian, straight, transgender, or bisexual?"

I'll start. I'm straight. I am not offended when asked if I am gay, or any other orientation. But then, I am comfortable with both my own sexuality, and the sexuality of others. I don't see differences as a threat to my idendity. And I think that is the issue here. Some see the question "Are you gay"? as a threatening and offensive thing simply because they are in some way, insecure in their own sexuality and threatened by those who are different in orientation.

 

[jillio]

Dang it....Have to respond to this.

So you are now saying it is ok to use a lifestyle that many cherish in order to pick on a bully?

The question is rhetorical of course since you said it clearly.....obviously our GLBT members are capable of going back to read the entire thread for context. In fact I invite them to.

They are not so fixated on the need to be offended by a simple question as to even need to go back and read the entire thread. Seems that you are fixated on the offensiveness of the homosexual. Let it go. It isn't contagious, and they won't try to convert you!

You have gotten several answers from people of varying sexual orientations. All have stated that they would not be offended by the question. Accept that you are wrong in this case, and let it go.

 

[TXgolfer]

Mighty defensive......looks like someone is trying to cover for themselves.

But I have confidence in the GLBT community here to see through them.

 

[jillio]

Mighty defensive......looks like someone is trying to cover for themselves.

But I have confidence in the GLBT community here to see through them.

The GLTB community has already spoken. As has the straight community. Only the homophobic are in any way offended by the question "Are you gay?"

But keep digging that hole for yourself.

It is frustrating when you ask a question you are so sure of and don't get the answer you want or expect, isn't it?

You know, I am offended by someone who has demonstrated definate homophobic tendency and discriminatory and prejudice thinking against gays that comes into a GLTB forum and attempts to manipulate answers from a group they don't even support. It's as if the assumption is being made that GLTB are so out of it that they can easily be maniuplated and used for the purpose of the smart and witty heterosexual. Or as if the GLTB community is not capable of recognizing insincereity and two facedness when it is being presented to them. Now that is offensive.

 

[Beowulf]

No, TXgolfer, I wasn't offended. I am straight but I am sure my gay friends wouldn't be offended either. I think they will more likely feel offended that you joked about making threats of physical and emotional violence to a tree.

 

[Tousi]

TXGolfer, need a sgt-at-arms? I tell ya, some people.....

 

[saywhatkid]

This thread appears to be a blatant troll. Why not simply report the post as offensive? Perhaps you can have the poster removed from the forum. That would be a real coupe for the Conservatives members.

BTW, my sister is a lesbian. I don't find the comment offensive. Not sure she would either.

Now do your duty for the Conservative posse and REPORT THE OFFENSIVE POST!

 

[shel90]

This thread appears to be a blatant troll. Why not simply report the post as offensive? Perhaps you can have the poster removed from the forum. That would be a real coupe for the Conservatives members.

BTW, my sister is a lesbian. I don't find the comment offensive. Not sure she would either.

Now do your duty for the Conservative posse and REPORT THE OFFENSIVE POST!