Dealing with female patten baldness at 17?

Strong

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Hi everyone, as the title says it all, I am dealing with female pattern baldness. I know this forum is not the right website to discuss such a sensitive topic but I know you are such wonderful persons and I need your advice.



I'm only 17, turning 18 in a couple of weeks. To begin, my family has a history of baldness. Both my uncles lost all their hair at age 13 and of course this family curse is now set upon all my sisters. My first sister has lost most of her hair and you can see her scalp from any angle at which you are standing. It's really severe and she wears scarf to cover it when she goes out to school. She's 24. Now my second sister has miraculously thick hair and the reason why I mentioned "miraculously" is because when she was in high school (she's 21) she was severely bald just like how a man would have premature baldness. But somehow luck has gotten to her. Her hair has grown back thicker and she achieved that with determination by completely changing her diet.



However, I'm not so having much luck. I changed my diet to the way hers is now but I've not seen a slightest difference in my hair. You can now see scalp through the roots of my hair. I remembered this summer it was very emotionally painful and I used to have a "nervous breakdown" every day. Now I've come to accept to it and that life's too short to deal with it.



So I just decided to shave it all. I'm going to university in September 2013, so before that, I'll act upon that decision and wear a wig that's made out of real human hair. I was so happy and excited for this because after this, I would not have to watch my hair gradually fall out and becoming bald.



The problem is, I have talked to my mother - eventually she will have to know because she's my mother. I was having a seed of hope planted inside me but that only disappeared when she disagreed vehemently with the choice I made. She said, "so she (my sister) can deal with it and you can't?" I completely understand what she's talking about but this is not a family choice. This is my individual choice and has no relevance to what my sisters are going through.



Now because of her reaction, I am engulfed by the memories of the old days when I was having a breakdown (crying non-stop) on a regular basis. I have a bald patch at the back of my head and feel that no one would marry me with a balding head and not to mention, deafness (please I do not mean any offense at all).
 
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That sounds rough. Seems like something you have to decide how to handle it, in your own way, and it seems you've made that decision.

I am curious, though, about what the "diet change" consists of. What changes to the diet were made?
 
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DeafBadger said:
That sounds rough. Seems like something you have to decide how to handle it, in your own way, and it seems you've made that decision.

I am curious, though, about what the "diet change" consists of. What changes to the diet were made?

The diet is very abundant of protein, iron and fruits & vegetables. So basically it's a healthy diet.
 
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Sorry guys, but I fucking hate this. One time I was suicidal and I've dealt with that hardship, now it's coming back. Life's too short but my mom does not seem to support me in this difficult decision. She said that it will be one of your worst decisions ever in your life. I do not feel that way anymore considering you have to muster enough courage to actually do it! I'm almost to that point.

I don't know what to do now. I have a feeling that my family might "shun" me because I will be a bald female to which, of course, my family is not wont.
 
Would it be possible to get family counseling? It sounds like there is more going on here beyond the hair problem.

You will soon be 18 years old and can make whatever decisions about your hair (or lack of) that you want.

I hope your mom realizes before it's too late that she could be destroying a relationship forever over a surface situation. :(

If your family won't go to counseling with you please find some counseling for yourself, or at least a support group. There are other women with hair loss from various causes, so there probably is some kind of support group, at least on line if not in person. When my SIL had his leg amputated after an accident last year, he found the support group of amputees to be very helpful. They provided emotional and practical support.

I pray that you find a solution that will bring you peace and calm.
 
I agree with Reba about the counseling, and personally, I'd probably just shave it all off too. :D it's scarey, but it can actually look good :) My sister did it a few years ago, she tells me every now and then I should do it, that it'd look good on me. But disagreeing with you so strongly over it is really a little over the top......it's just hair, not like a tattoo on your forehead or something......
the hair you do have will grow back if you decide you want to try something else.
here's a pic of her after it grew in a lil bit

And it's not like you're not handling, you're just handling it in your own way, that's a good thing. If it makes you feel better, more confident and something that feels right for you then I say do it for you.
 

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ambrosia said:
I agree with Reba about the counseling, and personally, I'd probably just shave it all off too. :D it's scarey, but it can actually look good :) My sister did it a few years ago, she tells me every now and then I should do it, that it'd look good on me. But disagreeing with you so strongly over it is really a little over the top......it's just hair, not like a tattoo on your forehead or something......
the hair you do have will grow back if you decide you want to try something else.
here's a pic of her after it grew in a lil bit

And it's not like you're not handling, you're just handling it in your own way, that's a good thing. If it makes you feel better, more confident and something that feels right for you then I say do it for you.

Actually, all my sisters are dealing with the same issue so we can commiserate with each other. The notion of shaving it off has never entered my family's mind, so that's why my mention was a bit of shock to them.





Everything's fine in my family. My sisters have sparse hair on their heads but never had a thought of shaving it off. So perhaps that could be the reason why they didn't like my idea of shaving it off.





My hair will not grow back. Sorry I should have delved into the topic of female pattern baldness more to give you perspective. Female pattern baldness is a genetic condition in which a female would gradually go bald but not to the full extent that men actually have. Women's hair become so thin that their heads mimic that of a man's bald head.





So the reason why I want to shave it off now is because I don't have to worry anymore about watching myself going bald. Each time my hair grows back, it will be finer until I go completely bald (8 will go completely bald because the onset of this genetic issue started so early in my life - I was about 14 or 15).
 
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But somehow luck has gotten to her. Her hair has grown back thicker and she achieved that with determination by completely changing her diet.

I am sure your drs looked at your baldness problem at every angle,
but then again I had a share of quacks masquerading as "experts" in my own life SO MUCH,
I wouldn't be surprised if there was some vital thing regarding the diet and possible ANOTHER genetic condition linked to the hair loss but not being alopecia itself in your case, who knows.

If your sister was able to re-grow her hair due to the diet change,
what if
the root of the baldness is not the female baldness pattern but inability to digest something from the diet, or some severe food allergy?

Has it been looked at, investigated really carefully?
Like, it's know that for example, if you absorb too much Vit A you can have hair loss (but I am sure you already know that) - but, then, the real question is - what does CAUSE too much absorption of Vit A?? etc..

I think your idea of shaving your head is great!!! I always loved people who weren't afraid of taking the risk, standing out in a crowd and having an edge.
The world if full of average people! if you can be not one of them, more power to you!!
I bow to you, Strong!!
:bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

for you are one fierce lady !!! :) kudos to you, girl !!!

:h5:


tell your mom - "I know you love me and want only what's best for me.
But, please, trust me on this - this is what I need to do. That's who I am, Mum.
The wig is the way to go, Mum. I thank you for your love and care,
and love you back oodles , too! "

Fuzzy
 
I've seen several bald haired gals sit next to me at metro, bus, walk past me at food store, shopping at mall, I think they are unique and sexy. Nothing is wrong with gal with bald hair?! :hmm:

Maybe you should visit San Francisco, and you will see plenty of them here. :D
 
look huny what gone is gone what to come not here yet so you got live in the moment and this how things are your mum got accept your choise...anyhow i think bauld ladies look really hot these days and you are others say fiece lady....walk around my home town london so many ladies bauld no one look twice, shave it off
 
One thing I'd suggest, if you haven't already done so is make sure you've seen a few specialists (genetic, metabolic etc) because in some cases what appears to be familial female baldness is actaully a genetic condition (hormonal) which IS correctable.

Unfortunately in a lot of cases doctor's take the "easy road" and don't delve any deeper if there aren't any other readily apparent symptoms other than hair loss (ie weight is normal, circulation is normal etc).

If it does end up to be true early baldness and you're having emotional hardships from it, please do seek a counsellor who can help you work through issues (and maybe come up with some creative fashion work-arounds)
 
This is a big issue for men, but it is even tougher on women. However, aside from the fact that I think there will be a cure at some point, women have a very good option, weaves. Seriously, African-American women have been doing this forever and their hair looks good. Unfortunately, it is very expensive in some cases, but can be done more cheaply as well. I think you should consider it.

I lost my hair at 24, but it wasn't that big an adjustment for me because the hearing issues I have make that issue really minor when it comes to dating.

I know what you are going through, don't worry you'll be OK.
 
"changed her diet"

If she was eating less carbs now, it sounds like the issue could be with hormones. Carbs can have an impact on hormones for women, so you should see an endocrinologist about this.
 
Two quick things, I'd encourage you to see a dermatologist to clear you medically. You may have something going on that isn't impacted by diet but only a doctor who has your family history, and has tested you, can know about. My hair dresser mentioned a client that has a skin disease that called her hair to fall out. The doctor prescribed something and her hair grew back, although a different texture.

Secondly, I'd see a counselor. Going through this is incrediably isolating and you need an objective voice to deal with this condition and give you sound guidance.

Laura
 
After watching the movie "G.I. Jane"...I too was tempted to shave my head....not that I was growing bald, but my hair was oily and flat most of the time and the upkeep of it everyday for my job was really getting to me....

And one of my friends, basically like you, was slowly losing her hair and crying so much over it....found out it was some hair root problem she had....and eventually, she did start wearing wigs....even my older sister has very thin hair....

Women are vain about their hair, no doubt!...And I really think shaving ur head and wearing hoop ear rings is cool!....Along with some makeup also...

And I feel at age 17...you should be allowed to shave ur head if you want to...and if you're not happy with it, then try a wig.....

Most of all, sorry you are going thru this at such a young age....and ur mother is not being very supportive....if it were my daughter, she would be allowed to shave her head under these circumstances, and if finding out nothing could be done. about it...
 
My gtandmom always used a wig. I never realized it until I saw her on her death bed. Even then she was embaraassed about it. Men have it easier cuz shaving it all is moreacceptable. Do what makes you comfortable, not your mom
 
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