Deaf man not who's challenged

Miss-Delectable

Miss-Delectable

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Someone took time out to sit down and write to Dear Abby. I think it's decent of her. So what do you all think? I know at some point in you life the same thing happened to you as it did to this guy.

Do you agree or disagree with any aspect whatsoever at all with this? :naughty:


Deaf man not who's challenged

Apr. 19, 2004 12:00 AM


DEAR ABBY: I was at a dinner party recently. One of the guests, who was deaf, was ignored. Not once did anyone attempt to include him in the conversation.

After dinner I talked to him. He told me he is used to being ignored by hearing people at parties and hated attending them. He was there to please his wife, who is not deaf.

He spoke well and was good at lip-reading. He was intelligent, knowledgeable, and has a good job. He told me he would bring a good book to these gatherings if his wife didn't think it'd be rude.

Abby, how would you have handled this? I'm going to send your answer to every person I know.

- Shocked By
the Rudeness


DEAR SHOCKED: A gracious hostess tries her best to assure that all of her guests will have a good time, and facilitates conversation. If I had been the hostess, I would have spoken with the couple in advance and elicited some interesting facts about the man. Then I would have shared them with the rest of my guests, as well as the fact that he could lip-read.
 
abby must be joking! she has no knowledge of deaf culture. i bet some of you feel the same thing. :rofl:
 
how ironic someone would ask abby this.

At family gahterings at dinner table i always don't talk to them and have no clue what they're talking
 
Yeah, it's happened to me before -- but always brought a book along in case I got bored. I don't give a shit if hubby thinks it's rude, but he's shut up on this because he realised that I always am feeling left out and he does try to get me involved. It just doesn't do much. :P
 
First of all, Abby is 'tard and she know it. Secondly, I wonder why not that guy's wife to interpreting the convos for him or somehow drag people into conversation with her husband, I mean somehow stimulating conversation?

He was there to please his wife
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while that is gentleman's honor but it is pathetic at same time, his wife should have consider about his feelings or his enjoyment as well. If I have that situation with hearing gals, I would bring up the discussion with her about not being happy or somehow bring me into conversation or interpreting.. if she rather not then I leave for other gals who is willing to please me as much as I am willing to please her. That's way it will work out for both of us hence happy relationship and happy environment between us.

That's my opinion on this limited information, maybe there are much more going on than what it reveals to us right now.

Cheers!

Edit: Oh, I gotta say that "Shocked" won my respect for gave a thought about stranger like that guy which his wife surely don't.
 
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I've used to read alot of Abby's letters, and she does give pretty good advice, but not to all of them and about this one, it seems that she has no experience or knowledge about people with deafness or the deaf culture, so...her advice seems very poor and not too useful so better skip her advice and find somone more experienced with the deaf.
 
WaterRats13 said:
Yeah, it's happened to me before -- but always brought a book along in case I got bored. I don't give a shit if hubby thinks it's rude, but he's shut up on this because he realised that I always am feeling left out and he does try to get me involved. It just doesn't do much. :P
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sorry to hear that...I sometimes bring my gameboy in case I was bored lol and some people thought it was rude that I do that, but if it was, then why do other people not talk to me, eh? :roll: so screw 'em *starts playing his gameboy advance sp*
 
Yeah, it happens to me often. So I just bring a good book and sit in a corner like a mouse and read. Mum does her best to include me in conversations but I knew it's difficult for her. Who cares what the hearies think of the deaf when they chose to occupy themselves with something at those functions. ;)
 
I understand how he feels. My parents usually do that to me. I'm the only deaf person in the family and I don't see my family very often so we don't really socialize much when we're with other people. Sometimes, I feel a bit left out when they have friends over. When that happens, I usually avoid the converstations and go out with my friends instead, play games, or watch a movie.
 
wow that was so brief, not so helpful advice. she needs to have good explanation.
well, i think it's time that someone, whos deaf, needs to write a letter to "dear abby" regarding advice. write about our real feeling and give out better advice. im sure she will publish it. people does that sometimes when they wrote to respond with better advice/experience they have had gone through. it could be worth help because there are many readers out there and they'd willing to take advice and be more understandable around deafies.
 
I don't have any problem with hearing people, only with SOME deaf people when it comes to socialising.

I am pretty sure the columnist will see some letters trying to correct her on such. Of it is good, she will publish in the papers probably in weeks or so, but she won't be able to publish every one she gets.
 
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