I think the relationship would depend on communication between the two.
Yes, I admit that I've seen a lot of deaf/hearing relationships end quickly. I even witnessed a deaf/hearing marriage end up with a divorce.
dating hearing people isn't no problem for me.... Everybody worries to much, need to give it a chance.... So what if the first hearing person dumps you or you dump that hearing person? You may find another hearing person who is great to you and understand you. But you gotta fine the right person.. It doesn't always have to be "dating or married" to a deaf person. I don't care if I date hearing, but as a matter of fact all of my ex boyfriends are hearing... Not one of them are "deaf or hard of hearing".. It doesn't bother me at all.. One of my ex boyfriend, we dated for almost 2 years, he's hearing... There wasn't no problems in the realtionship at all... I got a lot of hearing people~ and got no deaf friends that I'm close to. So dont judge on hearing people, You might be suprise if your next person is your "right" person to spend the rest of your life with... Remember God has a plan for everybody!
I totally agree. We cant worry too much about the past repeating itself in our current or future relationships. If we do that, then that will affect our potential in having a healthy relationship ever and end up alone. My ex husband is hearing and didnt know sign language but our marriage didnt fail cuz he is hearing and I am deaf. It was due to other issues. After the split, I vowed I wouldnt be with a hearing guy again so I dated deaf guys...for 4 years, nothing worked out and then I fell in love with my good friend who is now my current husband. Guess what? He is hearing but so far I am so happy in our marriage and feel right with him. Looking back, since the beginning of my relationship with my ex, there was something missing but I was too young and niave to recognize the signs.
I think all relationships face challenges from cultural differences, emotional baggage, past haunts, communication issues, trust issues, childraising beliefs, in laws, and many more.
If a relationship didnt work out because of deaf and hearing issues then it was those people themselves that made that into a negative factor of their relationship but it DOES not mean that all deaf/hearing realationships are doomed for failure. Yes, deaf/hearing relationships face more challenges than deaf/deaf and hearing/hearing relationships but if the couple really love each other and willing to work to meet each other needs, then the relationship have a great chance for surviving for many years.
Exactly! Give a person a chance... You never know what all the suprises are! Im glad that your happy with your hubby now! I think it's great!! Hope all the best for you and your family! God Bless you!
as for hearing and deaf relationship you are right its an bad idea i ll tell you the whole story from beginning to end it ll take a while .....
Although many people here are very positive about deaf/hearing relationships, it is a definite statistic that 90% of deaf/hearing marriages end in divorce...that is something hard to ignore.
I have talked to a few very intelligent people who are in deaf/hearing marriages, and they've all said that one culture always has to lose. I don't mean 100%, but both have to sacrifice in ways that 2 deaf or 2 hearing people wouldn't.
If the hearing person doesn't sign, or doesn't sign well, then there is a lack of fluent communication which WILL make a difference, no matter what anyone else says. People don't usually communicate well when they both fluently speak the same language, when it's different languages...in a marriage...AHH. Plus, the deaf person is going to feel left out in all hearing situations with their spouse, that's just..not good. Also, if the hearing person doesn't sign, it is doubtful they have any real understanding of how a deaf person feels, deaf community, etc. Language and culture go hand-in-hand, you can't learn one without the other.
If the hearing person does sign fluently, and both are involved in the deaf community, then honestly, there must be times when both feel left out. A hearing person involved in the deaf community IS NOT and CANNOT be involved the same way a deaf person is, and even when in some ways they are, they're still hearing...you know. For example, when you have kids, let's say that when the deaf spouse is there, the rule is both of you sign, and the kids must sign. The kid goes up to the hearing parent in front of the deaf parent and starts speaking...if the hearing parent responds, in sign or speech, they still need to in some way "translate" what the child said, or they are leaving the deaf parent out, definitely causing a control shift...but if they hearing parent ignores the child until he/she signs, that's tough too...that's ignoring your child using a language you understand...I...I don't know what I would do, but def. tough.
I am not trying to discourage all deaf/hearing relationships, or saying they can't work out, but it's not easy.
as for hearing and deaf relationship you are right its an bad idea i ll tell you the whole story from beginning to end it ll take a while .....
it all started with when i was desprately searching for a woman and i found her online her name was liz i met her thru her sister laura we was hitting it of fand we were doing just fine no problem at all i felt so happy i thought i ve met my life partner she said she felt same way then as time passes i went to new orleans and met her family they were all so happy to see me liz s sons called me daddy i was so proud to be called an daddy but as time passes by some lies was popping up and denied i found it odd and like a fool i ignored it and i noticed liz spe4nding more time with laura alone more than she does to me it made me felt so left out she said she s not used to be with aqn caring guy which is me she s used to an abusive guys but i ve always thought women wanted to be with an guy who s so caring so understanding so loving and so loyal why doesnt she want go out alone with me? doestn she understand how lonely i felt? then as time passed by it was nov 17th i helded her i was in an emotional state because i missed her but i felt better after i hugged her then all of the sudden she said she didnt wanted to be touched or held because she s pregnant the question is is she really pregnant i ve always tried to get her to take an pregnant test but she said she know s she s pregnant but its too early to tell so was it a lie? if it is then why? anyway i aked her to let me hold her at l3ast for a while because i felt so lonely more than i could handle i ve been so alone for years i needed someone to hold once a while and that time was the most time i needed her but she didnt watn to hold me at all she just told me she loved me but her eyes showed hatred i didnt understand then i just lost it i cried so hard and i cutted myself on my left arm which i shouldnt have done but it was done i aplologized to liz she said she needed to be alone for a while to calm down i tried to leave her alone but i couldnt stand seeing her hurted i tried to tell her i love her and that i care for her and that is there anything i can do to make he feel better i wanted to be there for her and then later on three men came in and chatted with liz i felt left out i noticed her laughting and chatting it up liek nothing happened and then all of the sudden she just got up and went to bedroom and put on an very sexy clothes the one you could she her tits and her private parts thru the clothe and then she flashed her boobs to one man named mike and flirted with him i asked her why did she go and do that?> she said "because if that swhat i want to i will" i just sat there watching her cheat on me it hurts so much i had so much pain my emotions actually had an breakdown i felt so numb why did she had to do this to me? she flirted with that man mike and sexually tease him flunging her boobies around right in front of me i had to endure it and they took a walk and told me to stay put who knows what she s doing with that man mike when she s taking a walk? with him ? kissing? or much more? i didnt want to lose her swo i listened my friend told me to leave her that she s not worth it i just cant because i loved her too deeply then they came back and the men finally left in my mind i told myself i had to leave her because that s the real her liz is an whore an player an slut an cheater and she s so cruelest women i ve ever met i mean who hurts men right front of his eyes and laugh about it and got drunk ? and i couldnt sleep then the next day when liz woke up i worked very hard to make her happy again by expressing my love for her i wrote poems i bought her an rose i even told her i was going to propose to her because i actually thought that ll make her happy because she told me that it was her dream that i would ask her to marry me no matter how soon it is and now she told me off that i m too controling and that i shouldnt have controled her and then she wanted to break up i just looked on her flatly and said ok i accept that if that s what she want , i love her but she s not worth it i refuse to date with an 2 cent whore it makes me wonder do she sell her body for moneyt? i wouldnt be surprised anyway even if i hav ent showed signs of voilence they still are afraid of me why is that? and they called the cop to make sure i was kicked out in peace so they kicked me out an dleft me for homeless i walked from metaiire to new orleans and got in amtrak train and got back in wisconsin and here i am feeling happy and relieved that i m free from her evil grasp note to self never ever go out with an woman online peroid, anyway tha is the story of hearing and de4af relationship onlything hearing woman havbe done to me is bring me pain where were lis when i needed her the most i 3was there for her and she was never there for me i helped her sne she didnt do anything for me is that fair? i know what i did was wrong but do i actually deserved to get cheated on? to be hu4rted like this when liz turned into an whore an slut right in front of my eyes?
everyone hope that ll help with this thread all this happened last week