Children Of Deaf Adults!

Bebonang said:
:ty: Jillio, that makes a lot of sense to what is happening to our hearing children of deaf adults (CODA) when they are meeting some rude hearing children or hearing people who don't know anything about our deafness. That is very sad. I know that there are people who are laughing or teasing about my deafness and I just ignore them and go on with my life. I will talk to my son about that and see what happen to him back when he was very young and why he did not want to sign out in public. If he say the same as you mention what my son was going through, then I did not know that he was having problem with that when he was out in public. I can see that clearly what is wrong with my son years ago now. Wow. Thank you very much. :wave:
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You are welcome! If that does turn out to be the reason, I'm sure that your son did not tell you about it because he was trying to protect you from hurt feelings.
 
jillio said:
I agree with you that rude comments and belittling remarks from others are probably respsonsible for your son's reluctance to sign with you in public. It most likely had nothing to do with his feelings of love and respect for you, but was just a child's way to protect you indirectly from being judged by that type of judgement from rude people. As a kid, he couldn't stand up to others like that without them rejecting him, too, so he did the only thing he could do to protect him from being rejected and you from being ridiculed. Sadly, children often are put in situations that they just don't have the skills or the maturity to deal with, so they do the only thing they can in an effort to try to make things better.

But now that he is an adult, he has begun to sign with you in public, because he now has different skills for handling any rude comments that could be made.

Of course, I am not a CODA, but I have encountered the same situation with deaf children who have been made fun of in public schools for signing, so they will refuse to sign in public because it draws attention to their difference and allt hey want is to be accepted by their peers. Likewise, I have met, unfortunately, some parents who refuse to use sign with their children because they don't want others to know automatically that they have given birth to a "hadicapped" child. The children I have great emapthy for, and can understand their reactions. The parents.......well, that is another story altogether!
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My daughter is the same. I told her it is either me misunderstanding hearing people due to "hiding" my deafness or signing showing hearing people that I am deaf. She hates it when I misunderstand hearing people but hates it when my deafness is apparent. I told her that she cant have both...LOL!
 
shel90 said:
My daughter is the same. I told her it is either me misunderstanding hearing people due to "hiding" my deafness or signing showing hearing people that I am deaf. She hates it when I misunderstand hearing people but hates it when my deafness is apparent. I told her that she cant have both...LOL!
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She'll come around! Kids have a tough time trying to find their own way sometimes. But these are natural developmental stages.
 
Tousi wrote:

Dare I say the degree "frankness, bluntness", etc is directly related to the linguistic sophistication of individual deaf persons? Like Interpretator said, not all deaf people are this way and I notice that some of the more sophisticated deaf folks are in their second language, English, the degree of this "bluntness, etc" goes down. Too, I have seen those same "sophisticates" reserve this "bluntness" to utilize within the deaf community.
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Wow! As a beginner to ASL, I have realized that when I "sign" I have to structure my communication within my limited vocabulary so, Tousi's post is consistent with my own (apparently only partially correct) assumptions.

Interpretator: Thanks for sharing all that knowledge. I read your profile (qualifications) and can say that the insights you post are invaluable (IMHO) to new signers (me). I can also say that, when I read posts that are helpful and seem correct based on my current level of knowledge, I immediately check the posters profile for the hearing status and background. It is helpful to have access to this disclosure because it helps frame the "context" of the information. CI's, CT's (like HoHOhioGuy) are very generous to share such gems of information on this site:) I will certainly be investigating the purchase of the recommended text and...am unsure of what a DI is?? Can anyone clear that up for me??

Thanks, have a great Sunday!
John
 
shel90 said:
My daughter is the same. I told her it is either me misunderstanding hearing people due to "hiding" my deafness or signing showing hearing people that I am deaf. She hates it when I misunderstand hearing people but hates it when my deafness is apparent. I told her that she cant have both...LOL!
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Just a little personal story re kids and their funny ways. Coming from an extended deaf birth family I have several nieces and nephews who are hearing. One four year old niece (hearing)was particularly protective of her deaf grandmother, (my mum) and when out in public could be very stern with anyone she thought was slighting nana, her favourite saying was, "my nana is deaf, you be nice to her" No hiding behing a bushel for this wee lass.
 
Raykat said:
Just a little personal story re kids and their funny ways. Coming from an extended deaf birth family I have several nieces and nephews who are hearing. One four year old niece (hearing)was particularly protective of her deaf grandmother, (my mum) and when out in public could be very stern with anyone she thought was slighting nana, her favourite saying was, "my nana is deaf, you be nice to her" No hiding behing a bushel for this wee lass.
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Cute story, Raykat. Your niece sounds like a little firecracker! Kids have wonderful ways of attempting to protect those they love.
 
Raykat said:
Just a little personal story re kids and their funny ways. Coming from an extended deaf birth family I have several nieces and nephews who are hearing. One four year old niece (hearing)was particularly protective of her deaf grandmother, (my mum) and when out in public could be very stern with anyone she thought was slighting nana, her favourite saying was, "my nana is deaf, you be nice to her" No hiding behing a bushel for this wee lass.
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Awww that is so adorable!
 
Raykat said:
Just a little personal story re kids and their funny ways. Coming from an extended deaf birth family I have several nieces and nephews who are hearing. One four year old niece (hearing)was particularly protective of her deaf grandmother, (my mum) and when out in public could be very stern with anyone she thought was slighting nana, her favourite saying was, "my nana is deaf, you be nice to her" No hiding behing a bushel for this wee lass.
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I have never thought of that way about how hearing children are trying to protect deaf member of the family whether deaf or hearing. Right now I understand why my son is trying to protect from hearing people who are laughing or making fun of me behind my back. Your niece is really sweet and love her grandmother very much just to protect her. I like what your niece is doing to help her. :cool:
 
Raykat said:
Just a little personal story re kids and their funny ways. Coming from an extended deaf birth family I have several nieces and nephews who are hearing. One four year old niece (hearing)was particularly protective of her deaf grandmother, (my mum) and when out in public could be very stern with anyone she thought was slighting nana, her favourite saying was, "my nana is deaf, you be nice to her" No hiding behing a bushel for this wee lass.
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Soooo cute! :giggle:
 
Raykat said:
Just a little personal story re kids and their funny ways. Coming from an extended deaf birth family I have several nieces and nephews who are hearing. One four year old niece (hearing)was particularly protective of her deaf grandmother, (my mum) and when out in public could be very stern with anyone she thought was slighting nana, her favourite saying was, "my nana is deaf, you be nice to her" No hiding behing a bushel for this wee lass.
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Awww. LOL!
 
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