An Open Thread Dedicated To Shel90

Yes, thanks for reminding me of Leo and Andi. I went to their funeral to honour their deaths when I was 7 months pregnant that time I was 19 years old. I know Leo, but not that much because he was a student in PDSD and I was in ASDB. My friends were grieving so much and were shocking.
It was heartbreaking to see everyone mourned, even Leo's older brother Ivan. He cried so hard because they both were very close.
I remember the story about drunken drove too fast and rammed Leo's small car to the light pole that killed them right away. Andi was in very bad shape because she was sitting on passengar that was where the side hit the pole.
Andi were cremated and Leo was in grave...Geez, I forgot what to call that thing. I got it, then it is a coffin.
They both were buried in Sedona, Arizona.

I have gone to their graves in Sedona...did u see the tombstone? It is so beautiful...two hearts with both of their pics on it. Andi was cremated and her ashes were sprinkled on Leo's grave. I was at the funeral too..I cant remember if I brought my daughter or not. She was like 4 months old at the time. My brother is good friends with Andi's sister Nancy. I think he lost touch with Ivan.
 
I also have another person who I went to middle school with him. He was on his way to a friend's house for new year eve party but never showed up.

What happened was he was walking along the sidewalk and the drunk driver hit him and he was flying about 20 feet up in the air and landed out of sight behind the brushes. His friends and families started to worry cuz of no show. Later someone found his body. Then the police requested to the public with the help to find the person who hit him.

Luckly a lady called the police cuz she heard on the radio and she told the police that she didnt see the accident but heard a loud thud and saw the car that went by her. Then the police tracked down the car and found it. They arrested the driver.

Few months later, the father of the kid killed himself by hanging in the abanded house.
 
I have gone to their graves in Sedona...did u see the tombstone? It is so beautiful...two hearts with both of their pics on it. Andi was cremated and her ashes were sprinkled on Leo's grave. I was at the funeral too..I cant remember if I brought my daughter or not. She was like 4 months old at the time. My brother is good friends with Andi's sister Nancy. I think he lost touch with Ivan.

I didn't go to Sedona funeral, I went there in Phoenix the day before Sedona.
I heard the beautiful story that her ashes were sprinkled on Leo's grave.
It touched my heart.
I will ask some of my friends if they see Ivan around. I lost touch with him either.
 
Shel. I'm really sorry to hear about your brothers friends. :hug:

I agree with what people have said here. Drunken driving is really terrible. I think their should be much stiffer penilties for drunken driving. A guy I met in my guide dog training class while I was training for Jilli, was blind because a drunken driver hit him.
 
I never noticed that but I wouldnt be surprised cuz the drunk driver's bodies are so flexible or loose so when the drunk driver is involved in an impact, their bodies dont usually stiff up resulting in less injuries. I read that somewhere..I will google it..

Its true. Reaction time is slowed from the alcohol, so even if they see the accident coming, they don't react before the impact. Sorry to hear about the tragedy. I hop that your brother is holding up okay in the face of the anniversary.
 
My brother is so busy with grad school right now for the summer only program. I guess keeping busy is a good thing.

Thanks everyone..pls dont feel sorry for me...feel sorry for their families. Their parents were devastated..I heard that one of them never really recovered and is always paranoid about her remaining children even though they are all adults. I cant imagine the horror to go thru that and I hope to never experience it. Losing friends are bad enough but losing a child..*goosebumps*
 
I also have another person who I went to middle school with him. He was on his way to a friend's house for new year eve party but never showed up.

What happened was he was walking along the sidewalk and the drunk driver hit him and he was flying about 20 feet up in the air and landed out of sight behind the brushes. His friends and families started to worry cuz of no show. Later someone found his body. Then the police requested to the public with the help to find the person who hit him.

Luckly a lady called the police cuz she heard on the radio and she told the police that she didnt see the accident but heard a loud thud and saw the car that went by her. Then the police tracked down the car and found it. They arrested the driver.

Few months later, the father of the kid killed himself by hanging in the abanded house.


Oh man..that really is horrible and I am sure the loss of his son was too much for the father.
 
I too have encountered 2 drunk driving incidents. The first was a friend that was walking to baseball pratice and he was hit while walking on the sidewalk. The guy was never found. It was a hit & run. Worse part was that I blamed myself for the longest time after I found out that he left earlier to catch up with me, as I'm usually the one on that sidewalk around that timeframe. But I decided to get to practice earlier for a game that week. Even though I know it's that driver's fault, but I always felt the burden.

The other was a friend that was drinking & driving. He had his 3 closest friends in the car, and he lost control on the freeway. He was the only one not wearing a seatbelt & he was thrown from the car as it was flipping. If I recall correctly, he said that it flipped about 8 times. Everybody in the car died. He is now paralized from the mid-trunk down. His friends' family would not let him attend their funerals and refused to speak to him after that incident.


Regarding to the observation in that the drunk drivers are usually the one that survives is not really because of their "drunk" body by itself, but rather via simple physics. If you have a moving object and it come in contact with another object, that force will translate into the stationary object. It's like a cue ball hitting the 8 ball. The forces will transfer upon contact, unless the two mass merges which will then share the force. Since most drunk drivers usually has some speed [as they will run through a red light] if they don't have the additional mass (more damaging if they have a SUV/truck hitting a standard car) and their victims usually acquired very little speed. Which is also why drunk drivers have a higher casuality rate if they hit an object with more mass: i.e, they hit a building, tree, ground, semi, etc... In that case it's like trying to push a wall, it displaces an equal amount of force to maintain their mass/position. Which is why if the car flips, the ground pushes all that force upon the car & combine that with the additional centrifugal forces (if they flip) which is probably why the friends died and he did not.

I've learned from his mistakes, as through college there were a lot of parties, but we always took the responsibility seriously as one would always be sober & be the designated driver. And if something would arise, we always had an alternative means via cab, or simply "walk it off" as we called it.

I am sorry about your friends. I am sure your friend will feel guilty for the rest of his life. I cant imagine living with such guilt like that. I heard that Melissa's boyfriend went into deep depression because he felt responsible for coming up with the idea of racing. I dont know what happened to him since.
 
I know of a man here locally that was hit by a drunk driver and he is now paralyzed from the neck down and requires lots of home health to do basic daily functions. He lost his way of life and his indendence. He told me that for a long while he wished he had been killed and not paralyzed because he felt imprisoned in his own body while the drunk walked away without a scratch. but now he goes around to high schools and does speeches on the results of accidents involving drunk drivers. He learned to make the best of his situation.

He used to drink beer regularly before the accident but never drove drunk, he hasnt touched alcohol since the accident and forbids any of it to be in his house.
 
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