I read this as I was browsing the site for the first time. I joined right away so I could respond to you.
Without going into detail about my history, I will say that I was kept out of the deaf world by my parents. I went to hearing schools and was not socialized with other deaf children as I grew up. The result has been devastating.
I was left out, and never was able to keep up. I ended up isolating myself and went through (am still going through) social handicaps related to stunted social development. I am now 37 years old and find myself unable to get through a job interview without severe anxiety attacks. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and the reasons have much to do with the lack of a healthy social development that is so crucial during the teenage years.
When I was 23 I went to Gallaudet University (a university for the Deaf) and my world opened up. I was home. It sounds corny but it was as if a phone had found its cradle. It was where I belonged. Your son longs for such a world, and he deserves it. Besides that, he needs it. Not just emotionally, psychologically, but DEVELOPMENTALLY.
My parents did what they thought was best, but they didn't help me at all. They only increased my isolation, and made things harder for me than necessary. My deaf friends that were socialized in deaf schools are all successful and secure in good jobs. Most of the Deaf people I graduated college with are successful. I am 37 and unemployed. I am stuck in a rut that I can't find my way out of, despite my education (I have a BA degree from Gallaudet.)
I am not saying that it is my parents' fault I am unemployed as an adult, but my struggles would have been considerably lessened had I had the foundation I truly needed. A foundation that, despite my parents' needs, was not available to me in the hearing world.
Despite my parents' efforts to raise me around the hearing (the wider world), I found my way to the Deaf world anyway because only they can give me what I need. Which is what your son is likely going to do the minute he can. Why not let him start now? The younger he starts it, the better for him.
Also, while I was at Gallaudet, I was made aware of some research that showed that deaf children that are educated in deaf schools end up doing better academically than those that were mainstreamed. Especially with English. I am sorry I am not prepared to show you the data but it is readily available at Gallaudet or MSSD (Model Secondary School for the Deaf).
Gallaudet University is a good place to start.
If you want to get a balanced perspective about your son's education (which it seems you do), I suggest you speak to those that specialize in deaf education. Better yet, speak with deaf educators that are deaf themselves. I took several education classes at Gallaudet and I distinctly remember learning about how deaf kids are more successful if they are educated in deaf schools.
Also, I have to say that speech therapy (which I went through myself) is a humiliating experience. I have nothing but bad memories of it, and it didn't help anyway. I would consider letting him have an elective class instead.
I know it is a big decision, and a family decision, but I hope you hear me. PLEASE, for his sake, let your deaf son be Deaf.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
PS, if you have any questions at all, please feel free to contact me. rebkeh@sprint.blackberry.net or rebkeh@yahoo.com
I am more than happy to answer any questions you may have regarding your son, deafness, and the experience of being deaf in a hearing world.
