Advice? We want our son to be mainstreamed. He wants to go to the School for the Deaf

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sevenhudsons

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Hi everyone,

Our son Jason, 13, has been deaf since birth and mainstreamed all the way through school. We primarily sign but he also speaks and lip reads. He has an ASL interpreter in the classroom and spends one period a day in speech therapy as an elective class. Other than that, he's a typical middle schooler.

He's a wrestler, and very good at it. Last year as a 7th grader, he wrestled high school JV. They had an away meet at the state school for the deaf and blind. He won his match against an 11th grader. He came home and we had the following conversation:

"I want to go to deaf school."

"Why?"

"I spent the day with people like me. I want to do that all the time. I want to be with people who understand me when I sign, and who I can understand. I don't like trying to speak to people who can't understand me. I don't like trying to lip read people I can't understand. I don't like wearing hearing aids and pretending they help me understand better, 'cause they don't. I am a DEAF PERSON and I want to be with DEAF PEOPLE!"

We're at a crossroads. We want Jason to be able to function in the wider world, so we've always brought him up around hearing people. We don't want to limit him. He doesn't like the school where he is; part of that is related to his deafness and part of it isn't. We want him to be happy. He's a smart boy, and we think he's got a good understanding of what would make him happy. But we don't want to pull him out of the mainstream. This is a big step for us. What advice would you give us?

Thanks,

Alexandra and John, Jason's parents
 
Let him go to the deaf school and he won't be bitter about what might have been later in life.
 
I think you should listen to your son. I know you prefere him to be at mainstream school, but if he wants to be with other deaf kids, it would be best to put him there.
 
As someone who has been deaf since birth and mainstreamed but wasn't happy, pls listen to your son. Right now, iam more involved with the Deaf community than the hearing world and I finally found inner peace and happiness.

Why do u think it is "limiting' if he goes to a Deaf school? Why r hearing peers better than deaf peers....just curious?

To me deaf children r humans just like anyone else...
 
I have gone through what your son had gone through with his experience among the hearing people in the mainstream school, even if he has a ASL interpreter. What he miss most is social interaction with Deaf people and he is really tire of reading lips on hearing people like me. I think you should let your son go into the Deaf school and be among Deaf children. It is important for him to be happy to be with Deaf people. I would if my parents would let me but they don't. I don't like that at all. So listen to him how he feel about being among hearing people that he had to cope with. I bet you that someday when you and your husband get old, you both will lose hearing too and you may not want to put hearing aids on and trying to understand what hearing people say. :roll:
 
Your son will one have go out in the world to get a job and he should know how to lip read . Maybe you can let him try the deaf school but tell him he need to keep up with his lip reading. I was in the store today with my hearing dog and a woman started talk to me in SL , which I do not know ,but I was able to read her lips . It really does help to know how to read lips. Your son should enjoy his childhood and if going to a deaf school will made him happy go for it! .
 
If he wants to go to a deaf school then you should let him.
 
All my life I have went to Oral School and Mainstreamed into public hearing schools.... While I was happy in there... I wasn't fully happy and I felt like something was missing. I felt like I didn't fully belong there. It wasn't until I met few deaf people of my age when I was in Middle school and I felt right at place.... and they were teaching me signs... I loved it.

I have wished that my parents has put me in Deaf School instead of Oral school... because I feel more comfortable and more in place when I'm in Deaf Community.

So I say that you should let your son go to Deaf school.... He may be bitter about it later in the future. I was little bitter of my Parents that didn't allow me to sign... I was bit bitter at my parents about how they were completely against me of hanging out with peers that is completely deaf and uses only ASL. But I forgave them and moved on.
 
Milwaukee said:
10 years ago it used to be great school. Now it unbelieved what I am see.
Click to expand...

Some of my friends who went there said it was a great school and they loved it.

It has been reputated as a strong BiBi program and a very good one.
 
sevenhudsons said:
we had the following conversation:

"I want to go to deaf school."

"Why?"

"I spent the day with people like me. I want to do that all the time. I want to be with people who understand me when I sign, and who I can understand. I don't like trying to speak to people who can't understand me. I don't like trying to lip read people I can't understand. I don't like wearing hearing aids and pretending they help me understand better, 'cause they don't. I am a DEAF PERSON and I want to be with DEAF PEOPLE!"

We're at a crossroads. We want Jason to be able to function in the wider world, so we've always brought him up around hearing people. We don't want to limit him. He doesn't like the school where he is; part of that is related to his deafness and part of it isn't. We want him to be happy. He's a smart boy, and we think he's got a good understanding of what would make him happy. But we don't want to pull him out of the mainstream. This is a big step for us. What advice would you give us?
Click to expand...

Hi!

First of all, I'm glad you two (the parents) are coming on this forum to ask for advices which is a big step for anyone to do.

While it is understandable that you two would like for your son to stay in the mainstream setting but if you don't pull him out of the mainstream - he won't be any happier down the road than he is right now. He probably would resent you two when he gets older.

So, I would suggest you both to look at it and think about how much happiness he could get by being at a Deaf School where he knows that it is the place he does not have to feel he's the "only one" in any atmosphere. It sounds like you two have a wonderful son and and I believe that your son could fare much better by having both worlds in balance. :)

I wish you all the best in this decision-making process. :)
 
shel90 said:
Some of my friends who went there said it was a great school and they loved it.

It has been reputated as a strong BiBi program and a very good one.
Click to expand...

question how many years was that is?

They change very FAST before your eye.
 
Milwaukee said:
I mean your friend went there and graduated it. How long was that? 10 or 15 years?

NO but visit there all times.
Click to expand...

It is not just one friend...is it a few and some as recent as 5 years ago and others as long as 10 plus years.

Well, then I guess u are the better judge of it.

If it is so bad, what are you doing to help improve it?
 
shel90 said:
It is not just one friend...is it a few and some as recent as 5 years ago and others as long as 10 plus years.

Well, then I guess u are the better judge of it.

If it is so bad, what are you doing to help improve it?
Click to expand...

If I was principal there.

I would change lot stupid rules that principal make it.

Stop racist it huge issue there and they turn to big fight.
gossip
increase dorm staffs to make sure no girl or boy with in room.
no camera that what HUGE ISSUE with camera at locker or dorm.
teachers must be fair not those who I hate those student I won't help.
no student car. They are way DANGEROUS drive 15-50 mph in 5 mph road.
lot to list and they were not approval to put here.
 
Milwaukee said:
If I was principal there.

I would change lot stupid rules that principal make it.

Stop racist it huge issue there and they turn to big fight.
gossip
increase dorm staffs to make sure no girl or boy with in room.
no camera that what HUGE ISSUE with camera at locker or dorm.
teachers must be fair not those who I hate those student I won't help.
no student car. They are way DANGEROUS drive 15-50 mph in 5 mph road.
lot to list and they were not approval to put here.
Click to expand...

racism and gossip are a big problem at the public schools too.

I dont know about teachers personally hating students and refusing to help them. If they are doing that, then they have no business in the field of education.

No student cars on campus...several public high school have student parking lots so it is not a deaf school issue.

Now, the dorms..that's a whole another issue there..and I agree with u that more staff is needed. However, my friends who went there never said anything about the dorms being a problem.

Every school whether public or Deaf have their own flaws and every school always has room for improvement.

Thanks for sharing this..next time someone says something about MSD, I will ask them about all these issues.

I am all for helping any Deaf schools become better and free of all the issues that plague public schools these days.
 
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