Advice please: son doesn't want to wear HAs

Bottesini said:
My stepmother is friends with a deaf audi, by the way. They really are not that rare. And they do have more of the perspective and understanding of what a deaf kids experiences.
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only audiological and/o speech experiences, doubtful of any REAL Deaf (not deaf) and bet they wouldnt even touch Deaf politics with a barge pole...
 
I don't know how rare it is to find a deaf/hoh audi. This guy doesn't do much marketing. He's been seeing the same deaf people for years. Gets his business by word of mouth--er--sign of hand.
 
jillio said:
I'm thinking of a poster here who was all about Deaf perspective and ASL and bi-bi education. Then an implant was done. Poster did a complete switch to oral only. Second implant done. Poster became even more rabid about the hearing perspective and oral only. It seems to have that affect on those that were insincere and just attempting to "fit in" with the deaf.
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I think I can guess who that is.
 
Grummer said:
only audiological and/o speech experiences, doubtful of any REAL Deaf (not deaf) and bet they wouldnt even touch Deaf politics with a barge pole...
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Not sure what you are saying but my stepmother's friend is pre lingual and Deaf.
 
jillio said:
So? Anyone working at JTC uses a medical model. Deaf people can be audist and perceive deafness as pathological, too. We have even seen it on this forum.
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Yep. I can think of one such example.
 
Grummer said:
\You see, having a deaf child is not like 'oh my child is deaf but society is hearing, we'd try fit him in, it doesnt work like that, its more like -dare i say- you have to be on his sde to show him how society needs to fit to him, hate to say you got more than you bargained for, and so does he. in so saying, ypu need to support him from the way we, d/Deaf people can share and give you ideas and support to go through this Just because "Experts" like doctors, TODs are paid, employed and waves the badge with big words like Audiologist, therapist, etc doesnt mean much to d/Deaf people in fact, most of us would consider them as the enemy against our rights to life. We aren't Born to be your clever parrots with broken ears, we got feelings too, and listen to your boy too, he is telling you something, now its probably not so clear because at his age, he doesnt have the vocabulary or the maturity to tell you whats he's thinking or feeling, so try be mindful of that OK, those 'experts' assumes they know what you boy wants - BULLSHIT - even if this means he wants to play with hearing children in the playground, its nothing to do with deafness, just basic instinch that he wants to play, BUT now when you think about Deaf children playing together ' they might talk rubbish amongst each other (so do hearing kids- except Maybe with more 'accuracy' of understanding the world in 'game-play' that is only because of home life, dinner table talks.... dont imagine for a second that a child with hearing aids is going to have this same oppurtunity - we never did, - if you look around in All Deaf you'd seen ALOT of US had the same experience regardless of the wide range 'hearing loss' , they story remains the same. Again this is you have to consider - homelife, schoollife, his feelings, learning pace,the stress involved...
just something to ponder on.
Hope you come away with more thoughts on what you are doing if you forcing him to use HA, and/or denying the use of ASL...do both NOW, but communicate with him thur ASL for his feelings and see how much more he can say to you in sign, you will see also Tell him your his mother and you will sign because you want to talk and be his freinds not a 'surrogate speech-therapist as parent'...
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Yes Grummer. I kind of think rivenoak is still kind of subconsciously thinking "hoh or kids who speak well don't "need" ASL.
She is NOT an AG Bell parent or anything like that. Which is good....but even kids who are functionally hoh can strongly strongly benifit from ASL. Speech only is best in one on one situtions. .....Hoh kids can grow up bilingal in both ASL and speech. It's just that b/c of audist educational philosophies we've been pushed to mainstreaming to the max and oral only. There are a lot of positive things about ASL, and one is the abilty to grow up emotionally without having to struggle with the barrier of speech. Even thou it's easier for kids with CIs to achieve hoh levels, (and thus spoken language) that doesn't mean that it still isn't hard for those of us who are hoh to struggle with spoken English.
 
jillio said:
Yes, Shel and DS. That was my hypothesis. The minute the audi would suggest dealing with anything less than a medical model or from a deaf perspective, they would loose all credibility. I don't think that many hearing parents would even voluntarily use a deaf/hoh audi if there was anyway to get a hearing one instead.
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Why would they when, subconcious or not, they want their child to hear so why on earth go to d/Deaf/HoH audiologist? An hearing audiologist would support audist parents not a Deaf one. :roll:

Plus, ignorant as some hearie parents can be, they will wonder how on earth can a Deaf/HoH audiologist provide a 'proper' assessment if they cannot hear properly. An hearing audiologist would be seen as superior. :hmm:
 
jillio said:
I'm thinking of a poster here who was all about Deaf perspective and ASL and bi-bi education. Then an implant was done. Poster did a complete switch to oral only. Second implant done. Poster became even more rabid about the hearing perspective and oral only. It seems to have that affect on those that were insincere and just attempting to "fit in" with the deaf.
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Ah, the 'fit in at all costs and forget about my identity' syndrome. :roll:
 
Many people think that the FM guarantees that the child will not miss anything. Wrong! It does eliminate a lot if background interferences, but it also cuts out everyone and everything else without direct access to the microphone (unless it's soundfield). My parents forced me to wear my aids since i was 4...I HATED them so much. Especially in the left ear...it was not beneficial, it hurt, and sometimes I got this annoying crackling sound right inside my ear. One day I got a hammer, took off my left aid, and smashed the fucking hearing aid into tiny pieces...I kept picking up the chucks that flew until I smashed it all. And never wore another aid in that ear again.
 
deafbajagal said:
Many people think that the FM guarantees that the child will not miss anything. Wrong! It does eliminate a lot if background interferences, but it also cuts out everyone and everything else without direct access to the microphone (unless it's soundfield). My parents forced me to wear my aids since i was 4...I HATED them so much. Especially in the left ear...it was not beneficial, it hurt, and sometimes I got this annoying crackling sound right inside my ear. One day I got a hammer, took off my left aid, and smashed the fucking hearing aid into tiny pieces...I kept picking up the chucks that flew until I smashed it all. And never wore another aid in that ear again.
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I have never met a prelingual deaf who liked those FM systems.
 
When I was in middle school, I did whatever I took to avoid wearing that stupid FM system....I would purposely not push the plug all the way in so it wouldnt get charged overnight and pulled the wires out of the reciever. I hated that thing with a passion.
 
shel90 said:
When I was in middle school, I did whatever I took to avoid wearing that stupid FM system....I would purposely not push the plug all the way in so it wouldnt get charged overnight and pulled the wires out of the reciever. I hated that thing with a passion.
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Kids are a lot smarter than adults given credit for. :giggle:
 
rebeccalj said:
Kids are a lot smarter than adults given credit for. :giggle:
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the charger was in the nurses' office so I would go in there at the end of the day and be all sweet and innocent when "plugging" the FM system in. They saw me as that awww the sweet hearing impaired kid. Then, I would turn my back to them so they wouldnt see what I did.

Yep, I was very sly but I was very very embarassed about wearing an ugly brown bulky box on my f**** chest. I wanted to be stylish like my peers and I hated it when the other kids would asked me if the bulky box was a cigarette pack and ask me for smokes. WTF>?! I almost stole a pack of cigarettes so I could give out smokes just to be cool. Gee! My brother never had to go through that shit at the Deaf school.
 
deafskeptic said:
I have never met a prelingual deaf who liked those FM systems.
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I'm prelingually HH and I agree that most FM systems don't work well to hear more than one person, which is exactly what is needed for most listening situations including the classroom (need to hear the other students, not just the teacher) and meetings.

ETA: I've also experienced what it's like to have to wear an ill-fitting hearing aid that is painful as a result and I'm not happy to read that others had to experience the same thing.

I'd like to think that is a thing of the past, but apparently it can still happen even now esp. if the audiologists don't really understand how to fit a hearing aid. And surprisingly, despite the fact that they are required to get a PhD -- a lot of them still don't know how to actually fit hearing aids. I'm not sure what they are spending all of their time learning, but its obviously not the nuts and bolts of the trade.
 
shel90 said:
the charger was in the nurses' office so I would go in there at the end of the day and be all sweet and innocent when "plugging" the FM system in. They saw me as that awww the sweet hearing impaired kid. Then, I would turn my back to them so they wouldnt see what I did.

Yep, I was very sly but I was very very embarassed about wearing an ugly brown bulky box on my f**** chest. I wanted to be stylish like my peers and I hated it when the other kids would asked me if the bulky box was a cigarette pack and ask me for smokes. WTF>?! I almost stole a pack of cigarettes so I could give out smokes just to be cool. Gee! My brother never had to go through that shit at the Deaf school.
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I should not laugh but you are killing me!! I visualize little Shel doing these tricky things. :giggle:
 
I remember refused on FM I know I was 5 yrs I don't like hearing aid but change i do right now I love my hearing aid :)
 
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