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ClearSky

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I have been at my job for a little over a month. I have never been in a job with such bossy people.

There's this woman who is from another country. She's been there two years, and she tried to boss me around by telling me to do something that she has no right to command. The way I tried to handle it is by telling her to do it herself, ignoring her, nodding and ignoring her and finally to not paying much attention to her. Instead, this has her in throwing me an attitude. We work opening boxes from the unloading truck, and she does such a really rude thing. She pushes the boxes hard and roughly down the thing that wheels them to the next person. This is purely rude, and someone actually thought that I was doing that because I was second in line to her. Today, I was unwrapping plastics from shorts in hangers on that thing that rolls the boxes, and that pissed me off that I rolled the damn boxes back at her. What does she do? She talks back like I had no right to do that. WTH? I feel that it is also dangerous because you could jam someone's finger or cut them with the edge of the cardboard boxes. She simply has no reason to do that.

People seem to like her, but it's obvious no one likes the rough pushing of the boxes. She was having a bad attitude around me during break. Does she even realize what she does? I almost wanted to tell her off, but I am not sure it'd work telling her since my ignoring her bossy ways isn't working but making her more hostile-like.

Next, there's this old lady who works at the jewelry. The breakroom where we have our coats has a shelve with crap on top. I grabbed some magazines thinking it wasn't wanted. The first time, she says, "excuse me," and turns the magazine over. She tells me that when I finish to put it back because it was her. Well, I looked at her in a kinda shocked and odd feeling. I got up and put it back saying, "I am sorry I took your magazines." Then, I left. The next time, I made sure not to grab her magazines. I am reading and she comes over and says, "excuse me" and turns the magazine over. She went, "Oh" and smiles. I looked at her with a stern look that I didn't appreciate what she did.

We have this thing that we are supposed to pay $1 every Friday. I thought someone would come to us and collect them like someone told me. No one's been collecting them, so I never bothered to ask. This is for a child sponsor, and they had changed the child, so they had that on hold for a bit. Well, she came over to me and said, "look at me." I was like, "Excuse me?" She was telling me about having to pay $1 probably to her. She's like watching me like a hawk when I have jeans on. Anyway, I nodded to her kinda shocked at her behavior saying, "look at me" like I am a child. I feel that she treats me like a child. I didn't pay her no $1. Instead, I walked on the other side of the store so that she wouldn't see me. I decided that I better not wear jeans on Friday from now on. Why would I just give her $1 and she could just use it for her snacks. I'll find out when my boss comes back because no one told me how I'd pay for it or what.

Man, I just want to be assertive and quit these two bossy women from treating me like a child. I am a bit scared of the woman from another country by the rough attitude she's having towards me. I don't believe there would be a problem that the bosses would communicate this with them, but I get a bit worried they'd get worse.

Man, I am glad I changed jobs, but I am not happy with these bossy women. I attempt to ignore them, but it doesn't seem to be working.
 
Wow :shock: At any jobs.. They cannot do force collection the money from employments!! No way!! Yes you need talking with Her bossy or owner that you re waiting for bossy come back?

Sorry about that! :roll:
 
ClearSky said:
I am sorry I wasn't clear. It's $1 every friday if we want to wear jeans.
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its for child sponsor?? its dont make a sense If you wear jean and not want pay 1.dollar then its your decide!:dunno2:


you re right that never know she spend it on snack foods~??
 
ClearSky,

I’m interested in your experience, because the same has happened to me, and I have a theory of the cause and a way out that worked for me.

You didn’t say, but I know you have a cochlear implant, and I suspect you may be shy about talking and have a “deaf accent.”

I can’t hear anything, so I speech read and speak some with bad volume and a bit monotone. Anyway, I don’t speak a great deal. After going totally deaf, I worked many jobs. Library re-stocker . . . wildlife and parks ranger . . . assembly line technician . . . honey extractor . . . and beekeeper.

At almost every job was someone who self-appointed himself or herself to boss me around, even though I was older and better educated. I think the reason was that I'm deaf and unassertive, and each one felt that gave him or her the right to act superior.

The boss always set the person straight, but then came the subtle undermining between hearing co-workers and a deaf one. Other deafies I’ve discussed this with agree with some points.

The theory I have is there is a “deaf honeymoon.” At first (except the one or two bossy ones) everybody is all friendly and super supportive. They all want to know everything about me, all want to learn sign, all go out of their ways to help, and all are my new best friends.

Then after three to six weeks, the honeymoon is over. Most of the problems were started by the bossy ones I refused to let boss me. They would rumor-monger, and soon many found it too hard to have a conversation with me . . . after learning half the alphabet and a few signs they continually screwed up, they’re all done learning . . . it’s too hard and too long to explain things to me, so I get excluded from the info loop . . . they avoid including me in work or social groups . . . and except for a few new and true friends, I’m pretty much shunned.

The way out I want to share is in all but one job I was able to work through the collapse of the “honeymoon” period. Most of the time, I worked hard and tried to minimize mistakes, though the first to admit my own errors. Petty rumors I ignored, but those affecting my job, I traced to the source and exposed whomever started it.

Each time I was slowly able to expand my small group of supporters and win back friends. On two jobs I was able to get promoted to where I was my own boss, and on one job I became the foreman. In that one, the bossy one who tried to put me down quit.

I know some will laugh at the “honeymoon” analogy, but similar things must have happened to other deafies-on-the-job.
 
Ive had jobs and co-workers like that. it's not always easy to work through the collapse of the honeymoon but when you get through that state people realize that there is so much more to you than your deafness.

Today I finally put my foot down - anyone who whistled at me for my attention I corrected them by saying - I am not a dog, I dont do tricks on command.

A co-worker kept splashing water on me from the meat and her gloves everytime she put a butterfly breast on the belt. I finally looked up at her and I said - DAMMIT that is the LAST time. Then I told her off from one end to the other. She never said another word to me the remainder of the day. And yes a line foreman was standing nearby and heard every last obscenity. The foreman was laughing and was actually glad that someone finally set this co-worker straight.

At last I think people and this certain co-worker is realizing Im not going to condone them running over me and bossing me around like a child. I firmly told the co-worker in question that I did not need a babysitter and she had best worry more about herself instead of meddling into everyone else's buisness.
 
That reminded me why my last job were better people. It was very likely because I worked the register, and when you do things that require public contact, you seem to get more respect on a more equal level. I liked that a lot about my last job. It was time to move on though. Not going into details.

Anyway, well, I had suspected that maybe my deafness has something to do with it, but also I look like a teenager. Still, no teenager of legal working age should be treated like children. I suspect this lady thinks I am a bit stupid.

I don't have a problem communicating with people, but I never like to be mean to anyone. Sometimes I either wait awhile or tough it out before I do something about it. Well, I realize that I don't need to do this anymore. I want to speak up and tell them what they need to hear by being assertive. It's obvious that my expressions, which everyone makes isn't getting to them especially that old lady.

I could be trained for the register, but this is one of the reasons why I changed jobs. My boss told me she would like to train me when I am ready, but I am not. The customers at my last job were crazy, so I decided that I needed a break. Still, it doesn't matter where I work or what positions I have..no one should be thinking any less of me than the other workers who do the same thing. Even the bosses do what I do.

Anyway, I may sound a bit different, but that isn't a problem. No one needs to sign to me to speak with me. They all know that. One lady tried to do that, and I bet she was testing my hearing by calling my name for no reason. I just worry that I might sound like a rude/angry person rather than assertive.

Man, I just want to set these people straight. I just don't want to do it by waiting awhile or toughing it out because I know that I do not deserve to be treated like a child.

That old lady from the start had a weird look on her face rather than welcoming when she saw me the first time. I smiled the first time, and she just looked like those kind of grumpy old ladies. She didn't know about my deafness at that time. Part of it she has a problem, but she has no reason to treat me like a child.

I was working with someone and we needed tape to tape back opened products. It was set on the jewelry counter by a supervisor, and she had a problem with it. She moved it saying to us that customers needed to see the jewelry case. She also moved a coffee (asking if it was mine) that wasn't hers. She didn't even sit at that table where the coffee was, so somehow she thinks she owns the space she walks on.
 
Phillips,

It's not that I do not want to pay the dollar if I have to. It's for sponsoring a child, but if she is the one in charge of collecting the $1 bill, then why didn't she come to me before and introduced herself about it? She just looks at the jeans and analyzes if I paid my $1. I had assumed someone would come to each of us to collect it like someone else said. I left it alone, but I know that I will have to ask my boss about it to be certain who collects it. That was so rude when she said, "look at me." Oh man.....I almost wanted to bust her.
 
I guess I just say however I can best say it? I have no problem going to the boss if I have to, but I want to be strong myself, too.
 
Clearsky - when she approached you and said "Look at me" I would have looked up and said - "Oh you have a booger hanging out of your nose" and then walked off with a smirk.
 
Dixie said:
Clearsky - when she approached you and said "Look at me" I would have looked up and said - "Oh you have a booger hanging out of your nose" and then walked off with a smirk.
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:bowlol: ... good one, Dixie! ... :lol:
 
Well, if you're not shy, don't want to work things out by the published employee's guidelines, and want action now . . . Dixie's way may be the answer for you. If co-workers get a chip on their shoulders, put a bigger one on your shoulder and stand up for what you think is right.

If it doesn't work, there are always other jobs.
 
ClearSky said:
That reminded me why my last job were better people. It was very likely because I worked the register, and when you do things that require public contact, you seem to get more respect on a more equal level. I liked that a lot about my last job. It was time to move on though. Not going into details.

Anyway, well, I had suspected that maybe my deafness has something to do with it, but also I look like a teenager. Still, no teenager of legal working age should be treated like children. I suspect this lady thinks I am a bit stupid.

I don't have a problem communicating with people, but I never like to be mean to anyone. Sometimes I either wait awhile or tough it out before I do something about it. Well, I realize that I don't need to do this anymore. I want to speak up and tell them what they need to hear by being assertive. It's obvious that my expressions, which everyone makes isn't getting to them especially that old lady.

I could be trained for the register, but this is one of the reasons why I changed jobs. My boss told me she would like to train me when I am ready, but I am not. The customers at my last job were crazy, so I decided that I needed a break. Still, it doesn't matter where I work or what positions I have..no one should be thinking any less of me than the other workers who do the same thing. Even the bosses do what I do.

Anyway, I may sound a bit different, but that isn't a problem. No one needs to sign to me to speak with me. They all know that. One lady tried to do that, and I bet she was testing my hearing by calling my name for no reason. I just worry that I might sound like a rude/angry person rather than assertive.

Man, I just want to set these people straight. I just don't want to do it by waiting awhile or toughing it out because I know that I do not deserve to be treated like a child.

That old lady from the start had a weird look on her face rather than welcoming when she saw me the first time. I smiled the first time, and she just looked like those kind of grumpy old ladies. She didn't know about my deafness at that time. Part of it she has a problem, but she has no reason to treat me like a child.

I was working with someone and we needed tape to tape back opened products. It was set on the jewelry counter by a supervisor, and she had a problem with it. She moved it saying to us that customers needed to see the jewelry case. She also moved a coffee (asking if it was mine) that wasn't hers. She didn't even sit at that table where the coffee was, so somehow she thinks she owns the space she walks on.
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I've seen similar things happen to my deaf friends before.

At one store, one guy was like... "Hey, know what's stupid? Watch..." *looks at my friend* "Hey! Matt! Hey! Hello!? Matt!" *looks back to co-worker* "See? He can't hear me? Isn't that stupid?" I will tell him that Matt is deaf and a simple tap on his shoulder would be good enough. "What for? It's stupid to have to tap his shoulder. He should be able to hear me! I think this deaf thing is a stupid excuse!" (He ended up getting fired a few weeks later for his similar attitude with all the employees.)
 
ClearSky said:
I am sorry I wasn't clear. It's $1 every friday if we want to wear jeans.
Click to expand...

Is that the casual Friday that you give a dollar that goes to United Way? At one of my jobs, we do that, but we sign up on a form, and it automatically comes out of our paychecks. Then the financial office sends United Way one big check for the amount that was held out of all employee checks. I would check with someone before just giving this woman any money.

I'm sorry you are getting such attitude from these women. Sounds like they just aren't very nice people.
 
Chase said:
ClearSky,

I’m interested in your experience, because the same has happened to me, and I have a theory of the cause and a way out that worked for me.

You didn’t say, but I know you have a cochlear implant, and I suspect you may be shy about talking and have a “deaf accent.”

I can’t hear anything, so I speech read and speak some with bad volume and a bit monotone. Anyway, I don’t speak a great deal. After going totally deaf, I worked many jobs. Library re-stocker . . . wildlife and parks ranger . . . assembly line technician . . . honey extractor . . . and beekeeper.

At almost every job was someone who self-appointed himself or herself to boss me around, even though I was older and better educated. I think the reason was that I'm deaf and unassertive, and each one felt that gave him or her the right to act superior.

The boss always set the person straight, but then came the subtle undermining between hearing co-workers and a deaf one. Other deafies I’ve discussed this with agree with some points.

The theory I have is there is a “deaf honeymoon.” At first (except the one or two bossy ones) everybody is all friendly and super supportive. They all want to know everything about me, all want to learn sign, all go out of their ways to help, and all are my new best friends.

Then after three to six weeks, the honeymoon is over. Most of the problems were started by the bossy ones I refused to let boss me. They would rumor-monger, and soon many found it too hard to have a conversation with me . . . after learning half the alphabet and a few signs they continually screwed up, they’re all done learning . . . it’s too hard and too long to explain things to me, so I get excluded from the info loop . . . they avoid including me in work or social groups . . . and except for a few new and true friends, I’m pretty much shunned.

The way out I want to share is in all but one job I was able to work through the collapse of the “honeymoon” period. Most of the time, I worked hard and tried to minimize mistakes, though the first to admit my own errors. Petty rumors I ignored, but those affecting my job, I traced to the source and exposed whomever started it.

Each time I was slowly able to expand my small group of supporters and win back friends. On two jobs I was able to get promoted to where I was my own boss, and on one job I became the foreman. In that one, the bossy one who tried to put me down quit.

I know some will laugh at the “honeymoon” analogy, but similar things must have happened to other deafies-on-the-job.
Click to expand...


I am not laughing at the "honeymoon" analogy cuz it is SO true! It has happened to me too often which is why I prefer to interact with people like me cuz I know I will eventually be shunned by people in the hearing world after the "honeymoon" is over. It happened to me all of my life and it can take a serious toll on a person's self-esteem.


Those people need a good hard slap in the face whenever they treat you like a child, ClearSky. Sometimes I wish I can do that cuz I think it would make them think twice and show me the same respect as they to do others.
 
Dixie said:
A co-worker kept splashing water on me from the meat and her gloves everytime she put a butterfly breast on the belt. I finally looked up at her and I said - DAMMIT that is the LAST time. Then I told her off from one end to the other. She never said another word to me the remainder of the day. And yes a line foreman was standing nearby and heard every last obscenity. The foreman was laughing and was actually glad that someone finally set this co-worker straight.
I laughed too. Great post!
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Hello. Thanks for your responses. I still don't know what to do.

The foreign woman is not pushing much on the boxes most of the time (she tries thought), except that she leaves them sitting there for me to push them. Well, I think that's better than her aggressively pushing the boxes. When the manager's around, she wouldn't do that. I think she's too comfortable at work.

Like today, we had to clean up (we do daily). I was sweeping up my last pile of stuff on the floor. She comes with one hand out demanding my dust pan. I said, "I am not finished." She looks at me like how dare, and I said, "I still need it" showing her my pile of stuff. She said, "you're mean." I said, "you're mean, too." Geez! She doesn't think she's mean or what? What's wrong with her? I tried to offer her my dust pan when I was finished, and she ignores me. I was like..fine. She always wants me to just drop what I am doing and do what she wants.

I didn't wear jeans today. The old woman came to me, "you owe me a dollar for last week" and left. I was....... She talked to me like I was a thing. She's so rude.

Sorry, I didn't get around to ask my boss. I forget every time she comes, which isn't often. I am guessing that she collects the money because she asked someone else for it and had money in her hands.

If she's the money collector, I will not owe her no dollar because she's been rude to me about it. She never asked me kindly. She just ask me like a child and was rude to me with the magazines. She looked at my pants today, and is like, "I am gonna get her!" I ignore her. I am not gonna pay her nothing simply because she was always rude about it and never introduced herself like real people do.

I think it's weird that she doesn't have a notebook pad or can to collect the money safely. I mean, I'd think jobs do this. I wouldn't trust her carrying my $1 and have her walk out with it in her hands without documenting or anything.

This is not the United Way. It's called Save The Children.
 
I wouldnt give this woman a dime. She's probably taking advantag of the boss as well. I think you and your boss need to sit down in private and discuss this- write it on the palm of your hand if you have to so you will not forget.

This needs to stop. If the boss is unwilling to help then you need to start actively looking for a new place of employment that will treat you with more respect.
 
ClearSky said:
Hello. Thanks for your responses. I still don't know what to do.

The foreign woman is not pushing much on the boxes most of the time (she tries thought), except that she leaves them sitting there for me to push them. Well, I think that's better than her aggressively pushing the boxes. When the manager's around, she wouldn't do that. I think she's too comfortable at work.

Like today, we had to clean up (we do daily). I was sweeping up my last pile of stuff on the floor. She comes with one hand out demanding my dust pan. I said, "I am not finished." She looks at me like how dare, and I said, "I still need it" showing her my pile of stuff. She said, "you're mean." I said, "you're mean, too." Geez! She doesn't think she's mean or what? What's wrong with her? I tried to offer her my dust pan when I was finished, and she ignores me. I was like..fine. She always wants me to just drop what I am doing and do what she wants.

I didn't wear jeans today. The old woman came to me, "you owe me a dollar for last week" and left. I was....... She talked to me like I was a thing. She's so rude.

Sorry, I didn't get around to ask my boss. I forget every time she comes, which isn't often. I am guessing that she collects the money because she asked someone else for it and had money in her hands.

If she's the money collector, I will not owe her no dollar because she's been rude to me about it. She never asked me kindly. She just ask me like a child and was rude to me with the magazines. She looked at my pants today, and is like, "I am gonna get her!" I ignore her. I am not gonna pay her nothing simply because she was always rude about it and never introduced herself like real people do.

I think it's weird that she doesn't have a notebook pad or can to collect the money safely. I mean, I'd think jobs do this. I wouldn't trust her carrying my $1 and have her walk out with it in her hands without documenting or anything.

This is not the United Way. It's called Save The Children.
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Does your work have security cameras that can prove the things she's doing?

That way, if you were to talk to your boss about her laziness... you would have proof if asked.

As for the money, does she submit a weekly report or anything to verify that she paid that charity?

It shouldn't be mandatory that everyone pay for charity. It's their money, they should decide whether they want to pay for charity. To encourage paying for charity, a list should be made showing people who have paid for charity (doesn't have to include how much was paid).
 
I agree with Vampy, you shouldn't be made to give money to a charity, especially with so many of them being running scams where the children or the families of the children never see a dime of the money donated. To give yourself some leverage on that, check into the charity you are paying into, if it's a scam report that fact immediately to your boss. I also would not be giving cash money directly to this woman especially if no proper records are being kept.

Im sure there is a law somewhere that it is illegal to force employees to give to charities or other private groups.

Also when you talk to your boss to report these incidences, get it in writing. This will back you up later on when it turns into a he-said-she-said thing.
 
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