Hearing girl scared of rejection....

Nesmuth said:
Hearing gals are keepers! Deaf or HOH gals are as good as 'catch and release' because they usually come with tons of baggage.

Richard
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Oh, I can't believe someone of your intelligence can be guilty of stereotyping. There are hearing women who come with baggage as well as deaf/hh women. Everyone, male and female, carries baggage to some extent so a sweeping generalization like that doesn't reflect well on you. It's how you handle the baggage that determines the direction of the relationship.
 
shel90 said:
If u partied with deaf guys in Phx, there is a good chance u probably met my brother. If u want, I can PM u his name. LOL!

Sheba...I am from AZ too. :) Well..I agree with Vampy..if u understand deaf people's needs and value them just as u value yourself then it should be all good but sometimes we dont get what we want. After my divorce, I vowed that I would never be with a hearing man again and only be with deaf men but I dated them for 4 years. Nothing clicked and I fell in love with one of my good friends who happens to be hearing. Cant control the heart but good luck! If u live in Phx..steer clear from my brother..he is a troublemaker! JK! :giggle: Nah..he is a good guy but likes to be single toooo much right now anyway.
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lol do you have a bro or a relative here in canada??(psst how old is your bro??) lmaoo ( i had to throw this in lmao) I don't think it really matters it's the heart as well if the communication is great be it!!!
 
Defmusicman said:


Oh, I can't believe someone of your intelligence can be guilty of stereotyping. There are hearing women who come with baggage as well as deaf/hh women. Everyone, male and female, carries baggage to some extent so a sweeping generalization like that doesn't reflect well on you. It's how you handle the baggage that determines the direction of the relationship.
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Well Said!!!! smile
 
shel90 said:
I was referring to Richard's comments.

I had men treat me like shit but I don't be a bitch about it. Life is not easy and only we have the power to change it.

I don't call men names nor generalize my bad experiences to all hearing men.

Iam sorry u had bad experiences with deaf women.

We all go thru shit with certain people but to generalize the bad people to a whole group of people is wrong and that's what Richard did. I will speak up and if that makes me a bitch then so be it. It won't stop me from voicing my opinions.
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I agreed with you shel... either deaf or hearing or men or women there's always something goes wrong, not all are the same gender... we just picked the wrong people like I did but it comes with experience knowing what you want from your partner - never settled for less!!!...
 
Deaf258 said:
No offense to you. But you should be mad at the women and not at me.

My Deaf exwife left me 4 times before finally divorcing me. She ended up marrying her second husband who raped her in high school! Later on, she divorced him as well after having a kid with him. She is a sick woman who thinks it is normal for the man to beat the shit out of her. She left me because I wouldn't hurt her when she wanted me to hurt her.

I'm glad the sick bitch left for good!

I also had a Deaf exgirlfriend who had TOOOOOOOO high expectations that seemed so unrealistic and believes that sex is not okay at all before, during AND after marriage! She also had a lot of rules, rules and rules. I was patient and loving. But it wouldn't work.

And you say "Want life to be easy for u?" Don't be such a bitch about it. There are some decent, honest men who have done their damnedest to be there for the gals, but.. OMG! Some of those Deaf gals just need to back the fuck off, take a chill pill and go see a therapist!
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Have you thought it was not their fault... Just wondering why you agreed to marry that "sick gal" and agreed to go out with that dominating woman?

I am divorced, but it is also my fault for ignoring "red flags" that popped up. I said to myself, "I think she will make improvements, and change" Boy how wrong I was... This time I will pay attention to "Red flags" I broke off one with a serious red flag that I cannot tolerate.

The "Buck" stops here... the blame goes to the right person... not the other.
 
Sheba said:
I have been signing for about a year now. I am still learning but feel comfortable in my abilities. Anyway, what I want to ask: Are there deaf guys out there that would be comfortable dating a hearing gal? I have met so many wonderful people but as of yet am too scared to ask any of the guys out much less flirt with them, I guess I am just scared of rejection... If my communication skills are not as good as his will he get frustrated? Will he think it is not worth the trouble?...Hmm......
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Hello Sheba... if you communicate got through with difficulty, it may be better to back off and make some modifications. Usually when a hearing person goes out with a deaf person, make sure that the deaf guy has some "hearing" background like living with hearing family, understands hearing jokes, understands hearing tendacies... but at the end, you may end up having to learn to sign fluently because it may be the only way to communciate. Also do not show any frustration, it may discourage the deaf guy. Caution: there are many deaf guys who think they are compatible with hearing ladies but really they don't know what they are getting into.
 
halford said:
Have you thought it was not their fault... Just wondering why you agreed to marry that "sick gal" and agreed to go out with that dominating woman?

I am divorced, but it is also my fault for ignoring "red flags" that popped up. I said to myself, "I think she will make improvements, and change" Boy how wrong I was... This time I will pay attention to "Red flags" I broke off one with a serious red flag that I cannot tolerate.

The "Buck" stops here... the blame goes to the right person... not the other.
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I didn't find out how sick she was until after I married her. After the divorce, I realized she was never honest with me, to herself or to anyone else in her life. During our marriage, she has always compared me to other husbands, riticized me and belittled me. I really bothered me she acted in such a way before marriage and then changed to her true form after I said "I do". That's when I cannot handle being with another woman because of the mental games they play.
 
Deaf258 said:
I didn't find out how sick she was until after I married her. After the divorce, I realized she was never honest with me, to herself or to anyone else in her life. During our marriage, she has always compared me to other husbands, riticized me and belittled me. I really bothered me she acted in such a way before marriage and then changed to her true form after I said "I do". That's when I cannot handle being with another woman because of the mental games they play.
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There are always red flags. Even if they are so concealed, its our blindness that prevented us from seeing them. Sometimes we are scared to face the truth... sometimes we love them too much and we ignored the warning signs. Mine hid hers well... and i didnt accept the truth as well.

yea I know people do change after they said their vows. Mine did...

Remember not all women are the same as our wives. I do not believe that all women are the same. Youre saying that you cannot handle another woman because of the mental games they play... maybe its your gentle personality that makes them dominating over you? You gonna stand up for yourself in a gentlemanly way. Women will love you and respect you more.

FYI many gay men have tried to play mental games with me... all of them did not work and I never turned.
 
halford said:
There are always red flags. Even if they are so concealed, its our blindness that prevented us from seeing them. Sometimes we are scared to face the truth... sometimes we love them too much and we ignored the warning signs. Mine hid hers well... and i didnt accept the truth as well.

yea I know people do change after they said their vows. Mine did...

Remember not all women are the same as our wives. I do not believe that all women are the same. Youre saying that you cannot handle another woman because of the mental games they play... maybe its your gentle personality that makes them dominating over you? You gonna stand up for yourself in a gentlemanly way. Women will love you and respect you more.

FYI many gay men have tried to play mental games with me... all of them did not work and I never turned.
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I just don't have the time or patience to play their games anymore. It's not just my exwife, but other women in my life. I was raised to be a gentleman and treat women well. And you're right, I do have a gentle personality, or used to. I tried standing up for myself, and do they listen? No. So, enough is enough.
 
Deaf258 said:
I just don't have the time or patience to play their games anymore. It's not just my exwife, but other women in my life. I was raised to be a gentleman and treat women well. And you're right, I do have a gentle personality, or used to. I tried standing up for myself, and do they listen? No. So, enough is enough.
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nay, don't give up. You may need to read and learn about women. You can be tooooo gentleman which bores women. Amazing enough most women like Jerks better than gentleman. You can be a jerk and be a gentleman at the same time. It works! You may not like it but it dooes work.

I know honest women will agree with this...
 
halford said:
nay, don't give up. You may need to read and learn about women. You can be tooooo gentleman which bores women. Amazing enough most women like Jerks better than gentleman. You can be a jerk and be a gentleman at the same time. It works! You may not like it but it dooes work.

I know honest women will agree with this...
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There are fewer honest women out there. I've lost interest.
 
Nesmuth said:
Hearing gals are keepers! Deaf or HOH gals are as good as 'catch and release' because they usually come with tons of baggage.

Richard
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FalseEveryone has baggage in one or other way. Hearing isn't perfect no matter how badly you want to believe that they re. Sorry pal, they re pretty much same like deaf people in term of everything except for holding the powerful positions in world.
 
Deaf258 said:
There are fewer honest women out there. I've lost interest.
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Oh like who? *heehee*

Deaf 258 is a true gentleman. My husband and I misses him as our roommates and our friend. We hope we will see him soon! :)
 
Originally Posted by Nesmuth
Hearing gals are keepers! Deaf or HOH gals are as good as 'catch and release' because they usually come with tons of baggage.

Richard

I know many hearing women who are in prison, and many hearing single mothers have babies... and many hearing women have adulterous affairs. You want those women?
 
halford said:
nay, don't give up. You may need to read and learn about women. You can be tooooo gentleman which bores women. Amazing enough most women like Jerks better than gentleman. You can be a jerk and be a gentleman at the same time. It works! You may not like it but it dooes work.

I know honest women will agree with this...
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Whoa...I will refuse to date men who are jerks. I would pick a gentle man over a jerk or "bad boy" any day. I guess it different for everyone though. A gentlness and sweet personality is a big turn on for me, I think. Too bad you met those deaf women that treated you badly. I would not do that to my man if I ever get one, or at least try my best not to.
But again, I may be biased because I was never in a relationship before.
 
Silentwolfdog said:
Whoa...I will refuse to date men who are jerks. I would pick a gentle man over a jerk or "bad boy" any day. I guess it different for everyone though. A gentlness and sweet personality is a big turn on for me, I think. Too bad you met those deaf women that treated you badly. I would not do that to my man if I ever get one, or at least try my best not to.
But again, I may be biased because I was never in a relationship before.
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Thats good! A combination of "jerk" and gentleman is what most women want. You do not want a complete JERK! True, most women do not want a complete gentleman because of its predictibility. It becomes boring for many. Men often need to challenge their women to keep them on their toes and the women love it.
 
Let make it clear first. Can you give an example of what a jerk man will do, or to be more exact, combined of jerk and gentleman.

I don't see why anyone would want a jerk when they can get romantic man instead. Romantic man can figure out how to keep woman excited in a good way instead of doing thing in a negative way like what jerk would do.

I want a romantic man who can keep me busy, not a jerk who keep me busy in a wrong way.

One need a something called "creativity."
 
i don't know why i reread this topic but here i am.

Cane Corso said:
Don't worry if you are nervous about asking one of those guys out. You should create a friendship first and give some "flirty" hints. Let's see if it catches a guy's attention. If he flirts back to you, there is a possibility that he shows some interest in you. My suggestion, I would not ask him out right away. I prefer to play a "smart" game first before I know for sure that he likes me back. I would just flirt and chat a lot with this specific guy. I would wait and see what happens. And plus, make sure this guy makes the same effort back to you to show that he is interested. If he doesn't do that, I wouldn't bother him anymore. (Just a little of common sense)
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create a friendship first? i think it's a bad idea. especially for men since women have the zone - for men, it called "hell", for women it called "friend zone". a summary of the "friend zone" from the wiki -

A woman does not easily change her mind and become sexually attracted to a man she has already placed in her friend zone.

it happens to me before and to many men as well. it was a hell of a place for me. if i want a woman, i wouldn't make a friend with that woman because once i do, she will dump me in her friend zone [or hell for me]. i'll never get out of the hell unless i'm being a jerk to her. for this very "hell" or "friend zone" reason, many men are relucting to make friends with women they like or are interested in. some men argued that the "friend zone" is worse than hell.

the game you mentioned, what kind of "smart" game? is it the same game in my thread? i wonder - what's wrong with honesty and boldness? i just wonder.

I hope my advice helps. Anyone who dislikes me is welcome to insult my suggestion!:
:rl:

i'm not sure why you added a statement like that but i don't dislike you nor your opinion -- i think it's pretty good for young adults. just differ with and want to take on your advice, opinion or suggestion.


more on the "friend zone" - [link] and [link] by the loveshack forums.
 
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