How to Stop People from Gossiping?

sequoias

sequoias

Active Member
Premium Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2004
Messages
22,242
Reaction score
19
Well, it's been a long story. My gf and her old friend from 2004 became enemies. I cannot share exactly what happened but how do you stop that guy from gossiping and telling people not to be friends with my gf, even he is one of the guys who run the class committee and last year was supposed to be a class reunion but they advised people not to invite her, wtf?! He has been doing this since 2004 and still will not stop doing it. Leaving a person alone and stopping talking with someone will not make rumors stop. It does sound serious to me.
 
It's like when you bring a feather pillow to the top of 10th floor building, and you stabbed it with a knife and let thousands feathers go out. My question, were you able to go down and pick them all up? Impossible. Same thing with rumors. All you have to find that person who started it, and approach that person appropriately. IF that person kept talking all over again and again, then that person do have a serious OCD.
 
authentic said:
It's like when you bring a feather pillow to the top of 10th floor building, and you stabbed it with a knife and let thousands feathers go out. My question, were you able to go down and pick them all up? Impossible. Same thing with rumors. All you have to find that person who started it, and approach that person appropriately. IF that person kept talking all over again and again, then that person do have a serious OCD.
Click to expand...

We know who keeps going and going since 2004 which was her old ex best friend turned against on her. There is no way to stop him....maybe he has serious OCD.

Good picture on how you explain that.
 
authentic said:
It's like when you bring a feather pillow to the top of 10th floor building, and you stabbed it with a knife and let thousands feathers go out. My question, were you able to go down and pick them all up? Impossible. Same thing with rumors. All you have to find that person who started it, and approach that person appropriately. IF that person kept talking all over again and again, then that person do have a serious OCD.
Click to expand...

I second that... I would do that. I usually ignore gossips/rumors until they ask me if it is true or not, then I would answer their questions. Sometimes, I may feel tired of ask me the same questions again and again, that, sometimes, would make me want to update a status to speak up for myself.
 
Some people are spiteful, even hateful and never let go of the past....ur g/f has every right to go to the class reunion!

Been through something like this also, and it does hurt. To make the long story short, I went anyway! And enjoyed my time, even spoke to the person who was just a malicious gossipier....held my head up high and smiled.....he was mad! HAHA (I'll never forget his face). and a *hint*, his name was Ralph....from NCSD...(I doubt he is here at AD, tho')!...His brain should be fried by now with all the hate, gossip and rumors he carries around.....

My way of thinking is....some people themselves have no life, and they get their enjoyment out of hurting people and holding onto things from the past. Whenever they run out of gossip or rumors, they will even gossip and start rumors about anybody they remember...all lies. Makes them feel "important"!...

I'm sure your g/f is above all of this...tell her to hold her head high, smile and ignore all the bs.....even laugh about it, if possible.
 
This is a tough one. I think if you let the gossiper know it getting you and your g/f is might encourage they to keep it up. It is a shame some people have nothing better to with their time. Hopefully people realize the gossiper is really a big fat liar !!
 
people that knows about the fricton with your GF and former friend. How many people actually listen to the gossips. Probably a few but the rest do not get invovled.

I would go ahead and go to the reunion and hold my head up high and ignore the gossip.
 
Some people don't have a life of their own, so they have to get involved in other's lives just to feel that they are included. They are really very sad and maladjusted people.
 
sequoias said:
We know who keeps going and going since 2004 which was her old ex best friend turned against on her. There is no way to stop him....maybe he has serious OCD.

Good picture on how you explain that.
Click to expand...

:ty:

What about giving that person your "fake" lawyer business card, and tell that person to contact him. :giggle:
 
I just use the principal of "Kill them with Kindness".
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Yes, ignore the gossip. If some one is so pathetic that they find my life interesting, I pity her.
 
I had this issue once... then I did something that made ALL of it stop.

Feed the gossip-maker with obvious lies about you... Then the people who know you will then correct him and he will become insignificant.

:)

This stops everything because of several things - mainly it shows you don't care, secondary, it shows the person is willing to lie and people don't like that.

It only continues because YOU care and it bothers you.
 
Yes...that's what we were thinking...is ignore them and move on. He just wouldn't move on, that's the problem. He just likes to frame my gf which she didn't do anything at all. I don't know what has gotten in him. Maybe he developed a OCD on that issue. I would love to see him rot in jail as long he lives. Her van got scratches all over it few months ago and she thinks it might be him that did it. We don't have any evidence on that part. She knows him since they were little kids and then someone turns against her. Can you believe that? That is really sad.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

If the person continues with stalkish behavior, you may consider getting a restraining order. Only if he destroys your property or threatens you. It would be wise to gather evidence just in case. There may be some emotional instability if it continues.
 
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

If the person continues with stalkish behavior, you may consider getting a restraining order. Only if he destroys your property or threatens you. It would be wise to gather evidence just in case. There may be some emotional instability if it continues.
Click to expand...

Yeah, the evidence which is the problem. My car rear spoiler broke in half and we don't know who did it. I don't know how he knows where we live and how know what car I have. IT's hard to tell who did it. Damn Iowans.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Have you considered a video survellience system? Pretty inexpensive from costco. Also, record the dates and events. Try to include disinterested witnesses.
 
sequoias said:
Well, it's been a long story. My gf and her old friend from 2004 became enemies. I cannot share exactly what happened but how do you stop that guy from gossiping and telling people not to be friends with my gf, even he is one of the guys who run the class committee and last year was supposed to be a class reunion but they advised people not to invite her, wtf?! He has been doing this since 2004 and still will not stop doing it. Leaving a person alone and stopping talking with someone will not make rumors stop. It does sound serious to me.
Click to expand...

simple - lol at it and handle it tactfully with grace.

Rule #1 - never... ever.... get defensive. once you do, you already lost.
 
I agree with RR, it's really pathetic for a person who initiate the gossip. You know I been there and done that because of that person jealousy. I just simply ignore it and I want to have fun meeting all those people. If someone came up to you and asked if the rumor was true, I just simply said..(with a little laugh) "I feel sorry for this person, It's really pathetic and wasting his/her time. I have no idea where he/she get this from..." Then hold your head up high..
 
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Have you considered a video survellience system? Pretty inexpensive from costco. Also, record the dates and events. Try to include disinterested witnesses.
Click to expand...

Not feasible where I currently live at.
 
I don't think most of the advice I'm getting does work. He is the one of the worst in the world. Like I said, probably has a bad case of OCD. That is why I decided to post to ask for some advice that I have not thought of. There is worst in the world for everything A to Z.
 
Back
Top