deafbajagal
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2007
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I was heading to turn in some signed forms for my car insurance (yes, go ahead and snicker at the irony of this) when the rear tire of my car exploded. And since the road was wet, my car hydroplaned across the road, skidded across the midland, and somehow...words cannot describe it, somehow FLEW in a ditch, with hardly any scratches or dents. The ditch was made of concrete, and it was at least four feet high. I was stuck. The doors would not open and all I could do was call for help.
Except my phone battery was already dying. Yeah, like in the movies.
So I called the police and told them I was in a ditch...somewhere. Not sure where, but somewhere on I-(x), northbound...in a concrete ditch. The dispatcher barked at me, "Can you be more specific?!" I paused and answered..."The ditch is ...uh, white."
So I waited...I decided to post quickly on Facebook, page my husband, and then wait for him to answer...except it's in the mornings. Most normal people get up during the morning...brush their teeth, drink coffee, etc. Not him. You keep a good arm length away from him if he has to wake up before noon. And here I am...more than an arm's length. But it's not nearly noon. So I paged another friend, and told him to tell him to wake up and answer his phone...I needed help! But in a panic about my phone dying on me, I told him I would answer in an hour, while I hoped the cops could find me in a "white ditch" somewhere. I turned off the phone before I winced...I forgot to tell him about the arm length rule. Uh, oh. So I waited. And waited.
And waited. And waited. And I needed to pee. Not just the kind where that urge comes and you can hold it. The kind where you start to truly respect Depends. I needed a Depend right now.
So I waited. Then realized I was hot so I turned on the car to roll down the window...a new problem surfaced. My car wouldn't start! I was stuck!
I was in the panic room, except a car version. And it was hot, and I was stuck. I tried not to think of myself as a skeleton, holding on the steering wheel, with a hearing aid on and a sidekick in one hand. I could imagine people standing over my car, shaking their heads. "That poor girl. She should have been more specific about WHERE she was...maybe it wouldn't have taken seven years to find her." Another smug person might comment, "I always make sure my phone is fully charged."
As I was about to go in full panic mode, I saw the most beautiful light...sparkly blue. The POLICE arrived! I waved and tried to motion I was deaf. The man gave me a thumbs up as a woman appeared beside him.
A sign language interpreter!!! Apparently the dispatcher had a hutch I needed one. So I was able to tell him that my car was stuck, as if he didn't know, and that it also wouldn't start. He gave me another thumbs up.
So we waited for the tow truck guy, and I opened my phone up to see my husband's message. "Where are you?!" Yikes...and then I remembered my card was at home. And the only card I had to pay for the tow truck, and eventually the tire, was...empty. So I quickly typed, praying the phone wouldn't die, "Go to the bank bf it close! Get $ and deposit into my acct! Asap! My ph batt is almost dead" He paged me back, "Where are you?
The tow truck guy was talking with the police guy while the interpreter was flirting with the fire guys. I banged on the window and she motioned for me to wait by pointing her finger. I showed her another finger. "Charge my car! I need the window down!" At this point I was ready to strip, and pee in a McDonald's coffee cup because I was burning up and need to pee.
So the fire dude somehow got cables, which were the longest cables I ever saw in my life, and jumped my car. As it came to life, I rolled down my window. He motioned for me to try to climb out. I tried, and it wasn't a good outcome. At least they had a good laugh out of it.
Do I waited while the tow guy talked some more. Finally I asked, "What's the issue?" The interpreter answered, "They are talking about how to get your car out with a special lift." I wanted to throw a shoe at her face for being stupid. She's supposed to be INTERPRETING, which means I'm not asking HER but one of the guys who are having a discussion. This is important because now I'm not only hot and need to pee...I'm starving.
And when I'm hungry, nobody is happy .
Somehow word got around and I looked up to see a firefighter witha rope tied to a McDonald's bag...and he was easing it down to my window! A Big Mac! Now THAT's a true hero!
I opened my phone to see if my husband made progess. "Where are you? Fucking Tell ME!" This isn't going good at all. Hmm, couples therapy session appointment card in his Christmas stocking might be good. I'll return the socks. (Love you P! *winks*). Then, for the final time, my phone died.
Four hours later I was lifted out of the ditch. I thanked everyone, got a new tire , and drove to the insurance place.
The lady smiled warmly, "Hi, honey. Thanks. I was worried you'd gotten stuck in traffic."
Yeah. Something like that.
Except my phone battery was already dying. Yeah, like in the movies.
So I called the police and told them I was in a ditch...somewhere. Not sure where, but somewhere on I-(x), northbound...in a concrete ditch. The dispatcher barked at me, "Can you be more specific?!" I paused and answered..."The ditch is ...uh, white."
So I waited...I decided to post quickly on Facebook, page my husband, and then wait for him to answer...except it's in the mornings. Most normal people get up during the morning...brush their teeth, drink coffee, etc. Not him. You keep a good arm length away from him if he has to wake up before noon. And here I am...more than an arm's length. But it's not nearly noon. So I paged another friend, and told him to tell him to wake up and answer his phone...I needed help! But in a panic about my phone dying on me, I told him I would answer in an hour, while I hoped the cops could find me in a "white ditch" somewhere. I turned off the phone before I winced...I forgot to tell him about the arm length rule. Uh, oh. So I waited. And waited.
And waited. And waited. And I needed to pee. Not just the kind where that urge comes and you can hold it. The kind where you start to truly respect Depends. I needed a Depend right now.
So I waited. Then realized I was hot so I turned on the car to roll down the window...a new problem surfaced. My car wouldn't start! I was stuck!
I was in the panic room, except a car version. And it was hot, and I was stuck. I tried not to think of myself as a skeleton, holding on the steering wheel, with a hearing aid on and a sidekick in one hand. I could imagine people standing over my car, shaking their heads. "That poor girl. She should have been more specific about WHERE she was...maybe it wouldn't have taken seven years to find her." Another smug person might comment, "I always make sure my phone is fully charged."
As I was about to go in full panic mode, I saw the most beautiful light...sparkly blue. The POLICE arrived! I waved and tried to motion I was deaf. The man gave me a thumbs up as a woman appeared beside him.
A sign language interpreter!!! Apparently the dispatcher had a hutch I needed one. So I was able to tell him that my car was stuck, as if he didn't know, and that it also wouldn't start. He gave me another thumbs up.
So we waited for the tow truck guy, and I opened my phone up to see my husband's message. "Where are you?!" Yikes...and then I remembered my card was at home. And the only card I had to pay for the tow truck, and eventually the tire, was...empty. So I quickly typed, praying the phone wouldn't die, "Go to the bank bf it close! Get $ and deposit into my acct! Asap! My ph batt is almost dead" He paged me back, "Where are you?
The tow truck guy was talking with the police guy while the interpreter was flirting with the fire guys. I banged on the window and she motioned for me to wait by pointing her finger. I showed her another finger. "Charge my car! I need the window down!" At this point I was ready to strip, and pee in a McDonald's coffee cup because I was burning up and need to pee.
So the fire dude somehow got cables, which were the longest cables I ever saw in my life, and jumped my car. As it came to life, I rolled down my window. He motioned for me to try to climb out. I tried, and it wasn't a good outcome. At least they had a good laugh out of it.
Do I waited while the tow guy talked some more. Finally I asked, "What's the issue?" The interpreter answered, "They are talking about how to get your car out with a special lift." I wanted to throw a shoe at her face for being stupid. She's supposed to be INTERPRETING, which means I'm not asking HER but one of the guys who are having a discussion. This is important because now I'm not only hot and need to pee...I'm starving.
And when I'm hungry, nobody is happy .
Somehow word got around and I looked up to see a firefighter witha rope tied to a McDonald's bag...and he was easing it down to my window! A Big Mac! Now THAT's a true hero!
I opened my phone to see if my husband made progess. "Where are you? Fucking Tell ME!" This isn't going good at all. Hmm, couples therapy session appointment card in his Christmas stocking might be good. I'll return the socks. (Love you P! *winks*). Then, for the final time, my phone died.
Four hours later I was lifted out of the ditch. I thanked everyone, got a new tire , and drove to the insurance place.
The lady smiled warmly, "Hi, honey. Thanks. I was worried you'd gotten stuck in traffic."
Yeah. Something like that.
