Here is a bit about me:
I'm a 45 year old healthy adult male. I've worn hearing aids in both ears for 27 years. My speech is good but in almost all social situations I feel isolated and alone. My have an inherited nerve damage on my mother's side of the family.
I've recently been told that I am legally deaf in my left hear and I have a severe/profound loss in my right ear. The audiologist has suggested an cochlear implant and that scares the hell out of me. I've got an MBA in finance but have been unemployed for the last 9 months after being laid off as an insurance agent. I have applied to over 300 jobs with only 3 interviews. I just got married 10 months ago and being out of work for the last 9 months have made my wife scared and she has lost her respect for me as a man because I am not providing for the family.
I do not have children (my wife has 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters here in town) and my only sibling and my mother recently died from cancer and I am not close with my father. Last month I lost my maternal grandmother whom also have hereditary nerve damage and I was closer to her than my own mother and was the only person whom I could talk to.
I do not know sign language and cannot perform many jobs that rely on fairly frequent conversation (especially over the phone). In a few months I will exhaust my unemployment benefits and I keep our home afloat financially from unemployment benefits and a small amount of savings I am quickly exhausting.
In most social situations I feel out of place and unaccepted. My family basically consist of my wife and she will probably end up divorcing me if I cannot keep food on the table and heat and electricity on in the house.
The only companionship I have is from my labrador retriever and I have becoming increasingly more and more depressed and lacking a minimal amount of hope for my future.
My wife is from Russia and was a medical doctor there for many years but none of her credentials transferred. She has a tech job in ICU at a local hospital but she barely grosses $9/hourly and nets around $5/hourly. She makes just enough to make her consolidated credit cards payment and her car payment and I pay for all other household bills.
Vocationally, I do not know what to do. I have no one to talk to. I am on anti-depressents and think about suicide on almost a daily basis. I've tried working on my faith (Christian) but so far I cannot seem to connect with the Almighty in a meaningful way.
I desperately need something to feel good about, that being a job. My wife is very cold and analytical and thinks that I should be able to come up with a way to support us. I cannot express emotion because Russian women are brought up to believe men shouldn't show emotion. I have also turned to self medicating with alcohol (Russians drink often and a lot) which I know is not helping my situation.
I'm stuck between the hearing world and those who are deaf but don't know sign. I don't know what to do but please lend me your advice and pray for me for what it's worth.
Sincerely,
Greg
I'm a 45 year old healthy adult male. I've worn hearing aids in both ears for 27 years. My speech is good but in almost all social situations I feel isolated and alone. My have an inherited nerve damage on my mother's side of the family.
I've recently been told that I am legally deaf in my left hear and I have a severe/profound loss in my right ear. The audiologist has suggested an cochlear implant and that scares the hell out of me. I've got an MBA in finance but have been unemployed for the last 9 months after being laid off as an insurance agent. I have applied to over 300 jobs with only 3 interviews. I just got married 10 months ago and being out of work for the last 9 months have made my wife scared and she has lost her respect for me as a man because I am not providing for the family.
I do not have children (my wife has 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters here in town) and my only sibling and my mother recently died from cancer and I am not close with my father. Last month I lost my maternal grandmother whom also have hereditary nerve damage and I was closer to her than my own mother and was the only person whom I could talk to.
I do not know sign language and cannot perform many jobs that rely on fairly frequent conversation (especially over the phone). In a few months I will exhaust my unemployment benefits and I keep our home afloat financially from unemployment benefits and a small amount of savings I am quickly exhausting.
In most social situations I feel out of place and unaccepted. My family basically consist of my wife and she will probably end up divorcing me if I cannot keep food on the table and heat and electricity on in the house.
The only companionship I have is from my labrador retriever and I have becoming increasingly more and more depressed and lacking a minimal amount of hope for my future.
My wife is from Russia and was a medical doctor there for many years but none of her credentials transferred. She has a tech job in ICU at a local hospital but she barely grosses $9/hourly and nets around $5/hourly. She makes just enough to make her consolidated credit cards payment and her car payment and I pay for all other household bills.
Vocationally, I do not know what to do. I have no one to talk to. I am on anti-depressents and think about suicide on almost a daily basis. I've tried working on my faith (Christian) but so far I cannot seem to connect with the Almighty in a meaningful way.
I desperately need something to feel good about, that being a job. My wife is very cold and analytical and thinks that I should be able to come up with a way to support us. I cannot express emotion because Russian women are brought up to believe men shouldn't show emotion. I have also turned to self medicating with alcohol (Russians drink often and a lot) which I know is not helping my situation.
I'm stuck between the hearing world and those who are deaf but don't know sign. I don't know what to do but please lend me your advice and pray for me for what it's worth.
Sincerely,
Greg
The worst thing you can do is get sucked into drugs and alcohol. 