Why does this have to be so hard?

[sequoias]

That's typical for parents when you live with them. They love you very much and want to make sure you are making the right decisions or you get stuck with something that you can't get out for years. Trust me, a brand new car is not a solution at all. I have NEVER bought a brand new car in my life. You can always get a 2-3 year old car for few thousands less with proven reliabity records on it. A car can lose up to 40 percent of the value in 2 years.

 

[Chevy57]

I know that your parents still love you and you wish to break free from parents. But you spend lot of money for new car, insurance, college tuitons, and travel expense for USA. I believe that you would buy house in 3-5 years. You can't able to made own decisions with parents.

 

[Jiro]

Some of you guys, know me that I am a 22 year old adult in the adult world who can make decisions for himself. I have the feel that my parents is kind of controlling what decision I'd make, but I hate it, it doesn't give me the validity to make my own decision. This impacts with the decision and options of the car I have right now, which is damaged from the impact of the car accident nearly a week ago. The other point is that I still live under their roof and pay board.


What is your opinion in this? I rather make my own decision and give the parents the option to give the support I need not controlling. This is making me

hang in there, man. well based on your posts for past few months, your fiscal responsibility is questionable. That's most likely your parents' main concern about you. You are young and you are earning money but you are not using it responsibly as they'd like, I suppose.

just something to think about

 

[Cheri]

You're still young and your parents may feel a need to guide you because parents have had more life experience and sometimes they do know more. They're just looking out for you because simply they care.

 

[shel90]

About the trip to U.S.A, It may have to be postponed or cancelled, but I am not doing any action on this.

I am not moving out at all, the life at my parents house is just fine. But just that my parents are not saying or discussing what options with me at the moment. Guess I have to wait for the insurance to send me the letter, they have called me last week so they should just hurry up so I can just deal with it.

My car is damaged and it can be repaired but to my decision, I dont want it repaired due it is a old car and it wont be worth the money if I sell it after the repair and the risks (probability) of the engine damage and unforseeable unexpected events with the car. I dont' want to shell more $$ on the damages.

So the option I am looking at is what is it for the best, I pay what damage costs to the mini cooper that I crashed into last week, (it is only the bumper though) my estimate is around $3,500 (I'd be surprised if it is cheaper than I thought) and it would add up the costs of my repair of the damages to my car (has other previous damages) in the short term, I cant just ppay the costs upfront, it is pretty stupid, but I know the accident has been my fault automatically. So thinking logically in the long term, without any issues with a new car would have been better off with my car, in the short term.

Do you know what I am talking about here? I dont like when parents just say 'No, you cant just blah, blah, blah' All I want is to have a discussion and give my options in this situation.

I understand where you are coming from with the car. You are afraid to invest $3,500 in something that may not work much longer. I made that same "fatal" mistake with my old car. I spent about the same on my other old car for a new transmission but in a few months, the engine went kaput so I had to get a new car. I could have used the $3,500 for a down payment on a new car so my $3,500 was a complete waste. I understand your concerns and they are valid.

 

[JamieLynn]

Being a parent isn't easy. They need to learn now that you are capable of making your own decisions. They are there to give you advice, support, etc... but it's your decision. As long as both parties are willing to progress in that aspect you shouldn't have too much troubles... just give them some time

Early twenties was also hard time for me... but not as hard as for some of my friends since I have been rather independant since the age of 13... it was more the part of "legal" responsibilities that was catching up with me when I passed the legal age of being adult.

 

[JClarke]

I understand where you are coming from with the car. You are afraid to invest $3,500 in something that may not work much longer. I made that same "fatal" mistake with my old car. I spent about the same on my other old car for a new transmission but in a few months, the engine went kaput so I had to get a new car. I could have used the $3,500 for a down payment on a new car so my $3,500 was a complete waste. I understand your concerns and they are valid.

That's the concern I have for my Festiva...so once it is dealt with the insurance -- with monthly payments depends on the damage cost (feel it wont be much) and get a new car instead in the long term.

 

[Phillips]

Tell and remind your parent that you re older enough! Probably, They forget that you are 22 years old? :shrug:

Good luck!

 

[MoonDrifter]

Your parents love you. That's the bottom line. Be glad that they care about you. I'm sure that if you let them know what you need, they'd be willing to listen. If not, chances are that they still worry about your ability to manage your responsibilities to the extent that they will take control of your decisions. As frustrating as it is, let it go and think about why your parents are behaving the way they do. Give yourself some time to understand their reasons and think of ways that you can demonstrate more responsibility to them. I'm 22 as well and my parents still treat me like a 12 year old, but I'm still doing what I want to do on my own terms because I've shown them that I'm capable of holding my own weight and make them happy by helping out around the house. I know they would have a very hard time living without me cause I'm the one who fixes their computers and some things that they couldn't do otherwise. So there's a compromise that was reached between me and my parents. As long as I continue to help them out around the house, I get to do whatever I want on my own time.

In the end, we're growing up and our parents don't like it.

 

[Grummer]

parents are getting older too, they dont like being reminded of their mortality and perhaps they bawk at the idea of a brand-new car, maybe a 1-2-3 year old car is what they are thinking of, the idea is that, for say you own the next car for 5 years, each years you owned it is 'split by 5 years of the amount you paid- $24,000 (but make it 25,000 for that easier to grasp of the maths example here ok?)' of that 5 years, you work it out as $5,000 per year just to own it.

Now, then put this next to a lightly-used car, do the same maths you're looking at like say $15,000 for it. Own it for 5 years, would work out as $3,000 per year ok

then consider each year you saved $2,000, for 5 years that amounts to $10,000 in your pocket.

I would bet you that by 2 years down the track that brand new car feels just like another car, while the lightly used one is gonna feel the same at 3 years, except you would save 10 GRAND.
It is well known that as soon as you got the car out the door brand-new (say 25,000) you effectively have lost $5,000 immediately for the the privelege of being the first owner, then 6 months down another $5,000 is gone, that's effectively $10,000 'gone' already you wont get it back, whereas the used car... you lose alot less and there is a chance to sell it later for a modest return but it will still never be at the level as a 'refund' unless its called a Ferrari or similar...(those top-grade sports cars costs thousands to run, not just the gas, i wont mention it here but lets say a fanbelt change would send you back at a minimum of $2,000 easy...)
So there, its all comes down to what you want to do, be the first owner of the car, (tune ups are great, it brings the performance right up- unreal- but i guess that depends on what it is)then again a very lightly used car will give you pretty much the SAME enjoyment, even the tuneups if the warrenty is transferrable and 'extended' somewhat. That's more homework for you to do too, if you really want to know what's the BEST deal you can get...
over to you, and good luck and dont tail-gate (driving too close to the back of the car in front of you) so this kind of prang wont happen again (which as you found out, is a bloody big nuisence).

 

[JClarke]

This has been discussed this morning and I would like this thread closed. Thanks.

 

[Calvin]

Mod note:

Thread's closed at the creator request.

This has been discussed this morning and I would like this thread closed. Thanks.