Why does this have to be so hard?

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JClarke

JClarke

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Some of you guys, know me that I am a 22 year old adult in the adult world who can make decisions for himself. I have the feel that my parents is kind of controlling what decision I'd make, but I hate it, it doesn't give me the validity to make my own decision. This impacts with the decision and options of the car I have right now, which is damaged from the impact of the car accident nearly a week ago. The other point is that I still live under their roof and pay board.


What is your opinion in this? I rather make my own decision and give the parents the option to give the support I need not controlling. This is making me :mad2:
 
Are you paying for the car all by yourself?
 
shel90 said:
Are you paying for the car all by yourself?
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I have not decided on what will happen with the cars. But yes, if I buy a new car, I will pay on my own.
 
JClarke said:
I have not decided on what will happen with the cars. But yes, if I buy a new car, I will pay on my own.
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Then your parents should back off as it is your money and your car. It sounds like they are having trouble letting go of their control over you?

However, you are right...at 22 years old, you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions without your parents' influence.
 
shel90 said:
Then your parents should back off as it is your money and your car. It sounds like they are having trouble letting go of their control over you?

However, you are right...at 22 years old, you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions without your parents' influence.
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Thank you, Shel.

I have done some research myself and see if I am capable to afford this, and according to what I found, I can.
 
Sounds like your parents love you very much. I do not know if they are trying to control you or offer good advice.

But overall, just tell them to back off and let you make your own choices. Advice is good, but being pushy is not.

Are you still living with your parents? That also can make it hellish.
 
Babyblue said:
Sounds like your parents love you very much. I do not know if they are trying to control you or offer good advice.

But overall, just tell them to back off and let you make your own choices. Advice is good, but being pushy is not.

Are you still living with your parents? That also can make it hellish.
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Yes, I mentioned in the first post, I live with my parents at the moment, but I have moved out twice, in the past year, grouphome is not my type and I am not ready to buy a house. I am young adult and I need a car, my car right now is damaged, the car value is $4,000 and it is not worth the long run. I am logically thinking in the long term - worth in the long run.
 
Your parents just love you. I know what you are going through, almost sounds like same story with my life when I was 22. Stick with it and just stay ambitious
 
You ain't alone and been there and done that. Get tough it up, mate!
 
I know some of you have the similar experience as I have, share if you wish.
 
JClarke said:
Yes, I mentioned in the first post, I live with my parents at the moment, but I have moved out twice, in the past year, grouphome is not my type and I am not ready to buy a house. I am young adult and I need a car, my car right now is damaged, the car value is $4,000 and it is not worth the long run. I am logically thinking in the long term - worth in the long run.
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Group homes? I am not sure if I understand the concept of that. How about find a room mate or a cheap place to rent??


About the car.... If you are paying for it. It is your choice on what you want to drive and pay for. Not your parents.
 
Babyblue said:
Group homes? I am not sure if I understand the concept of that. How about find a room mate or a cheap place to rent??


About the car.... If you are paying for it. It is your choice on what you want to drive and pay for. Not your parents.
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Group home, is like a house with 3 other friends or housemates, it is what it is called in Australia. I was one of the house mates, about 6 months ago, didnt like it, thats why I moved back to my parents.


Car - yeah, have to wait for the insurance company to deal with the letter and whatnot so I can decide, but in my logically mind, festiva wont be fixed otherwise.
 
JClarke said:
Group home, is like a house with 3 other friends or housemates, it is what it is called in Australia. I was one of the house mates, about 6 months ago, didnt like it, thats why I moved back to my parents.


Car - yeah, have to wait for the insurance company to deal with the letter and whatnot so I can decide, but in my logically mind, festiva wont be fixed otherwise.
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That is why I was unsure of your concept of group homes. Guess it varies from country to country. Usually a group home in America is a state or federal funded home. Some are private homes.

Was not sure if it was a roommate situation or not.

Well if you all have to wait for the insurance policy to fall through.... . Dont you think you and the family are jumping the gun on what you will and will not do? :)
 
Well, I can see that you are having problem with your financial budget when car comes with paying for repair or get another car. But if you want to move out and live in a apartment which is better than a house, then the only solution is to move in with your best friend or two best friends to be your roommates. Living with your parents are hard enough when they want you to follow their rules because you are living under the roof of your parents. Now with the economy getting so high, it is hard to find the right apartment that you and your best friends can afford to live in. If you all find the right apartment that is affordable, then all of you can be happy not living with parents. Just my two cents. :hmm:

One more thing is that you are worrying about making the trip to United States of America and don't want to spend money on car at the moment until you get back from the vacation. Yeah, it can be very hard to know where your money goes to spend on things that you have no control of. Sometimes it is just not fair but that is the way life is. :(
 
Are you an only child? If you are our parents may being a hard time letting go of you. They may think as long as you live under their roof you have to live by their rules! If I were you , I would try to find a roommate and get your own place . As long as you keep on living with your parents they could think you are not able to made decisions on your own. Or you may need to have talk with your parents and let them how you feel . Good luck in whatever decisions you made! I think it is great that you are able to pay for your own car at age 22 ! That should show your parents that you're able to take care of yourself!
 
About the trip to U.S.A, It may have to be postponed or cancelled, but I am not doing any action on this.

I am not moving out at all, the life at my parents house is just fine. But just that my parents are not saying or discussing what options with me at the moment. Guess I have to wait for the insurance to send me the letter, they have called me last week so they should just hurry up so I can just deal with it.

My car is damaged and it can be repaired but to my decision, I dont want it repaired due it is a old car and it wont be worth the money if I sell it after the repair and the risks (probability) of the engine damage and unforseeable unexpected events with the car. I dont' want to shell more $$ on the damages.

So the option I am looking at is what is it for the best, I pay what damage costs to the mini cooper that I crashed into last week, (it is only the bumper though) my estimate is around $3,500 (I'd be surprised if it is cheaper than I thought) and it would add up the costs of my repair of the damages to my car (has other previous damages) in the short term, I cant just ppay the costs upfront, it is pretty stupid, but I know the accident has been my fault automatically. So thinking logically in the long term, without any issues with a new car would have been better off with my car, in the short term.

Do you know what I am talking about here? I dont like when parents just say 'No, you cant just blah, blah, blah' All I want is to have a discussion and give my options in this situation.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Are you an only child? If you are our parents may being a hard time letting go of you. They may think as long as you live under their roof you have to live by their rules! If I were you , I would try to find a roommate and get your own place . As long as you keep on living with your parents they could think you are not able to made decisions on your own. Or you may need to have talk with your parents and let them how you feel . Good luck in whatever decisions you made! I think it is great that you are able to pay for your own car at age 22 ! That should show your parents that you're able to take care of yourself!
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No, I am the eldest of 5 children.
 
Can you move in your own place so you can make your own independent decisions?
 
Guys, I am not talking about moving, I am not planning to move out anytime at all. I am fine at my parents, but that specific option is about decision making within myself about the car.
 
JClarke said:
I know some of you have the similar experience as I have, share if you wish.
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My dad was very controling and when he dies I was 21 years old. I moved out my mother home about 4 months later ! It was tough but it was great not being told when to be home or who I come or could go out with! This was about 43 years ago , I know it not the same now ,every thing cost a lot more money. I don 't think I would like living in a group home at age 22!
I hope things work out for you. Try to see if your parents will give you some
s p a c e!
 
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