somedeafdudefromPNW
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- Jul 6, 2009
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Okay, here's the run-down of the situation I am in, and am not entirely sure what to do about it.
I am technically deaf-blind and has been that way since I was an infant due to ROP and ear infections/oxototic drugs. I don't feel that my deafness or blindness impair my abilities at all. My family grew up with a Minnonite core value system, even though my mom and stepdad are not part of the Church; and my grandmother was a Minnonite. They raised me and my sister without any religious affliation and encouraged us to explore our own spirituality. I have actually developed an ingenious spiritual belief system that leave creationists baffled, and scientists giggle, but I will share and explain that in great detail at a later date on the Religion forum.
I feel that I face more discrimination from the get-go as a person with low vision than as a deaf person only because I can somewhat hide my deafness, but cannot hide my sight loss at all. I grew up in a BiBi setting until I was 10 or 11 and was allowed to express myself and be part of both hearing and Deaf community. When my family moved, I became socially isolated since the school system in the new city discouraged kids from interacting with each others and making contact with the local Deaf community.
When I tried to rejoin the Deaf community a few years ago, I felt rejected because the local Deaf in that city views sight loss to be a "disability" and not to be interacted with. In fact, the attitude I encoutered was completely different than the Deaf community I grew up in. So I spent a few years wandering around lost, trying to figure out where I belong. :roll:
Here's the kicker though, my entire family has been raised to be completely obedient to one's family and one's friends. Plus we were raised not partcipate in any conflicts and we were told to stay hush about any unfairness we may face as well as fulfill our family's and friend's every requests. To us, a life without conflict, not speaking up, not questioning other people's motives, not complaining about our unhappiness and so on is the key to fulfillness.
So I face a lot of discriminations, I let people do things to me, be rude toward me, and many of the things you guys described on the forum about what hearies do to deafies. Because I have been socially isolated for so long, I tend to view anyone that would talk to me to be my friend. I know it is ethically wrong for people to do things because I have a sight loss and a hearing loss. However I feel like if I speak up about these issues, it would be spiritually wrong and is against everything I have been taught.
I have only began questioning my morals ever since a girl broke up with me because she was furious about how I let people treat me differently. She was not at all impressed with the way my friends treated me, and told me that they were taking advantage of me. She had it with me after I let a guy on the LRT (light rail transit) slam me against the wall for no reason. Actually, we broke up after she said "you want to be a human, but you can't handle it." In fact, I learned from a friend that people view me as socially inept, when really deep down I just think it is not right to question why people do things. I actually have took to a strong liking to going to gigs and concerts recently since I feel that the people don't treat me any differently than other people.
So, I am at loss here what to do. My heart tells me one thing, which is the right thing to do which is to stand up for myself, but my values tell me another thing which is to stay quiet and be obedient.
Does anyone else have to face such ingrained family values? Gaaaawh.
I apologise for the excessively long post, but I am just really confused at the momeent.
I am technically deaf-blind and has been that way since I was an infant due to ROP and ear infections/oxototic drugs. I don't feel that my deafness or blindness impair my abilities at all. My family grew up with a Minnonite core value system, even though my mom and stepdad are not part of the Church; and my grandmother was a Minnonite. They raised me and my sister without any religious affliation and encouraged us to explore our own spirituality. I have actually developed an ingenious spiritual belief system that leave creationists baffled, and scientists giggle, but I will share and explain that in great detail at a later date on the Religion forum.
I feel that I face more discrimination from the get-go as a person with low vision than as a deaf person only because I can somewhat hide my deafness, but cannot hide my sight loss at all. I grew up in a BiBi setting until I was 10 or 11 and was allowed to express myself and be part of both hearing and Deaf community. When my family moved, I became socially isolated since the school system in the new city discouraged kids from interacting with each others and making contact with the local Deaf community.
When I tried to rejoin the Deaf community a few years ago, I felt rejected because the local Deaf in that city views sight loss to be a "disability" and not to be interacted with. In fact, the attitude I encoutered was completely different than the Deaf community I grew up in. So I spent a few years wandering around lost, trying to figure out where I belong. :roll:
Here's the kicker though, my entire family has been raised to be completely obedient to one's family and one's friends. Plus we were raised not partcipate in any conflicts and we were told to stay hush about any unfairness we may face as well as fulfill our family's and friend's every requests. To us, a life without conflict, not speaking up, not questioning other people's motives, not complaining about our unhappiness and so on is the key to fulfillness.
So I face a lot of discriminations, I let people do things to me, be rude toward me, and many of the things you guys described on the forum about what hearies do to deafies. Because I have been socially isolated for so long, I tend to view anyone that would talk to me to be my friend. I know it is ethically wrong for people to do things because I have a sight loss and a hearing loss. However I feel like if I speak up about these issues, it would be spiritually wrong and is against everything I have been taught.
I have only began questioning my morals ever since a girl broke up with me because she was furious about how I let people treat me differently. She was not at all impressed with the way my friends treated me, and told me that they were taking advantage of me. She had it with me after I let a guy on the LRT (light rail transit) slam me against the wall for no reason. Actually, we broke up after she said "you want to be a human, but you can't handle it." In fact, I learned from a friend that people view me as socially inept, when really deep down I just think it is not right to question why people do things. I actually have took to a strong liking to going to gigs and concerts recently since I feel that the people don't treat me any differently than other people.
So, I am at loss here what to do. My heart tells me one thing, which is the right thing to do which is to stand up for myself, but my values tell me another thing which is to stay quiet and be obedient.
Does anyone else have to face such ingrained family values? Gaaaawh.I apologise for the excessively long post, but I am just really confused at the momeent.
I was afraid if I disclose the inner turmoils on the forum, I would backslide into having a messy, depressive house again.
Well said!
