question about nightmare..

Yeah, I agree it would probably hurt more to yourself if you realize what you are doing, especially depending on the person's personality. But in turn to someone else, it makes you hard to read. That can be a good or bad thing, depending if Berry cares for that or not.

I could slightly understand:
Not moping around the fact over what happens prevents future painful questions about it from entering the fray. If you express a cheery attitude, no one is going to want to down you unless they purposely were a dumbass or intended on doing so.
 
Nika said:
I think "putting on a happy face" actually makes things worse. It's at a huge emotional cost. It is draining to constantly hide how you really feel just so everyone else in the room can keep their insecurities intact.
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i couldn't agree more. i told my therapist the other day that i wish i would have had the courage to speak up as a child, express my anger and say, "no! you will *not* do this to me!" instead of allowing the people that hurt me to continue doing so.
 
Hear Again said:
i couldn't agree more. i told my therapist the other day that i wish i would have had the courage to speak up as a child, express my anger and say, "no! you will *not* do this to me!" instead of allowing the people that hurt me to continue doing so.
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I feel your pain hear again. How do you stop something when you are a kid? It just dosent happen.
 
if someone downs me for feeling anger and hurt about my traumas, they they are the ones who have a problem -- not me.
 
Jiro said:
no no. it's YOU who looked like an idiot by laughing at horrible stuff being done to you.


.
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Looking like an idiot is no problem for me.

I am a part time clown. I get to look stupid, have a lot of fun, and get paid $50 an hour doing it.

But jerks seem to have a real problem with it. They have dignity and ego and pride and all that stuff. They take themselves seriously and expect you to do so as well.

A few years ago a man told me he was going to beat the hell out of me in front of about 20 people.

I always like a crowd.

So I lay down on the floor kicking and screaming "Please don't hurt me," and "Oh, owe that hurts" tossing in oddball stuff like, "I've fallen and I can't get up" And "Hey, is that Leroy Brown up there?"

So people all around us are laughing, saying things like "Cry baby" and "Kick him again" and "Get up off the floor you coward and fight like a man".

After staring at me for a couple of minutes and not sure what he should do, besides try to kick me, he left, calling everybody names. Later when we came across him again I bragged on him, telling everyone how he was able to turn me into a bloody mess without even touching me.

Hasn't spoken to me since. Guess he's upset with me. I don't know why.

I'm the one looked like an idiot.
 
Berry said:
Looking like an idiot is no problem for me.

I am a part time clown. I get to look stupid, have a lot of fun, and get paid $50 an hour doing it.

But jerks seem to have a real problem with it. They have dignity and ego and pride and all that stuff. They take themselves seriously and expect you to do so as well.

A few years ago a man told me he was going to beat the hell out of me in front of about 20 people.

I always like a crowd.

So I lay down on the floor kicking and screaming "Please don't hurt me," and "Oh, owe that hurts" tossing in oddball stuff like, "I've fallen and I can't get up" And "Hey, is that Leroy Brown up there?"

So people all around us are laughing, saying things like "Cry baby" and "Kick him again" and "Get up off the floor you coward and fight like a man".

After staring at me for a couple of minutes and not sure what he should do, besides try to kick me, he left, calling everybody names. Later when we came across him again I bragged on him, telling everyone how he was able to turn me into a bloody mess without even touching me.

Hasn't spoken to me since. Guess he's upset with me. I don't know why.

I'm the one looked like an idiot.
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I see. :| I suppose we can just agree to disagree.
 
Whoa Berry. That's some pretty crazy stuff you just said.

I have to say, my hat is off to you for enduring such issues the average person does not, by the road less traveled by.
 
Hear Again said:
that's too bad. i'm sorry your boss treats you that way.

i still don't know for sure if i will disclose my bipolar diagnosis. that's something i'm going to have to think long and hard about. the tricky thing for me though is that (like you with your ptsd triggers), i will have to say something given the fact that i rapid cycle on an hourly basis and my employer needs to know why that is happening. if he/she doesn't, i could be fired for inappropriate behavior and something i can't help.

as for disclosing my ptsd diagnosis, i don't think i'm ready to do that. i haven't even told anyone in my family yet.
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Yeah that's really the only reason I told her to begin with. Another coworker was triggering me intensely and provoking my startle response.

I think it might be a good idea to mention your rapid cycling. Maybe you can mention it without using the word "bipolar," because the words are more stigmatized than the concepts -- most people don't really understand the concepts enough to stigmatize them the way the words are.
 
Hear Again said:
when i was traumatized, i used to smile too, but it still didn't prevent the several kinds of abuse i experienced from happening. sorry, but i don't believe "putting on a happy face" eliminates or decreases one's exposure to traumatic events.
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On this I have to agree. Don't show what you don't feel -- Unless showing what you feel is going to get you hurt.

If it is not funny to you then it is not funny. When it is funny to you then it is funny.
 
Berry said:
On this I have to agree. Don't show what you don't feel -- Unless showing what you feel is going to get you hurt.

If it is not funny to you then it is not funny. When it is funny to you then it is funny.
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BERRY, HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS NEVER WORKS! Unless you are a person that wants to make it much worse later.
 
naisho said:
Yeah, I agree it would probably hurt more to yourself if you realize what you are doing, especially depending on the person's personality. But in turn to someone else, it makes you hard to read. That can be a good or bad thing, depending if Berry cares for that or not.

I could slightly understand:
Not moping around the fact over what happens prevents future painful questions about it from entering the fray. If you express a cheery attitude, no one is going to want to down you unless they purposely were a dumbass or intended on doing so.
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I put on a happy face for years. People still did awful things to me. Cheeriness doesn't ward off selfish people. Most cases, the person is, in your words, purposely a dumbass.
 
naisho said:
Whoa Berry. That's some pretty crazy stuff you just said.

I have to say, my hat is off to you for enduring such issues the average person does not, by the road less traveled by.
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I just do my best to have fun -- No matter what.

Now it is my bedtime.

Good night all, and may your dreams be the very best.
 
Nika said:
I think it might be a good idea to mention your rapid cycling. Maybe you can mention it without using the word "bipolar," because the words are more stigmatized than the concepts -- most people don't really understand the concepts enough to stigmatize them the way the words are.
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i'm afraid if i used the words "rapid cycling, " my boss won't understand either and think i'm just making the whole thing up. then again, i could tell them that i'm taking meds for it, but i'm still unsure of how they will react. i've thought about telling my boss that i have depression, but that won't explain my manic episodes. i don't think my employer is going to believe that i'm depressed if i'm walking around with a smile on my face, doing 100 things at once and coming up with all kinds of creative ideas. <laugh>
 
Hear Again said:
i'm afraid if i used the words "rapid cycling, " my boss won't understand either and think i'm just making the whole thing up. then again, i could tell them that i'm taking meds for it, but i'm still unsure of how they will react. i've thought about telling my boss that i have depression, but that won't explain my manic episodes. i don't think my employer is going to believe that i'm depressed if i'm walking around with a smile on my face, doing 100 things at once and coming up with all kinds of creative ideas. <laugh>
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What about just saying you are manic depressive? Not so much of a stigma maybe?
 
Nika said:
Most people don't always have complete control over their emotions, so not showing their emotions isn't an option.
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yep. i don't have any control of my emotions when i'm manic or depressed. that ain't gonna happen no matter how much i want it to.
 
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