The Deaf Community

Oceanbreeze said:
Thank you. :ty:

It's tedious, yes, but worth learning. Sadly, many hearing parents of deaf children are advised to go the oral only route and aren't given the option of ASL. If a parents chooses a CI for their child, they are encourage to drop ASL in favor of strict AVT/AOT. Ugh.

I'm not against the CI. I just wish ASL were encouraged instead of being seen as merely a "bandaid" until implantation takes place and AVT is taken over as the primary mode of therapy for the child.
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I agree. So true. My experience to the T. Although I have not gone for CIs, it has been suggested to me - purely to 'fix my problem', to do anything it takes to 'fix' it. I find hearing aids more of a problem than a 'help' as it is. (thats why I dont wear them). Frequent ear infections, chafing bte, amplified distortions and increased disorientation in crowded places. - this is all just with the simple hearing aid imagine the extent of the problems faced with a CI.
 
BecLak said:
Frequent ear infections, chafing bte, amplified distortions and increased disorientation in crowded places. - this is all just with the simple hearing aid imagine the extent of the problems faced with a CI.
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There may be other issues with a CI (the surgery itself, for one thing) but most people I've asked who've gone from one to the other, and what I've found in transitioning from my daughter's hearing aids to CIs is very different than what you describe with HAs. We found no more ear infections with a CI, no more goopy, red, itchy, damp ears (because nothing goes in the ear), no amplified distortion, no feedback, no tossing the HA in frustration, no crying on the plane, no expensive new ear molds every few weeks as she grew out of them, or worse, ATE them. Li did not like wearing her HAs at all, most likely because even cranked up, they gave her just enough sound to register as noise, but not enough to make sense of sound, she grew tired of them by midday, wanted them OFF. She insists on her CIs, sings, plays music, loves sound, now wears them to bed (I have to slip them off her after she falls asleep. Very different experience for us, one negative, one positive.
 
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I still experience eczema toward my CI (sensitive skin toward sweat and friction). like I did with my hearing aids. But I was also allergic to earmold.
 
shel90 said:
Understand everything at all times like your hearing peers?
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Admittedly no. However, one way to look at it, we still all had different dilemmas to deal with. Mine may have been HL, another could have been the weight issue or another could have came from a dysfunctional family and so on...

As a matter of fact, as you know many kids go through stages whereas they kind of "pick on each other a little". Sure there may have been times that I was made fun of or that someone said something about my HL. But I was right there along with them, also picking on different kids for different reasons, etc. Sure I may not have been the most popular, but I also wasn't exactly the least popular either. I was somewhere in the middle just being a typical kid really. And the experience also helped me to develop a thicker skin...
 
Oceanbreeze said:
What it's in it for me? Knowledge, understanding, ect and so on...

How does it feel? I wouldn't know. My parents made decisions for me when I was a child, and, I've continued living life based on the decisions they made for me. I'm also not bitter or angry about it. If I'm not mistaken, this is what hearing parents are also doing for their deaf children.
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Exactly then why do you seem to have a beef with parents that chose to take the CI route for their child...

I'd also think that the parents should have more to say on how they want their child to be raised than some stranger that doesn't even have an HL to begin with that also claims to have all of the answers on how ALL of the deaf should be raised...
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Ofc, I'm aware of the different modes of communication for the deaf. But, they aren't all equal in effectiveness. Also, the keyword in the above is "some". Some doesn't equal ALL.
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Then why are you applying a "some does equal to ALL" philosophy then. Besides who are you to determine that "they aren't all equal in effectiveness"? Have you got the certificates or diplomas on the wall to indicate that you are indeed knowledgeable on the subject? Just having some Deaf friends that you may sign a little mean you're an expert on what's the best solution on how ALL of the deaf children should be raised...
 
posts from hell said:
As a mother that comes naturally. However - I think my mother has much less idea of what I go through compared to my deaf peers.

Same goes for many of my friends.
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I personally felt that my mother understood me better anyone else. Not just in a communication sense, although that too, but also what my thoughts were, what was inside me and all that.
 
HHIssues said:
Admittedly no. However, one way to look at it, we still all had different dilemmas to deal with. Mine may have been HL, another could have been the weight issue or another could have came from a dysfunctional family and so on...

As a matter of fact, as you know many kids go through stages whereas they kind of "pick on each other a little". Sure there may have been times that I was made fun of or that someone said something about my HL. But I was right there along with them, also picking on different kids for different reasons, etc. Sure I may not have been the most popular, but I also wasn't exactly the least popular either. I was somewhere in the middle just being a typical kid really. And the experience also helped me to develop a thicker skin...
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So not having equal access to language, communication and information as their hearing peers makes it right for deaf children? Especially in the educational setting?

In my opinion, all deaf/hh children have the right to equal access. I dont accept any less.
 
faire_jour said:
I never said I do, but I do have the insight available from being around her every day since before she was born, interacting with her, talking to her, watching her, asking her, and knowing her....isn't it possible that as her mother, I could have more information than someone who hasn't lived her life and hasn't even met her?
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+1

FJ,

I personally felt that it was my own mother more so than anything else is what has gotten me over the hump as far as dealing with my HL was concerned...

So, you go on about being a great mother! And do not let some of the culturally deaf, which I think it's just their concern about preserving their culture more so than anything else is why they supposedly have a beef with the way you're raising your child, etc, disrupt the special bond you have with your own child! That came out of you in particular and not from some stranger whereas some of them also happens to be deaf who think they actually should have more to say on how your OWN VERY CHILD SHOULD BE RAISED...!
 
shel90 said:
So not having equal access to language, communication and information as their hearing peers makes it right for deaf children? Especially in the educational setting?

In my opinion, all deaf/hh children have the right to equal access. I dont accept any less.
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Oh there were certainly some accommodations made. For instance, I usually sat in the first couple of rows and also had a notetaker, usually a girl, sitting next to me. Whereas that as a guy I didn't mind getting to know that "nice girl" sitting next to me, grin...
 
HHIssues said:
Oh there were certainly some accommodations made. For instance, I usually sat in the first couple of rows and also had a notetaker, usually a girl, sitting next to me. Whereas that as a guy I didn't mind getting to know that "nice girl" sitting next to me, grin...
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Glad you were getting an ego boost.... I'm sure the students in the class didn't care.
 
HHIssues said:
+1

FJ,

I personally felt that it was my own mother more so than anything else is what has gotten me over the hump as far as dealing with my HL was concerned...

So, you go on about being a great mother! And do not let some of the culturally deaf, which I think it's just their concern about preserving their culture more so than anything else is why they supposedly have a beef with the way you're raising your child, etc, disrupt the special bond you have with your own child! That came out of you in particular and not from some stranger whereas some of them also happens to be deaf who think they actually should have more to say on how your OWN VERY CHILD SHOULD BE RAISED...!
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Not about culture preservation. I've stated what I would like.. And that is that.

Guess what? Faire Jour is doing that as well, I don't see why she's making things hard here :) It's comical actually...
 
HHIssues said:
Admittedly no. However, one way to look at it, we still all had different dilemmas to deal with. Mine may have been HL, another could have been the weight issue or another could have came from a dysfunctional family and so on...

As a matter of fact, as you know many kids go through stages whereas they kind of "pick on each other a little". Sure there may have been times that I was made fun of or that someone said something about my HL. But I was right there along with them, also picking on different kids for different reasons, etc. Sure I may not have been the most popular, but I also wasn't exactly the least popular either. I was somewhere in the middle just being a typical kid really. And the experience also helped me to develop a thicker skin...
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Other dilemmas are not as severe socially as hearing loss. As deaf people we tend to see minorities, other people with different issues, etc more equally than our hearing counterparts. The reality is that in the hearing world: hearing and speaking ability = IQ count.
 
HHIssues said:
Exactly then why do you seem to have a beef with parents that chose to take the CI route for their child...

I'd also think that the parents should have more to say on how they want their child to be raised than some stranger that doesn't even have an HL to begin with that also claims to have all of the answers on how ALL of the deaf should be raised...
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I don't. I never said I had a beef with a parent who takes the CI route. My beef is with the parents who drop sign in favor of oral only.
 
HHIssues said:
Then why are you applying a "some does equal to ALL" philosophy then. Besides who are you to determine that "they aren't all equal in effectiveness"? Have you got the certificates or diplomas on the wall to indicate that you are indeed knowledgeable on the subject? Just having some Deaf friends that you may sign a little mean you're an expert on what's the best solution on how ALL of the deaf children should be raised...
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I'm not. I'm in favor of a full tool box approach. ASL being one of those "tools". Many hearing parents of deaf children implant, and, go the oral only route. We've yet to see what impact that will have on them in the future. We know from the past, however, that deafies exposed to AVT and oral only with HAs, didn't fair so well. They grew up "functional" in some sense, but they also grew up lacking and wanting for more' wanting for a sense of belonging somewhere. I fully admit I don't know what it's like to live between two worlds, but, I can imagine it's not fun or easy.

Further more, I find it incredibly ironic that the only people here giving me a hard time about what I believe, my views, ect, are you, Faire_Jour, and Grendel. I'm not sure about you, but I know that FJ and Grendel are also hearing. Ah, well. Like I said, I know what I believe. I know that not every deaf person is going to accept me, and that's fine. I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. I just wish the best for all. I do my best to put myself in the other person's shoes and go from there. If that makes me wrong in some eyes, so be it.

Moving on....
 
Wirelessly posted

What view do you feel I gave you a hard time about?
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I'm not. I'm in favor of a full tool box approach. ASL being one of those "tools". Many hearing parents of deaf children implant, and, go the oral only route. We've yet to see what impact that will have on them in the future. We know from the past, however, that deafies exposed to AVT and oral only with HAs, didn't fair so well. They grew up "functional" in some sense, but they also grew up lacking and wanting for more' wanting for a sense of belonging somewhere. I fully admit I don't know what it's like to live between two worlds, but, I can imagine it's not fun or easy.

Further more, I find it incredibly ironic that the only people here giving me a hard time about what I believe, my views, ect, are you, Faire_Jour, and Grendel. I'm not sure about you, but I know that FJ and Grendel are also hearing. Ah, well. Like I said, I know what I believe. I know that not every deaf person is going to accept me, and that's fine. I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. I just wish the best for all. I do my best to put myself in the other person's shoes and go from there. If that makes me wrong in some eyes, so be it.

Moving on....
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:gpost:
We need more hearing people like you who can understand and emphathize with our struggles being in an hearing-only environment.
 
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