Apparently you and I have totally different outlooks on the value of human life.
We do have to "tel"l people what to do sometimes in order that they not harm others.
It is NOT the value of human life we disagree on -- It is the value of FREEDOM and the
right to choose we disagree on.
Suicide is about control. I never really understood why people commit suicide until I came across a few poems that satirized suicidal intentions; before I thought it was a callous and selfish way, but now I understand that it's altogether different ball-game.
I am not worried about the people who say they will commit suicide anymore now that I understand most of it is a mind-game; haven't known anyone that actually follow through with what they say. I am more worried about the ones that hide their depression, since I've lost a few people to that.
Who threatens to commit suicide?
The threat of suicide is the obverse of the threat of murder. "If you don't do what I want you to I will kill you," becomes, "If you don't do what I want you to I will kill myself before you kill me -- So there."
Sort of like, "You can't fire me -- I quit."
"You want to run away from home? Okay, let me help you pack your bags."
It is a simple game of
Brinkmanship. striving for control at all costs. If you don't call their bluff you will be the slave to this threat every time they want to toss it out there. If you call their bluff and they actually do go through with it (Unlikely but it does happen) then you have to live "With their blood on your hands."
Either way you will never be free of this person until you say, "I am done with you," and mean it.
This type of person does need help, but the help they need is learning healthier ways of playing the game of life.
Who "Attempts" suicide?
Ahhhh! The ultimate attention getter.
Now everyone has to stop what they are doing and run to save the life of the person who felt they were neglected. You must prove you really do care. They are now in complete control and they have proven they will back up what they say with actions.
There is really only one way to stop this game. That is to firmly let the person know that you view this as a choice, a course of action, that is theirs, and that while you may not approve, you will not stop them, even if you personally will be saddened by their departure.
Once they are convinced they will receive no rescue from you -- They will never bother you with this again. In fact they may never associate with you again on the basis that you -- Not they -- Are a monster.
Too bad. I don't like people who play games like that.
Who then actually does commit suicide?
Interestingly while those who threaten suicide and those who attempt suicide are attempting to control the lives of others, those who actually do suicide are making one last effort to control their own lives. They perceive their lives as so far out of control they have only one decision they can make to gain control again -- To end it.
These people are almost impossible to stop once they have made their decision. They seldom discuss their plans unless they are in a terminal position looking for a
Dr. Kevorkian.
Some of these people truly are beyond the ability of others to help them at all. It is conceivable there is no way they can get control of their lives back.
Others can be helped but it is not by condemning suicide. It is by helping them find choices that they can live with.
This may not be as easy as it sound because what seems an easy alternative option to one person may not appear feasible at all to another. A man in England once suicided because he could no longer run every morning. The man in the back house terminated his life because he could no longer do his wood work. The last thing in life he took interest in.
On the other hand I knew a woman who suicided and no one could understand why ... Until her husband remarried. The first time he beat his second wife to a bloody pulp and told her, "You call the cops or the hospital and I'll kill you," she replied, "I'd rather be as dead as your first wife than go through this -- But I'm not going to kill myself like she did -- You are going to have to do it yourself." Then she called (This was pre 911). And all of a sudden the myth of the "perfect" first marriage was shattered for all.
One woman gained control of a no win situation by committing suicide: The other by calling his bluff.
The best way to help a potential suicide is to realize when a person around you is running out of options -- And then do everything in your power to provide them with options -- And to help them to see options they may not have known exist. Sometimes to help them find the strength to exercise options that totally intimidate them.
For these people suicide is the ultimate step in taking control of their own lives.
The only way to prevent that final step is to give them the control they need.
Who are the Suicide Girls?
Now let us revisit the name "Suicide Girls" and attempt to understand what it really means in the light of "control." What are they really saying?
They are not saying, "Suicide is cute and sexy."
They are saying, "I have taken the ultimate step in controlling my own life. Your values do not influence me. To pierce or not pierce, to tattoo, or show off my body is my choice: Not yours."
They are dead to the control of others and have become reborn into control of themselves, by themselves, and for themselves.
Thus they are the "Suicide Girls".
Nobody will care. Just for your info. =/ EDIT: OK - I mean, some people did say that before. So not everyone will care or concern about the suicide.
