If I could work I would.... do you think going from 45K a year + to only 14K a year and living in pain is the most awesome thing in the world? Hell no, like I said its depressing. For awhile after surgery when the recovery took almost 3 years ( for 2 separate surgeries ) I was depressed, severe mood swings... about cost me my marriage too. The pain still forces depression upon us and mood swings. I don't take my pain pills like I am supposed to, but at times I have no choice but to eat them like candy (prescribed doses) now tell me, taking pain pills and muscle relaxers every 4 hour and being a zombie, walking drunk...ect... how would anyone feel.
My wife don't like me on the pain pills because I act drunk, the make me tired but cant sleep, cant drive, and I watch my son 24/7 except for when she is home from work. I cant sit for long periods, I cant stand for long periods, shopping is a chore, walking aggravates my back, bending and all movements are painful and I hate it, I still think Im 20 but my body says Im 90 (although I am 45) always played sports and was active playing tackle football and racquetball.... I used to run about 20+miles or more on the weekends, sometimes Id run all day from first thing in the morning til it got dark, I was strong, I was fit. there are times I sit here and want to just go out and run, I miss it, but I know I would only get a half block and have to crawl home.... it wont happen, but I feel it in my blood as I want to go, but there is no way possible. Long trips in the car is very painful, having to stop and get out, there are times I have to lay down as muscles knot up and spasm. It is never ending. Doctors have me on strong meds and they alternate then so I don't get addicted to them, one month its this, next month its that.... I sometimes wonder how they say people get addicted to pain meds, Ive never had the urge to just want them, I take them as prescribed and only when pain gets unbearable. I normally have extras by time refills are due, but if Im having a bad month Ill be out before then. That's another issue, when I did work, my employer wouldn't let me take my pain meds, they even had me to go to the doc and have him re-write the script to say on the bottle "Do Not Take at Work" My doc was pissed about that and said they were stupid and my bosses wondered why I had to take off so much, well now they are wondering how to avoid being sued, but that's too late now.... My case is in the process of getting a trial date, My lawyer has said they have been begging the court to drop the case and the court wont, My case is too strong. There is an on the job accident report, and they are trying to say it didn't happen on the job....lol what idiots... the time, jobsite, my co-workers and supervisors all witnessed it and the medical center, who took me (boss and supervisor) they are already in trouble for trying to falsify documents as I have the original paperwork.... well ill stop my chapter here, don't want to bore you too much.
Of course, not ALL.
