spinoff: Another question

neecy

neecy

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I don't want this to turn into a fight, but more a logical debate.

Why is it that so many people insist on coming into threads on this forum where people are asking questions/seeking information about CI's and instead of contributing something worthwhile to the conversation, all they do is say "Be proud to be deaf."

This kind of attitude aggravates me to no end. For one - there's nothing that's helping the person who is asking questions, for another it comes across like an accusation - and for another WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYBODY HAVE TO BE HAPPY/PROUD OF THEIR DEAFNESS???

Is it some kind of prerequisite in the "Deaf World"? We don't see people who are confined to a wheelchair and who hope for stem cell research to help them walk being told "Be proud to be a paraplegic." We don't see someone who has surgery on their eyes because they were born with limited sight being told "Be proud to be blind."

So WHY, I ask you, is this "Be proud to be deaf" (or forms thereof) always interjected into the threads here?

I understand if somebody is "proud" of their deafness...even if I don't understand the reasons WHY.

It just boggles me, AND comes across as being downright rude!!!!

The same thing happens when parents have come here looking for information about CI's for their children, and instead of getting information they get posts saying along the lines of "how dare you do such a thing!"

Then they wonder why so many leave this forum, never to return, or like me, 99% of the time I just sit back and only post on the non-controversial threads because I KNOW what's coming. I KNOW that boogeyman lurking around the corner just waiting to throw a monkey wrench into everything. Even something as innocent as asking for information about CI's....

So I ask you....WHY does it keep happening, and what can we do to stop it?
 
I don't know :dunno2:

I can only speak of myself. I am not 'proud' of my deafness but I 'accept' it and don't have any problem with who I am.. I also like to function in hearing world.. so I want to get a CI soon.

I believe that a person can have both worlds : hearing and Deaf cultures..

One cannot be criticized if they don't want to hear.

Also,

One cannot be criticized if they do want to have some of hearing sense.
 
We don't see people who are confined to a wheelchair and who hope for stem cell research to help them walk being told "Be proud to be a paraplegic." We don't see someone who has surgery on their eyes because they were born with limited sight being told "Be proud to be blind."
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Actually, neecy there ARE disabilty rights activists who are anti-cure,(were you aware of the fact that some dis rights folks didn't like Christopher Reeve and his obession for a cure?) and who think that the only "barrier" that they face in life, isn't their disabilties but rather people's attitudes.
Also the correct terminlogy is "wheelchair user" NOT "confined to a wheelchair". Are you confined to your CI? Why use that term instigating that something that gives freedom is limiting?
I agree with you somewhat. I think a lot of the people who go "I'm proud to be deaf and don't need CI" are still kind of misinformed about what a CI does.
CIs CAN be compatible with Deaf culture and Sign. If hearing aids are, then CIs can be too!
There aren't too many "I'm proud to be deaf so I'm anti-CI" folks here. This place is actually pretty moderate! Sure it's not like one of those "CI is always so wonderful" sites, but overall it is very moderate here!
As for being proud to be dhh...............what's wrong with that? My friend Nancia is proud to be Greek, my friend Cooley is proud to be black, my friend Amanda is proud to be lesbian. Why can't I be proud to be dhh? There IS such a thing as disabilty pride.
 
:confused:, Please do show me many threads where we says "proud to be deaf " ?...because I feel like this is one side of issue when I see it coming from both sides...
 
neecy said:
I don't want this to turn into a fight, but more a logical debate.

Why is it that so many people insist on coming into threads on this forum where people are asking questions/seeking information about CI's and instead of contributing something worthwhile to the conversation, all they do is say "Be proud to be deaf."

This kind of attitude aggravates me to no end. For one - there's nothing that's helping the person who is asking questions, for another it comes across like an accusation - and for another WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYBODY HAVE TO BE HAPPY/PROUD OF THEIR DEAFNESS???

Is it some kind of prerequisite in the "Deaf World"? We don't see people who are confined to a wheelchair and who hope for stem cell research to help them walk being told "Be proud to be a paraplegic." We don't see someone who has surgery on their eyes because they were born with limited sight being told "Be proud to be blind."

So WHY, I ask you, is this "Be proud to be deaf" (or forms thereof) always interjected into the threads here?

I understand if somebody is "proud" of their deafness...even if I don't understand the reasons WHY.

It just boggles me, AND comes across as being downright rude!!!!

The same thing happens when parents have come here looking for information about CI's for their children, and instead of getting information they get posts saying along the lines of "how dare you do such a thing!"

Then they wonder why so many leave this forum, never to return, or like me, 99% of the time I just sit back and only post on the non-controversial threads because I KNOW what's coming. I KNOW that boogeyman lurking around the corner just waiting to throw a monkey wrench into everything. Even something as innocent as asking for information about CI's....

So I ask you....WHY does it keep happening, and what can we do to stop it?
Click to expand...
Yes thank you! Lol ur not only one that's sick of that kind of stuff. Its same for paralyze person saying no to wheelchair cuz they're proud to be paralyze but in reality wheelchair is tool to help that person to get around and help him do stuff that he couldn't do it on his own. And same goes for blind person with feeler stick and eye-seeing dog and hearing aid/cochlear implant for deaf people. Its simply a tool to help them for what they don't have to have the ability. Deaf, blind, paraplegic, whatever IS disability because it mean you don't have the ability to hear/see/walk/etc deal with it.
 
neecy said:
So WHY, I ask you, is this "Be proud to be deaf" (or forms thereof) always interjected into the threads here?
Click to expand...

Maybe I am wrong, but I search "Heaing Aids & Cochlear Implants" part of AD for "proud pride deaf" and only see 6 threads.

I am proud of ASL. I am proud of many deaf/HoH people who do great things. I can be proud of these and still think of CI I think but maybe many disagree.

Yes. CI is a hot topic and people's replies sometimes are not helpful, rude, or angry. I also read many helpful and thoughtful replies about CI, so I know that a CI thread maybe has some bad replies and some good replies. If I get too mad about a reply in any part of AD I try to stop reading, leave the computer, and do something else so I don't have a heart attack or get into a endless forum fight. I try to post only when 1) I have questions 2) I support someone, especially if she struggles with problems or 3) I think the information is wrong and not because I think the opinion is wrong. But I know the CI threads are hard sometimes and sometimes I post just because I am mad - probably everyone tries not to make these posts and sometimes makes them anyways. :dunno:
 
deafdyke said:
As for being proud to be dhh...............what's wrong with that? My friend Nancia is proud to be Greek, my friend Cooley is proud to be black, my friend Amanda is proud to be lesbian. Why can't I be proud to be dhh? There IS such a thing as disabilty pride.
Click to expand...

I have no problem with people who are proud of their deafness. Good for them! What I have a problem with is people who simply interject their pride in a thread where its not warranted, and adds absolutely nothing to the topic of discussion.

Its akin to somebody asking "I'm interested in buying a Ford truck, but don't know much about Ford trucks - can you share your experiences with me?" and having somebody say "I prefer a Volkswagon Beetle" - that's fine and dandy that they prefer that - but how does that have anything to do with the question that was asked? Similarly how does "I'm proud to be deaf" have anything to do with somebody who is asking for information about CI's? See my point?
 
neecy said:
...

Why is it that so many people insist on coming into threads on this forum where people are asking questions/seeking information about CI's and instead of contributing something worthwhile to the conversation, all they do is say "Be proud to be deaf."

...

So WHY, I ask you, is this "Be proud to be deaf" (or forms thereof) always interjected into the threads here?

I understand if somebody is "proud" of their deafness...even if I don't understand the reasons WHY.

It just boggles me, AND comes across as being downright rude!!!!

...

So I ask you....WHY does it keep happening, and what can we do to stop it?
Click to expand...

As you know, I least I called out the poster for the asinine comment.

To answer your question, there is nothing one can do to "stop it". The internet comes with all kinds of people the good, the bad, and the idiots. What one has to do is just learn to ignore them.
 
SkullChick said:
Yes thank you! Lol ur not only one that's sick of that kind of stuff. Its same for paralyze person saying no to wheelchair cuz they're proud to be paralyze but in reality wheelchair is tool to help that person to get around and help him do stuff that he couldn't do it on his own. And same goes for blind person with feeler stick and eye-seeing dog and hearing aid/cochlear implant for deaf people. Its simply a tool to help them for what they don't have to have the ability. Deaf, blind, paraplegic, whatever IS disability because it mean you don't have the ability to hear/see/walk/etc deal with it.
Click to expand...

Actually, the problem with adjustment and attitude toward disability is not tied to the use of devise, but the motivation behind the use of that devise. And there is nothing wrong with using a devise to mitigate a disability. However, living one's life in search of a miracle cure, or denying the chronicity and impact of the disability on one's life is unhealthy.
 
I totally 100% agree with you neecy. Interjecting "Oh I'm proud to be deaf" in an CI thread that really doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the thread, is really dumb.
However, I do think that this forum isn't too bad re: the anti CI "deaf pride" You really should have been around in the old days at DumbNotes.
 
deafdyke said:
I totally 100% agree with you neecy. Interjecting "Oh I'm proud to be deaf" in an CI thread that really doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the thread, is really dumb.
However, I do think that this forum isn't too bad re: the anti CI "deaf pride" You really should have been around in the old days at DumbNotes.
Click to expand...

I was!! LOL!! :giggle:
 
deafdyke said:
I totally 100% agree with you neecy. Interjecting "Oh I'm proud to be deaf" in an CI thread that really doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the thread, is really dumb.
However, I do think that this forum isn't too bad re: the anti CI "deaf pride" You really should have been around in the old days at DumbNotes.
Click to expand...


I agree too. This is my first time posting on message boards about being deaf/hoh. Since my Cis, I felt the need to connect with others who wear CIs and are deaf. I'm glad I found this board.

The anti-CI part is hard to take. I know you have to take it all. Guess I have to let it roll off my back.
 
neecy said:
I have no problem with people who are proud of their deafness. Good for them! What I have a problem with is people who simply interject their pride in a thread where its not warranted, and adds absolutely nothing to the topic of discussion
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excuse me--you've done exactly the same thing. let me refresh your memory cochlear implant on 6 yrs old who was having trouble with his cochlear implant

this is your post: I will say this - knowing what I know now, if I was born deaf today, I would sure hope my parents WOULD implant me with a CI.

You were speaking more about yourself than what this thread was discussed about. Where was your compassion for this adopted son? You showed no remorse for this young 6 years old.

And where's the creator of that thread? she's no longer a member here, she left the forum why? because some cochlear implants users did not believe her story, either did some of the parents of deaf children with cochlear implants.

You only want to see the positives posts and threads on cochlear implant, it's not possible or will it ever be. You all have to learn to accept the pros/cons/positives and negatives aspects on cochlear implants.

You're took pride of your cochlear implants too neecy. It's seems even so that some of you have the answers, the way, and the truth while everyone else is dishonest, lacking in perfection, everyone of us are at fault.

cochlear implant users felt offended, turned off, and rebuked by our messages. We also felt offended, turned off and rebuked by some of your messages.

cochlear implant users thinks that some of us don't give enough recognition to their successes of cochlear implants which is not true either, most of the time you've gotten more recognition from us than you've gave to those who experienced the negatives outcome of their cochlear implants.

The world does not resolves around you, everyone has feelings, no feelings is far more important than another feeling of another person.
 
I've never said the world should revolve around me. And I humbly admit I have made a mistake on that post - I honestly hadn't read the first posting - just was responding to the post somebody had made before mine that CI's are child abuse. That's my own fault but it wasn't done with the intention of derailing the entire thread (and it didn't - the thread continued for quite a while.)

And if you look at other posts I have made - I've always acknowledged the negatives of CI's (just look at the thread on that subject.) I've never ONLY emphasized the positives - if you are so adept at digging up old posts, perhaps you can dig up a few showing that I fail to acknowledge the negatives of CI's?
 
neecy said:
And if you look at other posts I have made - I've always acknowledged the negatives of CI's (just look at the thread on that subject.) I've never ONLY emphasized the positives - if you are so adept at digging up old posts, perhaps you can dig up a few showing that I fail to acknowledge the negatives of CI's?
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It's not that you do not have the knowledge of the negatives aspects, I'm talking about showing the compassion of some who had experienced the negative of their cochlear implants when the outcome is quite unpredictable. Unfortunately you haven't shown much compassion to some of them.

the only reason I dig up your posts because I'm tired of the finger-pointing, when you pointing a finger at someone, four fingers will be pointing right back at you. You can make your point without pointing a finger.
 
Cheri said:
It's not that you do not have the knowledge of the negatives aspects, I'm talking about showing the compassion of some who had experienced the negative of their cochlear implants when the outcome is quite unpredictable. Unfortunately you haven't shown much compassion to some of them.

the only reason I dig up your posts because I'm tired of the finger-pointing, when you pointing a finger at someone, four fingers will be pointing right back at you. You can make your point without pointing a finger.
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I agree and like I said on my first post in this thread, " I see it coming from both sides "...
 
neecy said:
Is it some kind of prerequisite in the "Deaf World"? We don't see people who are confined to a wheelchair and who hope for stem cell research to help them walk being told "Be proud to be a paraplegic." We don't see someone who has surgery on their eyes because they were born with limited sight being told "Be proud to be blind."

So WHY, I ask you, is this "Be proud to be deaf" (or forms thereof) always interjected into the threads here?
...

So I ask you....WHY does it keep happening, and what can we do to stop it?
Click to expand...

I think the difference is that there is a culture surrounding d/Deafness that isn't there for paraplegic or blind individuals. Deaf Culture sprang out of a common language and a common struggle, but paraplegic people and blind people communicate (mostly) just as hearing people do so there was no need to form their own cultures. People want to be proud of their culture, and just like in any culture they want to proclaim theirs as best/superior. There is always a fear, I think, that if someone wants to hear that makes them "Not Deaf" anymore, even though this isn't true. Therefore, like an ex-patriot who no longer wants to live in their own country, it is seen as "unpatriotic" for deaf (clinically) people to "try to be hearing" using the CI. And the only reason the CI is any different from a hearing aids is that CIs are viewed as permanent, even though you can take off the external piece just like a HA.

But that's just my two cents :D
 
I think everyone should be allowed to make their own opinions and decisions without being put down by those who might be AGAINST the opinion/decision. I saw the comment to skullchick in one of her posts and that actually bothered me. And I have a friend who is a deaf CI user, who was judged by local Deaf people being against her decision of getting the CI and basically wanting to have nothing to do with her. What is so wrong with getting a CI? Don't some of the Deaf people realize that even with a CI, that CI user is STILL deaf? Turn the CI processor off, boom silence. Same thing with a hearing aid, yet hearing aids are more accepted than CIs. I just don't get it. Everyone, pro-CI or pro-Deaf, etc, should be able to post on there with their own questions/opinions/experiences/etc and not be judged just because of the choices they have made in regards to how they want to live their lives.
 
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