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What is self-esteem?
People with self-esteem:
1. Hold themselves as worthy to be loved and to love others, worthy to be cared for and to care for others, worthy to be nurtured and to nurture others, worthy to be touched and supported and to touch and support others, worthy to be listened to and to listen to others, worthy to be recognized and to recognize others, worthy to be encouraged and to encourage others, worthy to be reinforced as "good" people and to recognize others as "good" people.
2. Have a productive personality; they have achieved success to the best of their ability in school, work, and society.
3. Are capable of being creative, imaginative problem solvers; of being risk takers, optimistic in their approach to life and in the attainment of their personal goals.
4. Are leaders and are skillful in dealing with people. They are neither too independent nor too dependent on others. They have the ability to size up a relationship and adjust to the demands of the interaction.
5. Have a healthy self-concept. Their perception of themselves is in synchrony with the picture of themselves they project to others.
6. Are able to state clearly who they are, what their future potential is, and to what they are committed in life. They are able to declare what they deserve to receive in their lifetime.
7. Are able to accept the responsibility for and consequences of their actions. They do not resort to shifting the blame or using others as scapegoats for actions that have resulted in a negative outcome.
8. Are altruistic. They have a legitimate concern for the welfare of others. They are not self-centered or egotistical in their outlook on life. They do not take on the responsibility for others in an over-responsible way. They help others accept the responsibility for their own actions. They are, however, always ready to help anyone who legitimately needs assistance or guidance.
9. Have healthy coping skills. They are able to handle the stresses in their lives in a productive way. They are able to put the problems, concerns, issues, and conflicts that come their way into perspective. They are able to keep their lives in perspective without becoming too idealistic or too morose. They are survivors in the healthiest sense of the word. They have a good sense of humor and are able to keep a balance of work and fun in their lives.
10. Look to the future with excitement, a sense of adventure and optimism. They recognize their potential for success and visualize their success in the future. They have dreams, aspirations, and hopes for the future.
11. They are goal-oriented with a sense of balance in working toward their goals. They know from where they have come, where they are now, and where they are going.
What are the signs of low self-esteem?
Persons with low self-esteem:
1. Consider themselves lost, unworthy of being cared for.
2. Are poor risk takers.
3. Operate out of a fear of rejection.
4. Are typically unassertive in their behavior with others.
5. Are fearful of conflict with others.
6. Are hungry for the approval of others.
7. Are poor problem solvers.
8. Are fraught with irrational beliefs and have a tendency to think irrationally.
9. Are susceptible to all kinds of fears.
10. Have a tendency to become emotionally stuck and immobilized.
11. Have a poor "track record" in school or on the job; conversely, they sometimes over compensate and become over-achievers.
12. Are unable to affirm or to reinforce themselves positively.
13. Are unable to make an honest assessment of their strengths, qualities, and good points; they find it difficult to accept compliments or recognition from others.
14. Have poorly defined self-identities with a tendency to be chameleons in order to fit in with others.
15. Are insecure, anxious, and nervous when they are with others.
16. Often become overcome with anger about their status in life and are likely to have chronic hostility or chronic depression.
17. Are easily overcome with despair and depression when they experience a setback or loss in their lives.
18. Have a tendency to overreact and become de-energized by resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge against those whom they believe have not fully accepted them.
19. Fulfill roles in their families of origin that are counter-productive and maladaptive. These roles carry over into their adult lives.
20. Are vulnerable to mental health problems and have a propensity to use addictive behavior to medicate their hurt and pain. Such addictive behavior can include alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex, shopping, smoking, workaholism, or the search for excitement, truth, wisdom, and a guru with an easy guide to the achievement of happiness.
How do people with low self-esteem feel?
The following "Letter from a Boy" taken from a Midwestern paper gives us an idea of what a person with low self-esteem has to say.
LETTER FROM A BOY
Dear Folks,
Thank you for everything, but I am going to Chicago to try to start some kind of new life.
You asked me why I did those things, and why I gave you so much trouble; the answer is easy for me to give you, but I am wondering if you will understand.
Remember when I was about six or seven and I used to want you to just listen to me? I remember all the nice things you gave me for Christmas and my birthday, and I was real happy with the things for about a week at the time I got the things; but the rest of the time during the year, I really didn't want presents. I just wanted all the time for you to listen to me like I was somebody who felt things too, because I remember even when I was young, I felt things. But you said you were busy.
Mom, you are a wonderful cook and you had everything so clean and you were tired so much from doing all those things that made you busy, but you know something, Mom? I would have liked crackers and peanut butter just as well--if you had only sat down with me a little while during the day and said to me: "Tell me all about it so I can maybe help you understand."
And when Donna came I couldn't understand why everyone made so much fuss because I didn't think it was my fault that her hair is curly and her teeth so white, and she doesn't have to wear glasses with such thick lenses. Her grades were better, too, weren't they?
If Donna ever has children, I hope you will tell her to just pay some attention to the one that doesn't smile very much because that one will really be crying inside. And when she's about to bake six dozen cookies to make sure first that the kids don't want to tell her about a dream or a hope or something, because thoughts are important, too, to small kids even though they don't have so many words to use when they tell about the feelings inside them.
I think that all the kids who are doing things that make the grownups tear their hair out worrying about are really looking for somebody who will have time to listen a few minutes, and who really and truly will treat them as they would a grownup who might be useful to them. You know--polite to them. If you folks had ever said to me: "Pardon me" when you interrupted me, I'd have dropped dead. If anybody asks you where I am, tell them I have gone looking for somebody with time, because I've got a lot of things I want to talk about.
Love to all,
Cont....
People with self-esteem:
1. Hold themselves as worthy to be loved and to love others, worthy to be cared for and to care for others, worthy to be nurtured and to nurture others, worthy to be touched and supported and to touch and support others, worthy to be listened to and to listen to others, worthy to be recognized and to recognize others, worthy to be encouraged and to encourage others, worthy to be reinforced as "good" people and to recognize others as "good" people.
2. Have a productive personality; they have achieved success to the best of their ability in school, work, and society.
3. Are capable of being creative, imaginative problem solvers; of being risk takers, optimistic in their approach to life and in the attainment of their personal goals.
4. Are leaders and are skillful in dealing with people. They are neither too independent nor too dependent on others. They have the ability to size up a relationship and adjust to the demands of the interaction.
5. Have a healthy self-concept. Their perception of themselves is in synchrony with the picture of themselves they project to others.
6. Are able to state clearly who they are, what their future potential is, and to what they are committed in life. They are able to declare what they deserve to receive in their lifetime.
7. Are able to accept the responsibility for and consequences of their actions. They do not resort to shifting the blame or using others as scapegoats for actions that have resulted in a negative outcome.
8. Are altruistic. They have a legitimate concern for the welfare of others. They are not self-centered or egotistical in their outlook on life. They do not take on the responsibility for others in an over-responsible way. They help others accept the responsibility for their own actions. They are, however, always ready to help anyone who legitimately needs assistance or guidance.
9. Have healthy coping skills. They are able to handle the stresses in their lives in a productive way. They are able to put the problems, concerns, issues, and conflicts that come their way into perspective. They are able to keep their lives in perspective without becoming too idealistic or too morose. They are survivors in the healthiest sense of the word. They have a good sense of humor and are able to keep a balance of work and fun in their lives.
10. Look to the future with excitement, a sense of adventure and optimism. They recognize their potential for success and visualize their success in the future. They have dreams, aspirations, and hopes for the future.
11. They are goal-oriented with a sense of balance in working toward their goals. They know from where they have come, where they are now, and where they are going.
What are the signs of low self-esteem?
Persons with low self-esteem:
1. Consider themselves lost, unworthy of being cared for.
2. Are poor risk takers.
3. Operate out of a fear of rejection.
4. Are typically unassertive in their behavior with others.
5. Are fearful of conflict with others.
6. Are hungry for the approval of others.
7. Are poor problem solvers.
8. Are fraught with irrational beliefs and have a tendency to think irrationally.
9. Are susceptible to all kinds of fears.
10. Have a tendency to become emotionally stuck and immobilized.
11. Have a poor "track record" in school or on the job; conversely, they sometimes over compensate and become over-achievers.
12. Are unable to affirm or to reinforce themselves positively.
13. Are unable to make an honest assessment of their strengths, qualities, and good points; they find it difficult to accept compliments or recognition from others.
14. Have poorly defined self-identities with a tendency to be chameleons in order to fit in with others.
15. Are insecure, anxious, and nervous when they are with others.
16. Often become overcome with anger about their status in life and are likely to have chronic hostility or chronic depression.
17. Are easily overcome with despair and depression when they experience a setback or loss in their lives.
18. Have a tendency to overreact and become de-energized by resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge against those whom they believe have not fully accepted them.
19. Fulfill roles in their families of origin that are counter-productive and maladaptive. These roles carry over into their adult lives.
20. Are vulnerable to mental health problems and have a propensity to use addictive behavior to medicate their hurt and pain. Such addictive behavior can include alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex, shopping, smoking, workaholism, or the search for excitement, truth, wisdom, and a guru with an easy guide to the achievement of happiness.
How do people with low self-esteem feel?
The following "Letter from a Boy" taken from a Midwestern paper gives us an idea of what a person with low self-esteem has to say.
LETTER FROM A BOY
Dear Folks,
Thank you for everything, but I am going to Chicago to try to start some kind of new life.
You asked me why I did those things, and why I gave you so much trouble; the answer is easy for me to give you, but I am wondering if you will understand.
Remember when I was about six or seven and I used to want you to just listen to me? I remember all the nice things you gave me for Christmas and my birthday, and I was real happy with the things for about a week at the time I got the things; but the rest of the time during the year, I really didn't want presents. I just wanted all the time for you to listen to me like I was somebody who felt things too, because I remember even when I was young, I felt things. But you said you were busy.
Mom, you are a wonderful cook and you had everything so clean and you were tired so much from doing all those things that made you busy, but you know something, Mom? I would have liked crackers and peanut butter just as well--if you had only sat down with me a little while during the day and said to me: "Tell me all about it so I can maybe help you understand."
And when Donna came I couldn't understand why everyone made so much fuss because I didn't think it was my fault that her hair is curly and her teeth so white, and she doesn't have to wear glasses with such thick lenses. Her grades were better, too, weren't they?
If Donna ever has children, I hope you will tell her to just pay some attention to the one that doesn't smile very much because that one will really be crying inside. And when she's about to bake six dozen cookies to make sure first that the kids don't want to tell her about a dream or a hope or something, because thoughts are important, too, to small kids even though they don't have so many words to use when they tell about the feelings inside them.
I think that all the kids who are doing things that make the grownups tear their hair out worrying about are really looking for somebody who will have time to listen a few minutes, and who really and truly will treat them as they would a grownup who might be useful to them. You know--polite to them. If you folks had ever said to me: "Pardon me" when you interrupted me, I'd have dropped dead. If anybody asks you where I am, tell them I have gone looking for somebody with time, because I've got a lot of things I want to talk about.
Love to all,
Cont....
CyberRed. I´m disagree everything what you say here.
Everyone knows about form of esteem but you? 
