Returning Adopted Deaf Children...

So, it's not far-fetched to believe a story like this then!
 
Reba said:
I believe they used a private agency; maybe that makes a difference? :dunno:

It's beyond my comprehension.
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Perhaps private agencies function under different guidelines than state agencies. But you would think, public or private, they would do a better job of screening potential parents! I agree.....I simply can't comprehend!
 
Banjo said:
So, it's not far-fetched to believe a story like this then!
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Unfortuantely, not far fetched at all. Sad that it is believable. What does it say of our priorities where children are concerned?
 
... The appallingly inhumane act truly floored me! :(
 
Hi everyone!
Fortunately, there are exceptions. I've got a friend who is deaf and some time ago she confessed me she was adopted. According to her, her mother was a deaf woman who couldn't take care of her and her adoptive parents knew her disabilty and, even so, they decided to adopt her. They also adopted her younger sister, who has no disability at all. I admit her parents aren't my cup of tea, I mean, they're nice people but I think they've made many mistakes in her education (for example, she communicates with them with oral language and she didn't learn sign language until 16 years old and that because a friend and me taught her); despite this, they really love her and didn't spare expense to improve her situation (included a cochlear implant. The benefits of this are, at least, arguable, but they meant well). If only they weren't so misinformated about deafness...
This is the opposite case: parents who purposedly adopt a child knowing she's deaf. There are still good people in the world...
I hope I explained myself. I'm not a native speaker, so sorry for my English.
By the way, I'm new in this forum. Nice to meet you.
(I don't surf on the Internet very often. Excuse me if I don't reply immediately).
 
Nea kophe said:
Hi everyone!
Fortunately, there are exceptions. I've got a friend who is deaf and some time ago she confessed me she was adopted. According to her, her mother was a deaf woman who couldn't take care of her and her adoptive parents knew her disabilty and, even so, they decided to adopt her. They also adopted her younger sister, who has no disability at all. I admit her parents aren't my cup of tea, I mean, they're nice people but I think they've made many mistakes in her education (for example, she communicates with them with oral language and she didn't learn sign language until 16 years old and that because a friend and me taught her); despite this, they really love her and didn't spare expense to improve her situation (included a cochlear implant. The benefits of this are, at least, arguable, but they meant well). If only they weren't so misinformated about deafness...
This is the opposite case: parents who purposedly adopt a child knowing she's deaf. There are still good people in the world...
I hope I explained myself. I'm not a native speaker, so sorry for my English.
By the way, I'm new in this forum. Nice to meet you.
(I don't surf on the Internet very often. Excuse me if I don't reply immediately).
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The people who adopted this child knew she was deaf, as well. But they returned her because they had planned to have her implanted and force her to learn to speak. So it would appear that they adopted a deaf child with every intent of doing whatever they could to make her "hearing". When they found our it was not possible they returned her. I wonder if your friends parents would have done the same if she had not been able to learn to speak and had turned out not to be a candidate for the CI? The only difference I see in the two situations is that one deaf child qualified for CI and was able to survive somewhat in an oral environment, and one wasn't.
 
jillio said:
The people who adopted this child knew she was deaf, as well. But they returned her because they had planned to have her implanted and force her to learn to speak. So it would appear that they adopted a deaf child with every intent of doing whatever they could to make her "hearing". When they found our it was not possible they returned her. I wonder if your friends parents would have done the same if she had not been able to learn to speak and had turned out not to be a candidate for the CI? The only difference I see in the two situations is that one deaf child qualified for CI and was able to survive somewhat in an oral environment, and one wasn't.
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It's as if the child is broken goods or a pet and if it (I'm using it on purpose) isn't "fixed" then it can be thrown away like broken goods. I'm just appalled at these parents.

Tousi has reason to wonder about the screening process.
 
First of all, nice to meet you, jillio. And about your reply, I don't know what CI means (I find it very difficult to understand abbreviations), but I suppose you mean the case is different with my friend because she managed to get integrated with hearing people.
Interesting idea, but no, she didn't. Maybe I'm being too harsh with her family, but, as a result of learning too late sign language and her poor oral language, the poor girl is isolated in her own family. I've seen her at home and the vision saddens me.
Her relationship with her parents is somewhat warm, but not enough, because they only talk to her for a brief moment and only say things like "did you get fun ?" "come back home early", etc. With her sister, things are worse, my friend doesn't have a very good level of lip reading and her sister is one of these people who (because of misterious reasons) don't vocalize. Picture the situation. I can hardly understand her (and I have rests of auditions, I usually talk with people face to face without problems), so imagine the problem with my friend, since she's totally deaf (even with the cochlear implant).
My friend, although she assures hearing everything, never understand people, even if they vocalize and talk properly, her syntax is really poor and acts a bit childish most of the time. So, sorry for her parents, they meant well, but they could have educated her far better. They love her deeply, but, as it's said sometimes, love isn't enough. That's just my opinion, of course, but I'm not the one that things so. Her teachers told me the same.
 
Nea kophe said:
First of all, nice to meet you, jillio. And about your reply, I don't know what CI means (I find it very difficult to understand abbreviations), but I suppose you mean the case is different with my friend because she managed to get integrated with hearing people.
Interesting idea, but no, she didn't. Maybe I'm being too harsh with her family, but, as a result of learning too late sign language and her poor oral language, the poor girl is isolated in her own family. I've seen her at home and the vision saddens me.
Her relationship with her parents is somewhat warm, but not enough, because they only talk to her for a brief moment and only say things like "did you get fun ?" "come back home early", etc. With her sister, things are worse, my friend doesn't have a very good level of lip reading and her sister is one of these people who (because of misterious reasons) don't vocalize. Picture the situation. I can hardly understand her (and I have rests of auditions, I usually talk with people face to face without problems), so imagine the problem with my friend, since she's totally deaf (even with the cochlear implant).
My friend, although she assures hearing everything, never understand people, even if they vocalize and talk properly, her syntax is really poor and acts a bit childish most of the time. So, sorry for her parents, they meant well, but they could have educated her far better. They love her deeply, but, as it's said sometimes, love isn't enough. That's just my opinion, of course, but I'm not the one that things so. Her teachers told me the same.
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Your friend's situation is not really all that unusual. I have seen so many kids with families like that even though some of them have CIs.
 
Nea kophe said:
First of all, nice to meet you, jillio. And about your reply, I don't know what CI means (I find it very difficult to understand abbreviations), but I suppose you mean the case is different with my friend because she managed to get integrated with hearing people.
Interesting idea, but no, she didn't. Maybe I'm being too harsh with her family, but, as a result of learning too late sign language and her poor oral language, the poor girl is isolated in her own family. I've seen her at home and the vision saddens me.
Her relationship with her parents is somewhat warm, but not enough, because they only talk to her for a brief moment and only say things like "did you get fun ?" "come back home early", etc. With her sister, things are worse, my friend doesn't have a very good level of lip reading and her sister is one of these people who (because of misterious reasons) don't vocalize. Picture the situation. I can hardly understand her (and I have rests of auditions, I usually talk with people face to face without problems), so imagine the problem with my friend, since she's totally deaf (even with the cochlear implant).
My friend, although she assures hearing everything, never understand people, even if they vocalize and talk properly, her syntax is really poor and acts a bit childish most of the time. So, sorry for her parents, they meant well, but they could have educated her far better. They love her deeply, but, as it's said sometimes, love isn't enough. That's just my opinion, of course, but I'm not the one that things so. Her teachers told me the same.
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Nice to meet you as well. No I meant that the situations were different because one child was able to be implanted with a cochlear implant, and one wasn't. I was wondering if your friend's parents would have felt the same way about keeping her if she hadn't been able to have the cochlear implant, or if she had not been able to develop spoken language.
 
Jeez! Well, the deaf kids that got unadopted are better off without those so called parents. Imagine how their lives would have been if they stayed. Hopefully they have resources to cope with this shit.
 
Hi! It's me again. What Shel said, I know it's a very common situation (unfortunately), but as my parents are deaf, too, I still find very hard to understand why hearing parents refuse to learn Sign Language. My family aren't perfect, we argue quite a lot, but I sense there's closeness, no one is isolated, we always know what the other one is saying. So, excuse me for my naivety, I'm not used to that.
And, to come back to topic, returning adopted children because of deafness is maybe the best, as it's said on this thread, better than live with such parents who can't love someone only for a stupid disability, stupid because it doesn't prevent from loving and supporting you, it just hardens a bit the communication, but with some effort (the same as with any other foreign language or even easier than learning, for example, Chinese)that can also be achieved.
I don't exclude the possibility of adopting a child, and I would be glad to adopt a deaf child. At least, I can take care of him, not like these candidate to parents (if they can't love a child with disability, they'll never be good parentes, just my opinion).
Sorry if I'm being tedious. I'm not talkative at all in real life, due mainly to my deafness. I'll try to tell less nonsense next time. Bye, everyone!
 
Nea kophe said:
Hi! It's me again. What Shel said, I know it's a very common situation (unfortunately), but as my parents are deaf, too, I still find very hard to understand why hearing parents refuse to learn Sign Language. My family aren't perfect, we argue quite a lot, but I sense there's closeness, no one is isolated, we always know what the other one is saying. So, excuse me for my naivety, I'm not used to that.
And, to come back to topic, returning adopted children because of deafness is maybe the best, as it's said on this thread, better than live with such parents who can't love someone only for a stupid disability, stupid because it doesn't prevent from loving and supporting you, it just hardens a bit the communication, but with some effort (the same as with any other foreign language or even easier than learning, for example, Chinese)that can also be achieved.
I don't exclude the possibility of adopting a child, and I would be glad to adopt a deaf child. At least, I can take care of him, not like these candidate to parents (if they can't love a child with disability, they'll never be good parentes, just my opinion).
Sorry if I'm being tedious. I'm not talkative at all in real life, due mainly to my deafness. I'll try to tell less nonsense next time. Bye, everyone!
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I didn't see any nonsense in your post. What you said made perfect sense. I agree with you. I don't understand why so many hearing parents refuse to learn sign language, either. I've heard all the standard excuses, so I know what they say is the reason. I just don't understand why a hearing parent would think that any excuse is justified. BTW, I'm a hearing parent of a deaf child.

Good to see you back!
 
Oh geez! I feel sorry for the adopt deaf child and I hated those parents who adopted that deaf child then take it back to the adoption agency! What a cruel!!! Why didn't their parents of the deaf child to put down straight away??! It is the same concept when having disabled calf or deafness or blindness animal and put the disabled animals down straight away! It is discrimination! It makes me so angry!

One of my friend, she had a diamonian dog (white and black spots dog) and she is hearing dog then she birth to 8 beautiful puppies and found out there is one deaf puppy and the inspection wanted that puppy to put down so my friend was not that stupid and she knew that inspection will do secretly put the deaf puppy down so she told her off!!! She can speak in Russian language and her father had to translate into english for inspection to understand she was being said then she change to Russian sign language then sign language in our country. She said, "Deaf can access and CAN learn anything!" Then what happened? Inspection said ok that deaf puppy can live but must have desex!

When born Deaf, means have deaf brain for instance, strong visible and feeling.
 
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