Returning Adopted Deaf Children...

jillio said:
Stories about the story don't fall under confidentiality. However, details from the actual story do.
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Stories about the story is considered second-hand information thus may not be accurate....
 
Byrdie714 said:
Stories about the story is considered second-hand information thus may not be accurate....
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You are correct in that. But accuracy was not the question. Confidentiality was.

Begs to ask: how can it be 'confidential' if it was posted on-line?
from your post # 53.

The answer is that stories about the story do no fall under confidentiality guidelines. However, details from the exact incident do.
 
jillio said:
You are correct in that. But accuracy was not the question. Confidentiality was.

Begs to ask: how can it be 'confidential' if it was posted on-line?
from your post # 53.

The answer is that stories about the story do no fall under confidentiality guidelines. However, details from the exact incident do.
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Yeah I can see that too....

Would have been nice if the people that are posting would have at least included the link...
 
If this is true, this is terrible and very wrong. Returning the child to the adoption agency just because she doesn't qualify for a CI...very wrong! I guess the parents didn't realize that there are tons of information at their fingertips on the internet about how to deal with the child's deafness. Also, it is going to make the child feel like she was unwanted because she is Deaf and as a result she will have a lot of psychological damage and will need therapy for a long time. Also, there is a good chance the child will be put in foster care. Foster care can be very terrible and she will suffer big time. This is very wrong.

My heart goes out to the child. :(
 
I always felt myself that the implants should be done only in extreme cases or situations.
 
This situation is so sad. If parents really felt this way - it might be better for them to return the child. So many times they don't - and the child is inflicted with years of abuse - experiencing feelings of worthlessness and other not-so-good feelings. The parents will never change their minds.

However, they should never be allowed to adopt again. Children are not like merchandises from Wal-Mart.
 
deafbajagal said:
This situation is so sad. If parents really felt this way - it might be better for them to return the child. So many times they don't - and the child is inflicted with years of abuse - experiencing feelings of worthlessness and other not-so-good feelings. The parents will never change their minds.

However, they should never be allowed to adopt again. Children are not like merchandises from Wal-Mart.
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This exact thing could very easily have happened to me, I was adopted at 6 weeks old and my adpopted parents were not told that deafness was hereditery in my birth family.I was not diagnosed as deaf until 5 yrs old but lucky for me I had wonderful parents and my mother spent many hours teaching me to speak. I can never thank her enough, she passed away last November aged 88.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It sounds like she was a wonderful mother and mentor to you.
 
That story just makes me sick! Anytime you adopt a child, no matter what the situation is, you have to be willing to take that child for what they are, CI qualified or not!
Thats almost like adopting a child who later develops cancer and then returning him/her, saying, "well, we weren't expecting to have to deal with this..." thats horrible!

It makes me wanna just become a foster parent to deaf children and beg to have the one involved in this story until she can go to a better family!
 
I am the source for the story

I am the hearing mother of a Deaf child. The other child, "E" went to school with my daughter. They were friends, E came to my daughter's birthday party. E's family was very slowly learning ASL, though the father never seemed interested. Then one day E was no longer at school. I contacted E's mother and she told me that E had been returned to the adoption agency. E's mother told me that there were many reasons they had "returned" her, but (and she said she only confessed this to me because she knew I would understand because I was hearing....I didn't understand) one of the reasons was because they had always assumed that E would be a CI canidate and the E would learn to speak and understand spoken language.
I was horrified. I reached out to other parents of Deaf children for support on what to say to this mother. Some how the story went from private to public.
For the record, my daughter still attends the only ASL school in the area so if she was adopted locally it was to a family that intends to have her learn to speak and listen. But I hope that she was just adopted outside my state.
My biggest problem with the whole situation is that the child didn't understand. She was 6 years old but she only had the language of a 18 month old. I think about them putting E into the car, taking her to a strange place, and just leaving her there. It is horrible. She would have no explanation, and no one there to comfort her, no one who even understood her language. I am still nausated every time I think about it.
 
faire_jour said:
I am the hearing mother of a Deaf child. The other child, "E" went to school with my daughter. They were friends, E came to my daughter's birthday party. E's family was very slowly learning ASL, though the father never seemed interested. Then one day E was no longer at school. I contacted E's mother and she told me that E had been returned to the adoption agency. E's mother told me that there were many reasons they had "returned" her, but (and she said she only confessed this to me because she knew I would understand because I was hearing....I didn't understand) one of the reasons was because they had always assumed that E would be a CI canidate and the E would learn to speak and understand spoken language.
I was horrified. I reached out to other parents of Deaf children for support on what to say to this mother. Some how the story went from private to public.
For the record, my daughter still attends the only ASL school in the area so if she was adopted locally it was to a family that intends to have her learn to speak and listen. But I hope that she was just adopted outside my state.
My biggest problem with the whole situation is that the child didn't understand. She was 6 years old but she only had the language of a 18 month old. I think about them putting E into the car, taking her to a strange place, and just leaving her there. It is horrible. She would have no explanation, and no one there to comfort her, no one who even understood her language. I am still nausated every time I think about it.
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That is so heartbreaking!! Thanks for clarifying things up.

E is not the only deaf child with a family who wants to "fix" the deafness. I hope someone will adopt her. I wish I had the money cuz I would adopt her and give her the language and love she deserves.
 
faire_jour said:
I am the hearing mother of a Deaf child. The other child, "E" went to school with my daughter. They were friends, E came to my daughter's birthday party. E's family was very slowly learning ASL, though the father never seemed interested. Then one day E was no longer at school. I contacted E's mother and she told me that E had been returned to the adoption agency. E's mother told me that there were many reasons they had "returned" her, but (and she said she only confessed this to me because she knew I would understand because I was hearing....I didn't understand) one of the reasons was because they had always assumed that E would be a CI canidate and the E would learn to speak and understand spoken language.
I was horrified. I reached out to other parents of Deaf children for support on what to say to this mother. Some how the story went from private to public.
For the record, my daughter still attends the only ASL school in the area so if she was adopted locally it was to a family that intends to have her learn to speak and listen. But I hope that she was just adopted outside my state.
My biggest problem with the whole situation is that the child didn't understand. She was 6 years old but she only had the language of a 18 month old. I think about them putting E into the car, taking her to a strange place, and just leaving her there. It is horrible. She would have no explanation, and no one there to comfort her, no one who even understood her language. I am still nausated every time I think about it.
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Thank you for giving us a personal perspective on this story. I am horrified over what these people put this child through. I hope that they are never permitted to take another child into their home.
 
Banjo said:
I have been told on several occasions that it is not uncommon for parents to return children after adopting them within a couple years. I even have heard of some where they gave the child up after 5 to 10 years of being in the family.

It happens more than people would even possibly imagine.
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Yes, it's sad but true. :(

I personally know a family that did that with a deaf American elementary-age child, after the adoption was finalized. The family later adopted other "perfect" American infants.

I strongly support adoption but I believe prospective parents need to really search their hearts for their motives before they take the plunge.
 
Reba said:
Yes, it's sad but true. :(

I personally know a family that did that with a deaf American elementary-age child, after the adoption was finalized. The family later adopted other "perfect" American infants.

I strongly support adoption but I believe prospective parents need to really search their hearts for their motives before they take the plunge.
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Geez! That's terrible!!!
 
shel90 said:
Geez! That's terrible!!!
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I agree! How in the world could an adoption agency release more chidlren to a couple that has behaved so irresponsibly and harmfully toward a child they had already adopted?
 
jillio said:
I agree! How in the world could an adoption agency release more chidlren to a couple that has behaved so irresponsibly and harmfully toward a child they had already adopted?
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I believe they used a private agency; maybe that makes a difference? :dunno:

It's beyond my comprehension.
 
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