Meg said:
Guys, does any of this ring bells with you?
They sure have enough excuses - "I need more space," "I think we'd be better off as friends," - but what are the real reasons men leave their ladies? We get behind the old saw, "It's not you, it's me," to find out.
Yes, many of it does. I've observed these many times in the past. However, these are not always the lies... but also the truth.
Meg said:
The Thrill is Gone
Oh, he won't admit it's the whole reason, but it may well be. When he starts feeling like he's seen your whole bag of sexual tricks, or you're not that mysterious, glamorous creature you were when you started dating, he starts getting the itch to get out. Some men get far too caught up in the fantasy thing. Once that mystery and enchantment is gone - oh, say, about the time you ask him to pick up some tampons for you at the store - he will be, too.
Sometimes, the thrill can fade away... for several reasons. Either the guy is short-lived or the gal is too expecting. I've seen cases where the gal demands more and more. Sometimes, she demands so much that the guy feels that he can't satisfy her any more. When that happens, the thrill fades away. This also happens the other way... where the guy wants more than the gal can give.
Meg said:
You've Changed
Shallow? Uh-huh, but it's true: if you've stopped taking care of your appearance once you've got him hooked, he'll use that as a reason to bail. (Incidentally, he's more likely to stick it out if he's let himself go, too).
Sometimes, the other person can change for worse. I've seen cases where the gal acts one way so that the guy is happy. After they start dating, she changes back to her old self. When that happens, that means that she was not being her true self when she first met the guy. Therefore, it's her fault for this happening. Of course, guys do the same thing as well. I think that they should be true to themselves when they are meeting others. That way, there's less chances of these so-called "changes".
Meg said:
You Tried to Change Him
It's practically a cliché by now, how women fall for the "bad boy" with the mistaken assumption that they can remake him into the man of their dreams. It's dangerous enough even to try. But if you actually succeed, you can start counting the minutes until he cuts the cord. In an effort to get back to being that free spirit he once was, he'll change his surroundings - starting with you.
Uh oh... that's a pretty harsh accusation. Of course, it can be true as well. This usually happens when the person (trying to change the other) is planning on changing as well. Suppose this gal changed herself so that she could get the guy, she led him to believe that she doesn't care if he talks with other females. When he believes that, he and she begin dating. After a while, she decides to become her old self... where she does NOT like him talking to other gals. So, how can she do this? Instead of making herself look bad by changing herself, she gets the guy to change himself by being more "respectful" to her and not talking to other women. When that happens, she knows she can safely change back to her old self. Again, this could happen with me... although I rarely see this happen with men.
Meg said:
He Can't Breathe
Sure, he loves attention, but if your adoration starts feeling suffocating, he'll bolt. Ditto if your union is marked with too many quarrels, too much jealousy, or your unabating need for his reassurance of how special you are, how solid your relationship is, and how much you can trust him.
This happens both ways. I have seen cases where the gal follows the guy around so much that he can't do anything to be himself any more. I had a roommate whose girlfriend was always in the room. Because of that, I had to go into the bathroom to change most of the time. Even if he's just there doing his homework, she'll be sitting on his bed staring at the wall and waiting for him to finish. I even asked him how long he was there and he would say something like "2 hours" and when I ask her what she is doing, she would tell me that she's waiting. She also mentioned that she's been waiting since they got back from lunch and now waiting for him to finish his homework. Boy! That's pretty obsessive! Heh! Not only is this a problem for the guy, it's a problem for his friends. His friends feel that they can't do anything with him any more. They go to parties, yet... he can't join his friends to have their traditional round of shots with her standing in the middle. They go to lunch, yet... they can't talk about guy stuff with her sitting there. Yes, it becomes very annoying when this happens. I'm sure that guys do the same thing to women, yet... I rarely see this happen.
Meg said:
You're Not His Ideal
He went into your relationship with an unrealistic idea of who you were and what kind of couple the two of you would be. Now that he's realized you're not perfect (!), he's going to look for someone who is. Wish him luck.
This is pretty much the same as "You've Changed". The gal changes herself to win the guy. After winning him, she changes back to her old self. When that happens, the guy doesn't like it... so he dumps her. Later, the gal blames it on the guy. Whose fault is it really?
From this whole thing...
I'm not going to say that it's all the gal's fault. Guys do the same thing too. People need to shut up, sit down, and look at themselves first before they start making accusations. Remember the roommate I mentioned? Well, after they broke up... she left school and blamed it all on the guy. Come on! That's not true! It was her fault! She just never looked at herself before putting the blame on him. :roll:
