My dad doesn't believe my hearing status has been a problem...

Dixie said:
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. It's made me teary eyed. I can safely say that I'm very thankful for the family that I have here on AD.com. Although, we've not met in real life, I still feel like a lot of you would stick up for me like an older sibling as you would for each other.

I'm very much looking forward to Monday afternoon when I am hightailing it to Russellville to pick up the application for the apartment. It will be a 4-6 month wait, but a friend of mine that lives in the same apartment complex said it could be sooner if someone is evicted for non-payment or if someone moves out sooner than expected. I don't mind this waiting period as it will allow me to get things put together a little bit better.

In the meantime, I plan to rent a storage unit near the apartments to store furniture in as I purchase it a little bit at a time. I don't need a lot or anything fancy, just something that works and isn't beat all to hell. Right now I'm on the lookout for:
a futon, a recliner or a glider w/ foot stool, a dinning room set with 2-4 chairs. Two beds w/ box spring and frame, and a dresser. I'm thinking if I buy one or two items at a time at resale shops or furniture outlets, that this could possibly be doable.

The good thing about these apartments is that it's off away from heavy traffic, there is a playground and a laundromat on the premises for the residents to use. I already know 4 people who live at these apartments so it's not like I will be totally alone. I will also be 45 minutes from my parents. If my parents come over to bother me, I can just say "Hey, look, you gotta leave."

My plan is to have everything moved in a single day if I can get enough people and enough trucks. The best plan is to get it all in one trip instead of making multiple trips. I have a truck, my brother has a truck, and I'm pretty sure I can probably get one or two more people with a truck to help me move.

If my parents say my plans won't work, I will just turn around and say 'Watch me.' and walk out. I'm done.
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Glad to hear it. Follow through.
 
Sounds like you have really thought it through and have a very workable plan.

Re: the furniture - it is AMAZING what you can find at resale shops. Also scour the classifieds for "estate sales" in good neighborhoods. You can pick up some very good buys of furniture from the '40's and '50's that is much better built than a lot of today's new furniture.
 
I think most people are damaged and broken.

Most of them refuse to realize it and try to pass it on by taking it out on someone they think is more broken than they are.

Never let ANYONE, parent, friend, lover, stranger, co-worker, or boss, make their problems your problems.
 
Dixie, I have worked with many deaf children who have parents who are very much in denial about their deafness. They refuse to accept that it is not the child's fault for no understanding what is happening around them at home. They blame it on them being stubborn or being lazy. I can see those parents doing the same as your parents are doing when these children become adults. That's why we teach them that it is not their fault and to self-advocate.

I am glad you are taking action with the apt and pls let us know how everything works out.

:hug:
 
Dixie - there are days when I think my MIL and your father might get along pretty well. That's a scary thought all around. :shock:
 
If my parents say my plans won't work, I will just turn around and say 'Watch me.' and walk out. I'm done.

Realizing ur anger, Dixie. But, I would only say "I'm going to do my best to make it work, and I would appreciate all your support for me and my daughter."....After all, they are ur parents, and no matter how you feel about them, they are going to be somewhat concerned, and miss you and their grandaughter....even tho' they might not want to admit it, show it, verbalize it....I remember the old saying ...."Distance makes the heart grow fonder."....

They may or may not want you to succeed...but ur an adult now, with a child. Failure and defeat should not even be into ur vocabulary. You seem to be a very intelligent young lady, be confident you will succeed....ignore the naysayers....let ur actions and determination talk for you! Don't let the negativism affect ur sense of well-being, as there will be others that would want to drag you down. Wishing you again the best of luck.
 
rockin'robin said:
If my parents say my plans won't work, I will just turn around and say 'Watch me.' and walk out. I'm done.

Realizing ur anger, Dixie. But, I would only say "I'm going to do my best to make it work, and I would appreciate all your support for me and my daughter."....After all, they are ur parents, and no matter how you feel about them, they are going to be somewhat concerned, and miss you and their grandaughter....even tho' they might not want to admit it, show it, verbalize it....I remember the old saying ...."Distance makes the heart grow fonder."....

They may or may not want you to succeed...but ur an adult now, with a child. Failure and defeat should not even be into ur vocabulary. You seem to be a very intelligent young lady, be confident you will succeed....ignore the naysayers....let ur actions and determination talk for you! Don't let the negativism affect ur sense of well-being, as there will be others that would want to drag you down. Wishing you again the best of luck.
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Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder because we let ourselves forget all the pea-brained things our loved ones did when we were close. There's the saying "good fences make good neighbors," too. Either way, getting some distance from these toxic parents sounds like a more than excellent idea.
 
Dixie said:
You're the one who said I shouldn't be driving because I can't hear, you're the one who said I can't play sports because I can't hear, your the one who said I couldn't play music because I am deaf, and basically you have even gone so much as to say that whenever I am asked about it at work that I am supposed to deny it because I could be fired for being deaf!"
...
I feel like he's always held me back as a child and even now I still feel like he is holding me back because I'm the broken failure. He thinks I should just get a minimum wage job and be happy, even if I want better for myself and my DD.
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I am just one person and I could tell him about my life. While I feel I would have succeeded even farther had I had ASL as well, I was able to learn to drive very well (better than some hearing I've seen); I was able to play all sorts of sports growing up; and I learned and mastered the flute and piccolo. As far as work, I work for a government office that hires only the best of the best and at first I tried to be (a broken) hearie and not allow people to see me as HOH or Deaf (at first I thought the best = hearing). My performance was successful (the middle of five options in performance ratings) for my first three years. When I allowed myself to be deaf, but still independent, I was welcomed with open arms and my performance has improved to excellent (the second to the top of five in performance ratings and equivalent to exceeding the majority of my peers) for the last two years. Recently, I've come to accept my deafhood :deaf:completely and I'm hoping to see my performance go to outstanding, because I know I can do it.

You can succeed and I know how hard it is to try and tell yourself that when people who are supposed to care for you and your well-being and your future tell you otherwise. That's why I thought I'd tell you here, so you can see that there are people out there who care about you and believe in you. :h5: :thumb:
 
DeafRaptor said:
I am just one person and I could tell him about my life. While I feel I would have succeeded even farther had I had ASL as well, I was able to learn to drive very well (better than some hearing I've seen); I was able to play all sorts of sports growing up; and I learned and mastered the flute and piccolo. As far as work, I work for a government office that hires only the best of the best and at first I tried to be (a broken) hearie and not allow people to see me as HOH or Deaf (at first I thought the best = hearing). My performance was successful (the middle of five options in performance ratings) for my first three years. When I allowed myself to be deaf, but still independent, I was welcomed with open arms and my performance has improved to excellent (the second to the top of five in performance ratings and equivalent to exceeding the majority of my peers) for the last two years. Recently, I've come to accept my deafhood :deaf:completely and I'm hoping to see my performance go to outstanding, because I know I can do it.

You can succeed and I know how hard it is to try and tell yourself that when people who are supposed to care for you and your well-being and your future tell you otherwise. That's why I thought I'd tell you here, so you can see that there are people out there who care about you and believe in you. :h5: :thumb:
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I don't have a problem with my D/HH status, it's the fact that my parents taught me for so long to be ashamed of it. Heck, they were probably ashamed of the fact that their daughter was born broken, at least by their standards.

From the description you gave of your job, it sounds like you might work in inspection for the government. It's not bad, I just wished I could get on as easy as some of my friends have. My problem is the fact that I've not been away from Tyson long enough.

Right now, my plan is to move out, enroll back into Uni full-time on loans, grants, and scholarships while working 3-4 days a week to maintain a steady source of income. I have been talking to friends about this on FB and from what I've gathered, this is very doable with me living in income-based housing.

I'm looking forward to the day that I will have that Bachelor's Degree in my hand with a smile on my face that a bomb couldn't wipe off. I think when that happens, I think maybe then my parents will at least be happy with me at that point.

I'm a little scared but at the same time looking forward to moving out. I'm sure this is normal, but I should have done this YEARS ago. I'll probably regret not doing this sooner.

I just wish there was a way that I could get them to open their eyes to what my world is like so that maybe they might begin to understand.
 
Dixie said:
I don't have a problem with my D/HH status, it's the fact that my parents taught me for so long to be ashamed of it. Heck, they were probably ashamed of the fact that their daughter was born broken, at least by their standards.

From the description you gave of your job, it sounds like you might work in inspection for the government. It's not bad, I just wished I could get on as easy as some of my friends have. My problem is the fact that I've not been away from Tyson long enough.

Right now, my plan is to move out, enroll back into Uni full-time on loans, grants, and scholarships while working 3-4 days a week to maintain a steady source of income. I have been talking to friends about this on FB and from what I've gathered, this is very doable with me living in income-based housing.

I'm looking forward to the day that I will have that Bachelor's Degree in my hand with a smile on my face that a bomb couldn't wipe off. I think when that happens, I think maybe then my parents will at least be happy with me at that point.

I'm a little scared but at the same time looking forward to moving out. I'm sure this is normal, but I should have done this YEARS ago. I'll probably regret not doing this sooner.

I just wish there was a way that I could get them to open their eyes to what my world is like so that maybe they might begin to understand.
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Pls dont regret not doing this sooner...there is always a right time for everything but at least you are taking action.
 
Dixie. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your daughter.
 
I don't know if I will even have time for a boy toy. Between school, working, and being mom, where will I have time to date?

Maybe I will date a little bit after I finish, but I seriously doubt I will ever have another serious relationship again.
 
Dixie said:
I don't know if I will even have time for a boy toy. Between school, working, and being mom, where will I have time to date?

Maybe I will date a little bit after I finish, but I seriously doubt I will ever have another serious relationship again.
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know the feeling, just focus on regain your self-determination (making own choices) and learning to run a house/flat its fun, there's downers too but overall the fun/freedom bit weights more...
good luck

ONE MORE THING< FORGET loniness i know it's bad, but focus on what you loving to do right now and live it, let other things come later
 
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Sorry that you're going through that at home.

As deafies, we can do anything... but hear. That shouldn't stop us from getting jobs.

I'm sure you can get a better job than flipping burgers at McDonalds.

Go ahead and get a great job. After working one year earning respect from your co-workers, you can go back to your family and say... "Hey, look where I am!" then walk away. ;)
 
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