How to save residental programs?

[deafgal001]

It would be great of the mainstream schools had deaf ed programs that were modeled after the deaf shool programs. That way the availability would be equal to what it is for mainstream schools. I know that is not likley due to supply and demand but it would be nice and it would address the concerns regarding re-location and some of the negatives associated with some residental programs.

They should be able to put at least one deaf magnetic school in the center of different areas (like 30 miles radius or something). Having one or two deaf keep them isolated as well.

 

[Buffalo]

No, that proposal was for poor people in general. Deaf people could be fed to the hungry. Here's some research on the subject for you.

Hmm, quite an idea, though -- do you really think I should sterilize my child?

Then you are a sick person.

Won't be surprised if you do sterilize your kid especially if she has a deaf gene.

I couldn't understand why hearing people passed the sterilization law on the disabled when they themselves are not that smart enough to learn sign language. If they can't learn sign language in spite of two working hands, then they must be wanting in their heads. Those hearing people are disabled, period!

 

[deafgal001]

buffalo, She was being sacrastic.

 

[GrendelQ]

Then you are a sick person.

Won't be surprised if you do sterilize your kid especially if she has a deaf gene.

I couldn't understand why hearing people passed the sterilization law on the disabled when they themselves are not that smart enough to learn sign language. If they can't learn sign language in spite of two working hands, then they must be wanting in their heads. Those hearing people are disabled, period!

Oh, you mean your offensive comment suggesting the sterilization of deaf people was serious? Well, that's a horse of a different color.

In that case, you are one sick twisted old donkey, aren't you?

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I'm with the people here who have misgivings about residential schools. I understand a child needing to be in an enriching environment, and, I also understand that it might be best for some kids to be in a res school, but it makes me twitchy to separate a child from his/her family at a very, very young age; regardless of circumstances. If it was my child, I would probably be OK with a day program, but, that's it. I don't think a child should be separated from their families in their formative years. Yes, I know, some kids do fine. But, it still bothers me.

As to the abuse/neglect aspect, I don't think that's necessarily grounds to place a kid in a residential placement. Abuse/neglect happens across all demographics. It happened to ME when I was young, and yet, nobody thought to take me away from my folks (thank GOD!). As screwed up as some families may be (mine included), they're still that child's parents, and, I honestly think you're doing more harm to the kid by taking them out of the home full time. If the child is truly endangered, place them in a deaf foster home and push to have the parents' rights terminated. If language is an issue, then, for the love of Pete, educate the parents on what they need to do for that child! But, don't separate them!

As for advocating sterilization, come on! I don't think we wanna go down that road, do we? It's really a sticky issue. There are situations in which sterilization MIGHT be necessary and best for someone, but being Deaf isn't one of them!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Then you are a sick person.

Won't be surprised if you do sterilize your kid especially if she has a deaf gene.

I couldn't understand why hearing people passed the sterilization law on the disabled when they themselves are not that smart enough to learn sign language. If they can't learn sign language in spite of two working hands, then they must be wanting in their heads. Those hearing people are disabled, period!

I generally agree with you, but, you're coming off a bit strong here.

I am not in favor of sterilization for the hell of it. I think it's abominable to suggest sterilizing someone just because they're deaf, but to say hearing people should be sterilized is going a bit far. There are those who wanted to sterilize ME because I'm disabled. Mom said Hell no! In restrospect, it may have been in MY best interest to have my uterus removed when I was in my teen years, but, NOT SOLELY because I couldn't walk. There's a huge difference between that, and, doing it to prevent problems for the child later in life.

 

[faire_jour]

Only reason I would advocate sterlization if the person has two working hands and yet can't/won't learn sign language. Those kind of people are a burden to the deaf people. They are the reason why deaf kids are isolated and lonely.
You talked about sterilization and it is not hard to see that you or others will extend it to deaf population as it was done in the past.

You really think it is ok to force sterilization on a parent who chooses spoken language for their child? That is disgusting.

 

[shel90]

I know that many older deaf children especially teens love the dorm life.

I wouldn't recommend a young child to be placed in the forms but one of my friends started living in the dorms since she was 4. Went home on the weekends. She has expressed that she was so lucky to go to the dorms because nobody in her family learned ASL. She said she would have been language delayed if she didn't go to the dorms.

So, does that mean those people are wrong?

 

[faire_jour]

Then you are a sick person.

Won't be surprised if you do sterilize your kid especially if she has a deaf gene.

I couldn't understand why hearing people passed the sterilization law on the disabled when they themselves are not that smart enough to learn sign language. If they can't learn sign language in spite of two working hands, then they must be wanting in their heads. Those hearing people are disabled, period!

And screw you for saying that Grendel would sterilize her child! You really are disgusting. She has worked her ass off to make sure her child has strong ASL and access to English as well. She is an amazing mother who all parents should aspire to be like.

 

[deafgal001]

I'm with the people here who have misgivings about residential schools. I understand a child needing to be in an enriching environment, and, I also understand that it might be best for some kids to be in a res school, but it makes me twitchy to separate a child from his/her family at a very, very young age; regardless of circumstances. If it was my child, I would probably be OK with a day program, but, that's it. I don't think a child should be separated from their families in their formative years. Yes, I know, some kids do fine. But, it still bothers me.

As to the abuse/neglect aspect, I don't think that's necessarily grounds to place a kid in a residential placement. Abuse/neglect happens across all demographics. It happened to ME when I was young, and yet, nobody thought to take me away from my folks (thank GOD!). As screwed up as some families may be (mine included), they're still that child's parents, and, I honestly think you're doing more harm to the kid by taking them out of the home full time. If the child is truly endangered, place them in a deaf foster home and push to have the parents' rights terminated. If language is an issue, then, for the love of Pete, educate the parents on what they need to do for that child! But, don't separate them!

As for advocating sterilization, come on! I don't think we wanna go down that road, do we? It's really a sticky issue. There are situations in which sterilization MIGHT be necessary and best for someone, but being Deaf isn't one of them!

I feel the same way as you do. I'm glad no body took me away from my parents. I would only be happy to get away from them if I was endangered. And I wasn't. I'm still alive without a single bruise from them (they did spank me but even with that, I didn't get a bruise or cut) They did love me. they just got their own problems to deal with. but anyway, parents do send their kids to deaf school, and it our place to make sure these deaf school are safe and nurturing.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I know that many older deaf children especially teens love the dorm life.

I wouldn't recommend a young child to be placed in the forms but one of my friends started living in the dorms since she was 4. Went home on the weekends. She has expressed that she was so lucky to go to the dorms because nobody in her family learned ASL. She said she would have been language delayed if she didn't go to the dorms.

So, does that mean those people are wrong?

Not necessarily. I'm not passing judgment (or trying not to). It works out for many kids. I get that, and, will acknowledge that.

However, *I* would never send my child off to a residential school unless I HAD to. As a parent, it is that child's responsablity to tend to their needs. PERIOD. If that means the parents learn ASL, then do it. That's where I think things are getting muddy here. I'm sure back 40 yrs ago or so, parents HAD to send their kids off. Sometimes, it worked out for the child, but, sometimes it didn't.

In today's world, though, a deaf child doesn't necessarily have to be placed outside the home. The problem is simply that the parents are lazy and don't tend to the child's needs appropriately. Again, we go back to the medicalization of the deaf. It's this "Fix it" mentality that is screwing everything up. Give the child what they need, and you don't have to remove them from the home. Include ASL in with all the other advice parents are getting as soon as the child is ID'ed as deaf. Then, keep endorsing ASL throughout. That's what needs to happen. I really don't think you need to take the kid out of the home anymore.

Just my .02. But, ofc, Shel, you're seeing a lot of language delayed kids, which, is tragic. That shouldn't be happening.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I feel the same way as you do. I'm glad no body took me away from my parents. I would only be happy to get away from them if I was endangered. And I wasn't. I'm still alive without a single bruise from them (they did spank me but even with that, I didn't get a bruise or cut) They did love me. they just got their own problems to deal with. but anyway, parents do send their kids to deaf school, and it our place to make sure these deaf school are safe and nurturing.

That's also another good point about residential schools and abuse. People brought up the abuse aspect in this thread saying that parents can be abusive. That's true. Some parents are monsters (mind weren't. They were just very misguided and I suffered a lot of crap because of their "good intentions".), but, some ARE monsters. However, placing a kid in a residential school is NO gaurantee that you're providing a safe, nurturing environment for that child. You may just be taking that kid from the frying pan and placing them in the fire (a metaphor for taking a kid from a bad situation and placing them into an even worse situation).

 

[shel90]

Just the facts, ma'am.

By the way, I know quite a lot of dirty secrets. There are teachers who sexually molested children and yet are still working there to this day. The administration is aware of it and they will do anything to bury it. So therefore, the victims have to live with it.

I don't know what's going on in your area but where I work, people have gotten fired for not following protocol. So anyone who sexually molest children would be arrested on the spot.

My students have always shown a positive attitude about staying in the dorms. I have some students who live nearby who beg to go to the dorms.

Only 1 student out of all the 8 years didn't like the dorms and withdrew from it. She missed her mom too much so like I said, not every child should be sent to the forms but I disagree with shutting them down.

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

Its not just the teachers or other workers. Its other students you got look out for. But it is no different from any other dorms. Even nursing homes and rehabilitation center.they need watch out for abuse too. At several times people wanted to installed cameras in nursing homes and I disagree because I felt violating privacy was just as bad. Hire more people and someone will.more likely to get caught or wont bother trying because there's too many watchful eyes.

 

[shel90]

Not necessarily. I'm not passing judgment (or trying not to). It works out for many kids. I get that, and, will acknowledge that.

However, *I* would never send my child off to a residential school unless I HAD to. As a parent, it is that child's responsablity to tend to their needs. PERIOD. If that means the parents learn ASL, then do it. That's where I think things are getting muddy here. I'm sure back 40 yrs ago or so, parents HAD to send their kids off. Sometimes, it worked out for the child, but, sometimes it didn't.

In today's world, though, a deaf child doesn't necessarily have to be placed outside the home. The problem is simply that the parents are lazy and don't tend to the child's needs appropriately. Again, we go back to the medicalization of the deaf. It's this "Fix it" mentality that is screwing everything up. Give the child what they need, and you don't have to remove them from the home. Include ASL in with all the other advice parents are getting as soon as the child is ID'ed as deaf. Then, keep endorsing ASL throughout. That's what needs to happen. I really don't think you need to take the kid out of the home anymore.

Just my .02. But, ofc, Shel, you're seeing a lot of language delayed kids, which, is tragic. That shouldn't be happening.

I wouldnt send my child to the dorms and I know that I wouldnt put my children in situations where their well-being would be endangered. I wish all parents do the same for their children's well being.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Wirelessly posted

Its not just the teachers or other workers. Its other students you got look out for. But it is no different from any other dorms. Even nursing homes and rehabilitation center.they need watch out for abuse too. At several times people wanted to installed cameras in nursing homes and I disagree because I felt violating privacy was just as bad. Hire more people and someone will.more likely to get caught or wont bother trying because there's too many watchful eyes.

Let's not demonize residential schools. I'm trying not to do that here, because, lets face it. Some kids thrive in them. I honestly believe that, and, I don't want to see them shut down. However, what needs to happen when there IS abuse going on, is that the administration MUST deal with it APPROPRIATELY. Banjo makes a good point. When you don't report the abuse, and keep the child safe, they are often damaged FOR LIFE. But again, abuse can happen any time, anywhere. It's just how sick our society IS.

My first post in this thread was simply to say that *I* am leery about sending a kid off. In NO way, am I saying that it shouldn't be done. In a perfect world, it wouldn't be necessary. But, sometimes, it IS necessary. That's just life. But, no, residential school should NOT be necessary. Parents have a God given responsability to provide for their needs.

A lot of parents have been given the wrong advice by professionals, and, I really believe that is where things are getting SO freaking screwed up! Exactly what DO you do with a child who couldn't grasp English, and, they missed the window to learn ASL? We have such a person on this forum. I mean no disrespect, but, he is very difficult for some to understand because he's not fluent in either language (English or ASL). Trying to understand someone who doesn't have the foundation for either is DIFFICULT. Exactly, what happens to a child such as this?

So, no, I don't want to see the residential schools shut down. But, there must be a way to ensure a child's safety when they are attending. And, no, I would NOT send my four-year-old off to school year round; only to see said child on the weekends. In my opinion, that child is too young to be separated from their parents.

I guess what all this means is, I'm taking the middle road here. Provide the tools necessary for a child to thrive outside of a residential school, but, keep them open in case you have a child who fell through the cracks and needs extra support. Above all, make sure that residential school is safe for students to attend! If that means, reporting abuse, do it. If that means, prosecuting adminsterators who look the other way, do it. If that means, freaking replacing every freaking worker in the school, do it. But, providing a safe/nuturing environment for that child should be paramount to anything else!

 

[shel90]

Let's not demonize residential schools. I'm trying not to do that here, because, lets face it. Some kids thrive in them. I honestly believe that, and, I don't want to see them shut down. However, what needs to happen when there IS abuse going on, is that the administration MUST deal with it APPROPRIATELY. Banjo makes a good point. When you don't report the abuse, and keep the child safe, they are often damaged FOR LIFE. But again, abuse can happen any time, anywhere. It's just how sick our society IS.

My first post in this thread was simply to say that *I* am leery about sending a kid off. In NO way, am I saying that it shouldn't be done. In a perfect world, it wouldn't be necessary. But, sometimes, it IS necessary. That's just life. But, no, residential school should NOT be necessary. Parents have a God given responsability to provide for their needs.

A lot of parents have been given the wrong advice by professionals, and, I really believe that is where things are getting SO freaking screwed up! Exactly what DO you do with a child who couldn't grasp English, and, they missed the window to learn ASL? We have such a person on this forum. I mean no disrespect, but, he is very difficult for some to understand because he's not fluent in either language (English or ASL). Trying to understand someone who doesn't have the foundation for either is DIFFICULT. Exactly, what happens to a child such as this?

So, no, I don't want to see the residential schools shut down. But, there must be a way to ensure a child's safety when they are attending. And, no, I would NOT send my four-year-old off to school year round; only to see said child on the weekends. In my opinion, that child is too young to be separated from their parents.

I guess what all this means is, I'm taking the middle road here. Provide the tools necessary for a child to thrive outside of a residential school, but, keep them open in case you have a child who fell through the cracks and needs extra support. Above all, make sure that residential school is safe for students to attend! If that means, reporting abuse, do it. If that means, prosecuting adminsterators who look the other way, do it. If that means, freaking replacing every freaking worker in the school, do it. But, providing a safe/nuturing environment for that child should be paramount to anything else!

 

[deafgal001]

I have no intention to demonized Residential schools. I want to see it improve. all three of my great-aunts went to Residential schools.

I mention nursing home because it is happening everywhere and not target specifically at deaf. And yet some reasons people have more trust in those places.

 

[Tousi]

Just the facts, ma'am.

By the way, I know quite a lot of dirty secrets. There are teachers who sexually molested children and yet are still working there to this day. The administration is aware of it and they will do anything to bury it. So therefore, the victims have to live with it.

Maybe you should try to find a way to get the school to resolve this situation.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I have no intention to demonized Residential schools. I want to see it improve. all three of my great-aunts went to Residential schools.

I mention nursing home because it is happening everywhere and not target specifically at deaf. And yet some reasons people have more trust in those places.

I think you and I are on the same page.