I think it should be a decision you should be allowed to make for yourself. Not other people making the decision for you. Quite different from a living will, but yet similair to a living will. Like say....bone cancer. That is extremely painfull. I think if I had the option of choosing months more suffering and medical costs left for my family and going peacefully to sleep I'd jump on that. But the pain is be going through and my family having to see me like that for that much longer would be more if a motivator than the bills.
I can see why the whole "suicide" would be taboo for many, but I think it's different, you're going to die soon anyway, you're just making a decision of when.
I agree about talking with a couple of friends and spelling it out with a bit more info. There are still always exceptions, typed the exception. My living will was ignored. Had it been followed, I wouldn't be here. Die or live and learn
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It's not taboo for "us." When I made calls about dad, one relative asked the taboo question, "Was it painful?" I asked him if he wanted the truth. He did and I told him. We lied to everyone else because they didn't ask or they did and I wasn't getting into it with a room full of family. (I still have a sister who does not know what happened.)
In 1999 (Sept.) doctors operated on my dad to remove his tonsils. By late Jan. 2000, dad sent an email stating he had been diagnosed with Stage IV of neck and throat cancer. He didn't know what would kill him the treatment or the disease. Dad was given 3 - 6 months to live.
I got him hospice care. He knew just because you have hospice doesn't mean you're going to die and he never did listen to doctors. As opposed to my mom who believed the opposite and put off signing the papers to get hospice. Dad died in 2008 (over 8 years later). And, I asked the oncologist about my mom's lifespan and he was one month off. No one wanted to know. I was writing her service and needed a heads up and I was preparing for this loss and wanted that heads up - that preparation was no help for me but I still did the service.
My father-in-law was pretty obvious. We didn't need predictions.
When doctors do know you're really en route out, they have increased the amount of morphine. When the doctors talked to my husband's family about it they allowed it. But, in my 30s, I was the only one who apparently understood. I said I wasn't going home that night. They stayed with me and slept. He died the following morning as I watched... Same with my mom. She died at home around 4 a.m. I spent the knowing night holding her hand. She had a button she could press every hour (but she was not conscious), so I did it for her. I also knew what it meant. I'd call it a form of suicide (to which many others are not entitled) by doctors or family but in the gentlest sense.
The question also morphs into who is allowed suicide by doctors or one's own decision. But I think that's a bit much for this topic
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Thanks, Ambrosia.
