Hoh person totally ignores me

BrittBritt

BrittBritt

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I was in my first day of class the other day and I was using ASL terps. My ASL terp is interpreting the lecture, and all of a sudden she stops and signs, "look! There is another hoh person in this class!" She describes where the person is sitting, and I see a person with two hearing aids sitting there in the class. I was excited to have another hoh person in a class with me. I never have before. Then, I was shocked, when after class, that girl didn't even look at me when she walked out of class. I thought she would at least wave, or hell even look at me. It was like she avoided my gaze on purpose. I thought that was kind of strange. If I see a deaf/hoh person, I always say hi. It seems rude to me that she didn't. I have had four more classes with her since then and every time she walks by me, she turns her head away from me. Do you guy's think thats weird? Don't you wave or something when you see another hoh/deaf person out and about in public?
 
No, I don't...

Do you wave at every person you see wearing your favorite shoe brand? Or who has blond hair?

If I know the person, of course I would acknowledge them, but not just because they are hoh.

I have noticed some baby boomers who got hearing aids from older age related loss like to show me their hearing aids because they think we have a bond, and I am always polite and certainly do not turn away, but I am not very interested in them.

Of course if a hoh person is carrying a small poodle, then I would be thrilled to see them.
 
Yea Like what Botti mentioned, except dogs or cats or any animals then i will stop by and say HI! Why? i want to pet them!
 
I would be more friendly to someone who rescued a rottweiler from death row as opposed to someone who spent $1500 to buy a rottweiler from Champion bloodline. You see where I am coming from. I don't need to be friends with everyone who have a rottweiler.
 
Or she could be someone who is ashamed of being deaf/hoh and by acknowledging you, it would be she would have to acknowledge her identity.
 
BrittBritt, I know that the odds must have been very high to be meeting/having another deaf person in the same class. I would have thought that a Hello or some sort of acknowledgement would have been in order but this person, for some reason, either by disdain/embarrassment, etc chose not to engage. I feel bad about it but maybe in the coming days/weeks, something nice might come out of it.
 
Yes I guess I can see how some of you feel its not rude to aknowledge me just because we are both hoh. But she isn't older with hearing aids like a baby boomer. She is around my age, maybe in her mid 20s. And I also know that she knows ASL because I saw her sign a few things outside of class to someone.

I guess its just the country girl in me, I thought a simple "howdy" at least was in order. Oh well.
 
BrittBritt said:
Yes I guess I can see how some of you feel its not rude to aknowledge me just because we are both hoh. But she isn't old with hearing aids like a baby boomer. She is around my age, maybe in her mid 20s. And I also know that she knows ASL because I saw her sign a few things outside of class to someone.

I guess its just the country girl in me, I thought a simple "howdy" at least was in order. Oh well.
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Ohhh..she knows ASL. Thats strange.
 
shel90 said:
Or she could be someone who is ashamed of being deaf/hoh and by acknowledging you, it would be she would have to acknowledge her identity.
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Yes, I also thought maybe that was it. That would be too bad, but I know when we are young and trying to fit in, sometimes its hard to accept yourself.
 
When I was little, my mother used to point out other people she saw that wore hearing aids. I never knew why because I couldn't have cared less....now if that person had a dog, that was an entirely different situation....:D

Laura
 
shel90 said:
Ohhh..she knows ASL. Thats strange.
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Yes, but she doesn't use ASL in class. She can hear enough with her hearing aids it seems. But I saw her talking to a hearing person after class, and I noticed her hands make some ASL signs while she was talking. It seemed to me she wasn't aware that she was even making signs as she talked. I know some people talk with their hands while they speak, but these were the right ASL signs, so I'm sure she knows ASL.
 
Lau2046 said:
When I was little, my mother used to point out other people she saw that wore hearing aids. I never knew why because I couldn't have cared less....now if that person had a dog, that was an entirely different situation....:D

Laura
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Ok ok, I will try not to be offended then. So do you think its weird if a deaf or hoh perosn you don't know says hi and introduces themselves to you if they see you using ASL? Where I am from, other hoh people and deaf people have always responded positively when I approach using ASL. We always say hi, tell eachother names, and it seems like we always try to figure out who we know in common LOL
 
I am laughing at your post. really -- some hoh/deaf is probably BOOORED so they are so oblivious whats around them. or shy. or simply not interested. in any case, dont be offended - there is a reason and it may not be what you think. :cool2:
 
Maybe approach her when she's alone & ask if she knows any good deaf meetups in the area?
 
I guess it's the terp in me but my first reaction was to the interpreter's action. :hmm:
 
HOH people, for the most part, don't have that type of connection. Yes, someone might make a connection because of the aid, but, unlike Deaf Culture, they don't consider it an exclusive group. We don't think of ourselves as being in a clique.

Having said that, nothing is stopping you from creating a friendship with this woman. If you get the feeling she doesn't want that relationship, just respect it.

I'm sure you are going to have interaction with her at some point, perhaps for group exercises.

Also, depending on where you come from, some part of the country are more open than others so her background might not consist of open to strangers.
 
Wirelessly posted

Brit, she may very well did not see you. I have Usher Syndrome 2 and I get accused of not acknowledging or responding to people often. It is simply because i did not see or hear the person due to having tunnel vision and not hearing the person. Walk up to her and say hello to her.
 
Wirelessly posted

BrittBritt said:
shel90 said:
Or she could be someone who is ashamed of being deaf/hoh and by acknowledging you, it would be she would have to acknowledge her identity.
Click to expand...


Yes, I also thought maybe that was it. That would be too bad, but I know when we are young and trying to fit in, sometimes its hard to accept yourself.
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I doubt she is ashamed if she is being seen talking and using ASL in public.
 
BrittBritt said:
Ok ok, I will try not to be offended then. So do you think its weird if a deaf or hoh perosn you don't know says hi and introduces themselves to you if they see you using ASL? Where I am from, other hoh people and deaf people have always responded positively when I approach using ASL. We always say hi, tell eachother names, and it seems like we always try to figure out who we know in common LOL
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I knew a little ASL when I was a deaf college for a few years but I was hardly fluent. That could have been true for her as well. I think it's just your Southern upbringing that makes you put yourself out there to people. That's not a bad thing so I wouldn't change it, but just be aware that people will sometimes be indifferent to it. So don't personalize it if they don't respond in kind. BTW, I would have loved meeting someone with your attiude in school. :)

Laura
 
I can probably give some revelation from the other side, but this was many many years ago. I think I was a sophomore or junior in college, I didn't know any signs and never had any deaf culture friends. I only met one HH person and that was in high school.

Anyway, this was for socioeconomic sociology courses, there was a deaf female in our lecture of around 100-150 students. When I saw her, she had a terp and was up in the front row (this is like a movie theater setting btw, this room can seat 200+), I usually sat around the 3-5th rows depending on when I got a seat.
I was intrigued by ASL, but afraid to go up to her and say hello because I didn't know any signs. I felt like I was supposed to be a hearing person and ignore it like everyone else or something, and I did that the whole quarter. Looking back I would have made the move to greet her today, alas time moves on.

Today I don't mind meeting other people if I see them now that I know some standard of sign. I've met a few at random places, one time I was on vacation while riding a bicycle trail an saw a couple signing on their bikes :)P) and another time was an orientation.

Maybe it has to do with the hearing mentality?? Or is it just age, I was like 22-23 or something back then.
 
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