Has anyone Been abuse by a parent for being HOH?

whatdidyousay!

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Has anyone been abuse by their parent(s) for being HOH or deaf?
If you were , were you able to forgive them? I would like to know people were able let go of the abuse.
 
I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my parents for a variety of reasons including the fact that I couldn't hear well. Whenever I asked my father to repeat himself, he'd slap me across the face or start punching me in the stomach telling me how sorry he was for adopting me. My mother emotionally abused me as well. My father can rot in hell for all I care. He passed away in 1999 and if truth be told, I'm glad he's out of my life since he can no longer hurt me. As far as my mother is concerned, she died in 2004 and I miss her dearly. She would come to my defense whenever my father would try to hit me. We also had a very close relationship with each other during the 5 months she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. May she rest in peace. Parents who abuse their children in any way whether it's because they are deaf/hoh or not should be placed in jail indefinitely.
 
^wow, I'm so sorry to hear about that. You must have been through hell.
That's totally wrong what your parents did to you, just nasty.

As for me, I've never been abuse by my parents EVER!
They treated me like every other human being.
and if I were abused by them I don't think I would forgive them, no way!
 
^wow, I'm so sorry to hear about that. You must have been through hell.
That's totally wrong what your parents did to you, just nasty.

:ty:

Thanks to what my parents (mainly my father) did, I now have PTSD. I feel like I've been to hell and back because of what they've done, but I'm in the process of coping. I plan to see a new therapist tomorrow so I can start working on addressing my feelings.

Thank you again for your kind post.
 
I am sorry you had to go through this Hear Again. Good luck tomorrow. (((hugs)))
 
I am sorry you had to go through this Hear Again. Good luck tomorrow. (((hugs)))

:ty: Charlotte. <hugs back>

I can't sleep again tonight (I slept all day today because I'm depressed due to some issues I'm dealing with), so I thought I'd check AD to see what's going on.
 
This is so sad Lisa :(

I can't quite possibly imagine what it is like to be abused this way (at least to some extend) since I've been beaten too in my childhood and locked away into darkness. I'm still suffering from it nowadays and I need to find a way to deal with it at some point too.

I can't sleep in dark room and can't stand any kind of yelling or swearing at all!

<hug> JL
 
This is so sad Lisa :(

I can't quite possibly imagine what it is like to be abused this way (at least to some extend) since I've been beaten too in my childhood and locked away into darkness. I'm still suffering from it nowadays and I need to find a way to deal with it at some point too.

I can't sleep in dark room and can't stand any kind of yelling or swearing at all!

<hug> JL

Thank you Jamie. <hugs back>

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It must have been extremely frightening to be locked inside a dark room.

I can emphasize with you about being bothered by yelling. Whenever I hear people yelling, arguing or they have an angry tone in their voice, it causes me to have PTSD flashbacks and nightmares where I hear the voices of my parents and a stranger who threatened my life at knifepoint when I was 9 years old.

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist to work through your feelings?

I'm in therapy myself and will be seeing a new therapist today since the one I've been working with over the past 1.5 years didn't address my traumas as thoroughly as he should have.

My psychiatrist recommended him to me given his skills in working with people who have bipolar, PTSD and issues with self harm/cutting, so I will be seeing him instead.
 
The thing is I only started having troubles in December last year. I thought it was due to stress overload at work, which some of it is the case. After seeing psycho now four times (due to work problems) I was recommended to officially get my own psycho and my first appointment is on June 15th.

The first psycho figured out that not only work overload is my problem...

I always felt different from other (normal) people so I tried to hide my problems. I now need to learn how to take care of them and I'm on meds for the second time for depression :(

I like the meds because they work good but I'm not fond about being on meds :( LOL.

Some friends understand, some don't and they no longer want to talk to me. I have lost quite a few unfortunately which isn't a big help either... sitting home alone most of the time since December, reason why I started my favorite thing again: fitness class!!! (upon psycho suggestion)

So far I love it :D I love being back and seeing my friends from there!

:ty: for your concern!

JL
 
Jamie,

By psycho, do you mean a psychologist or psychiatrist?

I know what you mean about being on meds. I'm on a total of
8 meds (5 for bipolar, 2 for migraines and one for allergies)

I'm patiently waiting for the day when they come up with ONE pill I can take for my bipolar.

My migraine and allergy meds aren't so bad because I only take them once/day or as needed.

My bipolar meds are taken 3-4x/day which can be a real nuisance especially when I travel. One of the meds I take in particular can only be mixed with soft food, so I always need to make sure to have pudding or applesauce with me.
 
Ancient Japanese swordsmiths knew that to make a razor-sharp sword, one needed hard steel. But, hard steel was brittle - it was not flexible and would break easily when struck against another weapon. Soft steel, on the other hand, was very resistant to breaking, but was too soft to hone to a sharp cutting edge.

Thus, the swordsmiths created the method of repeatedly hammering together a layer of soft and hard steel, folding it over, heating it - then hammering, folding, heating... Many many times the metal was subjected to extreme force and heat.

Eventually, a blade began to form, a merging of the weak-but-flexible and the hard-but-brittle creating a blade that could withstand vast pressure, yet remain so sharp as to slice through the toughest muscle and bone dozens of times over: The katana was born.

This analogy is used sometimes to illustrate the properties of yin and yang - merging two opposite ideals to create a balanced and powerful whole. Othertimes, to me at least, it also illustrates how the strongest people are often those that have been forged harshly in life - hammered, bent and folded, gone through the fire and come back. Experiences that were so sharp and emotional they could be used to cut at others, yet so brittle the heart easily shatters; the times in life that were so peaceful and pleasent they make you feel as if you could deal with anything, but would fail to defend in times of need - these two, weak on their own, can be forged to create a perfect blade, a perfect being.

The question I often ask myself is - what or whom wields the hammer, and what is my anvil?
 
I meant: psychologist

I only take my meds in the evening when I'm alone at home. That's where I tend to get depressive. Also it helps me sleep elseway my mind is wandering places which keeps me from sleeping and/or having nightmares :(

JL
 
Othertimes, to me at least, it also illustrates how the strongest people are often those that have been forged harshly in life

Friends I'm still close to, tell me how strong I am because some think they might have lost their mind already if this had happened to them <shrug>. The thing is, I am strong because I kep those feelings away... which now make me have troubles of keeping them inside, which means I'm feeling weak now... but I still have a strong character/temper (unless I'm feeling depressive...)

JL
 
I meant: psychologist

I only take my meds in the evening when I'm alone at home. That's where I tend to get depressive. Also it helps me sleep elseway my mind is wandering places which keeps me from sleeping and/or having nightmares :(

JL

If you don't mind my asking, what meds do you take? (You can send me a PM if you wish. If you'd rather not answer, that's fine too.)

I take Prozac for my depression and I find that it also helps with my anxiety related to PTSD. I still have daily flashbacks and nightmares, but the overall level of anxiety I feel isn't as severe as it was before I started taking this med.

:ty: for clarifying what you meant in your post. I thought you were referring to a psychologist, but I wanted to make sure since you also mentioned taking meds which psychologists cannot prescribe.
 
Friends I'm still close to, tell me how strong I am because some think they might have lost their mind already if this had happened to them <shrug>. The thing is, I am strong because I kep those feelings away... which now make me have troubles of keeping them inside, which means I'm feeling weak now... but I still have a strong character/temper (unless I'm feeling depressive...)

JL

Same here Jamie. People tell me all the time how brave I am due to my blindness, deafness, bipolar, traumas and other health conditions I have.

If anything, I think my disabilities, traumas and health issues have all taught me how to be a more patient person and to look at the good in life rather than always looking at the negatives (although I'm struggling with that now)
 
I am strong because I kep those feelings away... which now make me have troubles of keeping them inside, which means I'm feeling weak now...

I have been in a similar situation. If you try and think of your feelings' message here in terms of the metals of the katana, what metal sword are your feelings trying to be like? It seems that they might be going from a hard steel (lending you an edge, but at the price of being breakable) to a soft steel (expressing the emotion dulls the pain and relieves the pressure of breaking, but at the cost of focus and strength).

I don't want to suggest I have any answers or solutions, even speaking from my own experience, because only you can know yourself truely. But, I hope that it will give you something to think about, perhaps to talk about with your therapist, and allow you an opportunity to think about things in a different light, at least just for a breath of fresh air :)

Amitofu!
 
KungFu,

I don't understand your analogy about metal and emotions. Could you elaborate?
 
I am sorry for all the sad things about what happened to folks on here but also I see such strength in the posts and feel priviledged to share your words -:grouphug:

KungFu, I appreciate your thoughts; reminds me of things we have discussed in Tai Chi :D
 
KungFu, I appreciate your thoughts; reminds me of things we have discussed in Tai Chi :D

Would you mind sharing them dogmom? I'm trying to cope with my traumas and could use all the advice I can get.
 
Try thinking about it like this - this is from my own experience, so it may not be quite as accurate for you:

Times when your emotions are pushed down inside, creates so much pressure inside that it can sharpen you, making you feel hard and on the edge. However, this means that just a small change in pressure - an event that takes you by surprise, or something that allows your emotions to 'leak out' from under that internal pressure, could cause you to 'break' - all the emotions rushing out at once, or maybe cause your mind to just shutdown in helplessness, in worst-case scenarios. This is what I think is hard emotion, or hard steel sword.

When you feel buried by your feelings, when they are so numerous and flow out of you, it can feel like you are seperated from the world - you are forced to pay so much attention to yourself and your feelings that no outside force can distract you, or alter your mind. Consequently, your energy is consumed by the effort needed to attend to so much feeling, that your edge in life - your motivation and willpower - is sapped, blunted. This is what I think is soft emotion, or a soft steel sword.

Does that help somewhat?
 
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