Does anyone else feel like their life was ruined by mainstream school

[KristinaB]

Okay, ignorant questions from me here, sorry everyone.

What's the difference between "mainstream" and "public" as far as schools go? Is it basically the same things, just called two different things? I know there's "public", "private", "charter" and "at-risk".

 

[deafdyke]

In elementary school, I had FM system and teacher aide to sit next to me in class to help me follow along in class (but I didn't need that when I entered middle school). I also attended weekly sessions with my deaf education teachers until I entered middle school. But if the materials taught in the class were easy to learn and study, then I guess having minimal accommodations are good enough. But it's a different story in college, where the classes are much more technical, advanced and move at rapid-pace, so I use more accommodations than I had in middle and high school.

My social life in elementary schools were very good, then it took a plummet when I entered middle school and picked up a bit in high school with few good friends...but seriously, I hated high school. I was nothing like my classmates who were interested in the more shallow stuff, the classes were mostly boring and easy, and living with parents were annoying in two boring towns. Boy, I was so glad to leave for college!

Again you were a pretty good minimal accomondations kid. ...and you had a pretty decent social life in elementary school...that's kind of unusual ...and your social issues were due more ot being a smart kid, then about being a hoh kid.....god my experiance was horrible .....kids thought I was mentally handicapped b/c of the way I spoke. which then translated into a horrible social life

 

[rebeccalj]

How do you say, "Do not like," deafdyke?

 

[Lily7]

Okay, ignorant questions from me here, sorry everyone.

What's the difference between "mainstream" and "public" as far as schools go? Is it basically the same things, just called two different things? I know there's "public", "private", "charter" and "at-risk".

Public is simply the public school system, as opposed to private, etc.

Mainstream means the deaf kids are put in the same classes as the hearing kids and the deaf kids must adapt in whatever way they can. As opposed to the deaf kids being put in "deaf education" classes, which are full of ONLY deaf kids, or a deaf school entirely.

Back in the day public schools had a Deaf Education program - the deaf kids went to the same physical school but did not attend classes with their hearing peers, only the deaf ones, they had separate classes just for the deaf kids in the same school and usually they weren't even on the same learning schedule, either. They did share lunch and recess with the hearing kids, though, at least they did at my school.

I was only in it for a very short time before my mother became unhappy with the lack of progress I was making and insisted I be put with the hearing kids instead. Which I was. So at that point, I became mainstreamed.

Eventually, I believe that the deaf education programs were overhauled so that ALL deaf kids in regular schools were mainstreamed and there were no more exclusive deaf classes.

I believe mainstreaming mainly has to do with the public schools because they were typically the only non-deaf schools that had a deaf education program, although it is possible some private schools may have had their own version of it. But the point is, a deaf kid can be mainstreamed at any type of school.

 

[KristinaB]

Thank you Lily7. That means, that I was mainstreamed in my local public schools.

We had nothing available as far as services and I was the only hoh/deaf student there. This was in the years from 1969 to 1979. 80 & 81 I was in a different district and did not qualify for special services since my parents could not afford HA's for me, so, no services.

 

[deafdyke]

Back in the day public schools had a Deaf Education program - the deaf kids went to the same physical school but did not attend classes with their hearing peers, only the deaf ones, they had separate classes just for the deaf kids in the same school and usually they weren't even on the same learning schedule, either. They did share lunch and recess with the hearing kids, though, at least they did at my school.

I was only in it for a very short time before my mother became unhappy with the lack of progress I was making and insisted I be put with the hearing kids instead. Which I was. So at that point, I became mainstreamed.

Eventually, I believe that the deaf education programs were overhauled so that ALL deaf kids in regular schools were mainstreamed and there were no more exclusive deaf classes.
.

There's still a lot of Deaf Ed regional programs. Not all kids are solotaire streamed.

 

[THExistential]

People always had the misconception that because I could speak clearly that I could hear more than I could (lots of agonising speech therapy and I became deaf at around age 5)...........i figured a social life would be better than neither social life or education.. My parents flat out refused..so ridiculous! I feel sorry for anyone that had to go through what I did by being mainstreamed!

I have been severely hard of hearing my entire life, and my parents were told by the doctors that they didn't know whether I'd go deaf out of nowhere overnight someday, or how quickly I would progress into deafness. But they still never thought to put me in a school where I would be other kids like me, and learn a language I would always be able to understand no matter what happened, so that THEY could communicate with me when it happens, so that when it happens, I won't be without a means of expressing myself.

But, no. I was in public school because they wanted SO BAD for me to never feel different, to believe that hearing aids were the only answer, that hearing aids fixed everything. Regardless of how THEY felt, my peers still treated me like I was a retard and made fun of me all throughout school.

I resent that I was forced to always live chasing to keep up with the hearing world instead of given a way to relax and be myself in a world that could be mine. INstead I've been isolated from people that are like me, and forced to learn how to live barely able to hear in a world where people can't be patient, can't wait, and can't slow down for lil' ol' Lily.

so...

I know how you feel

 

[deafskeptic]

I have been severely hard of hearing my entire life, and my parents were told by the doctors that they didn't know whether I'd go deaf out of nowhere overnight someday, or how quickly I would progress into deafness. But they still never thought to put me in a school where I would be other kids like me, and learn a language I would always be able to understand no matter what happened, so that THEY could communicate with me when it happens, so that when it happens, I won't be without a means of expressing myself.

But, no. I was in public school because they wanted SO BAD for me to never feel different, to believe that hearing aids were the only answer, that hearing aids fixed everything. Regardless of how THEY felt, my peers still treated me like I was a retard and made fun of me all throughout school.

I resent that I was forced to always live chasing to keep up with the hearing world instead of given a way to relax and be myself in a world that could be mine. INstead I've been isolated from people that are like me, and forced to learn how to live barely able to hear in a world where people can't be patient, can't wait, and can't slow down for lil' ol' Lily.

so...

I know how you feel

Yeah. I always felt like I was playing johnny catch up in mainstream and hearing world.

 

[deafdyke]

I have been severely hard of hearing my entire life, and my parents were told by the doctors that they didn't know whether I'd go deaf out of nowhere overnight someday, or how quickly I would progress into deafness. But they still never thought to put me in a school where I would be other kids like me, and learn a language I would always be able to understand no matter what happened, so that THEY could communicate with me when it happens, so that when it happens, I won't be without a means of expressing myself.

But, no. I was in public school because they wanted SO BAD for me to never feel different, to believe that hearing aids were the only answer, that hearing aids fixed everything. Regardless of how THEY felt, my peers still treated me like I was a retard and made fun of me all throughout school.

I resent that I was forced to always live chasing to keep up with the hearing world instead of given a way to relax and be myself in a world that could be mine. INstead I've been isolated from people that are like me, and forced to learn how to live barely able to hear in a world where people can't be patient, can't wait, and can't slow down for lil' ol' Lily.

so...

I know how you feel

Again.........Inclusion and mainstreaming just has too many flaws for it to really work. How many stories like this do we constantly have to hear before realizing that this whole ideal of the minimal accomondations kid who thrives socially and emotionally with minimal accomondations is something dreamed up by the Moogs/Geers/ AG Bell Oral Idealists?

 

[deafdyke]

And to add....why is it that the pro oralists never seem to remember that although oral deaf kids can hear and talk, they still have deaf voices? Heck I was made fun of and thought of as mentally disabled b/c of the way I talk....and I have the vocab of someone in AP English. (my verbal IQ is high normal, and if corrected for the fact that I was unaided until three, it's super sky high)

 

[Lily7]

I have been severely hard of hearing my entire life, and my parents were told by the doctors that they didn't know whether I'd go deaf out of nowhere overnight someday, or how quickly I would progress into deafness. But they still never thought to put me in a school where I would be other kids like me, and learn a language I would always be able to understand no matter what happened, so that THEY could communicate with me when it happens, so that when it happens, I won't be without a means of expressing myself.

But, no. I was in public school because they wanted SO BAD for me to never feel different, to believe that hearing aids were the only answer, that hearing aids fixed everything. Regardless of how THEY felt, my peers still treated me like I was a retard and made fun of me all throughout school.

I resent that I was forced to always live chasing to keep up with the hearing world instead of given a way to relax and be myself in a world that could be mine. INstead I've been isolated from people that are like me, and forced to learn how to live barely able to hear in a world where people can't be patient, can't wait, and can't slow down for lil' ol' Lily.

so...

I know how you feel

I could have written this post. I totally identify.

 

[deafdyke]

Someone needs to give this thread to the pro inclusionists and the AG Bell auditory verbalists.......God, they're presenting auditory verbal style intervention as something innotvative. Those of us who ARE HOH HAVE experianced inclusion and auditory verbal style intervention. Look Geers, Moog and Flexor you're still stuck in the '40's when AVT was seen as innovative. Even HOH kids used to attend Deaf Schools or dhh programs you know. Most kids are solotaire streamed. Yet there hasn't been a giant uptick in acheivement, has there?

 

[DeafRaptor]

Okay, ignorant questions from me here, sorry everyone.

What's the difference between "mainstream" and "public" as far as schools go? Is it basically the same things, just called two different things? I know there's "public", "private", "charter" and "at-risk".

I have always used the word mainstream with the follow definition. So they can go to public or private school. To be honest, I don't know what charter or at-risk are.

Mainstream

verb (used with object): to place (handicapped students) in regular school classes.

 

[DeafRaptor]

On the other hand.......social emotional development is VERY important, and is often glossed over or swept under the rug. The trouble is.......it's not just kids being painfully shy or socially awkward. We're talking about situtions like kids never having had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we're talking about kids who think that people who smile at them or who interact normally with them are their best friends, we're talking about people who are so desperately lonely that they get sucked into abusive realtionships.QUOTE]

What you said is right on the money. I feel embarrassed :Oops: to admit it (but I am trying an early year resolution to be more open about myself, my feelings, etc instead of brushing them under a rug), but I am painfully shy and socially awkward, I have never had a boyfriend and only made my first friend last year, and I often see friendliness and desperately wonder if they will be my new best friend. I am worried that I will be so desperate for a relationship that I will get sucked into a horrible one rather than risk feeling lonely again.

 

[DeafRaptor]

...But, no. I was in public school because they wanted SO BAD for me to never feel different, to believe that hearing aids were the only answer, that hearing aids fixed everything. Regardless of how THEY felt, my peers still treated me like I was a retard and made fun of me all throughout school...

I think when hearing people sometimes say death, when they mean deaf, it is actually a very accurate assessment of hearing people's subconscious views on deafness. When your parents heard about your deafness, I think they started in the grieving process due to feeling a loss that their child wasn't perfectly hearing like them. Unfortunately, it looks like they, as so many do, got stuck on the first stage: shock & denial. That is why it is so natural and important for the deaf community to create a culture and language, in order to separate ourselves from the unhealthy label of death that hearing people have attached to us. We are still alive, still have lots to live for, and can still live fully happy and productive lives.

 

[deafdyke]

What you said is right on the money. I feel embarrassed :Oops: to admit it (but I am trying an early year resolution to be more open about myself, my feelings, etc instead of brushing them under a rug), but I am painfully shy and socially awkward, I have never had a boyfriend and only made my first friend last year, and I often see friendliness and desperately wonder if they will be my new best friend. I am worried that I will be so desperate for a relationship that I will get sucked into a horrible one rather than risk feeling lonely again.

Oh tell me about it....I'm always freaking out around hearing people, thinking " am I paying too much attnetion to them?" " do they really like me? etc etc?" heck I'm that way with my second mom and she signs!!!!!

 

[meirad]

Wow, I can relate to all of these posts... I think I have some hearing loss, Auditory Processing Disorder and Tinittus, getting testing done over the summer, but here's how my life has been.

1-2 grade: slowly turned outcast all friends left to be popular. My mom thought i needed some social and had me join the girls scouts, after one meeting i was banned, no explanation etc.
3-4 grade: homeschooled
5 grade: Probably some of the best teachers i've ever had (switched school halfway through semester) social life non-existent.
6 grade: History teacher of evil, made sure i never recieved any homework from the class, when i was ill in class i was forced to stay in my seat instead of being able to run to the bathroom. When she wasn't causing me trouble in class and i was walking home someone would follow me the entire way to my house calling me names the entire way. Dropped out of school.
Got a job, my crippling social skills got me fired. The boss looked me right in the eye before giving me my checks and told me i would never work anywhere but a factory for the rest of my life. I believe it was a ten minute speech on how useless i am. I took my checks and stalked home before breaking into tears.

College: Attempting to make up for all the years that i neglected math, trying to get my GED etc. Started with a 4.0 GPA it's been falling steadily into the 3.0 range as classes get harder and transition to lectures.

I dropped math, couldn't understand the teacher, social life non-existent, teachers refuse to cut me any slack. I always feel like the third wheel in conversations to the point where i wonder why even try anymore? I go to class pray for it to be over, head home and study until midnight praying for a c or better to keep my phi theta kappa honors. I'm not allowed to record any audio etc. Life is a living h3ll on campus. I can't hear anyone when they are talking to me except mumbling so i'm ignored, scoffed, laughed at and called names... I'm always telling my mom i hate college, but she believe learning is supposed to be fun and i should enjoy it, especially since i'm the first in the family even barely making it to college.

I don't know ASL, although in second grade i learned finger spelling, wasn't allowed to use it though. It was a week long program of "sign language / braille" . Basically it wen't something like these people are disabled, here's how us genius hearing and seeing people created languages for them. I hated their methods but loved the asl. Come to think of it, they bullied me too... Stole my book and my ribbons (the teachers not the students). ... -_-

 

[deafdyke]

Life is a living h3ll on campus. I can't hear anyone when they are talking to me except mumbling so i'm ignored, scoffed, laughed at and called names... I'm always telling my mom i hate college, but she believe learning is supposed to be fun and i should enjoy it, especially since i'm the first in the family even barely making it to college.

in that case, transfer to Gally or NTID...you're have a MUCH better experiance!

 

[CSign]

Wow, I can relate to all of these posts... I think I have some hearing loss, Auditory Processing Disorder and Tinittus, getting testing done over the summer, but here's how my life has been.

Have you been to an audiologist to have your hearing checked?

I recently heard about some new product or something to help with tinnitus... The name is escaping me right now...

 

[Frisky Feline]

I recently heard about some new product or something to help with tinnitus... The name is escaping me right now...

oh really? I have never heard of new product or something to help the tinntius yet. I suggest you not to mention it until the actual product exists becuase they are struggling to deal with the tinnitus. tsk tsk tsk.