Does anyone else feel like their life was ruined by mainstream school

Not sure if I would say ruined, but it did feel like I spent my whole school pleasing the hearing world, accommodating and doing everything their way, their rules etc.. it did help me survive the hearing world with jobs.. but yet feeling empty and hard to truly express my feelings. But when talk with another deaf in ask suddenly feel relaxed, no rules free to tease, chat deep etc. Would I be in a different direction had I gone to a deaf school? Probably... But not gonna cry over spilled milk. Just gonna move on. Thx for the question and allowing me to express.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I think you have to gauge the person being put through it, I went to school with a kid that had severe seeing issues, he was almost blind. I wouldn't have sent him to mainstream school because I think it was more harm than good. I'm sure the emotional scares haven't healed yet for him.

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Actually did you know that blind schools have a very high percentage of multihandicapped kids? There are a handful of just blind kids (especially at Overbrooke School for the Blind, Florida School for the Deaf and Blind and Texas School for the Blind) but damn......blind and low vision kids are even more solotaire mainstreamed then dhh kids are!
 
deafdyke said:
Actually did you know that blind schools have a very high percentage of multihandicapped kids? There are a handful of just blind kids (especially at Overbrooke School for the Blind, Florida School for the Deaf and Blind and Texas School for the Blind) but damn......blind and low vision kids are even more solotaire mainstreamed then dhh kids are!
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I did not know that.

That fact of the matter is, kids don't have laws like adults do so it really doesn't matter where you send a special needs kid, he is going to find it hard with other kids. The best you can hope for is that it is NOT the worst place you can send him.

Unfortunately, a lot of special schools are located in bad parts of town when, in fact, special needs kids come from all over. And, a special need kid is not a "problem" kid.
 
If I may, I'd like to rephrase that sentence:

A kid who has special needs is not a kid with problems. ;)
 
shel90 said:
One other ADer stated that because we lived such unhappy lives being mainstreamed, it doesnt mean that others lived unhappy lives as well.

However, all I can see is the influx of deaf newcomers to AD who have such eearily similiar experiences with mainstreaming as I did.

That says a LOT...

Those parents just keep trying to ignore that. Whatever.
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I hear the stories from students as well. Heartbreaking. And they all ring the same bell...so many different people from all walks of life, sharing one common experience of being stuck in a foreign world.
 
I know I've mentioned this several times across this board, but of all of my horrible life experiences (trust me, I've had some traumatic events in my life) - being mainstreamed has caused the most damage. I'm dealing with it, with grace, but it still affects me even today. I do not understand how some parents simply discount that experience by telling me that not all kids have my kind of experience...when it is so obvious that a large number of deaf people do.
 
deafskeptic said:
You're one of the fortunate ones.
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Yep...


Babyblue...do you think it is because you also had exposure to ASL and access to the Deaf community that helped you through your mainstreaming years?
 
deafbajagal said:
I hear the stories from students as well. Heartbreaking. And they all ring the same bell...so many different people from all walks of life, sharing one common experience of being stuck in a foreign world.
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And the sad thing is that it's still happening...Crappy mainstream experiances are happening with both oral and signing kids.
 
It was when my dad came to visit, and i had a black eye...I was lucky when I told my dad what kind of treatment I got at school I'm sure I don't need to relate them as u all know... He told me if a kid ever lays a hand on me wrongly to kick the heck out of them. Well I'm glad to say it suddenly made kids leave me alone.
 
deafbajagal said:
I know I've mentioned this several times across this board, but of all of my horrible life experiences (trust me, I've had some traumatic events in my life) - being mainstreamed has caused the most damage. I'm dealing with it, with grace, but it still affects me even today. I do not understand how some parents simply discount that experience by telling me that not all kids have my kind of experience...when it is so obvious that a large number of deaf people do.
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I think it's the fact that parents seem to be "ooo and ahh" that their "different" kid is functioning as "normal" jillo has said that she sees a LOT of kids whose parents think that everything is A-OK, but in reality their kid is suffering from the downsides of "inclusion" and oral only.
I mean yeah there are kids who thrive with minimal accomondations, and don't even have any social issues....but man those kids seem to be the type who would have thrived even before 1974.
 
I went through the same thing you did as well as my best friend. We were both the only deaf in the entire county that went to high end mainstreamed schools--both of us had a variety of communication bridges. She had an interpreter whereas I, like you, was so embarassed by my Deafness I chose to not have any support but my own hearing aids.
Again, like you, I went off to Gallaudet and I found my identity there and all of my best friends are from there. I don't believe mainstreaming ruined our lives, we basically got the best of both worlds. its never too late to develop ourselves--i'm in the process of developing myself right now, with my hearing loss, and well...it's a part of life.

I agree that social development in younger years is important, but it's never too late to get involved in it at a later age..no matter how painfully shy you are or socially awkward. I am both of those things....I like to think of it as being "late bloomers". As lame as that sounds, it is true. But think of being mainstreamed and going to Gallaudet as a great experience--getting the best of both worlds.
 
I was mainstreamed all my life. I have mixed feelings on it. I wish I had learned sign language, and I was not raised oral. I do love my friends I made in a "regular " school.. and I love having equal chances as everyone else.. I was very invovled in drama club, in newspaper, in color guard.. on the swim team. And I was on the honor roll and such.
I was raised completly oral though.. and I struggled. .. it was not an easy journey at all.. and I hate my parents for that. I always had to sit in the front of the class.. struggle to keep up. Taking notes was a night mare. I always felt like I was falling behind. A lot of teachers did not understand.. nor took the time to understand.
My hearing loss went from ok to BAD in high school and it was a hard time for me.. and it seemed like no one around me understood.
My parents were not very understanding at all.. and well.. it was not a happy mix. I was very depressed to say the least.

if I could go back and do it over again..
I would choose.. both mainstream and deaf school mix.. so I could be part of both worlds? I love being oral, don't get me wrong. Most people don't even know I am DEAF, till I tell them, I speak quite good.. and I love that for work.. and for being out with my family. But I wish I could sign.. wish I had more deaf friends.. wish that I could have gotten more help in school and had poeple who understood my feelings and needs more.
 
dotcomkari said:
I was mainstreamed all my life. I have mixed feelings on it. I wish I had learned sign language, and I was not raised oral. I do love my friends I made in a "regular " school.. and I love having equal chances as everyone else.. I was very invovled in drama club, in newspaper, in color guard.. on the swim team. And I was on the honor roll and such.
I was raised completly oral though.. and I struggled. .. it was not an easy journey at all.. and I hate my parents for that. I always had to sit in the front of the class.. struggle to keep up. Taking notes was a night mare. I always felt like I was falling behind. A lot of teachers did not understand.. nor took the time to understand.
My hearing loss went from ok to BAD in high school and it was a hard time for me.. and it seemed like no one around me understood.
My parents were not very understanding at all.. and well.. it was not a happy mix. I was very depressed to say the least.

if I could go back and do it over again..
I would choose.. both mainstream and deaf school mix.. so I could be part of both worlds? I love being oral, don't get me wrong. Most people don't even know I am DEAF, till I tell them, I speak quite good.. and I love that for work.. and for being out with my family. But I wish I could sign.. wish I had more deaf friends.. wish that I could have gotten more help in school and had poeple who understood my feelings and needs more.
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That is what many of us believe in. Giving every deaf child exposure to BOTH.


ENOUGH with the oralism only philosophy! It needs to be banned. Seriously.
 
serendipity8719 said:
I agree that social development in younger years is important, but it's never too late to get involved in it at a later age..no matter how painfully shy you are or socially awkward. I am both of those things....I like to think of it as being "late bloomers". As lame as that sounds, it is true. But think of being mainstreamed and going to Gallaudet as a great experience--getting the best of both worlds.
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On the other hand.......social emotional development is VERY important, and is often glossed over or swept under the rug. The trouble is.......it's not just kids being painfully shy or socially awkward. We're talking about situtions like kids never having had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we're talking about kids who think that people who smile at them or who interact normally with them are their best friends, we're talking about people who are so desperately lonely that they get sucked into abusive realtionships (I know a hoh mainstreamed girl who ended up with a mentally abusive man, who also abused, pot, coke and brake fluid. She told me that he told her that if he killed her, they would never find the body. Yet she stayed with him b/c he was "so sweet" :roll:
I know a girl who has a "boyfriend" who doesn't like talking to her and her "friends" basicly just use her.
Heck, if I had a dollar for every single solotaire mainstreamed guy I know, who has ever IMd me wanting a girlfriend I'd be RICH!!!!! Solotaire streaming sucks, and should only be used on a very limited basis. Most dhh kids should attend formal dhh programs or schools. Granted a lot of kids might not need the intensity of a Deaf school placement or to attend deaf school P-12.....but a lot of kid would benifit from going to regional cooperative programs.
 
shel90 said:
That is what many of us believe in. Giving every deaf child exposure to BOTH.


ENOUGH with the oralism only philosophy! It needs to be banned. Seriously.
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Ditto! I just don't get WHY Clarke seems to push oral only and mainstreaming as some innovative placement. It's not and hasn't been since my second mom was in jr high. (and Nancy is in her 50s)
 
serendipity8719 said:
I went through the same thing you did as well as my best friend. We were both the only deaf in the entire county that went to high end mainstreamed schools--both of us had a variety of communication bridges. She had an interpreter whereas I, like you, was so embarassed by my Deafness I chose to not have any support but my own hearing aids.
Again, like you, I went off to Gallaudet and I found my identity there and all of my best friends are from there. I don't believe mainstreaming ruined our lives, we basically got the best of both worlds. its never too late to develop ourselves--i'm in the process of developing myself right now, with my hearing loss, and well...it's a part of life.

I agree that social development in younger years is important, but it's never too late to get involved in it at a later age..no matter how painfully shy you are or socially awkward. I am both of those things....I like to think of it as being "late bloomers". As lame as that sounds, it is true. But think of being mainstreamed and going to Gallaudet as a great experience--getting the best of both worlds.
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for some deaf people it become too late...


they get involved with drugs, prostituation, alcoholism, anexoria/blumina, and get themselves into abusive relationships and get killed before they get involved at a later age.

Nope, accepting that deaf people are "late bloomers" at the sake of oralism or mainstreaming shoud NEVER be accepted.
 
Jiro said:
My life wasn't ruined by mainstream schools. I was in mainstream schools all my life. I've had good times. Teachers were great. My childhood life was pretty good.

Bad Part? I felt left out or felt like a third wheel even though I was involved in many activities and friend gatherings because I don't know what they were saying. I can't keep up.

Few years ago - I learned ASL and met many deaf people. Could not believe how much I was missing out in group social conversations. Now I know what people are really talking about and my life just got more interesting :)
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Ditto!!! That makes two of us (although I changed a lot more schools than you). I didn't have horrible mainstreaming experience and I was already way ahead of my peers academically in middle and high school. But as for my social life....yeah, it's okay, but could be better. But hey, my social life now pretty much exploded left and right since I left high school. ^_^

I had very good, caring special education/deaf teachers in elementary school who oversaw my language + academic development, and they (including my parents!) were the ones who also helped me to start reading a lot of books in first grade. I guess I was very lucky to have those teachers.
 
shel90 said:
for some deaf people it become too late...


they get involved with drugs, prostituation, alcoholism, anexoria/blumina, and get themselves into abusive relationships and get killed before they get involved at a later age.

Nope, accepting that deaf people are "late bloomers" at the sake of oralism or mainstreaming shoud NEVER be accepted.
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right on shel!!!!!!!! They have such poor self worth that they develop mental issues or get sucked into abusive realtionships thinking that "oh it's better then being alone"
 
sheila022 said:
Ditto!!! That makes two of us (although I changed a lot more schools than you). I didn't have horrible mainstreaming experience and I was already way ahead of my peers academically in middle and high school. But as for my social life....yeah, it's okay, but could be better. But hey, my social life now pretty much exploded left and right since I left high school. ^_^

I had very good, caring special education/deaf teachers in elementary school who oversaw my language + academic development, and they were the ones who also helped me to start reading a lot of books in first grade. I guess I was very lucky to have those teachers.
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Yes, but weren't you a minimal accomondations kid? You prolly would have done well orally and mainstreamed even in the 40's or 50's or 60's. And yet you also mention severe social issues....damn that really says something!
 
deafdyke said:
Yes, but weren't you a minimal accomondations kid? You prolly would have done well orally and mainstreamed even in the 40's or 50's or 60's. And yet you also mention severe social issues....damn that really says something!
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In elementary school, I had FM system and teacher aide to sit next to me in class to help me follow along in class (but I didn't need that when I entered middle school). I also attended weekly sessions with my deaf education teachers until I entered middle school. But if the materials taught in the class were easy to learn and study, then I guess having minimal accommodations are good enough. But it's a different story in college, where the classes are much more technical, advanced and move at rapid-pace, so I use more accommodations than I had in middle and high school.

My social life in elementary schools were very good, then it took a plummet when I entered middle school and picked up a bit in high school with few good friends...but seriously, I hated high school. I was nothing like my classmates who were interested in the more shallow stuff, the classes were mostly boring and easy, and living with parents were annoying in two boring towns. Boy, I was so glad to leave for college!
 
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