Dicussion about CI.

Ah, she grew up with a CI... interesting.. I recall she grew up with HA's.....
Have you read anything of members here that HA's and then got CI... and what the difference is... Guess not.!
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*shakes head* Not quite.....I mean Shel did grow up with HAs, but there's still a significent number of severe and profound people (including kids) who are functionally hoh (just like CI people) with traditional HAs. I don't deny that changing from HA to CI is amazing.............but that's more like someone who is audilogically hoh "upgrading" from an ITE to a BTE.
 
shel90 said:
That was the feeling I got cuz so many deaf adults here on AD has posted their experiences with the frustrations of their needs not being met and I get the feeling that there is some denial going on as if our experiences are too much for the parents to read about?
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I think you're right shel. So many parents seem to take the attitude that they will be the one in a million parent that is a good enough parent to overcome all of the obstacles. It doesn't have anything to do with being a good parent, it has to do with accepting the reality of what it is to live with deafness, and some parents just don't seem to be ready to accept it. I understood that I could not protect my son from all the hardships he would endure, and that I had no idea of what is was to grow up as a deaf child or to live as a deaf adult. Without that knowledge, I really didn't have a relistic grasp on what his true needs were, but only what I saw his needs to be from a hearing perspective. That's why I went into the deaf community when my son was only a toddler, and asked them to explain to me what a deaf child needs, and to share their experiences with me. I saw that as the only way I could truly understand what he needed, and the only way I could go about giving him what he needed. I received so much valuable information from the Deaf adults that were willing to spend time with me, and share their experiences in order to help my son--a child they didn't even know! I know that because these people were willing to be so honest and to help me, I was able to be a better parent to my son, and I know htat he is ahappier well adjusted adult as a result. Only by talking to Deaf adults was I able to see things that I, as a hearing person would never have considered. It has been a learning experience for me, but I will be forever grateful for the experience because it has enriched my life. Someone asked me not long ago to give an example of something I learned from the experience of raising a deaf child, and I thought back to my son participating in a signing choir at school. My response was, "I have learned that music seen is as beautiful as music heard." That is an experience I would never have understood without exposure to the Deaf community, and it is an experience that has changed my perspective on what is important.
 
Cheri said:
:gpost: !!!!!


Jillio, Are you also a hearing parent yourself with a deaf child?
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Yes, I am. My son is severe to profoundly deaf bilaterally. From the 4th grade on, he attended St. Rita School for the Deaf. He does not have a CI--doesn't want one--and refuses to wear his HA most of the time because he says that the noise interferes with this ability to concentrate on visual cues. He is now 20 years old, a college student at a hearing college with an interpreter in class, and is doing very well. I attribute his success to my insistence that fromthe time he was about 18 months old, I asked the Deaf community to tell me what it was like to be a deaf child, what they felt their needs were, and what I could do to teach my son the skills he needed to live with being deaf.
 
Oh, Cheri, I should say also, that he did not go to the Deaf school as a residential student. He was home with me every night.
 
deafdyke said:
Ditto! What Cloggy and some of the other parents don't understand is that OUR parents were told pretty much the same stuff, that you were told. Some of us suceeded under that approach............but a lot of us simply didn't do as well as we could have. Sure a dhh kid can hear and speak decently........but the fact is, that for the gross majority of dhh kids, speech and spoken language will always be not exactly a strengh. Why concentrate so much on a weakness? Sure, most kids will be able to aquiare basic spoken language skills..........but withholding "special needs" things simply b/c "oh they've mastered a mainstream skill.........providing anything else is simply gonna be a "crutch".................Sorry, but why are parents and people so obessed with the fact that some people with CI can "hear" without speechreading? Most of the arguments against special needs methods are VERY ableist. That is they look down on disabled things b/c disabled methods and things aren't as "good" as nondisabled stuff, or the argument is that "oh the people will use it as a "crutch".......................
How the fuck is being able to express yourself in Sign at a Harvard level vs. being able to express yourself in English at a sixth or seventh grade level a "cruch"? How the fuck is using a walker (to take an example from another disabilty) and going at a snail's pace and walking really badly, better then using a wheelchair to get around?
Maybe, if hearing parents opened their minds and let their kids work with a FULL toolbox, then those kids could do WICKED well.......Yes, there are kids who do very well without "special needs" stuff............but there have ALWAYS been kids like that. Even back in the old days...........Why there was this kid who was raised auditory-verbal who could speak five languages.....doesn't mean every kid will be that sucessful.
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Absolutely, dd! It's all about maximizing potential--and in order to do that you have to recognize not only strengths, but limitations as well, and then work with what is there. The fact that a kid can perceive more cound with a CI, and believing that one thing will make them more successful is just sticking your head in the sand, and setting the child up for a lifetime of frustration.
 
Cloggy said:
LOL... what a way to think....

Has it ever occured to you that Lotte does not consider her CI. She just hears nothing without, she hears with CI... For her there's no confusion.

But sure... knock yourself out..

Question:

Why would she be talking in herself without anyone around ?
Why would she want batteries when her Ci doesn't work and she just wants to play ?
Why would she get upset, start a tantrum, the Ci falls off and she puts it on again ??

Perhaps she does not have a problem hearing and she has no problem being deaf... I would love it if she wouldn't change that feeling about herself...
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Just keep in mind that children understand much more about the messages they are given by adults--both spoken, signed, and communicated therough attitude--than they are able to articulate. If a child is praised for wearing her CI, she will continue to ask for it not because it gives her pleasure, but because it pleases her parents, and she has a desire to please those people. She talks to herself because self talk is a natural phase of child development, and deaf children engage in the practice as much as hearing children do.

Perhaps you consider my thinking to be a bit left of center--but perhaps you should try to take the perspective of the child more often.
 
Cloggy said:
Yes we can...
CI on - she hears, CI off - she's deaf....

Actually, she can do it herself....
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You have a very inflated view of your abilties. CI on or off she's deaf, CI on she's deaf with an assistive listening devise.
 
Cloggy said:
Your comment shows that you have no clue about Ci and about my daughter. And where do you get the idea to think I do not attend to her emotionally and socially.
Another accusation that you bring up without anything to show for it.

What you have said so far is that parents that choose for Ci are:
Neglecting the child,
Neglecting the emotional growth,
Neglecting the social growth,
Parents believe it works because THEY are the parent..
Oh yeh..
We're in denial
We hate sign language
We hate deaf culture

Listen... you did a wonderful job letting your son grow up deaf, and he does very well.
But that doesn't mean that when someone chooses another path they are wrong....
You did not choose CI... so your child cannot hear... get over it...
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Oh, Cloggy! You are so defensive. I never said your decision was wrong, but only that there are issues you are not considering because you are so focused on the sound perception. Sound perception is only a small small part of living with deafness. I'm not criticising your decision--I simp;ly feel sad becasue your attitude is the same as parents have had for years and years about their deaf children, and it is the children who have suffered and continue to suffer. I don't reccommend that youchange your decision--just open your mind and let some new ideas in that perhaps you have never considered because you are not deaf.
 
GalaxyAngel said:
Deafness is a choice nowadays... We made the choice for her to be able to hear..... Is she deaf??? Perhaps.... But she'll grow up hearing.

Are you trying to not let her part of Deaf Culture and all you want your daughter rest of hearing life...?

Your daughter will discovered and learned about Deaf Culture. Will you force her stop participle Deaf Culture?

Your daughter is NOTHearing as miracle! You have to accept your daughter is Deaf... as long she can wear ci anytime listening any sounds.. That's fine by me but as long you have to respect your daughter's life.
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After reading alot of these posts, it's sure hard to figure out which is the right way...I'm just giving my opinion what came off my head. I know for one thing is that a deaf child could succeed in life without anything as looking at there's deaf doctors, lawyers and so on. What I'm saying is that you can't predict what your child will hear or know when they are very little.. It takes time to mold them into the world as I was so thankful of my compassionate family and close friends helping me through it all. We have to be aggressive or assertive in many ways to help each other. I have utmost for people getting CI as it's their choice and we have to accept that.

An example, my old college schoolmate, her parents said to her, you will hear 100% with the hearing aids and be able to do anything. She had a hard time with it cause she can't hear 100% so basically parents don't have a clue what we can or can't do.

I think just like A. Jolie with her adopted kids, she takes them back to their country to show them their own culture.. so they can have the best of two world, that's an awesome example of compassionate parents... ( I hope I didn't offend anyone in this post, cause it's a hard thing)

I understand SHEL about kids not have any exposure of signing among their siblings and parents. I have seen that myself when I was a volunteer ASL instructor where I'll go to the family homes to teach the siblings and parents once a week for 12 weeks (I know this isn't enough) give them a start to communicate with their deaf child... it's a lonely part of the deaf child not being able to communicate with their own family (the deaf child is so happy to see me cause I could sign or do total communication).. I think everyone to get involved to share both world with the deaf child that can benefit their siblings in future.

I can see since I grew up orally (born profounded deaf with 90 and 85% hearing loss now with digital HAs) without learning to sign till i was about in my late 20's (never could accept it) thinking I was hearing (which alot of people don't believe that I'm HOH) for many years, but I decide NO, can't do anymore I love to do both to find the balance which I'm so glad I found a place either world depending on the circumstances. I thanked my family for helping and accepting me along the way. FAMILY IS FOREMOST your key to your life, never stop learning or teaching...BRAVO to the parents that are involved in their child's well being constantly...
 
Fo'Shizzle said:
Did I say it was going to make things easy? No I didn't I said it may be hard but worthed it. Cochlear implants are suppose to help "hear" better which eventually does. It helps people be able to understand more whats out in the real world. And yes it's a tough life out there but its even worst on a deaf person than a hearing person.. I believe, honeslty with all of my heart that Cochlear implant will help improve more. But at the same time I see what your point is, but still I think cochlear implant will help all of us out in the real world, understand more what goes on out there. Well, Im glad your kid is the smartest in his class, good for him. Keep up the great work. But my friend did get a cochlear implant wore it for years, did "great", but then all sudden she doesn't want to wear her CI, she went downhill. Big time.. gave up everything... It's basically a long story but "why" did she do that? I honestly don't know... I personally think she wants her life to be easy on her so she depends on her father. She's a grown adult 24 years old.... Some people don't even want want to "try" to reach their goals. They think it's hard "because" they are deaf or whatsoever, well I think it's a bunch of bull and excuses. I personally still think CI would help but still if your deaf or hearing, I think people should still "try" the best out in the world. It's going to be hard no matter what.. But I respect for those who doesn't want a CI. and for those who are getting it, "good luck"
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I know many deaf people who dont have CIs who are doing well.

If u say the CI will help all of us then why are there about 50 students at my school whose CIs werent successful for them?

I agree with Cheri..it depends on each person and my WHOLE point is for the parents to be aware of the issues that their children could face. If none of us posted our frustrations nor experiences then the parents wouldnt be aware of them and wouldnt know why their child comes home crying frustrated about not understanding something or kids making fun of them.

I dont want a CI cuz I came a long way to accept my deafness and I am doing pretty well in my life without one. If the day comes when I could benefit from it then I may consider it but my heart is telling me it is not my destiny now.

Yes, I can undy that the parents are giving their child every opportunity and I am not saying they are wrong for whatever decisions they make with their deaf child. Just wanted them to be aware of any potential situations or issues.
 
deafdyke said:
*shakes head* Not quite.....I mean Shel did grow up with HAs, but there's still a significent number of severe and profound people (including kids) who are functionally hoh (just like CI people) with traditional HAs. I don't deny that changing from HA to CI is amazing.............but that's more like someone who is audilogically hoh "upgrading" from an ITE to a BTE.
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Thank u...and the students with the CIs at my school who got sent from the public schools for falling way behind is proof of that. I am not a good example but they are.
 
jillio said:
I think you're right shel. So many parents seem to take the attitude that they will be the one in a million parent that is a good enough parent to overcome all of the obstacles. It doesn't have anything to do with being a good parent, it has to do with accepting the reality of what it is to live with deafness, and some parents just don't seem to be ready to accept it. I understood that I could not protect my son from all the hardships he would endure, and that I had no idea of what is was to grow up as a deaf child or to live as a deaf adult. Without that knowledge, I really didn't have a relistic grasp on what his true needs were, but only what I saw his needs to be from a hearing perspective. That's why I went into the deaf community when my son was only a toddler, and asked them to explain to me what a deaf child needs, and to share their experiences with me. I saw that as the only way I could truly understand what he needed, and the only way I could go about giving him what he needed. I received so much valuable information from the Deaf adults that were willing to spend time with me, and share their experiences in order to help my son--a child they didn't even know! I know that because these people were willing to be so honest and to help me, I was able to be a better parent to my son, and I know htat he is ahappier well adjusted adult as a result. Only by talking to Deaf adults was I able to see things that I, as a hearing person would never have considered. It has been a learning experience for me, but I will be forever grateful for the experience because it has enriched my life. Someone asked me not long ago to give an example of something I learned from the experience of raising a deaf child, and I thought back to my son participating in a signing choir at school. My response was, "I have learned that music seen is as beautiful as music heard." That is an experience I would never have understood without exposure to the Deaf community, and it is an experience that has changed my perspective on what is important.
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Wow! That is so great!!! That is why I posted about my issues and frustrations. Doesnt mean my life is horrible but it took me a lot to get to where I am now. I thank god I went to Gallaudet and learned ASL. If I never did, I probably would be still trying to be "hearing" with a CI. I am the kind of person who has very high expectations so knowing myself if I was still in that emotional state, I would have expected the CI to make me fully hearing. That wouldnt have been good. Now, that I have accepted my deafness and my limitations, I just make the best of it now. :)
 
Cloggy said:
LOL... what a way to think....

Has it ever occured to you that Lotte does not consider her CI. She just hears nothing without, she hears with CI... For her there's no confusion.

But sure... knock yourself out..

Question:

Why would she be talking in herself without anyone around ?
Why would she want batteries when her Ci doesn't work and she just wants to play ?
Why would she get upset, start a tantrum, the Ci falls off and she puts it on again ??

Perhaps she does not have a problem hearing and she has no problem being deaf... I would love it if she wouldn't change that feeling about herself...
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My hearing 15 month old is doing that in ASL. He sometimes signs to himself and talks to himself. That is normal cuz your daughter is just mimicing the rest of the family.

Being in a hearing world was no problem for me as a child until I was in my pre-teens. Children start to socialize through conversations rather than play and that was when my deafness became a barrier. Add to my personality of wanting to fit in and wanting to know what was going on, it was really tough.
 
jillio said:
Oh, Cloggy! You are so defensive. I never said your decision was wrong, but only that there are issues you are not considering because you are so focused on the sound perception. Sound perception is only a small small part of living with deafness. I'm not criticising your decision--I simp;ly feel sad becasue your attitude is the same as parents have had for years and years about their deaf children, and it is the children who have suffered and continue to suffer. I don't reccommend that youchange your decision--just open your mind and let some new ideas in that perhaps you have never considered because you are not deaf.
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*nodding agree*.

Sigh i am still sick of clogg that he think he know everything better than us all or other people or deaf people .
Also i sick to keep hear that he think his daughter is the only one most beautiful girl in the world eh . .. yet we does to know that but he is not the only one who have beautiful child or children

EVERY PARENTS OR SINGLE MOTHERS OR EVEN SINGLE FATHERS IN THE WHOLE WORLD DOES HAVE THEIR BEAUTIFUL CHILD OR CHILDERN !!
 
Yes, CutePommie! We all have the most beautiful children in the world--to our own eyes. To me, my son is the most handsome young man in the whole world. But I can't expect the rest of the world to see him the same way I do.
 
CutePommie said:
*nodding agree*.

Sigh i am still sick of clogg that he think he know everything better than us all or other people or deaf people .
Also i sick to keep hear that he think his daughter is the only one most beautiful girl in the world eh . .. yet we does to know that but he is not the only one who have beautiful child or children

EVERY PARENTS OR SINGLE MOTHERS OR EVEN SINGLE FATHERS IN THE WHOLE WORLD DOES HAVE THEIR BEAUTIFUL CHILD OR CHILDERN !!
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So, nothing positive in your post??
 
jillio said:
.......... just open your mind and let some new ideas in that perhaps you have never considered because you are not deaf.
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In the same way that you might "just open your mind and let some new ideas in that perhaps you have never considered because you are deaf."
????

If you're so "openminded" where does THIS come from:
What you have said so far is that parents that choose for Ci are:
Neglecting the child,
Neglecting the emotional growth,
Neglecting the social growth,
Parents believe it works because THEY are the parent..
Oh yeh..
We're in denial
We hate sign language
We hate deaf culture
Click to expand...
 
What you have said so far is that parents that choose for Ci are:
Neglecting the child,
Neglecting the emotional growth,
Neglecting the social growth,
Parents believe it works because THEY are the parent..
Oh yeh..
We're in denial
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Ummm Cloggy, jillo has ALREADY stated that she thinks CI is not that big of a deal.........She DOES however think that oral only and total and complete mainstreaming/assimulation (into the hearing world)which a LOT of hearing parents opt for, b/c to them it seems like their kids are more "hearing then deaf, is wrong.
 
Cloggy said:
So, nothing positive in your post??
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Relax keep your hair on Clogg !!... :roll: Doesn't have to shout at me cos i am deaf think that need to be shouting at eh .

I does have beauiful children but i dont have to be act bighead like you .. it turn me off !!.. BIG TIME !!
 
Alrighty, chill out!

I do not think Cloggy is bragging about his daughter...he's just excited about his daughter, I think every parent would be the same way, all parents think their children are beautiful.

So, take a chill pill and relax...
 
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