deafness as a turn on

I guess maybe it's the language itself I'm in love with, and when I see someone signing, it's like the equal of a famous opera singer. If he's hearing, and I enjoy spending time with him, he makes me laugh, we click, then great. If he happens to do all that, and be deaf, fantastic. Does that sound horrible? I really don't like to make it sound like I'd only date a deaf person because of this or that, and that I wouldn't date a hearing one because of that or this.

If anyone else knows what I'm trying to say, feel free to jump in. I just have this weird feeling I've offended someone, somewhere, and that's the last thing I want to do.
 
cayisgreat said:
I guess maybe it's the language itself I'm in love with, and when I see someone signing, it's like the equal of a famous opera singer. If he's hearing, and I enjoy spending time with him, he makes me laugh, we click, then great. If he happens to do all that, and be deaf, fantastic. Does that sound horrible? I really don't like to make it sound like I'd only date a deaf person because of this or that, and that I wouldn't date a hearing one because of that or this.

If anyone else knows what I'm trying to say, feel free to jump in. I just have this weird feeling I've offended someone, somewhere, and that's the last thing I want to do.
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Its your opinion and how you feel who cares what anyone else thinks. You just sounded so passionate when you were explaining it above I just wanted to know why :) I have never dated a guy that is deaf nor really had any interaction with the deaf culture.

My standards start off basic, is he tall, handsome face, nice smile, and intelligent. After that I want to get to know his heart and if he is a good person. Communication is something that can worked out along the way, so if he is deaf well I will learn sign and hopefully we better have unlimited text until I do, if he is a hearie well thats obvious.
 
Id prefer not to think of myself as having a sexual dysfunction, thank you very much! That being said I am incredibly sexually attracted to deaf women. As far as I'm concerned its no different than having a prefference for blondes or anything else.

Apart from the purely sexual side, I found myself more comfortable in my relationship with my HOH girlfriend than I had ever been before. Once I realized that I told myself I will never be in a relationship with a person who does not sign or is not willing to learn. It is too important to me. But I do feel relationships with hearing people are somehow lacking for me now.
 
cayisgreat said:
I guess maybe it's the language itself I'm in love with, and when I see someone signing, it's like the equal of a famous opera singer. If he's hearing, and I enjoy spending time with him, he makes me laugh, we click, then great. If he happens to do all that, and be deaf, fantastic. Does that sound horrible? I really don't like to make it sound like I'd only date a deaf person because of this or that, and that I wouldn't date a hearing one because of that or this.

If anyone else knows what I'm trying to say, feel free to jump in. I just have this weird feeling I've offended someone, somewhere, and that's the last thing I want to do.
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I'm not offended. Why shouldn't you love being around our language? It *IS* a beautiful, beautiful dance of the hands. Mezmorizing. Captivating. Draw you in. Mostly soothing, unless we are angry, :giggle: and, even then, *still* soothing somehow to be around.

The other part might be how expressive we are. Deaf are *not* emotionless like many hearies. People, in general, are drawn to other people that are full of expression because it probably equates, for hearies, as being full of life. Who *wouldn't* want to be around that? :hug:

I'm dating hearie and he say to me, often, "You have *such* a presence. I don't know how to explain it." Truth is, probably, it isn't presence. It's being Deaf and how I express myself to others. With feeling.
 
marcyp06 said:
Id prefer not to think of myself as having a sexual dysfunction, thank you very much! That being said I am incredibly sexually attracted to deaf women. As far as I'm concerned its no different than having a prefference for blondes or anything else.

Apart from the purely sexual side, I found myself more comfortable in my relationship with my HOH girlfriend than I had ever been before. Once I realized that I told myself I will never be in a relationship with a person who does not sign or is not willing to learn. It is too important to me. But I do feel relationships with hearing people are somehow lacking for me now.
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But being blonde doesn't mean you have challenges to deal with. Hmm, uh, scratch that. :laugh2:

Point is, I believe, to equate preference to hair colour and Deaf just mind boggling. Kind of an insult actually. That being Deaf is something you cannot change. Like a hair colour can. If you prefer blonde and she is currently brunette. She can change her hair colour. Hearing woman can't change to Deaf. Understand?
 
rebeccalj said:
But being blonde doesn't mean you have challenges to deal with. Hmm, uh, scratch that. :laugh2:

Point is, I believe, to equate preference to hair colour and Deaf just mind boggling. Kind of an insult actually. That being Deaf is something you cannot change. Like a hair colour can. If you prefer blonde and she is currently brunette. She can change her hair colour. Hearing woman can't change to Deaf. Understand?
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:dizzy:
Hey I'm a blonde... and ya you would be amazed at our challenges like normal thinking wow talk about painful! no worries I do have artificial intelligence (hair dye) whew
 
Here's my "issue" with the idea of a hearing person being attracted to a Deaf person BECAUSE they are deaf (that's the attraction, not their personality etc).

While Deaf people (culturally) like myself see Deafness as an important aspect of ourselves and our identity - for linguistic, cultural, community reasons (NOT because we "can't hear")... most of society sees deafness as a disability.
Hearing society as a whole sees deafness as a lack of something ... perhaps like missing an arm or leg etc.

When I personally hear that hearing people (especially those who aren't fluent in ASL and immersed in the Deaf Community etc) are "turned on" by deaf people (which is very different than being attracted so someone, who happens to also be Deaf) - it's hard for me not to wonder if they're the same type of people who are attracted to "disabled people" in general (mental, or physical) - and THAT I find offensive.

Again - it's one thing for a hearing person to be attracted to an individual who happens to be Deaf, because it's the individual they're interested in...

It's one thing for a person who's Hoh/Deaf to prefer others who are also Hoh/Deaf - because of linguistic, cultural, and social similarities...

BUT, to me it's a totally different issue for a hearing person with no connection to the Deaf world to be "hot" for someone specifically because that person can't hear. More so if the "hots" are for someone who's deaf not Deaf (meaning there isn't even a linguistic aspect to the issue").


I don't mean to insult anyone ... I just don't understand and frankly is creeps me out a bit.
 
There are some weird fetishists out there. I remember we had one here who said he liked deaf women because they sound like small children speaking.

I believe he was run off fairly quickly.
 
Anij said:
Here's my "issue" with the idea of a hearing person being attracted to a Deaf person BECAUSE they are deaf (that's the attraction, not their personality etc).

While Deaf people (culturally) like myself see Deafness as an important aspect of ourselves and our identity - for linguistic, cultural, community reasons (NOT because we "can't hear")... most of society sees deafness as a disability.
Hearing society as a whole sees deafness as a lack of something ... perhaps like missing an arm or leg etc.

When I personally hear that hearing people (especially those who aren't fluent in ASL and immersed in the Deaf Community etc) are "turned on" by deaf people (which is very different than being attracted so someone, who happens to also be Deaf) - it's hard for me not to wonder if they're the same type of people who are attracted to "disabled people" in general (mental, or physical) - and THAT I find offensive.

Again - it's one thing for a hearing person to be attracted to an individual who happens to be Deaf, because it's the individual they're interested in...

It's one thing for a person who's Hoh/Deaf to prefer others who are also Hoh/Deaf - because of linguistic, cultural, and social similarities...

BUT, to me it's a totally different issue for a hearing person with no connection to the Deaf world to be "hot" for someone specifically because that person can't hear. More so if the "hots" are for someone who's deaf not Deaf (meaning there isn't even a linguistic aspect to the issue").


I don't mean to insult anyone ... I just don't understand and frankly is creeps me out a bit.
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I completely agree!!
 
Anij said:
Here's my "issue" with the idea of a hearing person being attracted to a Deaf person BECAUSE they are deaf (that's the attraction, not their personality etc).

While Deaf people (culturally) like myself see Deafness as an important aspect of ourselves and our identity - for linguistic, cultural, community reasons (NOT because we "can't hear")... most of society sees deafness as a disability.
Hearing society as a whole sees deafness as a lack of something ... perhaps like missing an arm or leg etc.

When I personally hear that hearing people (especially those who aren't fluent in ASL and immersed in the Deaf Community etc) are "turned on" by deaf people (which is very different than being attracted so someone, who happens to also be Deaf) - it's hard for me not to wonder if they're the same type of people who are attracted to "disabled people" in general (mental, or physical) - and THAT I find offensive.

Again - it's one thing for a hearing person to be attracted to an individual who happens to be Deaf, because it's the individual they're interested in...

It's one thing for a person who's Hoh/Deaf to prefer others who are also Hoh/Deaf - because of linguistic, cultural, and social similarities...

BUT, to me it's a totally different issue for a hearing person with no connection to the Deaf world to be "hot" for someone specifically because that person can't hear. More so if the "hots" are for someone who's deaf not Deaf (meaning there isn't even a linguistic aspect to the issue").


I don't mean to insult anyone ... I just don't understand and frankly is creeps me out a bit.
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It *is* kind of creepy. Nobody likes to feel like they are put on a stage. No Deaf person wants to be pursued so that they can be put on display like a circus freak.
 
rebeccalj said:
But being blonde doesn't mean you have challenges to deal with. Hmm, uh, scratch that. :laugh2:

Point is, I believe, to equate preference to hair colour and Deaf just mind boggling. Kind of an insult actually. That being Deaf is something you cannot change. Like a hair colour can. If you prefer blonde and she is currently brunette. She can change her hair colour. Hearing woman can't change to Deaf. Understand?
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Auditory processing disorder belongs with us. Understand?
 
Bottesini said:
I guess I should have explained more. I was not joking. The woman you were angry with has APD and relies on sign.

I recommend you read more before jumping to conclusions.
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Uh, jumping to conclusions about what exactly? Who am I angry with? I'm blonde. I made a self deprecating remark. Maybe *you* should read more?:roll:
 
rebeccalj said:
Uh, jumping to conclusions about what exactly? Who am I angry with? I'm blonde. I made a self deprecating remark. Maybe *you* should read more?:roll:
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That is a mistake on your part. That is not what you did.
 
Bottesini said:
There are some weird fetishists out there. I remember we had one here who said he liked deaf women because they sound like small children speaking
I believe he was run off fairly quickly.
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Erk! I'm glad he was. I don't remember that one.
 
Bottesini said:
There are some weird fetishists out there. I remember we had one here who said he liked deaf women because they sound like small children speaking.

I believe he was run off fairly quickly.
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that is disgusting
 
In my extensive research on the human sexual experience I have read that a fetish is physical arousal from a NON LIVING object. People can have normal sex lives outside of their fetish-related activities, but many do feel compelled to frequently act on their needs where the fetish is concerned

Being into someone just because they are deaf...or black or white or thin or fat or pregnant or tattooed or whatever is just a matter of personal preference, and can be for many different reasons, both physical and psychological. It is only when your preference, or fetish, or whatever, starts to cause problems in your daily life that it becomes a dysfunction. Myself, I believe in chemistry, and not just physical chemistry. Hearing or not hearing wouldn't make any difference to me...the fact that communication could go slower could be both a problem and a benefit.
 
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