Deaf and hearing couple!

I am deaf, married to a hearing man - next year it will be our 20 years anniversary together. We have three hearing daughters.

It is not easy marriage, we go together for a family functions, but go to seperate ways to our friend's. eg my husband is member of his dart group, as I am not interested to watch this game with full of hearing men, and he is not interested to come to the Deaf Club as I am committee with. Respect is the key. He would talk to deaf people in sign languages, if they come to my house for dinner etc.

Me talk to his hearing friends? - well its depend on few of them!!! Mostly I leave him alone chatting his men at my Bar Room. He would tell me afterwards as I am busy with my girls and other things.

His hearing sisters and late step mother went to course to learn sign language.

One of my daughters used to dating to a DEAF man, I was quite shocked and asked why can't she dating hearing boys? She said she brought up thinking the deaf is the same as hearing!! No big deal.

One profoundly deaf friend I know, she married to a hearing husband, he travel away from home for months oversea, he only comes home for up to 1 to 2 months on leave, and then 4 months working oversea, they are still married for 25 years next year, it is very difficult marriage but they surivived and only celebrated Christmas Day together as Family about 4 times in their marriage life!! I think he is lucky to find a RIGHT WIFE!!



the teacher said, (and this is a stat I heard before0 90% of hearing/deaf marriages end in divorce.
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Rubbish!!

I have met lots of Deaf married to a Deaf person, they end up in divorce too. no different really.
 
I am hearing dating a deaf woman. She taught me ASL and now we sign to each other a LOT. What is funny is that since we sign in public so much, other hearing people assume we're both deaf and say some rude things about us...then I can turn around and yell "I HEARD THAT!" Sometimes we both yell at them about it--they run away in shame... When we go out to eat, unless the person taking our orders knows us, I've seen a wide variety of "What?! You can use your VOICES?!" facial expressions. Apparently they expected us to be silent or something.

Anyway, being in love with a deaf person has caused problems with some of my family and most of her family (they hate me for reasons other than my hearing, though--primarily my ability to sign), but I am determined to ignore it. We actually share our friends (and most of them are female, but that's OK because we share our friends, so if I were to try to cheat, yeah, they'd get mad...not that I would!) The hardest part, since I understand her better when she signs than when she uses her voice, was getting her to sign to me. She is forbidden from signing at home (her parents hit her if she signs and WILL NOT sign to her) and this caused communication problems once I started preferring to sign with her--she was afraid to sign to me because she was used to hearing people getting mad at her for doing so. :( But that fear of hers is out of the way, and she prefers signing to me now, and I almost always sign to her. :)

Sorry this was so long, but I thought it was worth mentioning this stuff...
 
gnulinuxman said:
I am hearing dating a deaf woman. She taught me ASL and now we sign to each other a LOT. What is funny is that since we sign in public so much, other hearing people assume we're both deaf and say some rude things about us...then I can turn around and yell "I HEARD THAT!" Sometimes we both yell at them about it--they run away in shame... When we go out to eat, unless the person taking our orders knows us, I've seen a wide variety of "What?! You can use your VOICES?!" facial expressions. Apparently they expected us to be silent or something.

Anyway, being in love with a deaf person has caused problems with some of my family and most of her family (they hate me for reasons other than my hearing, though--primarily my ability to sign), but I am determined to ignore it. We actually share our friends (and most of them are female, but that's OK because we share our friends, so if I were to try to cheat, yeah, they'd get mad...not that I would!) The hardest part, since I understand her better when she signs than when she uses her voice, was getting her to sign to me. She is forbidden from signing at home (her parents hit her if she signs and WILL NOT sign to her) and this caused communication problems once I started preferring to sign with her--she was afraid to sign to me because she was used to hearing people getting mad at her for doing so. :( But that fear of hers is out of the way, and she prefers signing to me now, and I almost always sign to her. :)

Sorry this was so long, but I thought it was worth mentioning this stuff...
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:lol: I like this part about you two yelling at people for saying rude things about you two...Care to share what they said to you in rude ways? :)

That's sad about your girlfriend's parents forbidden sign language...They obviously are ashamed of it...
 
SB_GB_4ever said:
I just wanted to know because i have heard that deaf and hearing couples are kinda rare. Is that true? My girl and I have been together for 8 months. She is Deaf and I am hearing. Just a question for yall.
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I ve seen several deaf and hearing couples lasted for years..there is no differences at all because communication and trust are the most key in their marriages..;)

I prefer to marry hearing man for the rest of my life! ;)
 
gnulinuxman said:
I am hearing dating a deaf woman. She taught me ASL and now we sign to each other a LOT. What is funny is that since we sign in public so much, other hearing people assume we're both deaf and say some rude things about us...then I can turn around and yell "I HEARD THAT!" Sometimes we both yell at them about it--they run away in shame... When we go out to eat, unless the person taking our orders knows us, I've seen a wide variety of "What?! You can use your VOICES?!" facial expressions. Apparently they expected us to be silent or something.

Anyway, being in love with a deaf person has caused problems with some of my family and most of her family (they hate me for reasons other than my hearing, though--primarily my ability to sign), but I am determined to ignore it. We actually share our friends (and most of them are female, but that's OK because we share our friends, so if I were to try to cheat, yeah, they'd get mad...not that I would!) The hardest part, since I understand her better when she signs than when she uses her voice, was getting her to sign to me. She is forbidden from signing at home (her parents hit her if she signs and WILL NOT sign to her) and this caused communication problems once I started preferring to sign with her--she was afraid to sign to me because she was used to hearing people getting mad at her for doing so. :( But that fear of hers is out of the way, and she prefers signing to me now, and I almost always sign to her. :)

Sorry this was so long, but I thought it was worth mentioning this stuff...
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Yes, stranger often thinks my husband is deaf if they see us talking in sign language!!

One good advantage we can talk pro and con about buying things like furniture in front of the saleman, he can't catch us talking!! LOL

I was growing up in oral like your wife, as my parents and family refused to learn it and tell me not to make any friends who using sign languages, but they don't stop me with my husband and children, I can do both.
 
I'm a hearie engaged to a deaf woman. Her mother is also deaf, while her father is hearing, and they've been married more than 25 years now.
Opal said:
One good advantage we can talk pro and con about buying things like furniture in front of the saleman, he can't catch us talking!! LOL
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We love the ability to openly talk about the people around us without fear of them understanding. I'm quite surprized that we've only once randomly met another deaf person out in public.
 
We are a deaf/ hearing couple. Like any other couple we have obstacles to overcome. But to say that hearing and deaf always break up is so wrong. PEOPLE break up all the time . I see hearing couple break up many times. I see hearing couples have many problems with communication. Relationships are not easy for anybody in this world. When u see a hearing/ deaf couple break up it is for many different reasons. Same as any othertype of couple

If 2 people want to communicate they will, and it does not matter hearing or deaf.


Just be kind to eachother..............
 
Lots of Deaf do go out with hearing people. My ma is Deaf. She married to a hearing man. They have been married for 34 years. They do have communication problem but they love each other. :)
 
ghsh1996 said:
hi pomeranian, sorry I dont agree with you about rare. Very rare hearing and deaf people stay together. Many hearing and deaf couples cannot handle to stay together because of commucation. They would fight over they feel left out.

I have a very good friend who is deaf. She married her hearing man for 17 years. She told me that she never see many hearing and deaf people can stay so long time like us. We agree that we are rare.
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Im sorry I got to disagree with you, its not rare...


There is a lot of deaf and hoh can oral talk and they can commucate good in their realtionship and happen to be together for a long time.... I've dated a hearing person for almost 2 years which is the longest realtioship Ive had before I moved down here.. Its a long story but it got NOTHING to do with commucations or fighting who is left out...
If they do that then it wasn't meant to be together or the person is just a asshole and doesn't want to take his time to commucate with his g/f or wife. But There is a lot of hearing mens out there who doesn't care about the hearing issuse, cares about whats inside of the person... It's called love and respect.....

There is somebody out there for everyone..... It can be hearing or deaf....... Who knows cause God got a plan for everyone
 
coloravalanche said:
I ve seen several deaf and hearing couples lasted for years..there is no differences at all because communication and trust are the most key in their marriages..;)

I prefer to marry hearing man for the rest of my life! ;)
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Im deaf myself and I would perfer a hearing man for the rest of my life... But if a deaf person came along before a hearing man then I would give it a try.... But it never hurts to try........I agree with you!!
 
Cassbugs said:
Im sorry I got to disagree with you, its not rare...


There is a lot of deaf and hoh can oral talk and they can commucate good in their realtionship and happen to be together for a long time.... I've dated a hearing person for almost 2 years which is the longest realtioship Ive had before I moved down here.. Its a long story but it got NOTHING to do with commucations or fighting who is left out...
If they do that then it wasn't meant to be together or the person is just a asshole and doesn't want to take his time to commucate with his g/f or wife. But There is a lot of hearing mens out there who doesn't care about the hearing issuse, cares about whats inside of the person... It's called love and respect.....

There is somebody out there for everyone..... It can be hearing or deaf....... Who knows cause God got a plan for everyone
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that is okay that you dont agree with me. No argue!
 
Here in Bristol, I know many people who are in deaf and hearing relationships. All are doing well so far.

The impression I get from my friends, is that to keep their relationship going, they've got to be able to accept that they both come from different communities, and that they will never be able to fit in the other partners community properly.

Communication is important too!
 
i used to date a hearing guy for many years till he cheated on me. then i started dating deaf guys.. its not rare that deaf and hearing couple can stay together for many years.. some it will work out if they both really love each other.. some just give up and parting in their own ways .. it just depend on individuals, i guess. :)
 
I have met a few hearing/deaf couples who stayed together for long time and some who divorced after being married a long time. I noticed that hearing women stayed married longer with deaf men than deaf men with hearing women. Dont know the reason why but sometimes marriages fall apart for different reasons, not always have to do with deaf/hearie issues.
 
sillycat said:
I have met a few hearing/deaf couples who stayed together for long time and some who divorced after being married a long time. I noticed that hearing women stayed married longer with deaf men than deaf men with hearing women. Dont know the reason why but sometimes marriages fall apart for different reasons, not always have to do with deaf/hearie issues.
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you got :Owned: lol....

you said it twice.. i noticed that hearing women stayed married longer with deaf men than deaf men with hearing women part.. look at that again.. :)

:rofl:
 
SB_GB_4ever said:
I just wanted to know because i have heard that deaf and hearing couples are kinda rare. Is that true? My girl and I have been together for 8 months. She is Deaf and I am hearing. Just a question for yall.
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I've seen a lot of deaf / hearing couples, but don't know how often they stay together a long time. I was married to a hearing man for 13 years (we separated 4 years ago and we just got divorced recently). I believed strongly in staying together and trying to make things work, and that's why I stayed so long even though we had problems from the start. He learned the ABC's, but didn't continue to learn much more signs so he did a lot of fingerspelling. :crazy: There were a lot of misunderstandings and he could never understand my point of view on many things. A hearing / deaf couple can definatley make it work - as long as they both respect each other's differences and the hearing person tries his/her best to learn sign language if the Deaf uses it.
 
SB_GB_4ever said:
I just wanted to know because i have heard that deaf and hearing couples are kinda rare. Is that true? My girl and I have been together for 8 months. She is Deaf and I am hearing. Just a question for yall.
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It depends what you refer to as rare... To many hearing people, meeting a deaf person in general is rare... So in that sense YES you could call it rare. But within the deaf community I have seen it before, so I wouldn't consider it rare really. BTW I am in the same situation as you... Me being hearing and my girlfriend being deaf. I'm glad things are working out for you :)

prettypond said:
We are a deaf/ hearing couple. Like any other couple we have obstacles to overcome. But to say that hearing and deaf always break up is so wrong. PEOPLE break up all the time . I see hearing couple break up many times. I see hearing couples have many problems with communication. Relationships are not easy for anybody in this world. When u see a hearing/ deaf couple break up it is for many different reasons. Same as any othertype of couple

If 2 people want to communicate they will, and it does not matter hearing or deaf.


Just be kind to eachother..............
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I agree with you... Even a hearing / hearing couple can have a relationship plauged with a lack of communication... Even though they both speak the same language!

Relationships are all about give and recieve... sometimes the hearing person has to give up a bit more and learn the language of the deaf mate just to make things work better but in the end things will be better for the whole relationship. I am sure the deaf mate also must give up some things to make it work better too but I wouldn't know the specifics on that.
 
When me and my husband got together back in 2002. We was signing at a mall one time and a girl said "ohh look at the deaf and dumb people" Then my husband (my boyfriend at the time) said with a mean voice "Who you calling deaf and dumb bitch?!" She looked at him with a surprised face and her and her friends walked away real fast. :hyper:



gnulinuxman said:
I am hearing dating a deaf woman. She taught me ASL and now we sign to each other a LOT. What is funny is that since we sign in public so much, other hearing people assume we're both deaf and say some rude things about us...then I can turn around and yell "I HEARD THAT!" Sometimes we both yell at them about it--they run away in shame... When we go out to eat, unless the person taking our orders knows us, I've seen a wide variety of "What?! You can use your VOICES?!" facial expressions. Apparently they expected us to be silent or something.

Anyway, being in love with a deaf person has caused problems with some of my family and most of her family (they hate me for reasons other than my hearing, though--primarily my ability to sign), but I am determined to ignore it. We actually share our friends (and most of them are female, but that's OK because we share our friends, so if I were to try to cheat, yeah, they'd get mad...not that I would!) The hardest part, since I understand her better when she signs than when she uses her voice, was getting her to sign to me. She is forbidden from signing at home (her parents hit her if she signs and WILL NOT sign to her) and this caused communication problems once I started preferring to sign with her--she was afraid to sign to me because she was used to hearing people getting mad at her for doing so. :( But that fear of hers is out of the way, and she prefers signing to me now, and I almost always sign to her. :)

Sorry this was so long, but I thought it was worth mentioning this stuff...
Click to expand...
 
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