Deaf and hearing couple!

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SB_GB_4ever

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I just wanted to know because i have heard that deaf and hearing couples are kinda rare. Is that true? My girl and I have been together for 8 months. She is Deaf and I am hearing. Just a question for yall.
 
hi, I am deaf. I married a hearing man for 10 years. We still love each other and we are happy together.
 
Sorry it is not rare. I have seen it everywhere. I once married to hearing man but ended up divorced after 9 months of marriage. That sucks!!
 
Pomeranian said:
Sorry it is not rare. I have seen it everywhere. I once married to hearing man but ended up divorced after 9 months of marriage. That sucks!!
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hi pomeranian, sorry I dont agree with you about rare. Very rare hearing and deaf people stay together. Many hearing and deaf couples cannot handle to stay together because of commucation. They would fight over they feel left out.

I have a very good friend who is deaf. She married her hearing man for 17 years. She told me that she never see many hearing and deaf people can stay so long time like us. We agree that we are rare.
 
ghsh1996 said:
hi pomeranian, sorry I dont agree with you about rare. Very rare hearing and deaf people stay together. Many hearing and deaf couples cannot handle to stay together because of commucation. They would fight over they feel left out.

I have a very good friend who is deaf. She married her hearing man for 17 years. She told me that she never see many hearing and deaf people can stay so long time like us. We agree that we are rare.
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Yea i thought so. I never see hearing and deaf together for a long time.
 
my mother (Deaf) and my father (hearing) together for 30 years (father passed away in 80's)
Me (Deaf) and my partner (hearing) 16 years

It can work.. important key for long lasting relationship .. communication & trust
 
Pomeranian is right, but by what she mean is she notice that alot of deaf and hearing dating which it's not rare but it's very rare to seeing that hearing people and deaf people have long time relationship same like, 10 years or so for marriage and being together too. I dated with a hearing guy for more than a year, he's wonderful man but it's not work out between of him and me because I dont talk and read the lips that very good and he don't learn sign language which he and I live in different states... But I'm glad that some of deaf people and hearing peole are together too long and are very happy.
 
I am very happy to learn sign. I have been learning for 8 months and i plan to learn alot more. I have learned alot because i sign all the time. I am Doing very well alot of deaf people here in washingon say wow you have only been learing for 8 months.
 
SB_GB_4ever said:
I am very happy to learn sign. I have been learning for 8 months and i plan to learn alot more. I have learned alot because i sign all the time. I am Doing very well alot of deaf people here in washingon say wow you have only been learing for 8 months.
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I met my husband at first time. He didnt know many sign language. He knew A,B,C. I had to write him a note during we were dating. He cannot read my spelling finger very well. I was suprised that he has a deaf sister but he didnt learn so many. He explained to me that his sister is much older than him. He was last baby. He was only 7 years old during his sister got married and moved out. I taught my husband sign language daily. He never get complain about it. He was very serious to learn sign language. That how we fall in love each other so much. We vowed that no matter what our hearing and deaf wont bother us. He would sign what our hearing family or friends say because he dont want me leave out. I dont depend on him too much because I always sit and write a note to talk to my family or friends. I am not scared to write everything. My family and friends dont know sign language. I have two or three friends who know sign language. I will never leave my husband out if we are in deaf groups. Most time he dont understand their sign because they sign toooo fast. I have to explain him what they say. I dont complain about that. We feel equal each other.
 
I've noticed, and this is just from my experience and the people I've met, that sometimes a deaf person and a hearing person can date, and maybe they'll break up (like most relationships.) But the ones that last a long time, or end up in a successful long-term marriage (again, FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN) the hearing person is rarely ever a CODA.
I know plenty of codas who have dated the opposite, but it's never worked out. All the longterm "mixed" marriages I've known, the hearing person is not a coda.
Weird, huh?
 
One of my best friends is deaf and her husband is hearing. They been married for 17 years and have two hearing children. They are very happily married. Her hearing husband signs well and sometimes interprets at church. When he first saw my friend, he immediately took ASL classes just to learn how to sign so that he could go and meet her, communicate with her. Wow, to me that's LOVE!
 
hi, i am deaf and married a hearing wife. We have been living together for 19 years. we have two hearing kids. they use fingerspellings. my wife knows sign language. they learnt from me. i have three sisters (two of them are deaf) and one brother.
 
murli108 said:
hi, i am deaf and married a hearing wife. We have been living together for 19 years. we have two hearing kids. they use fingerspellings. my wife knows sign language. they learnt from me. i have three sisters (two of them are deaf) and one brother.
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Hi Murli, Why your kids use fingerspellings? Why cannot they learn sign language? My husband is a hearing. He know sign language well. My husband and I dont allow my son to use fingerspelling only. We taught him sign language before he learn to use voice. My son sign very good. He is a hearing also.
 
my boyfriend is deaf but he and me been communicate each other on e-mail and chat on the Yahoo online than nothing and he really nice guys but he really busy at walmart overnight he told me about that.I told him i cant getting stripper of my breasts because my mom's rules and he says oh! and wait till getting married and show each other see breasts and his.

And i have first ex-boyfriend who also deaf but i never met him he really sweet man.and he chat me on e-mail lots everyday and he wanted me come see me for visit and he cant because he have jobs at walmart in Tenn.

they later i met another second boyfriend who lived in New York but he really busniessman and im really confuse about that man because he is from Africa! and i have no excuse for more reasons and he got break the laws but i did report to police about that my ex-boyfriend and he asked me to stripper of my breasts on the webcam when my mom was at work so my mom found out about that and im really dead embrassment but my mom tell me not using webcam to show of my breasts i follow my mom's rules.and im learn my lessons and i told my current boyfriend about that my second boyfriend really stupid to show my breasts and he tell me to him says NO! but i cant stand of my second boyfriend! and my second boyfriend have another girls after me and him got break-up and he have sex with her and he have child of his own i told my Aunt about that its really sick! so i dont see him anymore! he is hearing.
 
SB_GB_4ever said:
Yea i thought so. I never see hearing and deaf together for a long time.
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THAT NOT TRUE. I AM MARRIED TO A HEARING GUY. WE BEEN MARRIED FOR QUITE A WHILE.
 
I Happen To Be Another One Who Is Deaf And Married To A Hearing Guy For Quite Some Time .things Are Just Fine.
 
I have to agree. I have been dating my girlfriend for over six months now. I have personally seen very few deaf/hearing couples in public. Have seen them in the Deaf Clubs but that is about it. It can be hard, difficult at times. I am learning sign language now. She is very oral and can lip read exceptionally well. I am lucky to have met this womderful, loving, dedicated and craring woman.
 
vrsterp said:
I've noticed, and this is just from my experience and the people I've met, that sometimes a deaf person and a hearing person can date, and maybe they'll break up...
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Hmm, true. In a class comparing deaf and hearing people just offered at my school last semester, the teacher said, (and this is a stat I heard before0 90% of hearing/deaf marriages end in divorce. This just simply has to come from a lack of communication. I personally don't see how there can be true love, (or much of anything beyond lust) without successful communication. I have also heard of problems with deaf people becoming too dependent on the hearing person. It is a delicate balancing act, if the hearing person does sign, to figure out when to terp and when not to, how to be equal in communication and in life. Still, it can be done!

vrsterp said:
But the ones that last a long time, or end up in a successful long-term marriage (again, FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN) the hearing person is rarely ever a CODA.
I know plenty of codas who have dated the opposite, but it's never worked out. All the longterm "mixed" marriages I've known, the hearing person is not a coda.
Weird, huh?
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SO TRUE! I know of one CODA here on alldeaf that married a deaf man, but most that I've seen do NOT marry deaf. I wondered about that before, but thought that was maybe just my experience. For the coda, Is it about living in that situation too long, or again the balance of terp/family? Are they worried the deaf person will get too close to their deaf family? Is it wanting some independence and separation? Is it wanting "normalcy" in their house? Do deaf people just want CODA's as terps? Do they worry about being not "deaf enough" for their CODA spouse, especially if the deaf person grew up mainstreamed and/or oral? ---I know I am being blunt here, just curious what other people think...hmmm....
 
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