ASL student attending Deaf event

faire_jour said:
I agree. I told people with my baby sign that "My daughter (is) deaf. We (are)hearing. We (are) learning sign." They will help you out. You might even want to bring the little one. Deaf people LOVE deaf kids!
Click to expand...
Yeah I would like to but this social is held at a bar/night club. They will not allow my son in there.
 
rockdrummer said:
I don't agree that "double standard" carries negative connotations, or means hypocricy or injustice. To me a double standard is
a set of principles that applies differently and usually more rigorously to one group of people or circumstances than to another
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
You've also criticized the Deaf perspective as "unfair" which shows that you view the issue from a perspective other than the sanitized definition of "double standard" you've provided above.

rockdrummer said:
But I am willing to agree to disagree on that and will use your term of cultural differences.
Click to expand...
It's not "my" term, it is an objectively more accurate way of describing the disconnect between your perspective and that of the Deaf culture.

rockdrummer said:
Since I am not a fluent signer I would have to fall back on English and spoken language in order to communicate. I'm sorry but I don't think its fair for anyone to feel offended if I have to rely on my voice. And I don't think it's fair for deaf folks at deaf events to not accept me and not let me use my voice when I am not fluent in ASL.
Click to expand...
Again you complain that it's unfair. Like I've said already, it's not an issue of fairness but simply differing cultural perspectives. It's all in how you look at the situation, and my impression is you're coming into this with a negative mindset.

rockdrummer said:
To take that a step further I think it is wrong to deprive anyone of using their natural language to communicate when they need to.
Click to expand...
And nobody is advocating that. What we are saying, and what has been said several times already, is that you can use your voice, just make sure you sign at the same time. You'll make a much better impression at social gatherings if you at least try to sign rather than "clam up" and start using your voice exclusively.
 
faire_jour said:
I agree. I told people with my baby sign that "My daughter (is) deaf. We (are)hearing. We (are) learning sign." They will help you out. You might even want to bring the little one. Deaf people LOVE deaf kids!
Click to expand...

I know Deaf people that even love hearing kids.:cool2: The point is respecting the culture you are attempting to boach.
 
rockdrummer said:
Thanks FJ. And despite what Mountian man says I don't believe that the few people that have responded to my posts negativly represent the majority in the deaf community. At least I hope they don't. I do respect their opinions and positions but it doesn't mean I have to agree with them.
Click to expand...
For the record, I am hearing.
 
rockdrummer said:
Yeah I would like to but this social is held at a bar/night club. They will not allow my son in there.
Click to expand...

Still a good place for you to develop life long friendships with Deaf individuals. While exposing my son to Deaf culture was a priority, it would never have worked had I not been willing to make that Culture a part of my life, as well. My son and I share some friendships with some Deaf people, but we both also have friendships with Deaf people that are completely our own. It is an enriching experience.
 
jillio said:
I know Deaf people that even love hearing kids.:cool2: The point is respecting the culture you are attempting to boach.
Click to expand...

I meant that since 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents, Deaf people rarely get the chance to see and interact with and play with little deaf kids.
 
jillio said:
I say attend the event, tell them you are the father of a deaf son, and would like to learn more about what it is to grow up as a deaf child, and what his needs are from a deaf perspective. It worked for me over 20 years ago, and I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for you now.

The OP asked if he needed to sign if he was talking to a hearing friend, so that could be interpreted as refusing to sign. Even if he is talking to a hearing friend, he needs to be using what sign he knows. To do otherwise is exclusion.
Click to expand...
good advice. If the intent is not to refuse to sign and someone takes it that way then they have misinterpreted the person as refusing to sign when in fact that is not the case. It's why I never make assumptions. I know not everyone is like me but if I was ever in doubt I would simply ask. Why are you speaking instead of signing. And if it offended me I would add that it offends me and then let the person explain their position. Again that is just me and I know not everyone is like me.
 
faire_jour said:
I meant that since 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents, Deaf people rarely get the chance to see and interact with and play with little deaf kids.
Click to expand...

more the reason why you shouldn't go to deaf events to have a spoken conversation with each other.Because more likely majority of them ARE hearing. If one person thinks it is ok, then everyone would do it.
 
Frisky Feline said:
Just go easy on your comments toward to whoever's posts you disagree with. They are here to understand better about the deaf culture because they don't raise in the deaf culture but they have someone who are deaf who are close to them.
Click to expand...
I just have little patience for people who receive an explanation and then keep asking, "But why?" over and over again. But you're right, I might have come down a little hard on him.
 
rockdrummer said:
good advice. If the intent is not to refuse to sign and someone takes it that way then they have misinterpreted the person as refusing to sign when in fact that is not the case. It's why I never make assumptions. I know not everyone is like me but if I was ever in doubt I would simply ask. Why are you speaking instead of signing. And if it offended me I would add that it offends me and then let the person explain their position. Again that is just me and I know not everyone is like me.
Click to expand...

Asking is always the best way to go, as long as you are willing to accept the answer you get.:giggle:
 
jillio said:
What?
Click to expand...

You made a snide remark about Deaf people also liking hearing children, so I explained what I meant further. Since the vast majority of deaf children are not a part of the Deaf community, it has been my experience that Deaf adults (especially older adults) are very excited to get the opportunity to play with little deaf kids.
 
Mountain Man said:
I just have little patience for people who receive an explanation and then keep asking, "But why?" over and over again. But you're right, I might have come down a little hard on him.
Click to expand...
Perhaps we have got off on the wrong foot. :cheers: I do think you have the wrong impression of me though. I am truly here to learn.
 
faire_jour said:
You made a snide remark about Deaf people also liking hearing children, so I explained what I meant further. Since the vast majority of deaf children are not a part of the Deaf community, it has been my experience that Deaf adults (especially older adults) are very excited to get the opportunity to play with little deaf kids.
Click to expand...

I may have miss your point. what do you mean by that?
 
Frisky Feline said:
I may have miss your point. what do you mean by that?
Click to expand...

I don't kow how to be more clear. Greater than 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents. A huge percentage (some argue as high as 95%) of them are not involved in the Deaf community as children. Therefore, having young deaf children in the Deaf community is fairly rare.
 
faire_jour said:
or fair to your child.

They say they want us and our children to feel welcome and a part of the Deaf community, but if they attack you for your native language, how can you feel included?

In real life, I have never had a Deaf person be rude to my husband for speaking to me at a Deaf event. I am able to communicate everything I need to in sign now (and he does ok) but he is far from comfortable. Our Deaf community is happy that he is there and they are very welcoming and helpful. They will voice for him, or fingerspell, or read his lips. They are so happy that he is there, and signing, and that our daughter is a part of the Deaf community, that they help us out as much as they can.

Not the same as here.....
Click to expand...

Nobody is being rude to you. Just disagreeing...BTW, I think Mountain Man is a hearing parent of a deaf child just like u and RD are.
 
Back
Top