Am I crazy, or what?

You think so? But why have I gone all my life being called ADD then? I mean...I've seen at least 5 different doctors...I don't know, I don't know. I just know I feel so trapped by my own brain. Is forgetfullness part of BiPolar?

Some who are diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorders experience forgetfulness. But it can also be an effect of schizophrenia, ADD, ADHD, depressive disorders, short term or long term memory problems, side effects from medications,stress, anxiety disorders, dissociative disorders, or simple distraction in daily living.

Please do not place too much emphasis on any one symptom. Any diagnosis is the result of many criteria occurring together over a period of time. Again, the only way to arrive at a correct diagnosis is through comprehensive assessment.
 
I'm going to have to make a correction here. Fear of abandonment is not a delusion. Fear of how others perceive us is not a delusion. And a proper assessment and diagnosis can be done just as easily by a clinical psychologist or an LPC or an LPCC. The only reason a psycholgist would be needed is if the patient is in need of psychotropic meds.

:ty: for correcting me.

The reason why I said it was a delusion is because this is what I was told by the attending pdoc who oversaw my case when I was
IP in 2006. I told him I was afraid of how others would view me
due to my bipolar and this is when he told me I was experiencing delusional thinking.

I apologize for the confusion November.
 
:ty: for correcting me.

The reason why I said it was a delusion is because this is what I was told by the attending pdoc who oversaw my case when I was
IP in 2006. I told him I was afraid of how others would view me
due to my bipolar and this is when he told me I was experiencing delusional thinking.

I apologize for the confusion November.

Chances are, he based that statement on more than just your fear of being perceived negatively.
 
Wow. Thanks for all the information! Have no fear, I'm not expecting to be diagnosised here...I just needed to vent and to express some of my fustration at myself. It can be very difficult to know rationally that I should be able to do thus and such or should be feeling this way, when, in fact, I sometimes seem to have no control over anything, least of all myself. I don't mean that as an excuse. I mess up and it is my fault. I know that. I'm just saying that I wish I didn't feel so trapped and so chaotic, especially when people are depending on me.

There has been a habit of mine to focus on my forgetfulness and anxiety, and usually that's the majority of what doctors hear about from me. These two things become my focus, for whatever reason. I will take my time and write out a list over several days of all the things that are bothering me and I'll see where that leads.

Thank you so much Hear Again for your thought out replies to my questions. I really appriecate that. It's helpful to know your story, and I want to offer you a big hug and encourage you to hang in there. Thank you as well to Jillio, Botts, and AdamsMomma for your input. This stuff has been going on so long and I am so confused and fustrated by myself that I sometimes feel quite sure there is no help. But I will make another attempt on Tuesday with my doctor and let you know how it goes.
 
I would like to add kind thought although I have neither Bipolar or ADD/ADHD....ADD/ADHD while certainly a true thing, also seems to be a "popular" diagnosis in recent years, so it "may" be "easier" for some practitioners <did not say "is", remember> to throw such a label on a person, as opposed to searching further for something. I have an example that may illustrate this, although yes, this involves a dog, but still take what you wish...
anyway, my 11-yr. old Black Lab started having difficulty with rear end co-ordination and stability so I took him to primary vet <we have primary and holistic vets> and they diagnosed him - with minimal tests and in a 10 minute visit - with degenerative myelopathy<sp> which is a common progressive spinal disease in GSD in particular and in larger dogs and his symptoms seemed to "fit" this easily, so that's what we were told. Since he had not had any acute trauma and I am somewhat familiar with the disease, I did not question it too much. Took him to holistic vet who spent about an hour and 1/2 with us, on the floor with him, did a chiro adjustment among other things and said based on many factors she did NOT think he has DM, but general back problems involving nuero. issues which would require much more invasive testing to pinpoint exactly. Due to age and how quickly he is responding to the combination of holistic supplements and the very low dose of the Western drug given at the primary clinic, we have at the moment decided not to do any further much more complicated testing. But it seemed part of what happened at the primary clinic was they matched symptoms as opposed to doing the less "cut-and-dried" approach which was looking at the whole balance of the being. DM is also a fairly "popular" canine diagnosis as well.

well, November, HUGS and best wishes for you! :D:hug:
 
Wow. Thanks for all the information! Have no fear, I'm not expecting to be diagnosised here...I just needed to vent and to express some of my fustration at myself. It can be very difficult to know rationally that I should be able to do thus and such or should be feeling this way, when, in fact, I sometimes seem to have no control over anything, least of all myself. I don't mean that as an excuse. I mess up and it is my fault. I know that. I'm just saying that I wish I didn't feel so trapped and so chaotic, especially when people are depending on me.

There has been a habit of mine to focus on my forgetfulness and anxiety, and usually that's the majority of what doctors hear about from me. These two things become my focus, for whatever reason. I will take my time and write out a list over several days of all the things that are bothering me and I'll see where that leads.

Thank you so much Hear Again for your thought out replies to my questions. I really appriecate that. It's helpful to know your story, and I want to offer you a big hug and encourage you to hang in there. Thank you as well to Jillio, Botts, and AdamsMomma for your input. This stuff has been going on so long and I am so confused and fustrated by myself that I sometimes feel quite sure there is no help. But I will make another attempt on Tuesday with my doctor and let you know how it goes.

I wish you luck. Keeping a diary over the next few days will be a great help to your doctor or therapist. Make a note of not just what symptoms you experience, but the time of day, what happened just before you got the symptoms, how long the episode lasted, and how you coped with it.
 
Thank you so much Hear Again for your thought out replies to my questions. I really appriecate that. It's helpful to know your story, and I want to offer you a big hug and encourage you to hang in there.

You're quite welcome. :hug:

In addition to Jillio's suggestion of keeping a diary, I also recommend that you write out a list of questions for your psychiatrist. They may concern anything from the condition/disorder you think you have to asking for clarification as to what qualifies as a manic episode, etc.

Good luck! If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a PM anytime. :)
 
I would like to add kind thought although I have neither Bipolar or ADD/ADHD....ADD/ADHD while certainly a true thing, also seems to be a "popular" diagnosis in recent years, so it "may" be "easier" for some practitioners <did not say "is", remember> to throw such a label on a person, as opposed to searching further for something. I have an example that may illustrate this, although yes, this involves a dog, but still take what you wish...
anyway, my 11-yr. old Black Lab started having difficulty with rear end co-ordination and stability so I took him to primary vet <we have primary and holistic vets> and they diagnosed him - with minimal tests and in a 10 minute visit - with degenerative myelopathy<sp> which is a common progressive spinal disease in GSD in particular and in larger dogs and his symptoms seemed to "fit" this easily, so that's what we were told. Since he had not had any acute trauma and I am somewhat familiar with the disease, I did not question it too much. Took him to holistic vet who spent about an hour and 1/2 with us, on the floor with him, did a chiro adjustment among other things and said based on many factors she did NOT think he has DM, but general back problems involving nuero. issues which would require much more invasive testing to pinpoint exactly. Due to age and how quickly he is responding to the combination of holistic supplements and the very low dose of the Western drug given at the primary clinic, we have at the moment decided not to do any further much more complicated testing. But it seemed part of what happened at the primary clinic was they matched symptoms as opposed to doing the less "cut-and-dried" approach which was looking at the whole balance of the being. DM is also a fairly "popular" canine diagnosis as well.

well, November, HUGS and best wishes for you! :D:hug:

I agree with you here. It seems everyone jump into this and saying you have bi-polar. I remember dr said to me also and she thought I had bi-polar year ago but I knew I do not have it but something else wrong with me. I do have mood disorder relate to health problems. Something I have to live with rest of my life.
 
Dogmom and Jazzy: thank you for your input. I definately get where you are coming from. Don't worry too much. I'm not sitting here self-diagnoising myself. I'm just trying to get some ideas, as much to allievate the anxiety I sometimes I have over it. There is something that isn't working 'correctly', that I know. I also know that I have never desired to be like everyone else (if such a thing is really possible) so it's not that I want some magic pills and a label so I can get back to normal. I don't know what normal is. I just want to be able to be me in a safe, healthy way that allows me to be the best me I can be. Right now, I am not at that point. Thanks so much for the advice!
 
It seems everyone jump into this and saying you have bi-polar.

No one here was diagnosing November. November was told to see a psychiatrist for a full evaluation.

In my posts I said that it was possible he/she (sorry, I don't know your gender November) could have bipolar. That's altogether different from saying you have bipolar.

Just thought I'd clarify.
 
ahhh, no I didn't think anyone was definitively diagnosing anything....
I appreciate all the discussions-
 
I'm fascinated by this thread as well since I don't know alot about ADHD.

Is there anything in particular you'd like to know about it? That I have more knowledge about. I was poking around on the internet last night and depressed myself even more on the subject by realizing that there are far more disorders related to BiPolar, ADHD, and so on then I realized. It's not that a label will cure me, I know that, I just would like to have some clear cut answers. That doesn't seem too likely to happen. Ah, well. After all, I know that most everyone exhibits some at least mild symptoms from disorders like these. It's just that I feel like if I had the right diagnosis I could start moving in the right direction to actually function safetly.
 
Is there anything in particular you'd like to know about it? That I have more knowledge about. I was poking around on the internet last night and depressed myself even more on the subject by realizing that there are far more disorders related to BiPolar, ADHD, and so on then I realized. It's not that a label will cure me, I know that, I just would like to have some clear cut answers. That doesn't seem too likely to happen. Ah, well. After all, I know that most everyone exhibits some at least mild symptoms from disorders like these. It's just that I feel like if I had the right diagnosis I could start moving in the right direction to actually function safetly.

November,

I understand exactly how you feel. To give you a brief example why, I was misdiagnosed as having major depressive disorder with psychosis in 1991. I was put on Lithium and Prozac, but neither of these meds helped my severe depression or voices. My psychiatrist at the time switched me to Lithium and Paxil after several weeks and this worked out much better for me. I was still severely depressed at times, but not to the same extent as prior to my being on this med.

I also had manic episodes from time to time, but since I did not see them as problematic (nor did I understand what they were), I never discussed this with my psychiatrist. As a result, I was diagnosed with unipolar depression instead of bipolar.

It wasn't until I had my first manic/psychotic episode 3 years ago that I was finally treated for all of the symptoms I've had since age 20: severe depression, mania, psychosis, delusions and paranoia. I can still remember the attending psychiatrist who oversaw my case asking me "How are you feeling?" My response was "Better than I've felt in years" and it was no lie. I felt great. I was no longer hearing voices 24/7 nor was I delusional or paranoid. I also was no longer manic/excitable/irritable and I could think clearly for the first time in years.

I had 2 different diagnoses after that point. 12 months following my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder bipolar type (which I was given while IP in 2006), I started having problems with rapid cycling, so my next psychiatrist (outpatient) diagnosed me with rapid cycling bipolar one.

I think that was a better description of what I had although it did not account for my psychosis that I continued to experience whenever I was manic or depressed.

It wasn't until December that I was finally given an accurate diagnosis for the first time in 18 years. My psychiatrist said I had atypical bipolar one with ultradian rapid cycling and based upon an hour long evaluation of my symptoms and mental health history displayed clear signs of this disorder since age 20. It made perfect sense because it explained all of my behavior from 1991 to the present.

I was also diagnosed with PTSD in January. My therapist thinks I've had this for the past 20 years but did not know it since I never discussed my traumas with anyone nor did I know what PTSD was. He knew immediately that I had PTSD after I started discussing my traumas and my reactions to them.

As far as ADHD is concerned, there are alot of things I do not understand.

If you (and Jillio) could answer the following questions to the best of your ability, I would appreciate it:

1. How does one differentiate between ADHD and bipolar? I know the symptomatology between both disorders is similar in nature, so how does tell the difference between the two? For example, how do you differentiate between someone who is having a manic episode vs. someone who is excitable due to ADHD?

2. What kind of meds are given for ADHD? Ritalin? Adderall? Are they taken on a PRN (as needed) basis or daily?

3. Can people with ADHD benefit from psychotherapy?

4. Can ADHD reach the point where someone's functioning is severely limited? In other words, are there degrees of severity when it comes to ADHD?

5. Are there coping mechanisms one can use to address ADHD symptoms or are they primarily treated by using meds and/or therapy?

6. Who do you see to treat ADHD? A psychiatrist? A GP?

Sorry for all of the questions, but :ty: in advance to you and/or Jillio for responding. :)
 
November,

I understand exactly how you feel. To give you a brief example why, I was misdiagnosed as having major depressive disorder with psychosis in 1991. I was put on Lithium and Prozac, but neither of these meds helped my severe depression or voices. My psychiatrist at the time switched me to Lithium and Paxil after several weeks and this worked out much better for me. I was still severely depressed at times, but not to the same extent as prior to my being on this med.

I also had manic episodes from time to time, but since I did not see them as problematic (nor did I understand what they were), I never discussed this with my psychiatrist. As a result, I was diagnosed with unipolar depression instead of bipolar.

It wasn't until I had my first manic/psychotic episode 3 years ago that I was finally treated for all of the symptoms I've had since age 20: severe depression, mania, psychosis, delusions and paranoia. I can still remember the attending psychiatrist who oversaw my case asking me "How are you feeling?" My response was "Better than I've felt in years" and it was no lie. I felt great. I was no longer hearing voices 24/7 nor was I delusional or paranoid. I also was no longer manic/excitable/irritable and I could think clearly for the first time in years.

I had 2 different diagnoses after that point. 12 months following my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder bipolar type (which I was given while IP in 2006), I started having problems with rapid cycling, so my next psychiatrist (outpatient) diagnosed me with rapid cycling bipolar one.

I think that was a better description of what I had although it did not account for my psychosis that I continued to experience whenever I was manic or depressed.

It wasn't until December that I was finally given an accurate diagnosis for the first time in 18 years. My psychiatrist said I had atypical bipolar one with ultradian rapid cycling and based upon an hour long evaluation of my symptoms and mental health history displayed clear signs of this disorder since age 20. It made perfect sense because it explained all of my behavior from 1991 to the present.

I was also diagnosed with PTSD in January. My therapist thinks I've had this for the past 20 years but did not know it since I never discussed my traumas with anyone nor did I know what PTSD was. He knew immediately that I had PTSD after I started discussing my traumas and my reactions to them.

As far as ADHD is concerned, there are alot of things I do not understand.

If you (and Jillio) could answer the following questions to the best of your ability, I would appreciate it:

1. How does one differentiate between ADHD and bipolar? I know the symptomatology between both disorders is similar in nature, so how does tell the difference between the two? For example, how do you differentiate between someone who is having a manic episode vs. someone who is excitable due to ADHD?

2. What kind of meds are given for ADHD? Ritalin? Adderall? Are they taken on a PRN (as needed) basis or daily?

3. Can people with ADHD benefit from psychotherapy?

4. Can ADHD reach the point where someone's functioning is severely limited? In other words, are there degrees of severity when it comes to ADHD?

5. Are there coping mechanisms one can use to address ADHD symptoms or are they primarily treated by using meds and/or therapy?

6. Who do you see to treat ADHD? A psychiatrist? A GP?

Sorry for all of the questions, but :ty: in advance to you and/or Jillio for responding. :)

Thanks for the confirmation on my feelings about being diagnosised correctly. It's really important to me right now. Though, truthfully, I am terrified going to the doctor.I have a serious issue with that for unknown reasons. I am so happy for you that you have been able to figure out what was going on and how to deal with it. In no way do I wish this on you, but it's so great that you are getting places with it. I'm sure you know what I mean. As for the ADHD questions, undoubtedly, Jillio will be better at answering these questions then I will be, but I'm going to answer what I know and she can add or correct as needed.

1. How does one differentiate between ADHD and bipolar? I know the symptomatology between both disorders is similar in nature, so how does tell the difference between the two? For example, how do you differentiate between someone who is having a manic episode vs. someone who is excitable due to ADHD?

Well, first of all, as someone said earlier I think, ADHD is not defined by having mood swings. You have to have mood swings to have BiPolar, but that isn't part of ADHD, though the affects of the disorder on your life may cause people to get depressed. I am not a doctor, of course, and I'm certainly not well versed at all in BiPolar...so bare that in mind. ADHD causes a lot of difficulty in the person's ability to remember stuff, especially things that the rest of the world seem to find second nature.

The hyperactivity that sometimes accompanies ADHD is a constant thing. It's not this thing were you get it for a couple hours in a defined eposiode. You always tend to be excitable, fidgety, unable to sit still, while the mania in BiPolar is restricted to an episode, if you see what I mean. That is IF you have the hyper part of ADHD. Not everyone does.

Personally, I have a lot of trouble remembering day to day activities, I have trouble processing and retaining all the parts of a direction. For instance...if you say, please open the door, I'll do that...but if you say, please open the door, turn on the porch light, and let the cat in, I may very easily forget to do one of those things. I have a lot of trouble concentrating for more then a few moments at a time...my brain starts to ravel no matter how I try to focus. I may be in mid-sentence in a conversation and start thinking about something else entirely and completely forget what I was talking about (hence the fact that I am very random in my speech and my husband often has to tell me to keep on task). I am extremely disorganized, even though I function much better in a tidy atmosphere and I have trouble keeping deadlines and stay on task and motivated, though not through lack of effort. Interestingly, I can focus to an obessive extent if the subject is something I am extremely interested in, but this interest only too often lasts only a couple of weeks to a couple months, and this focus is only obtained by fidgetting the entire time. It's very depressing that I am like this ,because I know I am. For example, right now I despertely want to open a 'petting farm' for children with special needs....but my history says that in a couple of months, I'll be bored with the idea. I don't want that to happen, but then again, I never do. I have all kinds of books on needed information on the subject and I can spend hours reading and planning...but only as long as I can get up and pace every few pages or rock or shake my leg. If I had to stop doing those things, I wouldn't retain a word. And that's the other thing, information I have read and liked I retain like a sponge....I remember it well and throughly, but dispite many many efforts to remember things like turning off the water and that I should pack diapers with me when I go out I can't seem to do it...and forget about things like appointments! I also get very dreamy and zone while driving, and even walking...I've walked right into doors before, and have had accidence because of this in ability to focus.

I know that wasn't a comparison like you were asking for, but I really don't know enough about BiPolar to be able to do that. Jillio will have to take that up. I think both disorders have a tendancy to be distructive in a way, but ADHD is more from carelessness, while BiPolar seems to be more an anger thing, if you know what I mean...All in all, ADHD is more about the inattention and distractibly while BiPolar is more about extreme moods. Extreme moods might happen for an AdHD person...but it's more because of how they are affected by ADHD rather then because they have it. Does that make sense?

2. What kind of meds are given for ADHD? Ritalin? Adderall? Are they taken on a PRN (as needed) basis or daily?

Ritalin, Strattra, Concerta,Wellbutrin are some that I have tried and that have not worked for me. I don't remember all that I have tried. Ritalin and Concerta are stimulatans, but because I am not really hyper all the time (except for the 'wild' times I have that I have told you about, they really didn't help). Stratta works differently somehow and helps to some degree but not without sending me into anxoria and depression. I have always taken my meds on a daily basis. It has to build up in your system, I think. It's not like colonopin which you take for anxiety on the spot. I do take that.

3. Can people with ADHD benefit from psychotherapy?

If you mean do people with ADHD need to see a therapist? Yes, I think so. I have never found meds to be helpful, but once I make myself go to a therapist, I feel better because I feel like I've gotten a little chaos out of my system. Certain techniques can help allievate some of the need for meds. Everyone I have ever known with ADHD does much better when treated both medically and with therapy. It's hard to explain why, but I know it's so...even if it does turn out that I'm not ADHD at...I still have a lot of inattention issues.

4. Can ADHD reach the point where someone's functioning is severely limited? In other words, are there degrees of severity when it comes to ADHD?

There are definately degrees. Actually, some doctors consider ADHD to be part of the Austim specturm (if you know anything about that,), ADHD being the most mild form of it, below Asperger's Syndrome. I have been diagnosised with moderate to severe ADHD as a child. Mild ADHD may not be as forgetful, as distracted, as implusive as I am, but there are ADHD people that are worse then me...at least...that's the idea. Sometimes I doubt it.

5. Are there coping mechanisms one can use to address ADHD symptoms or are they primarily treated by using meds and/or therapy?

I'm not sure I understand this question, but I'll answer how I read it and you can correct me if needed. I utilzer many copy measures just to survive my day. I set my phone alarm to remember things like taking meds and when to feed Casey (though she will usually let me know herself). I write lots of lists to help me remember things to do (though I lose these with regularity that would make Old Faithful proud). It's really important to have people in your life who support you, who are willing to repeat and remind you with making you feel too bad. Unfortunately, I still haven't been able to manage myself. My husband is also ADHD, but he has done a much better job at getting it under control then I have.

Parting thought: ADHD varies from person to person. For example, my husband is hyperactive, I am not (except, the mood swing things). We both tend to job hop, we move frequently, get bored easily, but both can focus on things we really like as long as criteria is met. Things like Anxiety, Depression, anger problems can stem from the issues caused by ADHD but they are not primary symptoms. I have Social Anxiety Disorder, which may or may not be linked to this ADHD that I have always been told I have. To have Adult AdHD, one has to have had it as a child. It does not attack in mid-life.

I'm sorry that was so long. I hope it helped a little.



6. Who do you see to treat ADHD? A psychiatrist? A GP?
 
Gypsy, I think that "normal" is just something we strive for. (smile) No advice from me today. Just a hug.

I have 5 kids. 2 ADD, 1 rapid (uh - rabid?? ) cylcing bipolar, 1 deppression and 1 overachiever. I just love em and then love em some more. Oh, yeah, and go really gray haired (grin).

You sound like you know what you want and Jill and Bott have given you some great info. Hope it works for you. BTW, hows pretty baby??
 
November,

:ty: for answering my questions. I can see a correlation between bipolar and ADHD in the sense that both of them can be affected by one's environment.

For example, if I'm in a stressful situation, it can cause me to rapid cycle into mania, extreme irritability or severe depression. I can also have a mixed episode where I feel exicitable, manic, severely depressed and tired at the same time.

I also want to clarify that not everyone with bipolar experiences anger as a symptom. Many people mistakingly think that the two primary symptoms of bipolar are mania and anger, but this isn't true. Some people may have manic and depressive episodes while others with a milder form of bipolar called cyclothymia have episodes of mild hypomania and mild depression. There is also a another type of bipolar called bipolar two in which a person experiences hypomania (which is more severe than the mild hypomania someone with cyclothymia has) and severe depression.

In addition, there are a variety of other kinds of bipolar such as bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified), atypical bipolar one, bipolar one or two with psychotic features as well as bipolar one or two.

It's all very confusing, I know.

Try not to worry about the specifics involved with symptomotology. Write in a journal outlining your symptoms, when they occur, their duration and how you react to them. This will help give your psychiatrist a better idea of what is happening in order to help you best. :)
 
November,

I'm glad you emphasized the fact that ADD/ADHD affects people differently. I wasn't aware of that. Like I said, I do not know alot about this disorder. Much of the knowledge I have concerns mental illness.

The same can be said regarding bipolar. Some people with bipolar only experience mania and depression while others like myself also hear voices, have delusions and paranoia.

This is why it's so important for psychiatrists to look at their clients on an individual basis (rather than a "textbook case") since no condition or disorder affects everyone the same. :)
 
1 rapid (uh - rabid?? ) cylcing bipolar

Nan,

I couldn't tell from your post if you were being sarcastic by calling rapid cycling "rabid," but if you were, your comment made me smile. :)

If you weren't, I apologize for the misunderstanding.
 
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