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<hugs dreama back>

<hugs to all><tightest hugs ever>

talking to my love right now

i'm seriously confused i really honest don't know what you're talking about

what is ip

i don't even know what you're talking about i'm totally confused now

what are you talking about

what are you even talking about when did you care for me when you were accuse me of faking or when you said you know i am?

i don't remember writing that

what are you guys trying to do to me are you trying to tear me into little shreds and pieces

this is such bull i'm going to my girlfriend god you guys are worse than my family i could have my organs hanging out and they'd be like oh you're fine this world sucks and i don't belong here but you guys wouldn't even say that you would just say something like oh i wait i dont' think you're...

I have a diagnosis of PTSD with heavy dissociation. Yes there are major differences between mine and yours. And I am not comparing our symptoms. I'm comparing what it feels like to be pegged a malingerer when you're not malingering. My suicidal ideations are real but I won't kill myself. I...

I'm not faking.

I did not fake being suicidal...I'm not malingering... I don't know what else to say.

I was absolutely not faking suicidal ideation. I would never do something like that. Please don't be angry at me because my suicidal thoughts are anything but made up. I would not take advantage of people like that. I know that your psychotic depression led you to being suicidal and I'm so sorry...

When I dissociate sometimes I relive the trauma and other times I don't. I developed pretty strong dissociative techniques as you know is common in children with C-PTSD. I really didn't mean to suggest an alternate personality. I put "alter" in quotation marks because I didn't mean a DID alter...

You guys are right that you shouldn't be worried about me actually killing myself. When I dissociate I talk about suicidal and how I want to die but I have dissociative most of my life and have yet to kill myself. But when I'm being irrational/suicidal, I'm not thinking in the same way I do now...

Dissociation is common in people with Chronic PTSD, especially if their PTSD stems from childhood trauma. You should know that if you're a mental health professional. I dissociate strongly but I don't have multiple personalities or anything. I just go into an irrational/suicidal mode sometimes...

No I didn't.

Really? Wow I didn't know that. I definitely will do that!