"In-between"

[AlleyCat]

Like I said, I will let her answer.

I certainly don't mind that you share your experiences. In fact, I learn more each time I read them and I certainly think they are beneficial. However, I think it is great when the opposing viewpoint is expressed as well. I think that is what parents come here for.....information and pros/cons. These parents will benefit more if we can provide them both sides and let them decide rather than trying to convince them that one way is right and the other way is wrong. IMO.

I totally agree about being able to share viewpoints.

What I (and others here have indicated) dislike is being told, more or less, to stop sharing "crappy experiences" because it indicates "a bitter chip on our shoulders." This is a d/Deaf forum. Heck, this thread is in "Our World, Our Culture". I, and others, should be able to offer our viewpoints without such negative response. We don't need "sweetie" and "dearie" condescenting remarks. This is where fights erupt and threads get locked. I would never go to another forum -- for example, one about weight loss, and berate another poster for sharing her/his problems with weight by saying to stop sharing their "crappy experiences" and get rid of that chip on his/her shoulder. That person should be free to post about his/her experiences. Otherwise, what's the point of that poster being on the forum if all he/she is to do is shut their mouth?

Having said that, I think we've derailed Jade's thread far too long, so this will be my last post in this thread. I'm sorry, Jade, and I'm sorry for not feeling I have an opportunity to share with you further.

 

[NitroHonda]

I totally agree about being able to share viewpoints.

What I (and others here have indicated) dislike is being told, more or less, to stop sharing "crappy experiences" because it indicates "a bitter chip on our shoulders." This is a d/Deaf forum. Heck, this thread is in "Our World, Our Culture". I, and others, should be able to offer our viewpoints without such negative response. We don't need "sweetie" and "dearie" condescenting remarks. This is where fights erupt and threads get locked. I would never go to another forum -- for example, one about weight loss, and berate another poster for sharing her/his problems with weight by saying to stop sharing their "crappy experiences" and get rid of that chip on his/her shoulder. That person should be free to post about his/her experiences. Otherwise, what's the point of that poster being on the forum if all he/she is to do is shut their mouth?

Having said that, I think we've derailed Jade's thread far too long, so this will be my last post in this thread. I'm sorry, Jade, and I'm sorry for not feeling I have an opportunity to share with you further.

It's not going to get locked. We're all doing just fine and representing well. We have a big challenge ahead of us and we need to figure out the best way to argue it. We've got to keep our frustrations under check and show them what WE can do and why we are able to do it. We have a long road ahead of us. The past five years has been amazing and the payoff is coming in a few more years. Those numbers are going to change all over as my son's generation's leads the way. I have no doubt on this. The future is bright.

 

[shel90]

It's not going to get locked. We're all doing just fine and representing well. We have a big challenge ahead of us and we need to figure out the best way to argue it. We've got to keep our frustrations under check and show them what WE can do and why we are able to do it. We have a long road ahead of us. The past five years has been amazing and the payoff is coming in a few more years. Those numbers are going to change all over as my son's generation's leads the way. I have no doubt on this. The future is bright.

When I first joined this forum, that was my goal but it somehow got lost in the way after 5 years of bickering with the same posters. Thank you for reminding me why I still share my experiences growing up as a deaf person without ASL.

 

[NitroHonda]

Most deaf schools are residential schools.

They don't have to be. Making the move to be near is certainly a life altering decision. One that's paying dividends for my son. More and more are doing this. It's all about what price you're willing to pay for your child. For me and my wife? It was a no-brainer. That couple I spoke of upthread regarding the New Jersey student in my son's class? They toured the COUNTRY before deciding on TSD. Not going to a Deaf school was never an option for them at his early age. Mainstreaming is now an option they're exploring. FYI, they're hearing. The best for our children is everybody's goal.

 

[shel90]

They don't have to be. Making the move to be near is certainly a life altering decision. One that's paying dividends for my son. More and more are doing this. It's all about what price you're willing to pay for your child. For me and my wife? It was a no-brainer. That couple I spoke of upthread regarding the New Jersey student in my son's class? They toured the COUNTRY before deciding on TSD. Not going to a Deaf school was never an option for them. FYI, they're hearing.

Wow...that's awesome. My brother went to PDSD...no dorms there and luckily it was only 20 mins from our home.

 

[JadeSkye]

Having said that, I think we've derailed Jade's thread far too long, so this will be my last post in this thread. I'm sorry, Jade, and I'm sorry for not feeling I have an opportunity to share with you further.

I just wanted to say, if you feel you have something to share but you feel that it will not be received well on the forum itself or that some might take it wrong, I am open to receiving PM's- I would like to hear your experiences and what you have learned from them. I do value the input from everyone, and being an adult I am free to take it or leave it without letting it bother me too much if it is not something I feel or believe (I work in a field where a lot of people have very strong opinions on things so I have had years of experience with "take it or leave it" and moving on and not letting things ruffle my feathers too much).

 

[AlleyCat]

It's not going to get locked. We're all doing just fine and representing well. We have a big challenge ahead of us and we need to figure out the best way to argue it. We've got to keep our frustrations under check and show them what WE can do and why we are able to do it. We have a long road ahead of us. The past five years has been amazing and the payoff is coming in a few more years. Those numbers are going to change all over as my son's generation's leads the way. I have no doubt on this. The future is bright.

Thank you. It would be nice if Jade (and others) learns something from our posts !

They don't have to be. Making the move to be near is certainly a life altering decision. One that's paying dividends for my son. More and more are doing this. It's all about what price you're willing to pay for your child. For me and my wife? It was a no-brainer. That couple I spoke of upthread regarding the New Jersey student in my son's class? They toured the COUNTRY before deciding on TSD. Not going to a Deaf school was never an option for them at his early age. Mainstreaming is now an option they're exploring. FYI, they're hearing. The best for our children is everybody's goal.

While I don't know TSD, I have a close friend who all his children attend there. One has since graduated, another is just about to, and the rest are still there. They seem to love TSD from what I have read from them.

 

[NitroHonda]

Thank you. It would be nice if Jade (and others) learns something from our posts !



While I don't know TSD, I have a close friend who all his children attend there. One has since graduated, another is just about to, and the rest are still there. They seem to love TSD from what I have read from them.

We are certainly lucky to be at TSD but we still had to uproot our lives to move here. It doesn't matter... to be frank... If I had to choose between FSDB or a mainstream program for my child's early years... it's still THAT easy of a choice for me. Doesn't mean it's going to be a long-term destination either. It's an action that will have long term EFFECTS and THAT is where the message is getting lost somewhere in this thread. We have hopes of trying to get our son into a charter school in Austin fully taking advantage of the dual-enrollment opportunities... and we have ABSOLUTELY nothing bad to say about TSD.

 

[TXgolfer]

Thank you. It would be nice if Jade (and others) learns something from our posts !



While I don't know TSD, I have a close friend who all his children attend there. One has since graduated, another is just about to, and the rest are still there. They seem to love TSD from what I have read from them.

Texas maybe be the next deaf boom. That school is doing well and the best part for people that move here is that the student gains residency while in school which entitles them to free college tuition in and state funded college. VR will usually pay for the books. It is a huge incentive for deaf people to move here. Austin is a pretty cool town too.

 

[TXgolfer]

It's an action that will have long term EFFECTS and THAT is where the message is getting lost somewhere in this thread.

The problem with this is that it suggests this is the only option that will work. I don't believe that is true. It is perfectly reasonable to believe there are other options in Florida that will work just as well. I understand that would be your choice, but that doesn't mean it is the best choice for all.

 

[NitroHonda]

Texas maybe be the next deaf boom. That school is doing well and the best part for people that move here is that the student gains residency while in school which entitles them to free college tuition in and state funded college. VR will usually pay for the books. It is a huge incentive for deaf people to move here. Austin is a pretty cool town too.

I want to note that there's a difference. Hearing parents are moving here and they're not moving here for that. They don't usually know about that opportunity until later. We are talking early childhood here.

As an aside... the whole Deaf community thing moving here to take advantage of the free tuition actually irritates me. I paid for that. Come here take my money then move away after they get their degrees? At least stay here or something!

Bah.

 

[deafdyke]

Because, I know where this child lived; in my area. There are NO deaf schools where I live. There is only mainstream education; albeit a much smaller population than a larger city school would be. That's how I know. As I said, I've known this child since Kindergarten.

Nobody is advocating for extremism. I certainly am not; nor am I advocating mainstream schooling for all children. However, this site never has a good thing to say about the mainstream environment for the d/hh child, and, I'm advocating that for some children IT HAS worked. Again, not all. Some.

Effective advocacy is considering all options and possablities. Not every child is going to do well in the mainstream, but not every child well thrive in a Deaf school, either. It's that continuum you were talking about! It works BOTH ways.

On the other hand...........it does seem like a lot of the kids who do well in the mainstream are kids who would have done well even in the '40's.
We bash the mainstream b/c there's a HELL of a lot of problems inherient in it.
We are teachers who see the problems an inclusive environment causes.....AND we also know that a lot of the gushing about the mainstream seems to be done by parents of kids who are still relatively young. A lot of issues don't crop up until 4th grade....which is WHY there's a huge burst of transfers to the Deaf Schools/programs around then.

 

[JadeSkye]

And to update on the actual "school issues" since that is kinda why I posted this to begin with:

I have set up to meet with someone at FSDB mid-March to do a tour and to talk about the school itself (what it offers, academics, etc.) to begin making a decision on what we will do for her for early intervention.

I also spoke with our local school district's ESE department. Since she is three they do not take her right into the school system, they referred me to a group called FDLERS/ ChildFind (can't remember what FDLERS stands for)- they are basically a group that does screenings and then sets you up with services. I spoke with the lady from FDLERS today and filled out paperwork for her to start seeing what was available. It sounds like they would be offering speech/language therapy that would come to our home once a week. To be honest, at this point that does not seem like as good of an option to me as sending her to FSDB does. Someone working with her once a week vs. a classroom with other kids and language services (whether that is ASL or speech therapy of some sort) seems like a bit of a no-brainer. I think she would benefit more from an actual class, because not only would she be learning things (like speech and language) but she would also be learning skills like interacting with other kids, rules in a classroom, etc (social skills). I know this probably sounds like my mind is made up already, but I am still keeping it open until I have all the information I feel I need (which should be by the end of March because we will have toured FSDB and had a chance to ask them questions and I would hope we will have heard something more from FDLERS/ChildFind on what they have available).

On a really positive note: we also have an appointment scheduled for March (gosh, that is going to be a busy month!) for her to see her ENT and audiologist again and have her ear molds made!! I don't know how long it takes to actually GET the hearing aids once they make the molds, but I am hoping that this means it won't be long before she has hearing aids!

 

[TXgolfer]

I want to note that there's a difference. Hearing parents are moving here and they're not moving here for that. They don't usually know about that opportunity until later. We are talking early childhood here.

As an aside... the whole Deaf community thing moving here to take advantage of the free tuition actually irritates me. I paid for that. Come here take my money then move away after they get their degrees? At least stay here or something!

Bah.

It is pretty well known. I learned about it from a guy in New Jersey. They discuss it in California (my other home) a lot too.

 

[NitroHonda]

The problem with this is that it suggests this is the only option that will work. I don't believe that is true. It is perfectly reasonable to believe there are other options in Florida that will work just as well. I understand that would be your choice, but that doesn't mean it is the best choice for all.

No it's not but it's the best option painted with broad strokes for a parent who doesn't know what to do. Get language in them ASAP and then teach them. Immersed into the community is where that happens. As some have stated... total communication works. It certainly worked for me but I know it did not work for most of us. Matters none honestly... no matter what they decide, without hard work from the parents... nothing's going to work. I looked back and was horrified to realize it was not that lady's friend of a friend but rather bashing her observations on her elementary school-aged niece's friend. That's setting us back eons.

 

[deafdyke]

We are certainly lucky to be at TSD but we still had to uproot our lives to move here. It doesn't matter... to be frank... If I had to choose between FSDB or a mainstream program for my child's early years... it's still THAT easy of a choice for me. Doesn't mean it's going to be a long-term destination either. It's an action that will have long term EFFECTS and THAT is where the message is getting lost somewhere in this thread. We have hopes of trying to get our son into a charter school in Austin fully taking advantage of the dual-enrollment opportunities... and we have ABSOLUTELY nothing bad to say about TSD.

Right on!!!!!! And it's fairly rare for kids to be k-12 Deaf schoolers any more. Heck, it's been pretty rare for kids to be K-12 Deaf School attendees for decades now. People really did (and still do) think that inclusion was going to be some glorious utopia. Inclusion seems to have worked best for LD, and other high incidence kids as well as "just wheelchair" kids. But unfortunately a lot of kids still need specialized programming.....and I mean a lot of the people who gush over how well their low incidence kid is doing academicly, also seem to miss that they're missing out on stuff like incidental learning and social stuff....which can be just as important as graduating with high honors.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

On the other hand...........it does seem like a lot of the kids who do well in the mainstream are kids who would have done well even in the '40's.
We bash the mainstream b/c there's a HELL of a lot of problems inherient in it.
We are teachers who see the problems an inclusive environment causes.....AND we also know that a lot of the gushing about the mainstream seems to be done by parents of kids who are still relatively young. A lot of issues don't crop up until 4th grade....which is WHY there's a huge burst of transfers to the Deaf Schools/programs around then.

This child has done well, because, she had/has the best of both worlds. This child can function well with just ASL or she can function well using speech if she chooses. That is what I support. The use of both.

 

[deafdyke]

And to update on the actual "school issues" since that is kinda why I posted this to begin with:

I have set up to meet with someone at FSDB mid-March to do a tour and to talk about the school itself (what it offers, academics, etc.) to begin making a decision on what we will do for her for early intervention.

I also spoke with our local school district's ESE department. Since she is three they do not take her right into the school system, they referred me to a group called FDLERS/ ChildFind (can't remember what FDLERS stands for)- they are basically a group that does screenings and then sets you up with services. I spoke with the lady from FDLERS today and filled out paperwork for her to start seeing what was available. It sounds like they would be offering speech/language therapy that would come to our home once a week. To be honest, at this point that does not seem like as good of an option to me as sending her to FSDB does. Someone working with her once a week vs. a classroom with other kids and language services (whether that is ASL or speech therapy of some sort) seems like a bit of a no-brainer. I think she would benefit more from an actual class, because not only would she be learning things (like speech and language) but she would also be learning skills like interacting with other kids, rules in a classroom, etc (social skills). I know this probably sounds like my mind is made up already, but I am still keeping it open until I have all the information I feel I need (which should be by the end of March because we will have toured FSDB and had a chance to ask them questions and I would hope we will have heard something more from FDLERS/ChildFind on what they have available).

On a really positive note: we also have an appointment scheduled for March (gosh, that is going to be a busy month!) for her to see her ENT and audiologist again and have her ear molds made!! I don't know how long it takes to actually GET the hearing aids once they make the molds, but I am hoping that this means it won't be long before she has hearing aids!

You're already seeing the difference between a minimal accomondations mainstream approach and what a Deaf School/ regional program can offer! Can't wait til you tour FSDB....I think you will be blown away at the early childhood offerings.

 

[deafdyke]

This child has done well, because, she had/has the best of both worlds. This child can function well with just ASL or she can function well using speech if she chooses. That is what I support. The use of both.

As do I....but OB, you're also missing that she's still relatively young. Even AB BAD superstars can and do struggle with incidental learning and social issues in middle and high school........

 

[NitroHonda]

This child has done well, because, she had/has the best of both worlds. This child can function well with just ASL or she can function well using speech if she chooses. That is what I support. The use of both.

Nobody has disagreed with you. Not once.