joycem137
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I'm not sure if this is the appropriate forum for this, but I thought you all might be interested in this:
Just putting this up front: I am a hearing person, and I have no intention of trying to pretend to be deaf or anything like that. This situation occurred completely unintentionally, but I think it gave me pause to think about some things. Is some of this what deaf people experience all the time?
So, a few days ago, I lost my voice due to a cold. For the past two days, I've been unable to speak without pain. Since I'm studying ASL, I've been using a little ASL to try and augment my limited ability to communicate and reduce how much I'm using my voice.
I'm giving a talk on social justice in Cleveland, OH this week, so this morning I travelled from San Jose, CA to Cleveland. While at the airport, on the planes, etc, everyone was interpreting my silence and bits of sign as indications that I was deaf.
I wasn't intentionally trying to come off as deaf. In fact, I let people know I wasn't deaf every chance I had. Not that I minded being seen as deaf... I just don't want to be seen as pretending to be deaf, which I understand is very inappropriate/rude to many Deaf people.
I was fascinated by the reactions people had towards me. I interacted with a few clerks and fellow passengers. Some of the reactions were positive. Pretty much everyone I interacted with seemed genuinely interested in overcoming our communication barriers to accomplish whatever goals we had, such as purchasing things or whatever.
But also, there were some negative aspects and indications of various types of ignorance. For example, I think they assumed I was lipreading them, yet despite this assumption, they kept talking when I wasn't looking at them. They certainly weren't making it easy for me to do this supposed lipreading. The only "help" they offered to this lipreading was to do exaggerated lip movements when they spoke, which I understand actually makes it harder. I also found the passenger sitting next to me to be reluctant to try to engage in anything more than the most shallow of conversation with me. I think the most annoying thing I experienced was the look of what I assume to be abject *pity* people gave me when they discovered my inability to speak and assumed I was deaf.
(I note with interest that people were deciding I was deaf on the basis of my inability to speak, not based on any evaluation of my hearing. In fact, there were several times where I reacted to sounds in what I thought was an obvious way, but that didn't dissuade people. Hell... only painfully forcing my voice out seemed to get people to realize I wasn't deaf. That seems absolutely backwards.)
Towards the end of the day I went to go pick up my rental car at Enterprise. I'd had various reactions to being seen as deaf, but the people at Enterprise were the best, as far as I can tell as a hearing person studying ASL and learning about Deaf culture. When the guy at the front counter saw that I couldn't speak, he got up and started writing things down instead of trying to use his voice with me, which I understand is a better way to communicate a lot of the time. I quickly told him that I'm actually not deaf, and he apologized for the misunderstanding. But I told him also that I was very pleased that he thought to use pencil and paper instead of trying to use speech. I don't actually know the difference for most Deaf folks, but I'm pretty sure I've read that pencil and paper is more appropriate and easier than trying to understand someone speaking.
Later, another guy walked me out to the car and inspected it with me. We spoke a little, me whispering, him speaking very clearly to me, etc. I figured he knew I was hearing. But when he noticed me signing "thank you" at him, he finger spelled A-S-L at me with a questioning face. Apparently, even he had assumed I was deaf! We exchanged a sign conversation where I explained the real situation to him, that I was a hearing person that had temporarily lost her voice. He knew even less sign than me, though, so the conversation ended pretty quickly. Still, that was pretty cool, and I thought it great to have experienced two good experiences with this rental company.
On a side note, once I got to my destination, ate some food, and drank a lot of water, the pain in my throat started to subside, and as the night drew on, I was able to use my voice again. Hopefully, this trend will continue into tomorrow, so that by Wednesday I'll be vocal enough to give my talk.
While I don't claim to know what it is like to be Deaf now (Hell no!) that I've had this strange set of experiences today, I do think it has given me a lot to think about. I'm curious what comments Deaf folks might have about my experiences. Does any of this sound familiar, or did I just have one hell of a weird day?
Just putting this up front: I am a hearing person, and I have no intention of trying to pretend to be deaf or anything like that. This situation occurred completely unintentionally, but I think it gave me pause to think about some things. Is some of this what deaf people experience all the time?
So, a few days ago, I lost my voice due to a cold. For the past two days, I've been unable to speak without pain. Since I'm studying ASL, I've been using a little ASL to try and augment my limited ability to communicate and reduce how much I'm using my voice.
I'm giving a talk on social justice in Cleveland, OH this week, so this morning I travelled from San Jose, CA to Cleveland. While at the airport, on the planes, etc, everyone was interpreting my silence and bits of sign as indications that I was deaf.
I wasn't intentionally trying to come off as deaf. In fact, I let people know I wasn't deaf every chance I had. Not that I minded being seen as deaf... I just don't want to be seen as pretending to be deaf, which I understand is very inappropriate/rude to many Deaf people.
I was fascinated by the reactions people had towards me. I interacted with a few clerks and fellow passengers. Some of the reactions were positive. Pretty much everyone I interacted with seemed genuinely interested in overcoming our communication barriers to accomplish whatever goals we had, such as purchasing things or whatever.
But also, there were some negative aspects and indications of various types of ignorance. For example, I think they assumed I was lipreading them, yet despite this assumption, they kept talking when I wasn't looking at them. They certainly weren't making it easy for me to do this supposed lipreading. The only "help" they offered to this lipreading was to do exaggerated lip movements when they spoke, which I understand actually makes it harder. I also found the passenger sitting next to me to be reluctant to try to engage in anything more than the most shallow of conversation with me. I think the most annoying thing I experienced was the look of what I assume to be abject *pity* people gave me when they discovered my inability to speak and assumed I was deaf.
(I note with interest that people were deciding I was deaf on the basis of my inability to speak, not based on any evaluation of my hearing. In fact, there were several times where I reacted to sounds in what I thought was an obvious way, but that didn't dissuade people. Hell... only painfully forcing my voice out seemed to get people to realize I wasn't deaf. That seems absolutely backwards.)
Towards the end of the day I went to go pick up my rental car at Enterprise. I'd had various reactions to being seen as deaf, but the people at Enterprise were the best, as far as I can tell as a hearing person studying ASL and learning about Deaf culture. When the guy at the front counter saw that I couldn't speak, he got up and started writing things down instead of trying to use his voice with me, which I understand is a better way to communicate a lot of the time. I quickly told him that I'm actually not deaf, and he apologized for the misunderstanding. But I told him also that I was very pleased that he thought to use pencil and paper instead of trying to use speech. I don't actually know the difference for most Deaf folks, but I'm pretty sure I've read that pencil and paper is more appropriate and easier than trying to understand someone speaking.
Later, another guy walked me out to the car and inspected it with me. We spoke a little, me whispering, him speaking very clearly to me, etc. I figured he knew I was hearing. But when he noticed me signing "thank you" at him, he finger spelled A-S-L at me with a questioning face. Apparently, even he had assumed I was deaf! We exchanged a sign conversation where I explained the real situation to him, that I was a hearing person that had temporarily lost her voice. He knew even less sign than me, though, so the conversation ended pretty quickly. Still, that was pretty cool, and I thought it great to have experienced two good experiences with this rental company.
On a side note, once I got to my destination, ate some food, and drank a lot of water, the pain in my throat started to subside, and as the night drew on, I was able to use my voice again. Hopefully, this trend will continue into tomorrow, so that by Wednesday I'll be vocal enough to give my talk.
While I don't claim to know what it is like to be Deaf now (Hell no!) that I've had this strange set of experiences today, I do think it has given me a lot to think about. I'm curious what comments Deaf folks might have about my experiences. Does any of this sound familiar, or did I just have one hell of a weird day?