Why do some people hold a grudge over something so small?

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christlovedeaf said:
:hmm: *looking at the mirror*, *scratch my head*, I see myself, seem, for everyone else, I'm invisible. LOL
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Naw, You are not invisible, I did like your comment too. ;)
 
hahha, cheri and angel. well angel, my brand of gel, is ice, so apparently can be very sharp like porcupine... oh my, look what I said, :topic: :topic: :topic: :topic: :topic: :topic: :topic: :topic: :topic:
 
Kalista said:
DreamDeaf ====>
spank2.gif
<===== Alex
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I love your avator...I know it's off topic...I couldn't resist her avator. :D
 
Cheri!!!! Its good to see you are back! Praise God! Wooo! Just be yourself, thats all! Those who look at his or her past have forgotten that they only can see forward. Their eyes are set in front of the head!!! LOL! Wooo! :D
 
i know how you have been through when people grudge over one thing they just are obsessive of things just move on ignore them they are not worth of worry over but these people wouldn't move on because of one thing or more things

i have been through LOT with these people
 
Forgiving makes you the bigger person, Cheri. You can go to sleep at night with a clear conscience. BTW, happy to see you back and posting!:wave:
 
Oh...I forgot! Welcome back Cheri. Glad to see u back. :)
 
I'm glad to see you back ! Welcome back, Cheri !

Enjoy your stay once more. :D
 
Blogs, Cheri and DreamDeaf? Where are they? Or are they private journals? If the latter, forget I asked.
 
Hi...some of you may have noticed I haven't been on AD or AIM for quite some time cause some of us are going thru difficult times these days. So I'm only posting here because I strongly agree with Cheri about this revenge thing.

You see, if you planned for revenge so long, of course you would lose even more important things, even your own life. I understand some people may believe in revenge and revenge never happens without a reason but revenge wont do any good anyway...revenge is just a taste of satistfaction (sp?). nothing else.

Remember there is the old saying...

"If you love something so much, you set it free."

We all makes mistakes, and I believe ALL of us have some good inside us while alot just dont know what it is like to be good.

I would forgive, of course, but would never forget as well.

Because of so much pain, I would never forget. EVER.
 
Tousi said:
Blogs, Cheri and DreamDeaf? Where are they? Or are they private journals? If the latter, forget I asked.
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My blog is private to everyone, including search engines (like Google) only my close friends know about my blog. ;)
 
Welcome back cheri!! Glad to see you back!:hug:


Cheri said:
Is it because you think someone’s behavior is unforgivable even something so small? Are you waiting for an offending person or party to apologize, We all are humans, we make mistakes who hasn’t. Seeking revenge doesn’t really do anything, because you’ll still be holding a grudge and it’ll be staying with you, it’ll be like a repeated recording being playing over and over in your mind, it’ll end up driving you up the wall. I’ve had people that hurt me as badly as those who would offended me something so small, I forgive those who’ve done their small deeds, but It’s much harder to forgive those who done bigger deeds, but we all have to forgive some days right?

I do forgive people for what they’ve done to me, but I’ll never forget. But, something so small so tiny, isn’t worth to hold a grudge over. Life is too short, You live what you live for today, tomorrow is another day, and You’ll never know when your time comes, so how about forgive those who done harm to you, and live your life in peace. It’ll be nicer if everyone was nice to you, and You’ll be nice to them, but Life isn’t that way, Life is never always going to be fair. It’s up to us, we either forgive or we don’t. We all have our bad days, and we all have our good days. We cannot control all the difficult people we meet in life, or on the internet, or anywhere, but we can control how we act and how we behave. We could always talk our feelings out, cry, curse, get it all out, on a blog or on a journey or on a pieces of paper. You’ll feel better much better than ever before. ;)

That’s what I do on my own blog, I expressed my feelings, my heart, my anger, my fears and everything!!
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Ok, when one holding a grudge against another, its show the person is holding in the past and not letting go, just like being obessive & protective of something. Thats not healthy and it is a negative feeling. Yes you are correct that seeking revenge doesn’t really do anything and it will look bad on the person. Also it can hurt another person's feeling. I can forgive a person for a small matter but not a huge matter that hurt my feeling very bad. I just ignore the person and move on with my life for a better thing. If this person not willing to change, then that's his/her problem and he/she will continue to have negative feeling.
 
This thread got me thinking and I remember when I was in my 20s, I used to be like that.

Since Cheri asked why do people hold grudges over small things...speaking for myself when I used to be like that, I was a very angry person who hated myself so I guess I took every little thing so personally and used to think the world was against me. Then, I didnt know how to let go of the small things and it just got worse and worse until it affected many of my friendships.

Since starting a new life in the deaf community, I have learned to love and accept myself and dealt with my anger. Now, I dont hold grudges against people for small things. :)

Hope that helps!
 
Heyyyy Cheri..welcome back!! I'm glad as heck to see ya back in here... I do hope ya are okay and your vent is good.. yeah gotta forgive and move but some things will still stay with ya no matter if ya can ingore it or not... but I am happy to see ya back..hugs and looking forward to more funny stuff from ya!!
 
As for holding a grudge, OCD in someone comes to mind. I wonder if holding a grudge was another way to describe SOME people who have obsessive thoughts.
 
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