Does suffering make you a bitter person or a better person?

survivor

New Member
When you are in pain or when you suffer physically, emotionally, psychologically or when problems come does this make you a bitter person or a better person?
 

vfr

New Member
it depends on the person!
one man will break his leg and stay in house as much as posable for the rest of life becouse he is scared..another man will get gang raped and beaten to near death, get in a car crash..and still meet every chalange with a smile on his face.
 

guido

New Member
vfr is right. Suffering brings different results for different people. In my personal situation, I typically go through stages. First, I'll be bitter, questioning my situation, being mad at the world, then coping, and followed by acceptance and the realization of how I can learn from that experience.

Good thread topic.
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
The therapy is the one who can expose you better person. Depend on person who can help themselves. It´s rarely that person who can improve themselves without therapy´s help.
 

armymech81

New Member
Like was said before, if someone that is bitter, most of the time, has given-up on themself. While the person that is a better person keeps on going and won't give up no matter what. It all depends if the person sees the glass is half full or fall empty
 

jazzy

New Member
How do u deal with those people? For instance Dr Jane Fernando, she is in pain right now to deal with her enemies, does it makes her a bitter person or better person? It is us who see them and decide that person is a bitter or better person.

With my husband's chronic pain, possible to live with it for rest of his life, it does not make him bitter or better person but goes thru depress dealing with it. He is same as always. As for me to deal with his chronic pain, very hard but does it makes me bitter or better person, I don't think so but it makes me grow and stronger little bit everyday. I have problem to accept it, it takes time to learn and accept it.
 

Oceanbreeze

New Member
The therapy is the one who can expose you better person. Depend on person who can help themselves. It´s rarely that person who can improve themselves without therapy´s help.

I disagree. You can improve your situation without needing to resort to professional help to do it. It requires insight into the situation, and a willingness to look at oneself, but it can be done.

I've done it.
 

Oceanbreeze

New Member
vfr is right. Suffering brings different results for different people. In my personal situation, I typically go through stages. First, I'll be bitter, questioning my situation, being mad at the world, then coping, and followed by acceptance and the realization of how I can learn from that experience.

Good thread topic.

I agree. I am the same way. I go through stages ranging from being angry to finally accepting that a situation is what it is, and there's not much I can do about it.

I also think being thankful that a situation wasn't any worse helps, too.
 

armymech81

New Member
It is how we see it, but it is how the person shows it too. We can take it anyway we can, but if the person is grumpy and don't want help then we say they are bitter. If the same person accepts our help and give us advise ontop of his pain, then that person is better and we will say that person is too.
 

Awauphi

Active Member
i have suffered thru hardships like losing babies and having to deal with it every day.. I used to be so bitter about it .. but i know i have to face life and go on living.. I got TJ to focus on and things around me.. Now I see myself as a better person cuz I have changed alots since then. I go to church and see things more clearly where my life is going and more happy now than before. I am in control now. Of course I still have problems but hopefully with my faith I will overcome it. :)
 

armymech81

New Member
i have suffered thru hardships like losing babies and having to deal with it every day.. I used to be so bitter about it .. but i know i have to face life and go on living.. I got TJ to focus on and things around me.. Now I see myself as a better person cuz I have changed alots since then. I go to church and see things more clearly where my life is going and more happy now than before. I am in control now. Of course I still have problems but hopefully with my faith I will overcome it. :)

That is great to hear. You knew you needed to move on and that shows that you are a better person, but the events that happen still sit there, and you don't let that control you. That what happens to most people that turn bitter, they allow the event to control them
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
People who already have a sour, negative attitude will usually become even more bitter. They focus on their own problems, and blame others.

People who already have a humble, positive attitude will usually become even better. They focus on other people's needs, and take responsibility for their own outcomes.
 

Lillys dad

New Member
My 0.02 worth. this is a major philosophy in my life. It is a direct answer to the question posed. This is the way that I plan on explaining Lillys deafness to her when she gets old enough to wonder and ask "why".

Everyone has had tragedy in their lives. Everyone has had bad things happen to them. How you respond to these bad things will define you as a person.

(No, I do not think that her hearing loss is bad. You know as well as I do that she will struggle before coming togrips with the fact that she is different and accepting herself for who and what she is, sorry, back on topic)

When facing suffering and tragedy, you have two options in life. You can let it get under your skin and fester until you are comsumed by it. You can let it define you as a negative person who useses their tragedy as a crutch, by using it as the reaon they fail at anything or everything. The tragedy becomes the excuse in their lives for everything.

OR

When dealing with tragedy, you absorb it. Greve over it or what ever else you chose to do. When finished coming to grips with the experience, you turn your experience inward as strength. You use it as a personal example of survival. Use it as a source of strenght. If you made it through that hard time, you can make it through just about anything. This is using tragedy as strength.
So, you can do either with whatever circumstance makes you wonder about this question. You can use it as a crutch, or you can use it as a learninjg experience to make you stronger.
 
G

Gemtun

Guest
There is a saying out there " What does not kill you makes you stronger. " I truly believe in that.

I have been in tremendous physical pain that it nearly drove me to wanting to end my life many times but I hung in there.

It has not made me bitter but rather enjoy life more. But naturally it makes me sad and ask "why" a million times. To this day I will never have an answer to my "whys". I just need to stop asking myself why as there is not always a logical answer for why we are in pain whether it is emotional or physical.

Pain teaches me wisdom and compassion whether I like it or not and it is my choice whether I want to apply it to my life or not. I always ask myself What did I learn from it and what is the message? Each pain has a message behind it.
 

The*Empress

New Member
I get bitter... and more angry and feel that nobody cares about me
then I will say that I don't care about them... I'll be grouchy
and therapists can't do anything about it.

But everytime people help me or offer me something, maybe like a job...
I'll be a better person.


How can I be a better person when people keep making me suffer?

I remember this guy Eric, he gave me a hug, it really makes me smile and a better person on
that day until my roommates at Gally kept reporting me for no reason.
 

The*Empress

New Member
I take that back..

I have always been a sweet good person... and how can I be better than that?

You guys never met me in person... Guido never met me in person...
He only go by what I say or said on here... and then judge me wrong.

I have the right of free speech... and if I don't approve of something
I have the right to say it...

And the person who threatening me or trying to make me suffer...
And even that person who PM me saying, "I am gonna hurt you@msn.com"

Is a sick sick sick person, and that person need to change...
not me.

Because I won't go out of my way to hurt someone or revenge on someone...

Yes I do get angry and do dumb dangerous thing and ruining my whole life...
But I had a reason to, because I felt that the world was too cruel to me
And I made a big mistake and I am not perfect...

The only person I want to hurt is MYSELF.... I still want to kill myself...
but I don't wanna go to HELL.:giggle:
 

Angel

♥"Concrete Angel"♥
Premium Member
Really, it's depends on each individual...I used to be so sad, helpless, angry and bitter, which I tried to end my life several times in the past and there are times I may wonder why God didn't step in and prevent such heartaches from physical and emotionally abuse that I had gone thru then I realized how Jesus had suffered and died, so I knew that suffering touches everyone in some way whether it may be from an abuse, starving, broken heart, sickness, death etc but we can overcome and also learn how to deal with such pain that does affect our lives...by experiencing a time like this, we can become more compassionate and loving to others in similar situations yet many people still suffer for vary of reasons, and some may be a lot worse than what I've gone through, but we have the power to change a situation by taking control of our lives since every person in the world has a heart, and every heart has a place within that wants only to love and be loved...
 

The*Empress

New Member
Really, it's depends on each individual...I used to be so sad, helpless, angry and bitter, which I tried to end my life several times in the past and there are times I may wonder why God didn't step in and prevent such heartaches from physical and emotionally abuse that I had gone thru then I realized how Jesus had suffered and died, so I knew that suffering touches everyone in some way whether it may be from an abuse, starving, broken heart, sickness, death etc but we can overcome and also learn how to deal with such pain that does affect our lives...by experiencing a time like this, we can become more compassionate and loving to others in similar situations yet many people still suffer for vary of reasons, and some may be a lot worse than what I've gone through, but we have the power to change a situation by taking control of our lives since every person in the world has a heart, and every heart has a place within that wants only to love and be loved...


I think God did step in... after he heard you cry....
He helped you be strong and gave you strength, by getting a divorce
and gave you Roadrunner.

Right?
 

Maria

Active Member
Premium Member
People who already have a sour, negative attitude will usually become even more bitter. They focus on their own problems, and blame others.

People who already have a humble, positive attitude will usually become even better. They focus on other people's needs, and take responsibility for their own outcomes.

Very true. I agree everythin' you stated above.
 

The*Empress

New Member
I have help people

I gave waitresses $5 tips.

And make sure my nephew go on Boy Scout and buy him toys he wanted.

I took my dog Britney to vet to make sure she is healthy, she is worm free.

And I gave money to homeless people.

And on my Driver's License, I am donating my organs.

And of course I have negative attitude, because people act that way
toward me all the time... but I am a good hearted person.

Not all negative attitude people are EVIL.
 
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