Would you date a hearie

ember said:
would anyone care to share with me any of the challenges that come along with dating a hearie?
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#1 challenge is, of course, a communication issue. Hearie mate means hearie friends/group/party.

one-on-one or a couple friends.... no problem but when it comes to a bigger group (or party)... I felt left out despite of couple of them cluing me in but it's still not the same as my experience with bigger deaf group where I'm fully aware of everything.

As long as hearie gf is comfortable with hanging out with deaf crowd and can sign good enough... fine with me cuz I'll be comfortable with hanging out with hearie crowd too even though I won't enjoy it as much as with deaf crowd :lol:
 
ember said:
So Alley Cat are you saying that when the two of you go out in a group setting its challenging for you to keep up with the conversation and whats going on around you and in those moments you feel "out of the loop" ?
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Yes. The majority of the time that we are out in a group setting is in a noisy place, e.g. a bar, dancing, etc. So being able to hear my friends speak (even with my HAs) is basically out the window and I have to rely on speechreading at this point. I consider myself to have excellent speechreading skills, but that only goes so far. Somebody can be talking about bowling scores and then it gets changed to bowling shoes and then changed to Nike shoes to Michael Jordan's basketball shoes all in the course of a minute, so if I miss even 30 seconds of a conversation to figure out what I lip-read or because I looked away at something that caught my attention, I'm totally behind. So even when my friends try to keep me in the loop, even just a minute can change everything.
 
Hearing or not, it depends greatly on how well we can communicate, how well we can help each other in our time of need, the strength of our friendship that progress into a relationship and all that. The same is true with other disabilities i.e. blindness, handicapped, etc...
 
AlleyCat said:
Yes. The majority of the time that we are out in a group setting is in a noisy place, e.g. a bar, dancing, etc. So being able to hear my friends speak (even with my HAs) is basically out the window and I have to rely on speechreading at this point. I consider myself to have excellent speechreading skills, but that only goes so far. Somebody can be talking about bowling scores and then it gets changed to bowling shoes and then changed to Nike shoes to Michael Jordan's basketball shoes all in the course of a minute, so if I miss even 30 seconds of a conversation to figure out what I lip-read or because I looked away at something that caught my attention, I'm totally behind. So even when my friends try to keep me in the loop, even just a minute can change everything.
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and also - it is hard for me to talk to them. almost like one-way traffic. I can somewhat understand them via lipreading but they can't understand me well in noisy environment.
 
I am not certain but I think matajan asked me if I would date someone deaf his language is not as clear as the rest of you but here is my answer:

I dont know lets think it out. Not because I wouldn't be attracted to someone because there are a few guys here I find attractive more or less because of the communication barrier. As SeaJenSurf so graciously put it talking to me would be like talking to a kindergartener I know some ASL but it is very elementary. With that being said though I think I would be more open to it if the relationship started out as a long distance relationship, why?, because in my opinion it gives it a chance. There is wonderful technology that would allow us to get to know each other first and as Craigm26 says "texting and email" (thats not just you by the way that is ALL men collectively) we could text, email, IM, communication would be easier that way in the beginning and if he has a computer there is skype to enhance my ASL skills or I have an iphone 4 and if he does there is facetime. And when either one of us is in town since we are so far apart there is less likely a chance of the fatal "group gatherings" that you all have mentioned which seems to be a big challenge. So to answer the question yes if I like a guy I don't discriminate but communication is key and if he is patient and kind and willing then so am I.

(but not matajan there is to much of a bad rep behing that name :p)
 
I'm like a guy you know ... and straight.
but, I can sew and knit better than any girl that I know.
 
ember said:
Out of my own curiosity would any of you date a hearie, I see many post about the shortage of a good deaf mate? Also what are the challenges that come along with dating a hearie? Just curious
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My husband would never allow it! :lol:
 
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