Why my wife and I want our children to hear and speak a little.

[rockdrummer]

I tried to fool myself that my son was having progress with his hearing aids the last couple of years. I could tell he couldn't hear nor speak as well as his younger sister. When the school explained to us clearly that he would always struggle with even the best HA's and that if we wanted him to continue developing his speech and hearing abilities, that CI was the last option after HA's.

It took me 2 hours of soul searching and a long conversation with a close hearing friend to feel this calmness pushing out my fears. I took the rest of the day off from work to be with my wife. We had a talk about a 5 year old boy with deaf parents we knew who was implanted a year ago... I remember being impressed how well he pronounced words and how well he conversed with us in sign language last month. That encounter kind of took away all the negative thoughts I had about CI all on its own.

It took humility, wisdom and love to change my feelings.

God bless you man!! I wish all the best to you and your family.

 

[sr171soars]

{Sotto voice} That is what a real father does...for his kids.

I echo the sentiments of Rockdrummer too...God Bless!

 

[sr171soars]

This is my dream -- deafies from all walks of life getting along with each other AND with the hearing people! Props to everyone in this thread

In my book, it will happen in another place and time...

I think I can relate to you but not completely... as you can tell, I love chatting and I enjoy the English language a lot because I feel I can express myself through it just as well as ASL. I often become frustrated because I can't verbally communicate with the hearing to express myself. I keep wanting both worlds to to blend in together but they won't.

That is exactly how I feel from the hearing perspective. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to not be proficient in ASL. This medium I believe bridges the gap somewhat.

Hey guys, we are more alike than you think...one hearing, one deaf, and one in between (well technically my CI makes me deaf now [when off] but neither here nor there ). Ah...we band of brothers...

 

[greema]

now you are all my sons! (my three sons?) LOL trying for a bit of humor -- got tears in my eyes fragmenter -- ya know this old bird is no cry baby
hugssss to all

 

[neecy]

now you are all my sons! (my three sons?) LOL trying for a bit of humor -- got tears in my eyes fragmenter -- ya know this old bird is no cry baby
hugssss to all

I know what you mean! Reading this thread is giving me warm fuzzies!!! *hugs to all*

 

[rockdrummer]

Hey guys, we are more alike than you think...one hearing, one deaf, and one in between (well technically my CI makes me deaf now [when off] but neither here nor there ). Ah...we band of brothers...

Oh boy... Can this be a good thing? Lord help us!!! Serioulsy, I would love to meet you guys and have a beer or what ever your favorite beverage is.

 

[rockdrummer]

now you are all my sons! (my three sons?) LOL trying for a bit of humor -- got tears in my eyes fragmenter -- ya know this old bird is no cry baby
hugssss to all

Awww greema... *hugz ya back*

 

[sr171soars]

now you are all my sons! (my three sons?) LOL trying for a bit of humor -- got tears in my eyes fragmenter -- ya know this old bird is no cry baby
hugssss to all

Awww, don't cry...um where is the hankie?

Hugs back!

BTW - Don't worry, I remember the rules...no roughhousing in the house!

 

[sr171soars]

Oh boy... Can this be a good thing? Lord help us!!! Serioulsy, I would love to meet you guys and have a beer or what ever your favorite beverage is.

Indeed as you say, Lord help us!

None of that potent stuff for me...my tipple is a smooth sweet tea!

 

[Cloggy]

I tried to fool myself that my son was having progress with his hearing aids the last couple of years. I could tell he couldn't hear nor speak as well as his younger sister. When the school explained to us clearly that he would always struggle with even the best HA's and that if we wanted him to continue developing his speech and hearing abilities, that CI was the last option after HA's.

It took me 2 hours of soul searching and a long conversation with a close hearing friend to feel this calmness pushing out my fears. I took the rest of the day off from work to be with my wife. We had a talk about a 5 year old boy with deaf parents we knew who was implanted a year ago... I remember being impressed how well he pronounced words and how well he conversed with us in sign language last month. That encounter kind of took away all the negative thoughts I had about CI all on its own.

It took humility, wisdom and love to change my feelings.

I admire you for handling a crisis situation like that. For looking beyond your first impressions and look further.
And then, confronting the rest of your community with that decision.
"Mijn petje af!"

And I also admire your friends and family around you. No matter what the decision would have been, I can see you would allways have their support. Because they are made from the same stuff as you are. With an open mind towards new possibilities.

“The years teach us many things of which the days have no notion”

to you... (May it be Grolsch!!)

 

[Cloggy]

............
None of that potent stuff for me...my tipple is a smooth sweet tea!

I'll have a tonic... straight up!!

 

[deafdyke]

Would that be an alkyholic tonic or a Boston tonic (soda)?
It does feel good to know that the debate over CI is getting a lot more moderate! I still think that some of the pro-CI people need to stop sounding like they are selling it.....some of the pro-CI folks make it seem like CI is GREAT for EVERYONE!!!! Also think that the antis need to realize that in some cases, the CI is basicly the only option, due to lack of residual hearing.....and there should be NOTHING wrong with parents opting for CI, if hearing aids aren't enough. I just think that the "My child will be able to function as NORMAL!!!" or " My child needs to have the LATEST MOST MODREN hearing device" folks need to be told the truth.
Fragmenter, have you asked your son if he wants a CI? He's old enough to help make the decision. Are there other Deaf kids around your area with CI?
I mean I think that it's gonna be more common to see Deaf kids with CIs......are you in touch with your state's School for the Deaf?

 

[Fragmenter]

Fragmenter, have you asked your son if he wants a CI? He's old enough to help make the decision. Are there other Deaf kids around your area with CI?
I mean I think that it's gonna be more common to see Deaf kids with CIs......are you in touch with your state's School for the Deaf?

Budweiser or straight Kentucky bourbon with coca cola for me!

Yes, he knows what a CI is.. he has 3 classmates who all has the Freedom implant. We physically showed him the Cochelar's demo kit that has everything, including the device, on display. He said he wants his in black, not silver or tan. Ever since then he's been wanting to go to the doctor every day to get it. We keep trying to explain that his operation is on July 28th.

He has a cat scan appointment next month and he knows he has to be sedated which he hates because he had to get stitches from a playground injury a few months ago. If he doesn't want CI, he would have easily said NO when we explained to him he'd have to be sedated but he didn't He's been mature when we talked about CI with him. On a side note, his doctor has 190 cochelar implant operations under his belt so we're confident about everything. With God, anything is possible.

When it comes to education, we are extremely picky! I haven't met alumnis of the state's school that has impressed me... The public school system here is in the top 5 percentile nationwide. We're still discussing his education plan since he's going to start kindergarden this fall (at the same oral school) so we have a little over a year to settle on something solid.

 

[greema]

looks like this forum is going great, much much better than one or two others that i'd been looking at -- it helps a lot if everyone opens up their minds and are willing to listen to others -- those with closed minds will not get anywhere, especially forward!

you know, my husband and i had to endure our deaf friends putting us down for sending our children into the mainstream setting and i remember asking some of them if their kids were deaf, would they send them to the deaf school -- some of them got stopped cold

i am going to keep a close eye on this forum and other related forums

it sure would be wonderful if we all could meet!

 

[deafdyke]

When it comes to education, we are extremely picky! I haven't met alumnis of the state's school that has impressed me... The public school system here is in the top 5 percentile nationwide. We're still discussing his education plan since he's going to start kindergarden this fall (at the same oral school) so we have a little over a year to settle on something solid.

Can undy that.....i asked if you were hooked up with the state school, b/c they might be able to help you with resources, not nessarily for your boy's education. Although generally the Early Intervention programs at State Schools for a particualr disablity, tend to be wicked good.(like Perkins School for the Blind's high school academic programs aren't too good, but their EI programs are AWESOME! You could opt for a split placement (like a couple of days in the oral classroom, a couple of days in a TC self contained classroom) just to see which program is the best fit. I know off the top of my head,that there are a significent number of orally trained kids who have to use an ASL 'terp in the mainstream classroom.
Also, by exposing him to TC methods he can relax and actually learn content.
In addition, experimenting and being flexiable with educational placement, could avoid a lot of heartbreak.

 

[Cloggy]

looks like this forum is going great, much much better than one or two others that i'd been looking at -- it helps a lot if everyone opens up their minds and are willing to listen to others -- those with closed minds will not get anywhere, especially forward!

you know, my husband and i had to endure our deaf friends putting us down for sending our children into the mainstream setting and i remember asking some of them if their kids were deaf, would they send them to the deaf school -- some of them got stopped cold

i am going to keep a close eye on this forum and other related forums

it sure would be wonderful if we all could meet!

Come to Norway and I'll pick you up from the airport.
Looking forward to meet you

 

[Fragmenter]

Can undy that.....i asked if you were hooked up with the state school, b/c they might be able to help you with resources, not nessarily for your boy's education. Although generally the Early Intervention programs at State Schools for a particualr disablity, tend to be wicked good.(like Perkins School for the Blind's high school academic programs aren't too good, but their EI programs are AWESOME! You could opt for a split placement (like a couple of days in the oral classroom, a couple of days in a TC self contained classroom) just to see which program is the best fit. I know off the top of my head,that there are a significent number of orally trained kids who have to use an ASL 'terp in the mainstream classroom.
Also, by exposing him to TC methods he can relax and actually learn content.
In addition, experimenting and being flexiable with educational placement, could avoid a lot of heartbreak.

Thank you for the advices. We'll take them all into serious consideration.

 

[gnulinuxman]

This is my dream -- deafies from all walks of life getting along with each other AND with the hearing people! Props to everyone in this thread

Mine too.

 

[MsGiglz]

I am jumping in late on this thread, but I want everyone to be aware that I am Fragmenter's mom and I am proud to see him carrying on this discussion and my husband and I stand by him and his wife all the way... We found out over a week ago about their considering CI for their son, our grandson and now we are convinced they are moving in the right direction for him. Mind you, we have been SO against CI ever since it begun up until our first conversation with Fragmenter and his wife. My husband and I are very willing to keep an open mind and listen to their reasonings and I have discussed with a few deaf peers and for the most part, I have found them to positively respond. An oral school here in our city has been graduating their students (most of them have CI) at the fourth grade level and sending them on to public schools AND that school used to graduate the students up to the 8th grade level! I was very surprised to hear (well, yes us deafies are allowed to use that word, aren't we?!?) this bit of news.
Very good thread! Just don't mind those trying to stir up the pot without opening up their minds and consider the facts.

Hi mom..

It was so nice of you and your husband support your son all way.. I applause you for that.. I wish my mom is that "supportive" but its hard to find someone be like that..

Yeah, first I was so much against CI because I am the "one" went through turmoil and tricked into surgery but I didnt have CI... but the important that CI children are in good hands and still expose to both worlds..

I understand alot people are against CI ... but if you show your child/children in both worlds, but be expected from other being ingorant or harsh.. like lilydad is going through..

Hang in there moms and dads..

 

[MsGiglz]

I'm afraid but aren't you guys hearing? You don't know what it's like to live in a silent world.

Not all deaf people want to be deaf so why can't their feelings be respected?

You are not only one.. I am still afraid even I am 41 years old..